: Chapter 18

I stand in front of Breaker’s apartment door, my clit still throbbing after what he did to me, unsure if I should knock or simply walk in.

Normally, I’d just walk in, but after the past twenty-four hours, I’m not sure what I should be doing now.

Breaker went down on me.

He not only went down on me, but he made it seem like I was his Thanksgiving feast and he was starving. Never in my life have I felt such euphoric pleasure, and that was with his tongue. And he asked for nothing in return. Just took what he wanted and left.

I have no idea how to process it all.

And even though I want to hide away in my apartment because I don’t know how to act, there’s no way he’d allow that. Also, I want answers. I want to know what’s going on.

So I grip the door handle and walk into his apartment to find him sitting on his couch. His hair is wet now, and he’s wearing a different pair of shorts, but that’s it, just shorts.

I’ve seen him with his shirt off plenty of times, but he normally has a shirt on whenever we hang out. Not sure what changed today, but I’m not going to complain. He’s so handsome . . . sexy, with his carved pecs and his strong, muscular arms. Not to mention the stack of abs he has for a stomach and the deep V that’s sculpted into his hips. He’s so good-looking that I’ve told myself through all these years never to look because he was my friend, but now . . . now I’m allowing it.

“There you are,” he says in a jovial tone, as if he didn’t just have his head between my legs. “I ordered Thai. Should be here in twenty. How do you feel about playing Codenames? We haven’t played that in a bit.”

I stand there, stunned.

Because the man who I’m staring at right now is very different from the man who was just gripping my throat, telling me I was a good girl for listening to him. The man in front of me is my best friend. The guy I’ve grown comfortable with, the man I’ve relied on for so long. But the man from ten minutes ago, he’s . . . he’s on another level, and I don’t know how to handle it.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Uh . . . not really,” I say as I cross my arms. “I’m just a touch confused.”

He pats the couch. “Come talk to me.”

I hold up my hand. “I think I’ll stand here, thank you.”

“Okay.” When he smiles, I can see in his eyes that he knows exactly what he’s doing. “You can talk there. What’s up, Lia?”

Lia . . .

Lia?

Just so casual. Totally neglecting the fact that he dominated me in my own bedroom while using my full name and commanding my body to do things I’ve never done.

“What’s up?” I ask, my voice rising. “How about the fact that you’re my best friend but just made me come so hard that I’m not sure if my clit is still attached.”

He chuckles and says, “Trust me, it is. But if you want me to check, I don’t mind going down there again. This time, though, I’d prefer you sit on my face.”

“Breaker,” I shriek before covering my eyes.

“What?” He laughs.

“We don’t say those things to each other or do those things . . .”

“You might not, but I do now.” He lifts from the couch. “Want something to drink?”

I watch him casually move around his apartment, grabbing a cup, filling it with ice, and then pouring a Gatorade into it.

When I don’t answer him, he grabs another cup, fills it with ice, and tops it off with the rest of the Gatorade. Eyes on me, he brings the drink over and offers it to me.

For some reason, my body registers just how close he is, how much taller he is than me, how much more muscular . . .

My internal body temperature spikes all over again.

“Here,” he says softly.

“I didn’t say I wanted a drink.”

“After all the panting you just did in your bedroom, you’re going to want the electrolytes.” He smirks, and I needle him in the stomach, causing him to laugh.

I take the drink from him and follow him into the living room, where I sit on the opposite side of the couch.

“Trying to keep your hands to yourself?” he asks. “I get it.”

“No, I’m trying to keep you away.”

“If that were the case, you wouldn’t have come over here.”

“As if you would have allowed me to stay at my apartment,” I scoff before taking a drink of the lime Gatorade. Ugh, that’s refreshing. I really did pant a lot. My mouth feels dry.

“I would have if that’s what you needed, but clearly, by you being here, you needed . . . me.” He smirks again and sips from his glass.

“Umm, arrogant much?”

“Nah, just telling it like it is.”

“Then tell me this, what the hell are you doing?”

He glances down at himself, taking in his person, and then back at me. “Looks like I’m enjoying a cool drink with my friend. What are you doing?”

“Stop playing around,” I say. “Tell me what’s going on? Are we . . . are we friends with benefits or something? Because that never works out. Trust me.”

“Do you think we’re friends with benefits?” he asks, staying as elusive as ever.

“No. I think we’re friends, and one of us has lost our mind.”

“It’s okay,” he says, winking. “I’m sure you’ll get your head on straight again soon.”

I grind my teeth together. “I was talking about you. You’re the one who’s lost his mind.”

He scratches the side of his head as he says, “Huh, odd. I don’t feel like I have. I feel pretty normal actually.”

“Oh my God, Breaker,” I shout. “You’re starting to make me mad.”

“I can sense that. How can I make you less mad?”

“By telling me what the hell is going on? I mean . . . do you like me or something?” The question sounds so childish coming off my lips that I hate myself for asking.

“I’ve always liked you, Lia,” he answers.

“I mean . . . romantically.”

