Chapter 48

I miss you already, even though I could basically walk over to your place any time I wanted to. Hm, I might have to do that whenever I need to steal a kiss from you -smirking emoji- Today was fun, I love spending time with you and I hope you do too. About Wednesday, are you sure you want to go there? We could still just play in my pool, you know?

Biting my lip, I tried to surpass that idiotic grin that tried to sneak it's way onto my face while I read his text. Oddly, every message I have received from him is something special, he manages to make me smile or feel like he's right there with me by simply typing on a smartphone and sending that to me. It's weird but also nice. Nice to know that a feeling like this actually exists and that it's not just something created by movies or books.

I miss you too, today was really great, being with you makes me happy... I don't even know why, but even reading your message makes me smile. I wish you were here right now, you make the bad thoughts in my head go away with just simply being close to me.

I deleted the entire text. No way in hell, I could ever send something like this, even if it is the truth.

I miss you too, but please don't barge in here whenever you feel like it, at least call beforehand -laughing emoji- I enjoyed our time together as well, I'm glad we got to talk and stuff. Anyway, don't worry, I'm not going to back out of something that is already planned, I mean, it can't be that bad now can it?

Deep down, I wanted to send what I had written before, but I knew that it was more than inappropriate to just throw something like this at someone. It didn't take long for Nathan to answer, it never actually does, at least when he has nothing better to do.

I'm glad too, I hope I could help you at least a little. Just remember, I like you for the person you are, whether that's the one that cried down in the music room or the one that can transform from cute baby dog into an angry baby dog in only a few seconds -winking emoji- Don't think about all of this too much, let your heart decide what you want. That actually sounded really cheesy, make sure you don't get stuck on that sticky line over there, or else I have to come and help you out -laughing emoji-

I cracked a quiet laughter as I read his text, so sweet but also so... weird and kinda irritating. How even is he doing this? Staring at the letters of the message, I thought of a good response to this, not quite sure if there's something appropriate to answer.

You help just by being near me. Sorry, I'm not trying to catch up on the cheesiness that you're spreading . Although, I think I actually did get stuck -laughingemoji-

I can't believe I'm having a conversation like this with another guy that lives seven houses down the street. The watch vibrates.

Wait, I'll be there in a sec...

My eyes widened at what I just read, heart starting to pick up on some speed.

Are you serious right now?

It took a lot longer for him to answer so I was actually starting to freak out. What if he's already standing in front of the door. And what am I supposed to tell my parents if there is suddenly a guy standing there who wants to see me at 7.30pm? My watch vibrates.

I am if you want me to be.

I really do want to see him, butI don't know how to explain something like this, to my parents that is.

I would love to see you, don't get me wrong, but I don't think now is a good time. I'm not sure how I'd explain that to my parents. Let's just keep on texting and we'll see each other tomorrow?

It kinda hurt writing this, like, I really wanted him to come over, maybe even over night, I wanted him to put his arms around me, pull me closer to him and kiss my forehead. Or kiss my mouth, I don't even mind either way.

He agreed and so we texted until late at night, when my eyes finally fell shut, ending the conversation without a proper goodbye. We talked about everything that crossed out mind, but what i totally forgot was answering Claire's message, I only remembered because she appeared in my dream this night and it sure wasn't a good one. We stopped being friends and completely shut things up. No wonder I woke up, sweat and tears running down my face and fingers trembling in fear. I don't want to end this friendship, she is so important to me, maybe even more than Nathan.

Getting out of bed was the hardest thing to do, but when I saw a few missed texts from him, my mood immediately bettered and I yet again forgot about the girl that used to mean the world to me.

What do you think about it? You could totally come with me to my hometown, that way you can meet my friends.

Hey, you still up?

Helloooo?

Oh my god, did you fall asleep? That's literally the cutest thing in the world!

Do have a good night sleep, I'll see you in the morning when I pick you up for school. You and your sister I mean.

Good morning sleeping beauty. Hope you slept well, I'll come over in about 30 minutes. See you then.

