Chapter 6 Jerks Can Show Concern, Too

My mind suddenly flashed to my dream. God it had been him, I realized for sure as I stared at the lips that had stroked my jaw as I slept. It had done more than that to me in my dreams. Memories of waking up with a painful erection this morning left me no choice but to admit it had done so much more.

Jeez! Hold up a minute. I had known the man a matter of minutes all total and he had been nice for maybe only one of those. Talk about getting ahead of myself.

What was I even thinking?

He had been an antagonistic jerk and now he was showing up at my home. If anything, I should be concerned at his stalker like behavior. What was wrong with me? Why was my dream and my reality blending together in my mind acting as if any of this was acceptable when it was anything but?

"Why are you here?" I suddenly blurted out.

It should have been the first thing out of my mouth when I saw him but he had distracted me. I couldn't let him keep doing that.

He countered with a question of his own.

"Why do you have panic attacks?"

I was taken aback by the frankness of the question. Weren't people more circumspect about butting into people's personal lives? But then again, it was this guy doing the asking. Common courtesy should be the one thing I shouldn't expect from him.

Why was he asking to begin with? I looked at his face, brought up short by the look in his eyes. Why did he look so concerned? For me?

The worry surprised me and I found myself answering before I could stop myself.

"It just happens sometimes," I said with a shrug.

"I don't like it," he replied with a serious face.

Surprising myself, I smiled. Well for a second, I did. His expression tightened even more at my look of amusement and I could tell I had somehow insulted him. That made me feel uncomfortable again so I clamped my lips together and stopped.

I couldn't help but be surprised, though. He didn't seem the type to care, especially about a stranger. I guess jerks can show concern, too.

Having been sidetracked yet again and feeling the need to say something into the tense silence I spoke.

"You never did answer my question. Why are you here?"

It was his turn to shrug. "I told you, you work for me."

"So?" I asked. "I've worked for the company for about eight years in some capacity or other. Which means I have been working directly for you," I said pointing my finger at him, "About two of those years since that's when your father retired. I never had a visit to my house from you or anyone but Mr. Jones in all that time. So, I repeat. Why are you here? And on a Saturday?"

He eyed me with a frown. I frowned back. That was actually an easy thing for me to do for a change. When it came to frowning, I was in my element. It was the smiling, socializing, happy-happy chitchat that I didn't excel at.

"You don't work a regular nine to five. So, it being Saturday shouldn't make a difference. And like you said, I'm in charge now. If I want to change things up that's my prerogative. If I want to make a personal visit to an employee who handles very sensitive financial information why can't I? Especially," he paused, eyeing me up and down.

His look activated in my body that dreaded zinging current I now associated only with him. I suppressed the involuntary shivers that were begging to run rampant in the various nerve endings throughout my frame. It was a battle I won... barely.

I focused my attention back on Pierce as he finished talking and my jaw dropped as his words penetrated passed the fog my internal struggle had created.

"Especially when I see that employee making questionable personal choices. Choices that can impact my company and my personal bottom line," he summed up, leaving me speechless.

His hands were on his hips as he stared at me with that arrogant expression reminiscent of last night. I opened my mouth to respond but shut it again when the words wouldn't come. The man had floored me, yet again. For the life of me I didn't know how to reply.

Questionable choices?

"Huh!" I scoffed.

I guess I had found my starting point.

I glanced over to see that Cissero was still occupied by his new friend. Though I wanted nothing more than to march over there to take back possession of my dog I figured I'd better tackle the six-foot two sack of crap before I did.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" I asked.

"Don't use that kind of language," was his reply, flooring me still. "It doesn't suit you," he added as if talking to a twenty-six-year-old man as if he were a ten-year-old was common.

Then again, with this man it very well could be.

"Who..." I paused for dramatic effect, "the fuck do you think you are?" I repeated.

I couldn't ever remember a time when I had been this angry. The funny thing I was learning about anger though, the angrier I was the less anxious I became and the words were shooting out of my mouth faster than I could think. Anger evidently cured stuttering. Who would have known?

I couldn't celebrate my new discovery for long, though as Pierce took a long step toward me. I stepped back in defense. My anger levels dropped as my anxiety increased at his sudden forceful frontal approach.

"And I said," he enunciated through gritted teeth, "don't talk like that!"

I was dumbfounded by the direction our conversation had turned. Evidently, he had a real aversion to cussing. I, who didn't cuss near the amount as the guys did, couldn't believe I was making a stand over being able to say words now, that I hardly ever used to begin with.

I felt like I was starting to behave like that ten-year-old.

