Change and Chances

6 years earlier

Vincent straightened his tie in the mirror. It wasn't often that he got to go to a fancy party, but when he did it was nice to have a good outfit to wear. It was Lucas' birthday, and as was customary his parents were throwing a giant blowout bash to pretend they cared about their son for the rest of the year.

Sydney and her stuffy family would be in attendance, so Vincent was really not looking forward to spending the night there. Still, he'd gone to the party with his mother since he was a child. Lucas wanted them there, even if it really bugged the older Marshall's in the family.

Vincent pushed gel through his hair and nodded to himself. In such nice clothes he always thought he looked like a little British boy, or perhaps a little Irish boy as his hair would suggest. It wasn't a look he disliked, just it didn't really fight to dress that way when it didn't match how he actually felt about the party on the inside. He'd have loved to spend the day with Lucas, but he knew he probably wouldn't actually get much time with the birthday boy if his whole family was there.

Vincent and his mother were greeted at the front door of the large white house of their next door neighbors by Ms. Marshall who had her hair nicely curled and a party dress on. she was the picture of a perfect hostess. Though neither woman was particularly fond of the other, they were both civil for the sake of the children. Vincent figured it was very difficult for Ms. Marshall to know that Lucas really preferred Ms. Chance.

"Vincent you look very spiffy." Ms. Marshall complimented, though she usually would make it a point to insult him in front of Lucas. "Lucas is with Sydney, so you'll have to entertain yourself." She said with her mouth drawn in a plain line.

"That's just fine." Ms. Chance offered a fake smile. "The house looks lovely."

"Thank you." Ms. Marshall grinned. "We've just had this room redone."

"You'll have to help me sometime, I've got awful taste."

"Clearly." Ms. Marshall muttered under her breath, though both guests could hear her.

"Well, we should be getting inside." Ms. Chance led Vincent inside. Lucas' family was political and Ms. Chance had to hold back a gag as she passed a few of the local politicians her friend had chosen to invite to her son's party.

The whole room was stuffed with people in black and white fancy outfits, with the Chances standing out for having worn more color. The Marshall house was stylish in an ugly kind of way. It was very modern, with no sense of homeliness. The people who walked through the house eyed the Chance family strangely as if they didn't belong, so they sat together alone for most of the night.

Lucas finally showed his face, walking into the room with Sydney, and Vincent wanted to barf. Whoever let that ugly girl buy such a pretty dress was evil. In spite of his lack of fondness for the girl Vincent smiled regardless, not wanting to let it ruin Lucas' big day. Though he wondered if it wouldn't matter, being that Lucas hated the big party his parents would throw for him. There were too many people, and not the right ones.

By that point the two had already begun to drift apart, and Vincent had worried he'd want to celebrate with her instead and would leave their time together behind. He wanted to still be spending all his time with Lucas, but they weren't in the same class and it was becoming increasingly hard to do.

"Ms. Chance, Vincent! It's great to see you!" Lucas grinned, walking over to the pair. Sydney rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, but followed regardless.. not that she was wanted.

"Happy Birthday!" Vincent pulled Lucas into a tight hug, ignoring the glare Sydney offered him. Lucas wasn't her property. Lucas wasn't property at all. But if he was, he'd be way more Vincent's than hers.

"I feel bad." Lucas frowned as they pulled apart. "People keep calling me away, so I didn't get to say 'hello' to you guys."

"Oh, It's alright dear." Ms. Chance shrugged. "It's your day. We're just here to support you."

"I still feel bad." Lucas mumbled.

"Oh look, there's some of the girls from school. Let's go say hi!" Sydney gripped Lucas arm, dragging him towards the people she wanted to see.

"Well.. bye." Lucas called back to them wistfully. Vincent scoffed, that girl was parading him around like a prized horse, it was horrible. She was horrible, he decided.

"Are you upset?" Ms. Chance asked.

"No." Vincent lied and his mother smiled to herself.

"It's just a phase."

Vincent walked slowly over to a table where there was food set out and looked with a frown at the strange collection of cuisine. Lucas' familial parties were always set up like that, almost as if the food served as a class barrier meant to separate those who belonged from those who didn't. As children Lucas and Vincent would laugh at the spectacle together, but now... Vincent had never felt so alone and isolated.

"I'm going to the restroom." Vincent alerted his mother. He dodged people he didn't knew on his way to the room, and promptly locked the door. Lucas' mother had somehow managed to invite all the boys from their small school that Vincent and Lucas didn't like. The small boy stared at himself in the mirror, not enjoying the look of the frown that stared back. He looked haggard, tired and worn. He supposed the party had taken a lot out of him.

Vincent splashed some water on his face then looked again. His face was now reddened with the water and his hair was tinged with dark wetness. He wasn't totally sure it was better.