I smiled at my screen, almost jumping out of bed to get ready for school, packing my stuff after I finished my business in the bathroom, including showering and got dressed. Exiting my room, I saw Alex, walk out of the bathroom, her eyes yet again slightly red. "Hey, everything okay?", I push a few strands of hair out of her face, smiling at her with a worried expression. She shrugged it off, leaving after I had told her about Nathan's plans of picking us up.

Walking down the stairs and entering the kitchen, I think about what could possibly make her this sad that she seems to always cry. I really wanted to know, seeing her like this hurts. My parents were sitting at the counter, drinking coffee and eating toast, while talking. "Hey baby, how did you sleep? Here is some toast if you want.", my mother let me sit on her seat, getting our lunches for school ready. I still had a few more minutes left before he would arrive, so I used this chance to talk with my parents, since I haven't done that in a while.

Almost on time, my watch vibrated telling me that he's waiting for us outside. I grab my things and sister, before heading towards the door, only to get stopped by my mother. "Please remember that Jordan will be here to tutor you today, so no spending hours at the neighbors, okay? You two have a nice day.", she placed a kiss on both of our foreheads, letting us leave after she had said these few words to us.

Dang, I almost forgot about Jordan. It's not that I don't like him but whenever we're alone he behaves a little weird, not sure if that's just my imagination or not. I see Nathan sitting in his truck, a broad smile displayed on his face as he saw us approaching him. "Hey.", I get in the passenger seat, grinning at the way he was looking at me. I knew what he was thinking about, I thought the same. I wanted to kiss him, but we were both not sure if that's such a good thing to do in front of my sister. Although she did see us once, but he doesn't know about that.

"Hey.", he answered, still smiling at me, but not leaning closer for a kiss, much to my disappointment. He started the engine, the vibration of the car noticeable even for me, as we make our way to our school without much talking. I was happy though, well of course I was, since I didn't know about the pissed of girl that was waiting there for me.

We arrived at the packed parking lot, searching for a free spot just like yesterday. "I really don't want to go to classes today.", I said as I got out of the car and walked over to Nathan and my sister. "Me neither.", he smiled, his lips curling up. The three of us started heading towards the entrance, Alex leaving us as soon as she saw some of her friends, which left Nathan and I alone. Or what ever alone is when you walk through the hallways of a high school in the morning.

Sometimes I'd take a glance at him, or his hand, wanting to just grab it and walk like that for the rest of the day, but I knew that I shouldn't do that, not here and not with everyone watching us. We enter the classroom, a familiar death glare sprung towards me. Claire got up from her seat, eyebrows furrowed and eyes shooting darts at me and possibly at the boy walking next to me.

"What the hell is your problem?", no hello, no how are you, she immediately started to yell at me. I guess that was the moment when I remembered her dozens of texts I never actually answered. Shrinking down a little, I tried to dodge her gaze, too scared to even look at her straight. "I'm sorry.", I glanced over at Nathan, seeing him looking at us wide eyed and confused. I reluctantly turned my head back to the raging girl in front of me, regretting everything I did. Or didn't do.

"Since when do you stop answering my messages? Were you too distracted with sucking his face?!", my eyes widen in shock and tears shot up, on the verge of overflowing. She would never say something like that. "It's not just that you don't answer, but you don't even bother being around me anymore. When my mother asked you guys to come eat lunch with us, you would ignore me and just stare at your phone. Or lunch breaks. Or when I slept over at your place, you just left!", I could see tears in her eyes as well, making the blue in them blurry and look even more like water.

"I'm sorry.", that was the only thing I was capable of saying, nothing else crossed my mind at that moment. "I bet you are, but you know what? All of this is a good thing! You can just do whatever you want with him and leave me alone. After all these years, you forget I even exist with just one new person in your life?", she left. The last thing I saw were tears streaming down her face. So did mine. I turned to Nathan, who immediately wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my back like he did yesterday.

My worst nightmare had just come true.