“Well.” He rubs his jaw with his hand. “Let’s see. I think you’re incredibly hot. You taste like fucking candy. Your tits will forever live in my dreams, and I can’t wait to have your legs wrapped around my head, so take that as you will.” He smiles and then leans toward the coffee table to organize the game.

And I let that sink in.

Not sure I’d ever have thought Breaker would say something like that to me.

Never thought he’d ever touch me the way he has.

But the way he answered me, not actually saying he likes me romantically, more what he likes about me, puts me on edge.

“I’m not just someone you can fuck around with,” I say before I can stop myself.

He pauses and turns so our eyes meet. “You think I’d do that to you?” he asks, his voice growing darker.

“I don’t know, Breaker. It feels like I’m just a toy at the moment.”

He pushes back, then turns his body toward me. “That’s insulting, Lia. Do you really think I’d treat our friendship so cheaply?”

No.

I think he takes our friendship very seriously.

“Then what is it?”

“How about you stop trying to label things and just enjoy? I know what I’m doing.”

“Would be great to let me know what that is.”

He turns back toward the coffee table and shuffles some cards before saying, “Let me worry about it. You just sit back and relax.”

He cuts the conversation off with that.

The rest of the night, we eat Thai food, play Codenames, joke around, and don’t speak about what we’ve done. When it’s time for bed, he walks me back to my apartment, and when I think he’s going to kiss me, he pulls me into a hug and kisses the top of my head.

When we’re in bed, he knocks on the wall four times, and with an uneasy feeling in my chest, I knock back three.

“LOOK AT THIS MULTICOLORED YARN,” Lottie says. “And it has glitter in it.”

“Oh wow, that’s nice,” I say while the girls show me all the supplies they bought for our first knitting club gathering.

After the whole towel and going down on me situation, I texted the girls and asked them if they wanted to meet up, and luckily, they were free the next day. They think they’re going to learn how to knit, when in fact, I have ulterior motives. I need to figure out what’s going on with Breaker so I know how to approach it. Him.

“I got just plain red,” Myla says, looking defeated. “I didn’t know we were allowed to get a glitter yarn.”

“You live and you learn,” Lottie says with a smirk while Kelsey sits in our circle after stepping out to answer a call.

“Okay, sorry about that. JP thought we were going out to dinner tonight, and I had to remind him that’s tomorrow.”

“Where are you two going?” Myla asks.

“To this new sushi place that he’s been wanting to go to for a while.”

“Is it Nori?” Lottie asks.

“Yes. Did Huxley take you?”

“Last week,” Lottie answers. “It’s so good.” She then turns to me and says, “Are you a big sushi fan?”

“I love it. Breaker and I used to get it all the time in college. There was a place downtown that wasn’t too pricey, but it was amazing.”

“Speaking of Breaker,” Lottie says with a smile. “I heard through the grapevine that he’s been making a move.”

The grapevine being her husband.

“What?” Kelsey says. “JP didn’t say anything to me.”

“That’s shocking,” Lottie says as she leans over and picks up one of the cookies I made for tonight. “He’s a bigger gossip than Hux.”

“I even heard a whispering of something,” Myla said. “But my husband and his brother can’t keep anything to themselves, and Breaker hangs out with Banner enough for there to be a leak between them.” Myla looks up at me. “So, is it true?”

With all eyes on me, I know this is what I wanted, but it doesn’t make it easier, just makes the conversation flow better.

“Uh, yeah, he did.”

The girls all clap and cheer, but it all feels so weird.

“That boy has had it really bad for you,” Lottie says. “God, I’m so glad he finally did something about it. How was it?”

I pause and tilt my head to the side. “He’s had it bad for me?” I ask, confused.

Lottie glances at Kelsey and then back at me. “I mean . . . what?” She blinks a few times.

“You said he has it bad for me. What do you mean?”

“Uh, I don’t think I said that, right, Kelsey? I didn’t say that.”

“Yeah, I don’t think she said that.”

“That’s what I heard,” Myla says with a smirk, and when the sisters look her way, she just shrugs. “Listen, we’re here for a reason. These men of ours often have the upper hand, and any advantage we can have over them, the better, so we might as well be truthful with her. Yes, Breaker has had it bad for you.”

“He didn’t say that to you?” Lottie asks, looking guilty.

“No, he didn’t. He wouldn’t say anything really, other than he knows what he’s doing.”

“Of course he does,” Kelsey says with an eye roll. “All the Cane brothers know what they’re doing and we are mere pawns in their plans.”

“Oh stop,” Lottie says. “I don’t see any of us complaining about the orgasms. Which by the way, you didn’t answer me. Was it good?”

I press my lips together and nod. “Yeah, it was spectacular. Like . . . unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.”

“It always is,” Kelsey says while leaning back in her chair. “I swear these men have some sort of secret society where they learn how to precisely play with a woman so they’re ruined for any other man.”

“It’s true,” Myla says. “Ryot has always been able to control my body, rendering it useless.”

“Huxley is the same. I hated him so much when we first met, but somehow, he kept me around by using just his fingers.”

