Chapter 17 Shoulder To Lean On

Archer and I walked into my living room late Friday night. Cissero greeted us with his usual exuberant self. Archer hugged and loved on him as I walked into the living room and flopped down tiredly onto the couch. We had just come from the wedding rehearsal and dinner. I was exhausted.

The rehearsal and dinner itself hadn't required much from me. That wasn't why I sat here now with my head back against the cushion and staring blankly at the ceiling. No, it had been the socializing required during the dinner that left my mind numb.

It felt as if several musical jolly chimps had clanged their horrid cymbals repeatedly in my ears. It was the same sensation you got when you left a concert, only concerts were fun. As much as I love Archer, I can't really say his wedding rehearsal could classify as the same.

My cheeks had been pinched by so many elderly people I had wanted to leave. Archer and Percy had arranged the seating so we all were together. Being me amongst the five of them when introductions were made, comparisons naturally got made. My sore cheeks were paying the price for my being baby faced and vertically challenged.

Branson and Noah had enjoyed my discomfiture. Mick had been suitably understanding. I hadn't said a word though, not wanting to rain on Archer and Percy's party. I had instead smiled until it hurt. By the end of the gathering my cheeks hurt from the inside out.

Archer, with a giddy boxer following close behind, walked over to the sofa opposite me and sank down. He sighed aloud. It sounded tired but happy. I opened my eyes to look at him. His eyes were closed but a large smiled stretched his face. Without realizing it my mouth copied his.

Archer opened his and looked at me, his umber colored orbs widening at me in surprise. I raised my brows at him only then recognizing the beaming grin decorating my face. My smile faltered, slipped, and then disappeared completely as I blushed.

"Oh no!" Archer exclaimed, quickly closing the distance between us to plunk down beside me and grab my hand turning me towards him. "No, no, no, no, no!" he uttered shaking his head with a determined look on his face.

I cocked my head and frowned slightly back at him and his reaction.

Archer grinned down at me.

"I opened my eyes but it was like I was still dreaming! When I opened them and saw you beaming at me instead of giving me that typical small Jackson smile you give everyone, everywhere, every day I knew it couldn't be real, but I knew I wasn't when I saw it disappear. Now I want it back!"

Archer had placed his hands on my shoulders as he spoke and was now mock shaking me by them. He was cajoling me and harassing me and all but bouncing me around demanding his smile.

Without meaning to, I did. And more. I started giggling and then laughing, the large man literally shaking the unusual sound from my mouth.

Archer started laughing as well while my dog jumped around us wanting to play, too. Archer stopped his shaking but he didn't let go of my shoulders. Both of our laughter finally died down. I still had what felt like a silly grin plastered on my face while Archer's look became more thoughtful.

It made me blush.

"Something is different about you," he finally commented.

His eyes traveled over me from head to toe then. He gave me a thorough inspection that made my blush deepen. It wasn't sexual. It was more personal than that.

"I noticed you did better at dinner tonight but I knew you were trying really hard for me but just now," he grinned down at me. "Just now you had this genuinely lovely smile on your face that brightened those almond eyes of yours in a way I have never seen."

Archer's eyes roamed over my face. I knew he was seeing my pale but oddly creamy skin tone, the gift or curse from my dual heritage. He also saw almond eyes the color of brown which were average, lips that were pinkly average, a nose that was... average. The final result, a very average looking man with a good but boyish complexion. Nothing to write home about.

My mind for a split second flashed to Pierce and his words. 'Far from average' he had said about me. I just didn't see it.

"Why are you frowning now?" Archer asked, breaking into my thoughts.

He let go of my shoulder and absently pet Cissero's neck as his eyes once again roamed my face. I could tell he was putting two and two together which would lead to four and ultimately to an infinite number of questions being asked.

I debated on staying silent. It was my go-to move. Archer was used to my not sharing because I usually didn't have anything to share. He wouldn't be surprised if I shrugged his question off.

Only now I did. I had a lot to say. It started with Pierce and pretty much ended up there, too.

I looked at Archer and suddenly wanted to talk. I had the desire to share my inner self in a way I usually didn't. I typically kept my own council though I was always willing to lend my ear to my friends. For the first time I wanted to be the one talking.

I so longed for a friendly and hopefully helpful ear to listen considering I was completely out of my element with anything Pierce related. And it was all Pierce related.

Still it felt awkward. I wasn't sure how to start or even if I should, considering this was Archer's wedding-eve so to speak. Was it fair of me to put the focus on myself? Even as I thought the question, I knew immediately it wasn't. We should be discussing whatever Archer wanted or needed to talk about. I could wait.

