13. Strictly Professional

I've only been as scared as I am currently once in my life. And that didn't end well, so I can only hope that it ends better this time.

Last night was the biggest shit-show of my life, and I don't ever want to relive that. Even though I've spent almost every waking moment thinking of that mysterious man's fingers as they grazed my skin, and his strong scent embracing me. But even so, the thought that I left Rory to fend for herself in that horrendous club brings my thoughts back to reality, and I can't stomach the thought of what I've done. It doesn't help that I haven't seen or heard a peep out of her since too. I've texted her multiple times, as well as called, but have not received a single reply. And after Nikolai berated me for leaving her behind, I can't stop thinking of what other terrible things I've done to Ro.

It's eating me from the inside out. I need to make it up to her.

But before that, I need to face the man who I'm sure hates me after last night. I have no clue as to why he still wants to bring me in for a talk, perhaps he just wants to add salt to the wound and waste my time just to prove his point. I wouldn't put it past him, and I wouldn't say I don't deserve it.

I pull on a pair of olive green dress pants to pair with a white blouse. Today is strictly professional. My makeup is minimal and I slip on a pair of ballet flats to go with the fit. My hair is pulled back into a tight bun with no fly-always and I wear my golden locket around my neck. I look nice, but I can still barely look at myself in the mirror after last night. I feel disgusting. Putting dick before my sister? How could I?

Pushing my thoughts aside, I reach for my purse and check that I haven't forgotten anything. Keys, phone, lip balm, kindle. Will to live...? Eh, I've got enough. Marching towards the front door, I unlock it and enter into the waking world. It may be only eight-thirty in the morning, but it may as well be the middle of the day with the amount of people out and about. New York sleeps for no one.

The streets are bustling with activity, and the further I get towards Nikolai's building, the busier it gets. Men in business suits and women in business attire. Thankfully I don't look out of place, but I just know in an hour I'll be walking out of this building with my head hung low and a cloud of shame hanging above me. Even when I reach his building, I can feel his overbearing shadow falling over my form all the way on the top floor. Take it like a pro, Phoeb's. You got this, don't let a stupid man put you down.

I walk to reception with sweaty palms, but try to calm myself as I approach the same man who was at the front desk when I came here last time. He barely looks up at me before rolling his eyes. "You know where to go, Amy will be there again to direct you with everything else." He says curtly before blowing me off to turn back to his computer. Honestly I don't know why I'm here, clearly I'm not wanted.

I head towards the elevator anyway and press level thirty. The ride up is one of many nerves, and it only gets worse as it stops multiple times, letting multiple people in and dropping them off on the way to the top. Oh god, please have mercy on me. I can only hope Nikolai decides that it was the alcohol in me that was responsible for last night. Because it was, mostly. Or maybe it was mostly my idiocy and desperation for a man. But either way, I didn't mean any harm. I love Rory, never would I want to hurt her.

But it seems that Nikolai thinks very differently of me. It's as if he thinks he knows things about me. But surely not...there's no way. He couldn't know, and I refuse to think he does. I am a new person, and I won't let some privileged man try to tear me down. I won't allow it.

So as the elevator stops at the thirtieth floor, I suck in a deep breath and pretend that I am the most calm I've ever been in my life. I put on an expression of complete relaxation and smooth my shirt and pants, covertly wiping the sweat from my palms. Today is going to go how I let it. I am in control and I will not let some shitty outcome ruin things for me. Surely this manifestation will get me somewhere...

Amy awaits me outside the elevator, and thankfully she is not anywhere near as pissed as the man downstairs seemed to see me. She gives me a nice smile and says, "Right this way, Nikolai is in a meeting in his office right now and will be a few minutes. Feel free to sit down while you wait." She gestures to a lone chair beside her desk. I take the seat, knowing that my legs will shake if I don't.

"Thanks," I give her a smile and she returns it before going back to her work.

I feel like a child waiting in the dentist's office. I'm terrified.

After a few minutes of waiting, Amy receives a call from who I suspect is Nikolai, and my suspicions are confirmed when she stands from her seat and looks at me. "Nikolai is ready to see you now." I feel like I'm being sent to my death, but make no move to run away and instead follow Amy down the hall to his office. It'll be fine, the worst that could happen is I don't get the job, and frankly I don't even know if I want that anymore. So what could possibly go so badly?

Amy stops and places her hand on the door handle. This is it. Pushing down on the handle, the door opens and I step inside, with my head held high.

That is until I see who else is in the room.

I find myself taking the smallest step back, but at this point, Amy has closed the door already and I back into the hard surface.

Shit. Fuck. I'm screwed.

Staring back at me are two sets of eyes. And one of them belongs to a man I would never have imagined would be here.

"Miss Bates, please come take a seat." Nikolai says with the utmost civility. As if he did not basically threaten me last night. I swear one moment this man is hot and the next he is freezing cold. What the hell is up with him? I guess this is what money does to people. Of all people I should know that.

He gestures to a chair opposite his beautifully neat desk, and beside the man who I refuse to acknowledge. "Good morning Mr. Volkov." I say, trying so hard to keep my voice clear and calm. Thankfully it doesn't sound like I'm shitting myself and so I move to the chair beside the man I don't even try looking at.

"I can appreciate you may be a little confused as to why we are not alone in this mornings meeting, but I've also heard you are acquainted with Mr. Camdon which makes things much easier."

I look over to Leon who looks back at me with those dark eyes that show absolutely no emotion or life. It's as if he's some kind of zombie. A really good looking zombie at that. But a zombie nonetheless.

Through his dead eyes, he manages to appear somewhat civil in front of Nikolai, and holds his hand out to me. "It's a pleasure seeing you again Miss Bates." He says with that deep husky voice of his. Despite his hospitable words, I can see the disdain painted over his whole face, even through his facade.

I take his hand and prickles of electricity spark up my arm. His hold is firm and hot like fire. I bring my eyes to meet his once more. "No, the pleasure is all mine Sir." I reply back, and for a fraction of a second, I swear I see something like hunger in his eyes. But that would be utterly ridiculous, and in no time, he's back to that stone cold face.

I turn back to Nikolai who is looking over a bunch of papers scattered on his desk. I assume it's my resume and CV, but it's hard to tell from where I'm seated.

My anxiety bubbles deep within my stomach and up my throat. I feel like I could be sick with all this anticipation. Why is Leon here? And why won't Nikolai just tell me my chances of ever finding a job again are gone? I just want to go to bed and cry into a pillow. A nice pint of ice cream would be really good right about now...

Nikolai clears his throat and my attention turns back to him. Finally!

"After careful consideration, I will not be offering a contract of employment."

Despite knowing that this would be the outcome, I still feel disappointed, a little part of me feels like a deflated balloon. I could have started my corporate journey and beginning my climb of the corporate ladder.

"But instead Mr. Camdon would like to offer you one."

I'm sorry?

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Unedited

Hey Guys!!!

I am eternally sorry for not posting in ages. I've been so sick with covid and uni was kicking me in the ass. But everything will be back to normal now. So sorry this chapter is bad, I struggled with writing it for some reason, but it will get better I promise!!!

Hope you all are doing well!!!!

Love ya'll!!

-FoggyCloudyWords