“Breaker used his tongue,” I say, skipping over the dry humping because I just don’t think that’s something I can get into. “But he started it by ‘helping me dry off from the shower.’” I use air quotes, causing the girls to laugh. “And before I knew what was happening, he had me pressed against my apartment window, completely naked, and was going down on me.”

“God, that’s so hot,” Lottie says. “I love when Huxley fucks me against a window. It feels so naughty.”

“So it was magnificent then,” Kelsey says. When I nod, she adds, “Then why do I sense some hesitation?”

“Two reasons,” I say. “For one, I literally just broke up with my fiancé and called off my wedding. I think it makes me look incredibly slutty.”

“I don’t think so,” Myla says. “I think it’s just you figuring out what you want, and that’s important.”

“I agree,” Kelsey says.

“Me too. What’s the second reason?” Lottie asks.

“It’s Breaker. He’s everything to me, and even though when we’re in the moment, when he’s touching me, making me feel things I’ve never felt before, I can’t help but worry. What happens if this doesn’t work out? What if something goes wrong? What if he gets bored of me and moves on? It’s weird now when he’s intimate, it’s going to be so much weirder if I get attached and he decides to move on.”

“Not going to happen.” Lottie shakes her head. “Breaker would never.”

“But he’s never had a true relationship before,” I say.

“Because he’s had you,” Kelsey says. “Because you’ve been everything he’s ever needed, and now that he’s figured that out, he’s trying to take things to the next level.”

“But . . . he hasn’t kissed me. He’s just given me orgasms.”

Lottie and Kelsey pause as they exchange glances. Myla and I both look confused as Lottie shakes her head. “Oh no.”

“Oh no, what?” I ask.

Kelsey winces. “We know exactly what he’s doing.”

“What?” I ask, growing anxious.

“He has a plan, a meticulous plan to make you fall for him,” Lottie says.

“It’s true.” Kelsey nods. “The Cane brothers, well, they’re something else. When they have their mind set on something, they make it happen their way. Meaning, he hasn’t kissed you because he’s waiting for the perfect moment.”

Lottie nods. “Yup. The first kiss means something to him, so he’s saving it.”

“And going down on me means nothing?” I ask.

Kelsey and Lottie think on it just as Myla chimes in. “Have you guys ever been intimate before in your friendship?”

“Never,” I answer.

She nods. “Then this is him probably showing you that it can be normal.”

“Ah, yes,” Kelsey seconds. “God, that would so be something one of them would do. Think about the amount of times JP teased me before we actually had sex. Or you and Huxley. It’s their MO. It’s what they do. They turn you into putty until you can’t do anything other than follow them around, waiting for their next move.”

“Facts,” Lottie says. “The first time Huxley touched me was my last first—that’s how powerful it was. Did it feel like that to you?”

I think back to my bedroom—not to when we were drunk—but to when he was pinning me against the window because we were both very much aware of what was happening.

“It felt . . . it felt like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It was as if I was just a mere instrument to him, and he knew exactly how to play me. I mean, I let him hold me by the throat. I let him put me into positions I never would have in the past, and I was convinced only by his touch, by his voice.”

Kelsey and Lottie nod. “Yup, he’s playing his cards with you,” Lottie says.

“So what do I do?” I ask.

“Nothing,” Kelsey answers. “There’s absolutely nothing you can do. You can try to fight it, but I don’t think it’ll do much.”

“I might be overstepping a bit,” Myla says, “but it almost seems like you might have the same feelings about him. Am I right?”

“I’ve never truly thought about it,” I say. “I always just considered him my friend. But this past week or so, it’s been different. He’s looked at me differently. He’s told me how beautiful I am. He’s said it before, but this was . . . it was as if he meant it from a different place. And then he started touching me lightly, here and there. Like this night when I felt really sad about losing my parents and asked him to hold me. We were in his bed, and nothing happened, but his hand did wander along my hip. I didn’t think much of it then, but after the night we got drunk—”

“Whoa.” Lottie holds up her hand. “What happened the night you got drunk?”

“I’m surprised your husbands didn’t tell you.” I set my yarn down, completely neglecting the knitting premise now. “It was the day I broke things off with Brian. Breaker and I went to celebrate, and we both got drunk and went to bed. We were playfully fighting over his pillow, and then he cuddled into me. I asked him if that was how he would hold his girlfriend, and he said no and then proceeded to show me exactly how he would touch his girlfriend.”

“And how did he show you?” Myla asks, sitting on the edge of her seat.

My cheeks heat just thinking about that night. “With teasing touches. He’d slowly move his hand to just below my breasts and then slip his hand past the waistband of my shorts.”

“Oh dear God.” Kelsey fans herself. “Did the teasing lead to anything?”

I bite my bottom lip. “I, uh, I ended up dry-humping him to completion.”

“Both of you?” Lottie asks, and I nod. “Well . . . that’s it then, you just opened it all up for him to take control.”

“Yup,” Kelsey says. “And then with the towel thing. He has his mind set, and you need to decide if you’re going to let it happen or not.”