I smoothed out my frown and replaced it with old school Jackson. If I maintained it for the rest of the night then Archer would not feel compelled to look closer and then we could focus on what was important right now. Archer.

Only Archer wasn't having any of it. He made it clear as soon as my face slipped back into its familiar expression, that he had other ideas.

"I've seen a new you Jackson so don't even try to pretend. We're going to sit here until you tell me everything... and I mean everything," he emphasized with a snap of his fingers and swipe of his arm across the space that divided us.

"And I'm getting married tomorrow so if you keep me up all night being uncooperative, I'll tell Perky it was your fault why my eyes are so puffy for our wedding pictures!" he threatened for added measure.

I swallowed. That was a serious threat. Any threat that included action from Percy was serious. He was more lighthearted than all of us. He was also the toughest. No one but no one wanted on Percy's bad side. Ever.

"That's low, Archer."

Archer grinned.

"Only if you don't talk," Archer replied with a laugh and carefree shrug of his shoulders.

He could afford to be carefree. He was marrying Percy. I on the other hand was not. Though Percy had a soft spot for me, I knew if Archer did everything he threatened, Percy would be irritated. Not for ruining the pictures though. He would be mad I hadn't confided in Archer.

I sighed but not in frustration. I really did want to talk. I just hated focusing on me, tonight of all nights. It felt selfish. I said that out loud.

"Please do us both a favor and be selfish," was the response I got.

I looked back at Archer in surprise. It was a funny thing for him to have said and I didn't completely understand.

"You have never been selfish Jackson. Not once that I can think of in all of these years. Noah needs something and you're there lending your ear, your heart, your hands. Branson asks for a favor and you don't hesitate. Mick makes a request and you bend over backward to make it happen even when it puts you outside your comfort zone. As for me, I cannot even count the number of times you have given me your unconditional love and support. And you do it all selflessly. You don't ask for or ever expect anything back from any of us. So please..." Archer said looking down on me with an earnest expression, "please be selfish just this once. We can call it a wedding gift."

"I already got you something," I mumbled feeling shy by his long speech. He made me sound like a saint and I wasn't. These guys gave me so much. What I did was nothing in comparison.

"What I said is true, Jackson," Archer spoke as if he could read my mind. "The guys and I have even talked about it a time or two. You are selfless with us. Pretty much the definition of true friendship. I'm blessed to have you in my life and the others feel the same. If you don't believe me, we can call them."

I blushed again. His words rang with sincerity. It was embarrassing and a little awkward but more than anything it was rewarding which seemed an odd word choice since I didn't do any of those things expecting something in return. I did because I wanted to. I did because I simply couldn't imagine not.

"Look Jackson," Archer said, drawing my attention to his hand that was first patting his broad shoulder before switching to the other one and patting it also. "You pick which shoulder to lean on. They are both free, ready, and able."

Feeling shy but also somewhat eager to talk I pointed my finger to Archer's closest shoulder to me, his left.

Archer burst out laughing, pleased by my silent show of humor.

"Okay, big boy," he said, giving his best Percy imitation. "Tell me all about it!"

Archer sat back on the couch beside me and patted his shoulder in welcome. I stared for a second. Cuddling wasn't something I did. Touch, as everyone knew, wasn't my thing. But for the first time I could see the appeal in it.

Tentatively, I turned and lifted my hips up enough to push back into the cushion, to push back until I found my back tucked into the vee of Archer's torso and arm. I wiggled a few times, trying to get comfortable. It was an odd feeling snuggling back into someone else. Archer's draped arm over my shoulder felt odd, too. But it wasn't bad. It wasn't uncomfortable.

As he breathed and I breathed I had to admit it was kind of comfy.

I didn't realize Archer had gone as quiet as me. I glanced up at him from under his chin. He was staring off in front of him but looked down when he felt my movement. His eyes met mine.

"This is more serious than I realized," he commented quietly as his eyes swept over my body reclining only slightly stiffly along his.

"I knew something was different tonight. Not big things, just little nuances only recognizable to someone who knows you well. Even Mick said something to me," Archer told me, surprising me.

I knew I felt different inside. I had been since meeting Pierce. I felt connected to life. It sounded silly but it was the best way to describe how I felt. Never one to be inquisitive or curious of anything personal or of an intimate nature I now found I was. It was disconcerting as much as it was exciting.

And then there was Pierce himself. He was overwhelming to me. He was a puzzle. He was interesting and aggravating, attractive but at times repellent. He confused me and drew me. He was a huge new question mark in my life.

How did I actually go about explaining all that to Archer when I had trouble explaining it to myself?