05. morgan

I always found peace in walking to school by myself. It felt refreshing in a way. The way the air smells like vanilla when I'm chewing gum, my hair blowing from the slight breeze in the air. I always love to have my earbuds playing music on my way there. Well I mean, I always love to have my earbuds in. I listen to all kinds of singers, Taylor Swift, Arctic Monkeys, Tyler, The Creator, Drake, and the list goes on.

How much I needed my earbuds today.

I left them at home this morning since they were charging, thinking I could go a day at school without them. I made a mistake doing that.

Rumours flooded the halls, the bathrooms, and the classrooms. You couldn't help but listen into what everybody was talking about.

"She cheated on him too? I just thought that they stopped talking."

"Matt deserves better."

"Ugh I always knew she was annoying."

What was going on?

I left school as fast as I could. I did not want to be there for one more second surrounded by people obsessing over the boy that I kissed.

As soon as I got home, I turned on my playlist and hopped into the shower. I needed to clear my head. My life has gotten interesting. I have felt trapped in a cycle recently, every day the same as the other. Wake up, brush my teeth, eat breakfast, school, get home, dinner, sleep. When something interesting happens in my life, it feels like more things happen in the days. Sometimes things that are interesting get crazy, and when that happens, music calms me down. I let the hot water

I get changed downstairs. I look in the fridge and there's not much. I turn on my phone for the first time in an hour and open the food delivery app.

"Mike, what do you want for dinner?" I yell upstairs to my little brother.

"Can we get pizza?" He replies.

"Sure, do you want cheese or pepperoni?"

"Pepperoni."

"Okay." I choose the pizza category and select our favourite pizza place. I order a large pepperoni pizza and some garlic bread. While waiting for the pizza, I cut up some vegetables.

Then the phone rings.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hey Morgan, have you checked Instagram recently?" Isabelle asks. Isabelle is one of my friends that I met in middle school. She doesn't go to my high school, so I always make sure to catch up with her every now and then.

"No, why?"

"There's this photo of Matthew Graham kissing someone and I'm not sure if it's you, but..."

Her voice trails off. My stomach drops and I look at the wall as though I am reading right through it. My hand takes the phone away from my ear as I wonder if I am just dreaming.

"What's the account?" I interrupt, putting the phone back to my ear.

"Oh, so it is you?" She asks, I can tell she's smiling at her screen.

"Yeah, it's a long story. What is it?"

She tells me the account and I open my Instagram faster than I ever have. I saw in my peripheral vision the 23 new follow requests and 13 tags. I ignore them and search up the account.

Shock and regret fills my body to the maximum as I see the message and the photo.

"Hey, Morgan? You still there?" Isabelle asks.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just, I just don't know what to say."

"It's okay, I understand. Has Hailey seen it?"

I gasp and my stomach drops a second time. I feel like I'm about to start crying and I might throw up.

"No. Izzy, you cannot tell Hailey that's me in the photo. That was a mistake. I did not mean to kiss him."

I quickly report the post, saying that it's me and I do not want it online.

A FaceTime request slides onto my phone.

It's Hailey.

I mutter a swear word under my breath and then realize that I'm still on the phone with Izzy.

"You okay?" She asks me, concern filling her voice.

"Yeah, listen. Can I call you back later?"

"Yeah for sure. You don't need to call if you're busy."

"Okay, thanks Izzy. Love you."

"Love you too."

I take a deep breath and pick up the FaceTime.

"Hey Morgan, Want to come over?" Hailey asks. She sounded bored.

A sigh of relief escapes. She must not know yet.

"Yeah, sure. I ordered pizza though, so I can eat that quickly and then come over, or you can come over and have some pizza with me."

"Oh, okay. I'll come over then."

"Okay, see you then."

"See you."

And she hangs up.

I realize shortly after that I haven't talked to Matthew about this. I didn't really want to. If he wanted to talk to me about it, he would have. It made me slightly upset that he did not want to talk about it. I wonder if he even did anything to take the post down.

That thought leaves my head when Hailey knocks at my door. Even though I have this secret that I am keeping from her, it is nice to have her around. Even if she does not know, her presence makes nothing else matter.

"Hi. The pizza's not here yet." I say.

"That's fine. We can go to your room for now instead."

We walk up to my room and we sit on my bed. Hailey goes on her phone and responds to her text messages while i stare at my nails.

"Do you think I should get longer nails than last time or shorter?" I ask.

"Hmm, I'm thinking longer."

"Yeah me too. I just don't know what style to choose."

"I always like to go with a light purple. It looks good with almost everything."

"Is purple my colour though?"

She sits up and holds my hands, looking at my nails. After about 30 seconds of looking, she responds.

"Yes, definitely. It looks so nice with brown hair. You're so lucky you have such nice hair." She says as she twirls my hair.

"What do you mean? Your hair is nice too!" I respond, laughing.

"Yeah, but I've just not been feeling the blonde recently." Hailey has always had dirty blonde hair with cute little waves in them. It's different compared to Matthew, who has light brunette hair.

"It's nice Hail, trust me." I say as she tucks her hair behind her ears, like how she always had it when we were younger.

She goes back on her phone and so do I. I have forgotten all about the photo at this point. That's what Hailey does to me. I never have to feel stressed around her, that's what makes her such a real friend.

"Hey have you been getting a ton of tags on Instagram today?" Hailey asks.

The stress returns.

"Oh, no," I lie, "why?"

"I don't know. There have just been a bunch of people tagging me in comments. I've ignored them though, but I'm kind of curious at this point." She looks at me, scrunching her nose while smiling.

"Oh, do you know what they're for?" I try to giggle, but it comes out as a nervous laugh.

"No, do you want to check with me?"

One part of me really wants to check. The other part really wants Hailey to give her phone back to the store and never take it back.

"Hailey, you okay?" She asks.

"Oh, yeah sorry." I say, snapping out of my daydream and into reality.

"So, do you?" She says, impatiently waiting for my response. She probably would check anyways, so it didn't matter if I responded at all.

"Sure." I say, and she rolls beside me, turning her phone on.

I read her phone. 22 tags.

Hailey has never been that popular. Well, Matt is, but she never was. Yes, she was known by people, and she knew them, but she always was quieter compared to her brother. Not with me though. To me, she's the loudest person I know.

I read some of the comments.

"Hailey you have to see this!"

"She looks like Hailey's friend."

"Didn't your brother just break up with Kaitlyn?"

I knew exactly what I was getting myself into.

I debated stopping her. Telling her that the pizza is arriving soon. But I didn't. I tried to say something, but the words did not come out. I just stood there, shocked. I watched as she clicked on the post that she was tagged in.

Post was removed.

"Huh. It seems to involve my brother. I'll just ask him when I get home."

I felt so much relief. It seems as though my report worked. I never felt that nervous around Hailey. I knew that if she saw that photo, she would know immediately that it was me. I wanted to tell her eventually, I did not want to keep me and Matt a secret from her, but it just was too early.

My phone buzzes.

"The pizza's here." I say to Hailey, who rolled back onto her side of my bed.