“I . . . I really don’t know. I don’t want to lose him.” He’s told me he’s loved me for years, and it’s always been in friendship, but lately . . . lately it’s felt like more. But how can I know the difference? And what if I’m not enough for him sexually and his interest in me dwindles like Brian’s did? What if I lose him too? “If what you say is true, and he’s trying to coax me into a relationship, what happens if he doesn’t believe we work? As a couple? I don’t think I could manage him not being in my life.”

“Sometimes the best relationship comes from a strong friendship as the foundation,” Kelsey says. “That’s how it was with me and JP. We got really close, and I thought he was a great friend. Crossing that line felt natural to me.”

“It doesn’t feel natural to me,” I answer.

Lottie taps her chin. “I think Breaker is going to help you see just how natural it can be.”

Just got off work. Headed to your place.BREAKER:

Are you really just going to invite yourself over?Lia:

As if I needed an invite to begin with.Breaker:

Maybe you need one now.Lia:

Fine . . . Lia, can I come over and play?Breaker:

What does “play” entail?Lia:

Games. *eye roll*Breaker:

Okay, as long as we’re playing games. I can cook up some tortellini if you want. I got the fresh kind.Lia:

Serve me a bowl. I’m making a quick stop.Breaker:

What are you getting?Lia:

Dessert.Breaker:

Okay, see you soon.Lia:

“HEY,” Breaker says, walking into my apartment. I glance over my shoulder just in time to see him remove his suit jacket, revealing his tight-fitting button-up shirt where the top few buttons are undone, hinting at his firm chest. “Smells good.”

“Oh, thanks,” I say as I turn around and face the stove, my face heating from the mere sight of him.

He walks into the kitchen, comes right up behind me, and places his hand on my hip while looking over my shoulder. I’m immediately aroused, and that annoys me. I shouldn’t be this insane about the man. I should be able to control myself, but it seems like the girls are right. It’s next to impossible to control yourself around the Cane men.

His hand slides under my shirt and grips my waist as he says, “Want me to grab drinks?”

“Uh, yeah.” I gulp. “That would be helpful.”

“Okay.” He then lowers his face to my neck and places the lightest of kisses on my skin. “You smell amazing, by the way.”

And then he pulls away, and I’m left stirring the sauce rather frantically as I try to control my pulse, which has skyrocketed.

It’s the little things with him.

The attention.

The touches.

What he says.

All things I can now see that I wanted Brian to do—all things Breaker does without even asking. It’s almost as if it’s ingrained in him, and he doesn’t need to think about it. It just happens.

“How was your day?” he asks as he grabs two Sprites from the fridge.

“It was fine,” I say, still feeling stiff.

“Just fine?” he asks as he brings the drinks to the table.

“Yeah, nothing too exciting happened.”

“Well, we’ll have to change that,” he says as he grabs plates, and I take the sauce off the stove. “I got this. You go sit down.”

“You don’t have to, Breaker.”

He places his finger under my chin and holds me in place as he says, “I want to.”

Okay, then.

I let him serve us, and when I take a seat, I watch as he rolls up his sleeves, which then plays in my head like some sort of porno from the way his muscly forearm flexes. God, he really is so sexy. Why am I only letting myself notice it now? I mean, I’ve known he’s hot, but the thought has never hit me like this before, like I want to do something about it.

With a plate in each hand, he walks over to the table and sets it down in front of me. He grips the back of my neck and says, “Need anything else?”

“Uh, I don’t think so,” I answer while his palm burns into my skin.

He gives me a light squeeze. “Let me know if you do.”

Before he takes a seat, he scoots his chair closer to mine and then sits down, only to place his hand on my bare thigh.

I nearly choke on my tortellini.

“Problem?” he asks.

“Your, uh, your hand is on my thigh.”

“And . . .”

“Is it supposed to be there?” I ask as I stare at his gorgeous smirk.

“As a matter of fact, it is.” He stabs some tortellini with his fork and sticks it in his mouth.

Okay . . . I guess his hand is on my thigh then.

I turn back to my plate and try not to focus on the way his thumb caresses my skin back and forth slowly. It’s like he’s lulling me into some sort of sex-induced lullaby.

News flash, it’s working.

“Aren’t you going to ask me how my day was?” he asks.

I swallow and take a sip of my Sprite. “How was your day?”

“Pretty good. We had a company-wide meeting to go over the Shoemacher case, and then we fielded questions. It took up a great deal of the day. We split up the questions by department so we didn’t keep people waiting. I was glad to be back in the office.”

“That’s good. You happy?”

He glances over at me and smiles. “Very.”

And for some reason, I don’t think he answered about work.

“I CAN DO THOSE,” Breaker says as he comes up behind me while I’m at the sink, washing the pots. His hands once again slip under my shirt and past the waistband of my shorts to land on my hips. With his chest right against my back, the position feels more intimate than anything I ever did with Brian.

“I can handle it.”

“You sure?” he asks, his fingers sliding inward, causing a dull throb to ache between my legs.

“Yes,” I answer as I rest my head against his chest. Just for a moment.

He chuckles, and I can feel the rumble throughout my whole body. He brings one hand even closer in, resting just above where I want him. “I have no problem cleaning up. You did cook, after all.” His lips tug on my ear, and I drop the sponge in the sink and fully relax into him.

