Chapter 11: Insecurities

"Shourya, what are you doing here my son?" Suman calls.

"Maa, I-" Shourya stuffs the phone in his pocket before turning to his mother.

"I was. . . . umm . . . . actually I just called Meera"

Suman looks a little bit surprised, "Really! Why?"

"I . . . umm. . . I just wanted to make sure everything was okay, you know, she uh. . . . she's home alone so. . . she might need something. . . . I thought it was the right thing to do, and I wanted to call. . . to see if she was okay if Muskaan and Jai are all right too. Of course. Them as well-"

"Beta," Suman puts a hand on her shoulder and soothes him, "aacha kiya aapne, she's going to be your wife, you need to take care of her."

(Son. . . . . you did good.)

Shourya clears his throat and nods, but there was something off. Suman could feel it.

"Shourya, bacha what is it? I know something is bothering you?"

Shourya fiddles with his cufflinks, "Maa, I'm a little worried. About a few things."

"A few things. What is it?"

"Just about Meera and us or if she's happy? I don't know maa."

Suman pats her son's shoulders to comfort him, "I know my child, how about we talk about this tomorrow, at home? Or we could go to the Dhaba?"

"Okay maa."

Next Morning at Singhania Mansion:

"Good morning maa," Shourya sticks his head in his parents' room early the next morning. His father was standing in front of his mother, getting his tie fixed.

"Hum bhi hai, hame bhi pooch lo," Raj says.

(I am also here, ask me too.)

"Good morning, dad."

"Beta, take a seat. I was thinking you and me can go out to the Dhaba for lunch once I've cleared all your little worries," Raj teases.

"Maa, you told dad?" Shourya's face turns red as he gazes, wide-eyed, at his mother.

Taking a seat, he waits for his parents to finish up. Once they do, they take a seat on either side of their son.

"What are you worried about bacha?" Suman asks.

Shourya takes a minute to clear his thoughts before he says.

"What if she was in love with Rohan? I mean they were going to get engaged yesterday, she had seen him as her future husband for years."

"I don't think she's in love with him. Beta, did you see her when she met him at the temple? I'm a woman, I can feel a woman's emotions by just looking into her eyes. And you spoke to her last night, did she sound upset?"

"No maa, in fact, I asked her, and she said no."

"She's not one to lie."

"Hmmmm, maa I- uh. . . . . I didn't want to get married, like ever. And now. . . . I am. What if I'm not ready? How will I know what to do, what to say? What if I'm not doing the right thing? What if I can't keep her happy?"

This time Raj turns to his son.

"If you weren't ready, you wouldn't be asking these questions. You wouldn't be thinking of all this."

"And because you're asking all this I'm sure you'll keep her happy. Just do what feels right, do what your heart tells you to," Suman adds.

"And you need to talk to each other, like last night. You expressed your concern to her about her welfare and she settled your worries," Raj states.

"Maa! You told him what we talked about too!?!"

His parents found his embarrassment amusing.

"You'll work each other out, she'll guide you, you'll guide her and know what the right things are over time." His maa smiles at him.

"And most importantly, your mother and I have been married 30 years. You guys need to date each other, especially after getting married. Okay. Now tell me, do you like her?"

Shourya stares at his father, now his neck feeling warm. "I-uh"

He takes a moment before he says, "yes, I do."

At the Rao's house:

"Maa, can I talk to you?" Meera calls.

She had woken up and opened her Instagram. The twins and Meera followed each other, they even have a group chat, which is made up of Meera, Riya, Aarav, Muskaan and their cool Bhabhi Anushka.

Riya had posted a stunning picture of her from last night, as Meera swiped she saw Rohan and his wife, with his parents, pictures with some friends, and there was even one with Anushka Bhabhi. They all looked beautiful. Riya had also posted one of the siblings, Aarav, Riya, and Shourya. He did look a little out of place amongst the colourful flowers. She had tagged them. Meera opened his profile; she doesn't follow him although his account is public.

There were no posts, but there were some highlights. She clicked on them, there was one of his works, the buildings he had designed. The was one from their holiday to Turkey, one from New York, and one from Australia. There were a few more, but just these were enough to surface insecurities.

"Yes beta!"

"Can we go to the garden?"

"Chalo."

(Let's go)

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.

.

.

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"What? Beta, why are you thinking like this?"

"I don't know, but it's true maa. We're so different! What if I don't fit in!"

"Aww, beta! You will of course you will. I don't get where this is coming from."

Rohini waits for her daughter to finish her venting, she looks like she needs it like she's been holding it in for a while. Once she's done, she grabs her daughter's hand and walks her to the swing takes a seat before guiding her daughter next to her. Meera puts her head on her mother's lap, her eyes getting watery.

"Bacha, I know how to feel. That's how I felt too. I married your father when I was young; younger than you. That's just how things were in our village." She begins to pat Meera's head and smooths out her hair.

"I met your father just three times before we were husband and wife, once when they came to see me, then at our engagement and then on the actual wedding day, I was so nervous. We were not as well off as your father's family, I thought I wouldn't fit in, and I wouldn't know what to do. Just like you are thinking right now, but my mother sat me down and told me something that I'm about to tell you mera bacha. They've come to our house, and met us, in fact, your father grew up with them. They know how we live, and how much we could be earning. But still, they chose you, they chose you when you were wearing you cotton Anarkali you bought three years ago. They chose you when you were wearing the tiny golden earrings barely visible. They chose you when you were standing in the middle of a small yet crowded living room. Shourya has seen this; his parents have seen this. They know."

Meera looked at her mother as her tears dropped down her cheeks. "Mera beta, they are very patient people, very generous and kind-hearted. They'll wait for you to fit in, they'll guide you along the way, and what if they like you just the way you are and they don't want you to fit in? What if they just change the mould of their house to make room for you just the way you are? Have you ever thought like that? Hmmm? And when you go there, get to know them, this nervousness will slowly vanish."

Meera hugs her mum tight, "But you guys won't be there for me Mumma."

"Awwwww honey, we won't physically be there, but we're just one call away, you know that. And if you baba and bhai weren't a hundred percent confident in Shourya and his family, would they have agreed? If your heart wasn't a hundred percent sure, would you have said yes? I know Rohan didn't turn out the way we thought, but Shourya wasn't pressured into this. So him being here and saying yes says everything. And your talking like you'll be by yourself amongst some monsters." Rohini holds her daughter's face in her hands and wipes away her tears, "you'll have so many people there for you, and especially you'll have your husband."

"Dheere Dheere dil se yeh daar nikal jayega."

(Slowly, over time this fear will leave your heart.)