16. back to the basics

SIXTEEN

back to the basics

Tuesday, March 25th

Isaiah would be lying if he said that everything went back to normal after talking to Marcus.

Because it didn't. It was still awkward. Painfully so. Isaiah didn't know how to talk to him anymore. It was like he was staring at a stranger. Maybe he was being overdramatic, but could you blame him? His so-called best friend had told a lie, a potentially life-threatening lie, all because he was afraid to admit he felt replaced.

Isaiah paused, blinking in surprise. He hadn't realized just how bad it was until now. He buried his face in his hands, pressing his fingertips harshly against his forehead. He couldn't believe how naive he was, to let him back in just like that.

"I'm so stupid," he hissed into his hands, then slid them down just enough to glance at the person sitting next to him. The stranger gave him a weird look, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

Isaiah dropped his hands and picked up his pen. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I just talk to myself. Sometimes." Fuck, stop making it worse, dumbass.

She sent him a polite smile. "No worries," she said, but still scooted her chair the slightest bit away from him. She probably didn't think he noticed, but he did. Unfortunately. It caused his cheeks to burn in embarrassment. Someone just put me out of my misery, please.

The bell rang not long after that incident, and he fled the room like there were hounds at his heels. He pulled out his phone and sent a speedy text to the lunch groupchat.

Isaiah: I think the girl who sits next to me in third thinks I'm crazy please help

Steve-o: lmao

Morgan: oh no! )-: i'm sorry! summer's almost here, you won't see her again most likely

Ashton: that's a phat yikes

August: lmao isaiah turn around i see u walk with me please and thanks

Isaiah raised his head and turned around, August lifting a hand in a short wave when Isaiah spotted him. He stopped and waited for him to catch up, and Isaiah couldn't help but smile when he saw his teasing grin.

"Hey," August greeted. "Quick question. Why did your friend, Marcus, try to say hi to me in second period? I didn't know what to do so I kind of just pretended I didn't see him."

Isaiah's smile dropped. "Oh, um. He and I made up, I guess."

August raised an eyebrow, and Isaiah averted his gaze away from the silent lecture in his eyes. "Oh really? Even though he called you a queer to his friends?"

"He didn't—"

"No, he didn't. But he sure as hell didn't correct them, either," August interrupted, and Isaiah felt like he was being scolded. "Not to mention he just told them that you were gay, as if it was nothing. As if it couldn't potentially ruin so much for you."

Isaiah sighed. "It doesn't matter. I'm not gay anyway."

"And?" August pushed. "People like to believe rumors rather than the truth. Trust me."

"August."

"Isaiah," he mocked. "You're not seriously going to forgive him just like that, are you? If so, you're much more naive than I thought."

Isaiah sighed in exasperation. "I'm not."

August watched him out of the corner of his eye, forehead creased in deep thought. "Good," he said finally, focusing on the path in front of them. "Because I saw you break down due to what he did. That's not something I'd forgive him for."

"Can we stop talking about this?"

"Yeah. Your fourth is Mr. Evans, right?"

Isaiah nodded. "Don't you have Johnson?" he asked, tilting his head in confusion. He jerked his thumb behind them. "Isn't her class back there?"

August shrugged, looping his thumbs around the lower straps of his backpack. "Yeah, but I'm going to the nurse," he explained, then patted his palm against the thigh of his good leg. "This little shit's hurting."

Isaiah couldn't help but think August was really good at hiding his pain. It made his mind flash back to when he barely knew him, witnessed his defeated stance in the empty hallways, hand squeezing desperately at his leg, as if begging it to get better. He frowned at the memory.

"You need someone to go with you?" He offered, slowing his steps. "I can, if you want. I don't mind."

August chuckled. "I'm fine, but thanks." He playfully squeezed Isaiah's cheek, which had him wondering if August knew he liked him. If he was doing shit like that just to get under his skin. If so, it was working. God, was it working. "Get to class. I'll see you at lunch, yeah?"

"Yeah." Isaiah hated how breathless he sounded. He watched August walk away. Watched how he carded his fingers through his shoulder-length locks, and the way he carried himself as if he was at ease, yet still had tension in his shoulders that suggested he expected something to happen. As if he was on guard.

It was then that Isaiah noticed August always seemed like he was expecting something bad to happen.

___

Marcus was sat at their lunch table for the first time since everything had happened, and it was painfully awkward.

Isaiah used his popsocket to swirl his phone around in circles, leaning his head against the heel of his hand. He kept himself occupied as everyone else talked quietly, not really wanting to accidentally exclude Marcus, or really include him either, so they spoke to one person instead of everyone. Isaiah wanted to leave and escape the uncomfortable atmosphere.

He was just about ready to, until—

"Hey, cool hoodie," Morgan said, pointing at Marcus's jacket. It was a colorblock one, filled with primary colors. "Where'd you get it?"

Morgan, you're too nice for your own good, Isaiah thought.

Marcus blinked in surprise and glanced down at his hoodie, fingers pulling at the strings. "Um, Zumiez."

"Oh, darn," she said, shoulders slumping in disappointment. "That means it's expensive."

"Uh, yeah," Marcus replied. "But I work there, so I get a discount."

Steve let out a sudden chuckle, muffled by his hand. "Sorry, it's just so hard to imagine you working there," he admitted. "You're such a jock."

Marcus frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like," August said bluntly, popping a chip in his mouth. "You're not edgy enough. You look like the most edge you have is driving without shoes on."

Marcus scowled. "It's a job. It doesn't matter what you look like."

"Eh, that's debatable," August continued. "You seen the workers at Hot Topic?"

"Hey," Ashton piped up defensively. "I worked there."

Steve snorted loudly, almost coughing up his drink. "Ashton, dude, you worked there in your scene phase. You don't have an opinion."

"You had a scene phase?" August exclaimed in surprise. When Ashton nodded shamefully, August let out a howl of laughter, reaching out to palm at his wrist. "Dude, dude, do you have pictures? I have to see scene Ashton. It's mandatory."

Ashton batted at his hand and jerked back. "No," he grumbled. "Go away."

"I have pictures," Steve said, and the betrayed look on Ashton's face was comical.  He begged Steve not to show August, but it was too late, because he'd already found Ashton's old Instagram account, and he was showing August everything.

Isaiah cracked a tiny smile, amused as he watched his friends bicker back and forth over the pictures of Ashton. His gaze stayed on August most of the time, admiring the way his eyes became smaller when he grinned and laughed so genuinely. His chest squeezed, and he couldn't help but think I want to be the one to make him smile like that.

___

Q: have you ever had a crush before? if so, what was it like?