“I . . . I can do it.”

“Okay.” He nibbles on my ear again. “I’ll get dessert ready.” He removes his hands, and I almost let out an unsatisfied moan to call him back.

Throughout dinner, he kept his hand on my thigh as we talked about the old theater in Culver City opening up again and the old movies they’d play. He was attentive, he laughed with me, he listened, and he asked questions.

Just like every other conversation we’ve ever had.

Yet this felt different.

Everything feels different.

And it’s scary.

What’s especially scary is the way I feel empty when he walks away. That should be the most concerning thing out of all of this. I never felt anything like that with Brian. I shouldn’t be comparing things with Brian, but if what the girls said is true, and Breaker wants to move our friendship into a relationship, then Brian is the benchmark. And I’m coming to realize that it is a very low benchmark. He texted me again today, but that was it. I haven’t read any of his messages because, why bother? We’re done. End of story. No way would I feel this way if things ended with Breaker. And that’s what terrifies me.

I finish washing the pot, clear out the sink, and then wipe down the counters. When I glance up and don’t see Breaker at the dining room table, I call out, “Breaker?”

“In here,” he says from my bedroom.

Oh dear God.

What kind of dessert could we possibly have in the bedroom?

I tug on the hem of my shirt as I head toward his voice. That’s when I hear the bathtub filling with water. I poke my head around the corner to find Breaker turning off the faucet. The tub is full of water and topped off with bubbles, while candles provide the only light in the room.

“What’s this?” I ask, unsure of what else to say.

Breaker turns toward me, and my eyes immediately fall to his unbuttoned shirt and exposed chest and stomach.

“Bath time,” he says before walking up to me and taking the hem of my shirt in his hands. But he doesn’t pull up. He waits for me to give him the go-ahead. A part of me wonders what would happen if I walked away, but the other part of me—the desperate part of me—wants to see what he has in store.

So I lift my arms, and he slowly drags my shirt over my head and then drops it to the floor.

“Turn around,” he says.

And I do so.

He undoes my bra and lets it fall to the ground right before he drags my shorts and panties to the ground, leaving me completely naked.

His hands fall to my hips again as he presses his warm body against mine. His mouth caresses my cheek while his hands slide up my stomach to my breasts. Breaker seems to really like my breasts, which is definitely boosting my residual self-doubt from Brian’s lack of interest. Stop thinking about him. You have a hot-as-hell man touching your boobs.

“You’re so fucking addicting,” he says as he pinches my nipples.

My head falls back, and his lips find my neck. He trails kisses up the column and then back down while he plays with my nipples.

“Fuck,” I whisper as my body blazes.

“You like that, don’t you?”

I nod, not holding anything back, because I do. I like when he touches my breasts, when he plays with them, when his fingers pinch and pull on my nipples.

“Good. Now listen closely, Lia. I’m going to need you to slip into the bathtub, rest your head on the end, and spread your legs. Got it?”

I nod again and follow his instructions. He helps me into the tub, and I sink into the luxurious warm water.

“How does that feel?”

“Amazing,” I say as I get comfortable.

“Good.” He then reaches into a brown paper bag that I didn’t notice and pulls out a dildo. My eyes widen as he switches it on. The tubular part vibrates and rotates while a little part at the base flicks up and down.

Oh my God, is he going to use that on me?

My cheeks immediately flame as he sits on the edge of the tub.

“Have you ever used one of these before?”

“N-No,” I say nervously.

“It’s simple.” He brings it to the tub and parts the bubbles from my breast before letting it vibrate against my nipple. “You just stick this inside your delicious pussy and let it do all the work.”

“I-In the tub?”

“Yes.” He flips it off and drags it down my stomach, causing it to hollow out right before he lowers his hand into the water and runs the dildo along my pussy.

“What are you going to do?” I ask.

“Watch,” he answers simply. “Take my hand and help me guide it inside you.”

“But it’s so big.”

He catches my eyes as he says, “If you think this is big, wait until I let you have my cock. Now guide it in.”

Rocked by his words, I help him guide the dildo in, noting how it stretches me, but nothing painful. It just feels . . . incredible.

“How are you?”

“Fantastic.”

“Good. Hold it in place.” He switches it on, and I nearly fly out of the tub from the buzzing inside me and the clit stimulator on the outside.

“Oh my fuck,” I say as water sloshes around me, my legs clamping tight.

“Relax,” he says while pushing my chest down.

“But . . . oh my God, Breaker. It’s too much.”

“It’s not. Just relax.” He pinches my nipple, relaxing me immediately, which then intensifies the sensation between my legs.

“How?” I say as my head slowly moves from side to side.

“How what?” he asks as he releases my breasts and stands above me.

“How do you know what I need?”

I glance up to see his serious expression, hungry, greedy. “Because I know everything about you, Lia, even what will make you come.”

“You do,” I whisper as I sink into the water, letting the vibrator do the work. “It feels so good, like—” It turns off, and I look up at him to find him holding a remote. “What are you doing?” I ask.