The lonely child excused himself to the bathroom. He knew he ought to go back to his mother and the rest of the party, but instead he made his way to a room he'd been to a long time ago. Lucas and he used to hide out in a study off the main hallway on the second floor. Completely frivolous as it was, the room saw little use, but Vincent liked it anyway. Unlike the clean white of the rest of the house, the study was adorned with darker colors and even featured a large fireplace. it had a coziness the rest of the house lacked, or perhaps the change in atmosphere was brought only by the memories of Vincent's time with Lucas there.

"I thought I'd find you here." Lucas' voice shook Vincent from his thoughts and he turned to see the boy. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." Vincent faked yet another smile.

"Sure." Lucas returned a more genuine smile and walked over to lean on the desk next to Vincent. "I haven't seen much of you today."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Lucas shrugged with a tiny smile knitting his lips together. "I see you now."

"Why'd... why'd you leave the party to come here?" Vincent's brows furrowed.

"Like I said, I thought I'd find you here."

"Why were you looking for me?"

"I'm always looking for you."

Vincent let the words hang in the air, considering how to respond.

"But why'd you leave Sydney?"

"I don't know... I'm not sure how long it's going to last... I like her.. I just don't like her, you know? She's been on my nerves a little lately too." Lucas smiled sheepishly. "It's hard when I know she's not what I want."

"Why are you with her if she's not what you want?"

"I can't have what I want... But I think that's okay. Sometimes life is hard, sometimes it's not."

"You.. If you want it, go for it. I've never known you to give up on something you wanted." Vincent said thoughtfully. "Soccer, St. Andrew's School for boys over that damn prep school, everything... you're usually so determined."

"That's you." Lucas chuckled, slumping onto his dad's thick leather deck chair. "Not me."

"I didn't force you to do those things." Vincent frowned. "I'm sorry if it felt like I was trying to influence you."

"No.. you didn't force them on me, but you did influence me."

"Then I'm sorry." Vincent looked down at his hands. "I didn't mean to."

"You've always influenced me... it isn't a bad thing.. but this thing I want, it's different, you know?"

"Not really." Vincent admitted.

"Forcing it would make me a bad person." Lucas titled his head to the side. "If I told you, you'd think I was a bad person."

"You?" Vincent shook his head. "I could never think you're a bad person. You're the friendliest person in the world."

"You say that now." Lucas frowned as if he was deep in thought. "But if you knew, you might change your mind. I think that'd kill me."

"What exactly is it that you want?"

"I didn't mean to confuse you... don't worry about it.. I just think I might end things with Sydney soon, that's all you have to know."

"Lucas." Vincent stood to meet him. "I don't think you're a bad person for wanting to end things with Sydney."

"No... but you think I'm a bad person for being with her?" Lucas narrowed his eyes.

"Of course not." Vincent sighed. "But I don't think you should be with her if you don't like her."

"So you'll stop avoiding me if I break up with her?"

Vincent paused, dumbfounded.

"What?" Vincent stepped back gingerly. "I'm not avoiding you."

"At school, when I come over to your house. You are avoiding me. I must have done something wrong." Lucas reasoned.

"I'm not avoiding you." Vincent lied again. "And don't break up with your girlfriend over me. If you still like her stay with her."

"But you'll keep pushing away then?"

"I'm not using away." Vincent shook his head.

"But you are." Lucas furrowed his brows. "Why won't you just tell me why?"

"I'm not avoiding you! We just don't see each other at school a lot... we're in different grades."

"It's a small school, we've got the same lunch period."

"I'll sit with you tomorrow. I promise." Vincent nodded.

"You will?" Lucas sat down next to Vincent, earning a look up.

"Of course I will." Vincent's green eyes filled with a strange emotion as he eyed Lucas. They were different, he and Lucas. Lucas had grown taller and bigger. Next to him Vincent still felt like he looked like a child. He let his head fall in Lucas' shoulder. "I don't care what you do about Sydney... I'm around you for you." Lucas was so mature, so calm. He wasn't still a slave to his emotions like Vincent, and it made Vincent feel immature.

Lucas looked down in surprise. He hadn't sat in a very comfortable position, but if Vincent was showing affection he wouldn't dare move, not if his life depended on it. His eyes were large with shock as he stared at the boy. How could he be so causal? Lucas' heart was beating a million miles per minute. Could he hear it?

"I'll break up with her." Lucas stated. "I think I always knew it was doomed from the beginning."

Vincent said nothing, but left his head on Lucas' shoulder. If he looked up he would smile. A smile would influence Lucas, and Vincent didn't want that, even if he was pleased with Lucas' decision.

"So... what have you been up to?" Lucas asked, awkwardly after Vincent laid there for a long while. Vincent turned his attention up, and Lucas realized how close the two of their faces were. His breath hitched in his throat.