I had let my anger take hold. No actually, it had done it all on its own. Pierce Lucciano was a right pain to deal with. He not only messed with my body but my mind and my emotions. It was as infuriating as it was worrisome.

I took a few deep breaths and stepped back away from Pierce. He was still invading my personal space. My tummy was churning and I felt a bit jittery. As I hadn't eaten anything and I was just a few minutes out from having had a panic attack I knew I needed to calm down. I was going to make myself sick if I wasn't careful. That was the last thing I needed.

"Do you really not trust me?" I asked suddenly into the pulsing silence.

I think that was what I was most upset about. His snarky, 'questionable choices' was really getting to me. I hadn't done anything wrong and yet he was questioning my professional integrity. There wasn't much about me that screamed wow, except for my work. His questioning that now was a low blow.

I watched as Pierce frowned.

"With my work," I clarified. I didn't want to talk about the other stuff he thought I got up to. It wasn't his business. Whether I was gay, whether I was shared, I shuddered even trying to imagine that, it was all none of his business. But my work was. I couldn't dispute that. I needed to know that he still felt me capable of performing my job.

"Are you about to have another panic attack?" he asked, thwarting my attempts again to get any sort of answer out if him.

I shook my head no. "I don't think so," I murmured.

His lack of answering, my lack of food, his jerkiness, my complete high of anger dissipating in seconds were all combining together leaving me feeling rather flat. And uneasy.

"You don't think so?" he asked running his hand through his hair in frustration.

I sighed. "I'm pretty sure if you left, I would start feeling better," I said, trying to hide the hopefulness from my voice.

Pierce chuckled. My eyes shot to his face in surprise. His chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh that changed the dower faced man completely. With the smile on his face he looked approachable even happy. His crystal blue eyes seemed lighter and he had a dimple in his left cheek that strangely made me want to lift my finger up and touch.

I took a step back.

"Did you say you hadn't eaten?" he asked after his laughter faded, though a soft smile still teased the corners of his lips.

I couldn't help but appreciate the beauty of his face as it looked at me for the first time with friendly concern and a smile that actually touched his eyes. I felt something tug at me from inside.

I gnawed at my lower lip again and shied away in my mind. I felt like a rubber ball around him, bouncing from one emotion to the next with just one toss of his hand. It was disconcerting.

"Have you?" he prompted.

I shook my head no and looked down at my feet. So much for being cured, I mocked myself. My nervous anxiousness had returned in leaps in bounds. Pierce knocked me off kilter and the more time I spent with him the worse it seemed to get.

"They or he can't even be bothered to feed you after keeping you out all night?" he growled, his lovely smile disappearing as he once again frowned at me in irritation.

I looked back up at him in confusion. What was he on about now? It took me a second but I figured it out and my rubber ball emotions bounced yet again.

"Why do you keep saying things like that?" I asked but this time the question was quietly asked. I didn't seem to have the energy to show my anger though it sat their deep in my gut.

"Because you didn't deny it," he muttered.

"Why should I have to?" I asked.

"Because if it wasn't true, wouldn't that be your natural inclination? And since it wasn't doesn't that pretty much imply it is?"

"Your mind works weird," I finally answered after running his asinine theory through my head.

"It works quite well, thank you," he replied.

I shook my head. "If it did oh wise one, then why couldn't you reason out for yourself that most people don't feel the need to defend themselves against such outrageous allegations? Silence is the best response when accused of nonsense."

"And is it?" he asked quietly. "Nonsense?"

"You just don't stop," I muttered rubbing my forehead with my hand. I was starting to feel a bit funny and I just wanted this conversation to end. "They are my friends," I sighed out tiredly. "That's all!"

"Who did you stay with last night?" he shot back and I groaned.

"You're ridiculous, you know?" I asked before answering. "Because of you showing up outside the club last night waiting for me you spooked the guys and they insisted I had to stay with one of them last night instead of getting to come home."

"Who did you stay with?" he asked again.

I shook my head. "Would you even know who I was talking about if I told you?" I retorted. "It was a friend. No more, no less," I groused, completely fed up with his line of questioning.

I rubbed at my forehead again. Suddenly my flesh broke out in a cold sweat as black dots appeared before my eyes. I blinked several times trying to make the flecks in my vision disappear but they wouldn't. They in fact, were multiplying at a rapid rate and I blinked and blinked again as heat whooshed up my body and I suddenly felt light and floaty.

My eyes closing, I abruptly sank like a stone to the ground, landing at Pierce Lucciano's feet.