“Controlling the situation.” And then he turns the vibrator back on, shocking me and causing my legs to spasm.

“Oh my God,” I moan.

The clit stimulator combined with the vibration is a sensation I’ve never experienced before, and I’m loving every second of it. Soaking it in, letting myself let go of all of my thoughts and concerns, focusing on how everything feels and the man in front of me, with his shirt open and his hungry eyes watching me.

“Play with your tits, Lia.”

His voice feels like a drug, seeping into my veins and governing my every movement. Without question, my hands travel up my body to my breasts, and I push them together. To keep the vibrator in place, I clench my legs together. Holy shit, that’s intense.

“Breaker,” I whisper as I run my fingers over my hardened nipples.

“Shit, you’re so hot,” he says as I hear him unzip his pants.

My eyes immediately open and fall to his waist as he reaches into his briefs and pulls out his long, thick cock.

Oh.

My.

Fuck.

Girthy.

Lengthy.

And so, so hard.

His gaze is on me as I take him all in.

My mouth waters, my legs quiver, and I know deep in my mind that I don’t think he could fit in me. There is no way.

“Breaker, you’re . . . you’re so big.”

“And fucking hard because of you.” He turns up the vibration on the remote, and my eyes squeeze shut as my body is rocked with pleasure.

I hear him grunt and the telltale sign of his hand sliding up and down his length. It’s so erotic. We’re not touching each other, yet we’re getting each other off.

“I’m going to be inside you soon,” he says as I open my eyes to see him pulling on his cock, his chest muscles firing off, his abs contorting with every stroke. “And I’m going to fuck you, Lia. I’m going to make sure you feel nothing but my dick for the rest of your goddamn life.”

The vibrator moves faster, and I can’t do anything other than let him take over. So I bring one hand down to the vibrator, hold it in place, and then use my other hand to play with my nipple, running my finger around it in circles, flicking at it, and then pinching it the way Breaker does.

“Fuck, this feels so good,” I say as my pelvis starts to move with the vibrations.

“Do you wish it was my cock inside you?” he asks.

“Your cock is too big,” I say as my legs start to spasm with jolts of pleasure.

“My cock is perfect for your cunt,” he says, his voice drawing me to look up at him. “You hear me?” he asks, determination in his expression. “My cock is fucking perfect for your deliciously tight cunt.”

My chest fills with air as my head feels dizzy. I nod in agreement, only for him to press the button on the remote again, the dildo now vibrating at a frantic pace that causes my stomach to bottom out.

“Oh my God . . . oh fuck,” I yell as my body seizes. The stimulator rubs my clit in just the right spot, causing my body to break out in a sweat.

An undeniable pressure builds and builds at the base of my stomach, letting my pleasure climb until it’s sitting right there, ready to fall over.

“Breaker . . . oh my God,” I groan.

“You need to come?” he asks.

“Yes,” I grind out, and then in a flash, the vibrator is turned off. My eyes shoot open, and I breathlessly ask, “What are you doing?”

“Making you wait for me.” He continues to pump his cock, but steps closer and closer to me until his pelvis is right at my face. “Suck me into your mouth.”

“What?” I ask.

“You heard me, Lia. Suck my cock.”

“But, I’m not—”

“Don’t,” he says. “Don’t fucking tell me you’re not good at it. Just from the look of your lips, I know you’ll make me come in seconds. So suck my fucking cock into your mouth. Now.”

So turned on but also unsure, I turn in the tub so I’m kneeling in front of him. With the vibrator still between my legs, I reach out and take his girth into my hand. His eyes squeeze shut just from the touch, which gives me confidence, and then I slowly bring him up to my mouth, where I lick along the rim.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he says as his palm lands on my head. He doesn’t force me or encourage me. It’s almost like he needs to have his hand there to keep steady.

I swirl my tongue around the head a few times, pull him into my mouth, and then release him, repeating the rhythm a few times. I watch in fascination as his chest rises and falls more rapidly. I love the way his fingers dig into my scalp, and the groans that fall past his lips are so erotic that it heightens my pleasure as well.

I swirl a few more times and then remember what he said about flicking the underside of his cock. I drag my tongue to the base and then lick all the way up to the point that I know he loves the most. And that’s when I start flicking and pumping his cock with my hand at the same time.

“Motherfucker,” he breathes out. “Fuck, Lia.” His hand plays with my hair. “Your mouth. So goddamn good. So warm.” I suck him in, and his legs buckle for a moment. I pull him all the way out, then push him farther in, and when I drag him out, I let my teeth slowly skim across his length. “Fuck!” he shouts as he stiffens, and then the vibrator turns back on in full force. I moan against his cock as rapture shoots through me.

“Breaker, I’m . . . I’m there.”

“Then suck me hard,” he says, and I do. I pull on his cock so hard that I feel like I’m going to hurt him. But I don’t. I just spur him on even more, and as my orgasm climbs closer and closer, my body going numb, my vision fading. All I can think about is how I want him to come. How I want to hear his moans.

I swirl my tongue, dip my mouth over his cock, pull back with my teeth, and when I can’t hold on to my orgasm any longer, I moan loudly against the head of his length as my whole body spasms.