"Just school." Vincent shrugged casually, arm still flush with Lucas. "You?"

"The same." Lucas frowned. "And Sydney...I should tell Sydney now." Lucas eyed Vincent head still on his shoulders, and his pupils dilated slightly. Never had they been so close, so much like... more than friends. Lucas wanted to push it, throw off any trace of the past and run straight into the fire. "No use putting it off."

"Mhmm... stay a little while longer? I like this time... I like when it's just us." Vincent smiled, finally turning to look at Lucas again. "We should get back into doing this more often. I miss you."

"Me too." Lucas whispered. With Vincent requested him to stay, all thoughts of leaving left Lucas' head. All reason too. "I hope it never changes."

"I wish it could stay like this forever." Vincent smiled wistfully. "But things never do."

"Why not?" Lucas asked.

"We'll meet new people, go to different schools, and get busy... You're special to me though." Vincent promised. "I think you always will be."

"I won't be too busy for you. Will you become to busy for me?"

"I'll try not to."

"Try?" Lucas asked, heart pouncing even faster. "And you wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore if you do?"

"If Lucas." Vincent repeated. "If, and it wouldn't have anything to do with wanting or not wanting."

"Then what are you saying?"

"I don't know?" Vincent asked in an exasperated voice. "I was just saying I hope we don't grow apart, that's all."

"You're saying that because you know we already are." Lucas grumbled.

"No!" Vincent pleaded. "You're reading too much into what I said.. I just-"

"Then why are you ignoring me at school?"

"I'm not!" Vincent exclaimed. "We just have different interests."

"I thought you liked soccer? That's why I started playing."

"Soccer is fine, Lucas. That's not what I meant." Vincent rolled his eyes.

"Then what did you mean?"

"Just that not everything can last for ever." Vincent explained.

"So we can't be friends anymore."

"That is not what I'm saying!" Vincent pulled at his hair. "I still want to be your friend, do you not want to be me mine?"

"Of course I want to be your friend. It's you that's pushing me away." Lucas voice rose. "You're leaving me behind. I don't have anything else."

"Lucas, you have lots of things! Don't talk like-"

"I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life, I'm not good enough." Lucas' breath became to rise higher and higher.

"Lucas, stop it!" Vincent scolded.

"I- don't... I can't even...."

"Calm down."

Lucas' face blurred red and his eyes began to stream tears. His head felt jumbled like a million different things were flying around in a million different directions. He wanted to steady his breath, but he couldn't seem to catch it as it chased him away in a million different directions. He couldn't get himself to calm down.

"Lucas!"

"You're... You're leaving?" Lucas cried. "You're leaving me behind.

"I'm not trying to leave." Vincent pulled at Lucas' shoulder so they were eye to eye. "I don't want to go, so if you don't want me to either, then we'll still be together." Vincent attempted. He knew that wasn't necessarily true, and that any friendship could collapse, even if both parties wanted to continue it onwards.

"You're leaving." Lucas repeated.

"I'm sorry!" Vincent pleaded. "I'm sorry! Stop crying! I'm sorry, I won't go."

"You're leaving!" Lucas practically shouted. His face had turned bright red, and his breath became labored, "But.. But.. you promised.."

"Vincent?" Ms. Chance entered the room, apparently having come to find her son. Upon seeing the two, her face turned to deep cancer. "Were you fighting?"

"We're not fighting... Something's wrong with Lucas." Vincent's voice was laced with heavy panic.

"I can't lose you.. You're all I've got!" Lucas cried out. Vincent was struck with the truth of that. As much as Lucas' family was his, so too was Vincent. They were almost more family to Lucas than his own flesh and blood. Vincent squirmed, regretful he'd ever suggested they might drift apart.

"Lucas." Vincent tried to shake him out of it, but it was no use. "Lucas!" He screamed, but the boy didn't move. "Mom!"

"Lucas can you hear me?" Ms. Chance knelt beside him, but no answer was given. "I'll call his mother."

"You can't leave... You just can't." He mumbled

"I'm not going anywhere." Vincent said, and grabbed the boy's hand repeating it over and over again. The two waited there as the world shifted around them. Suddenly the party invade the study and Ms. Marshall was dragging Lucas up, trying to shake some sense into him. Lucas was given his inhaler and sent to his room. From there the party was over, and everyone went home. Vincent couldn't understand what happened to Lucas. He couldn't understand how he'd turned so quickly. Ms. Marshall assured everyone it was something that sometimes happened to Lucas, and that'd he'd just need to sleep it off, and be better in the morning.

Vincent didn't believe her, but said nothing because he felt like a bad friend for having upset Lucas, and for having never seen Lucas like that before. He thought he knew everything about the boy, but clearly he didn't.

"Lucas will be fine." Ms. Marshall assured him.

Fine wasn't good enough. Not for Lucas.