“So fucking . . . hot,” he says as his entire body stiffens. “Swallow me,” he says right before he pulses inside my mouth and comes.

I swallow every last drop, and when he’s done, I fall into the bathtub, trying to catch my breath as I stare up at him. He drops to his knees and reaches out to me, where he grips the back of my neck, pulling me closer to the edge.

“Fucking Christ,” he says, breathing heavily as his eyes are on mine. “Jesus, Lia.”

“Did . . . did you like that?”

“Did I like that?” he asks, shocked. “I more than liked that. I just developed an addiction to your mouth.” His thumb drags over my lips as he gently says, “My cock lives here now. This is my mouth. These are my teeth. This is my tongue.” And when I think he’s going to go in for a kiss as he pulls me closer, he kisses the top of my forehead and then pulls away. “Good night, Lia.”

He pulls away, and with a surprise protest, I say, “Wait, you’re leaving?”

“The plan was always to leave after dessert.” He stands, and I watch him stuff his penis back into his pants, but he doesn’t bother zipping up. “Get some good rest.”

And then he’s off without another word.

I don’t know how long I stay in the tub, at least until the water goes cold. I drain the water, rinse off, and then I don’t even bother with clothes as I brush my teeth and climb into bed naked, my mind flooding with thoughts of what we just did.

I reach to turn off my bedside light when my phone dings with a text message.

Thank you for dinner, Lia.Breaker:

I stare at the text for what feels like a minute. It’s such a stark contrast to the way he left my apartment. How can he just turn it on and off like that? My mind is still whirling with every erotic thing that happened between us tonight. Doesn’t he have the same thoughts? I decide to ask him because I need to understand this better.

How can you act like nothing just happened?Lia:

I’m not acting like nothing happened. Trust me, I can still feel your mouth on my cock.Breaker:

Then . . . then why are you acting so casual about all of this? I have no idea what’s happening between us, and you’re not helping.Lia:

This feels normal to me, Lia. Like I should have been intimate with you for the last ten years, but I know it’s taking you time to get there. I want you to see just how normal it is.Breaker:

It doesn’t feel normal. It feels weird.Lia:

Did it feel weird when you were dragging your teeth along my dick?Breaker:

Well, no. But that was in the moment.Lia:

Exactly. Keep living in the moment and stop overthinking everything. Good night, Lia.Breaker:

And then, then he knocks on the wall four times, and reluctantly, I knock on it three.

I DON’T EVEN BOTHER GETTING my yarn out of my bag as I take a seat on Kelsey’s couch. I called an emergency meeting after last night, and the girls were more than happy to accommodate. The men, not so much.

Lottie sets down a plate of mini quiches that Reign made, as well as a plate of his delicious croissants.

“Seemed like a croissant moment,” she says.

Kelsey brings over a bowl of jelly, plates, and utensils while Myla files in with drinks.

“What’s going on?” Kelsey asks.

Getting straight to the point, I say, “You guys were right. He has a plan, and he’s executing it.”

Lottie leans over and grabs a mini quiche. Before popping it in her mouth, she says, “The Cane men always have a plan . . . always.”

“What happened?” Myla asks.

I go into detail about the night and how we shared a nice dinner, and he was all handsy, but conversation was normal. And then when it came to dessert . . .

“Wait, he had a dildo with a remote and then put you in the tub?” Lottie asks, blinking.

My cheeks are flaming as I nod. “Yes. And let me tell you, never in my life have I ever done anything like that. Not even by myself.”

“I knew he was the kinkier one,” Lottie whispers.

“That’s not even the kinkiest part,” I say.

Myla lifts her drink to her lips and says, “Please tell us.”

“Uh, well, he told me to suck him off while the vibrator was still inside me.”

The girls all sit there, partially stunned.

“And I did,” I add.

Lottie swallows and asks, “How was his dick?”

“Like a freaking log.”

The girls let out a boisterous laugh.

“Seriously, it was so big. I told him that wasn’t fitting inside me, and he told me how his cock was perfect for my . . . cunt.”

“He said that?” Kelsey asks. “Man, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to look at Breaker the same way.”

“I don’t think any of us will,” Myla says.

“Quick question,” Lottie says, holding up her finger. “Did you suck him off?”

Starting to feel a touch more comfortable with these conversations, I nod. “I did and . . . I really liked it.”

“Thatta girl,” Lottie says while patting my leg.

“So what’s the problem?” Myla asks.

“The problem is, everything still feels weird. Like when we’re in the moment, nothing is weird about it. It’s so natural. And sure, he stuns me with what he says and what he wants me to do, but after . . . after is what’s killing me. And when I talked to him about it last night, he told me to stop overthinking everything.”

“He’s right,” Kelsey says. “You need to just live in the moment.”

“I agree,” Myla says as she puts jelly on a croissant. “It sounds like he’s trying to normalize it all, and if you’re resistant, it’s going to make it hard for him to do that.”

“The big question is, do you want something more with him?” Kelsey asks.

I lean back on the couch and give it some thought.

Life without Breaker is a life I don’t think I could handle, nor do I want it.

This new level of our friendship, it’s different, but I also seem to enjoy it. That’s a lie. I know I enjoy it.

Immensely.

“I think I do,” I answer. “But that terrifies me.”

“Understandable,” Lottie says. “But you know Breaker won’t do anything to hurt you, ever. He cherishes you.”

“He really does,” Kelsey adds. “Pretty much worships the ground you walk on.”

“And he’s intending to make something so much more of you two,” Lottie adds.

“I guess so. But . . . the weirdness,” I say.

“Then don’t make it weird,” Myla chimes in. “Take charge. Don’t let him lead the way. Surprise him and initiate something yourself. Maybe that will take the weird out of it.”

“Ooo, good idea,” Lottie says.

“Oh, that makes me sweaty,” I say. “I’ve initiated many times before, but Breaker is just so much more experienced than I am. I’d feel like an idiot if I tried to initiate.”

“All you have to do is walk up to him and grab his penis, and he’ll be good to go,” Myla says, causing us to laugh.

“Yeah, I might need more than that.”

“So you’re open to initiation?” Kelsey asks.

“I think so. I mean, it makes sense. If I want something, I need to move forward on it as well, and maybe it will be less awkward if I take the first step.”

“I think so.” Myla taps her chin. “Oh, I know. You can send him a dirty text.”

“Yes.” Lottie slaps the armrest of the sofa. “A dirty text. That’s perfect. You can hide behind the keyboard so you don’t have to face the initial awkwardness, but you can also control the conversation.”

“That is a great idea,” Kelsey chimes in. “What should it say? Something that will really grab his attention. Like . . . I like your penis.”

Lottie rolls her eyes. “Excuse my sister. She’s not that good at dirty talk.”

Kelsey folds her arms. “Okay, what would you type?”

“Well, since you’re putting me on the spot, I’m not going to be as eloquent as if I took some time to really think about it. But she could say something like . . . I’m so horny just thinking about last night.”

“Better,” Myla says and shakes her head. “But not good enough. We need something that would match Breaker’s style, something that would really grab his attention.” She thinks about it for a second, and then a smile crosses her face. “Got it.”

“Please share,” Lottie says, crossing one leg over the other.

“Plain and simple . . . I want to sit on your face.”

“What?” I ask, my cheeks feeling like they just caught in flames.

“Yessss,” Lottie drags out. “God, Huxley goes insane when I say stuff like that.”

“JP loves that as well,” Kelsey adds.

“You guys would text that to your men?” I ask in disbelief.

“Yup.” Lottie pulls out her phone. “Watch. I’ll text him right now and show you his response. We should all do it.”

“I have no problem with that,” Myla says and pulls out her phone, and Kelsey does the same. They all send a text.

“Seconds, just wait,” Lottie says, and then her phone dings. With a smile, she clears her throat. “I said, I want to sit on your face, and he responded . . .” She wets her lips. “Get home. Now!”

Kelsey’s phone dings with a text. “That would be my husband. And he said, ‘babe, you know your pussy has a permanent reservation, party of one on my face.’”

I smirk just as Myla’s phone goes off.

She opens up her text and says, “Ryot texted a tongue and three drops of water. As well as, ‘when you get home, strip down, I’ll be waiting in the bedroom.’”

Hmm, I wonder what Breaker would say.

Curiosity gets the best of me, so I take out my phone as well.

Lottie claps her hands as she says, “She’s doing it.”

They’re right. I need to cross the bridge of awkwardness if I’m going to make this work, and I do. I don’t want to lose him. I want more of him, but I’m just scared. The only way not to be scared is to jump in headfirst.

I pull up our text thread, and I shoot him a text.

Hey.Lia:

“What did you say?” Kelsey asks.

“I just said hey, figured I’d work him in first.” My phone dings, and I read his text out loud. “Hey, was just thinking about you.”

“Ooo, ask him what he was thinking about,” Kelsey says.

I text back.

What were you thinking about?Lia:

My phone dings. “About how I want to see you tonight. Come over to my place?” I glance up at the girls. “Should I say it now?”

They all nod. On a shaky breath, I text him back.

I’ll be there . . . I really want to sit on your face.Lia:

I squeeze my eyes shut and press send. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I just said that to him. What if he thinks it’s weird?”

“Guaranteed he won’t,” Lottie says. “He’ll love it so much.”

“He will,” Myla adds. “Just wait.”

I stare down at my phone, and when I see the blue dots indicating that he’s typing, my stomach drops. And then a resounding ding sounds off through the living room.

Instead of reading it out loud at first, I read it to myself.

Good. Your cunt is mine tonight. I’m famished.Breaker:

My eyes widen when I look up at the girls.

“Oooo, his response has to be good,” Lottie says.

I turn the phone around for all of them to read it together because I can’t say what he texted out loud.

“Dear God,” Kelsey says.

“Ummm, did Breaker just win?” Lottie asks.

Myla nods her head as she sits back. “Yeah, he beat out all the boys with his response.” She then looks at me and says, “Have fun tonight. Looks like it’s going to be one hell of a time.”