Lords of Wrath: Chapter 10
Lords of Wrath (Dark College Bully Romance) : Royals of Forsyth University
She undresses with no fanfare, slipping out of her skirt and panties like itâs nothing to bare herself before me. Sheâs still a fucking vision, though, standing there all pale and delicate-looking, those full tits of hers looking perfectly grabbable. I rake my teeth across my lip at her approach, my eyes dragging down her body to that sweet pussy.
I gesture to the Epsom salt, explaining, âMs. Crane sent that up.â It was meant for Story, but hey. A long soak is good for the muscles.
I make space for her between my legs, watching as she steps into the water. Iâd rather take a dive off a tall structure before admitting it, but I think I might have missed her these last few days. She was interesting. Fun to toy with. Nice to wake up to. Warm. Sort of nice, really.
And then she chose Killian.
Iâve been white-knuckling my grudge about it for so long that it wasnât until a couple hours ago that I realized sheâs nursing one of her own.
I just donât know why.
She avoids my gaze as she settles herself into the water, her ass against my rapidly growing cock. Killianâs been abusing that pussy, that much I know. Sore, Tristian had said. Ms. Crane hadnât seemed worried, but she had threatened my testicles in a variety of creative ways if I tried to stick my dick in there a second before it was healed proper.
I didnât need that cranky old bat to enlighten me to the fact Iâm not getting any tonight. The way Storyâs got her knees all tucked to her chest, tense and closed off, is evidence enough.
Sighing, I go to hit my blunt, only to realize the emberâs gone out. I hold it out to the candle, re-lighting it. âYou ever smoke weed before?â
She turns only enough for me to make out the curve of her cheekbone. âYes.â
I raise an eyebrow. âReally? When?â
One of her shoulders curls toward her ear in a loose shrug. âBack in boarding school.â
âPrivate school girls, huh?â I shake my head, explaining, âItâs the only thing that seems to help when I have a headache. Well, that and turning off the lights.â Drawing another hit into my lungs, I ask, âDid you like it?â
She hums in response, tightening her grip around her knees. âIt was fine.â
Well.
Enough of this shit.
I reach out to stroke her shoulder, gently pulling her back. Sheâs resistant only for a secondâstiff, like an impulseâbefore sinking back to rest against my chest. Iâm probably just stoned stupid, but I canât help but notice how perfectly she fits into the curve of my body. I exhale a stream of smoke as I look down at her chest, watching the water flutter over her pink nipples.
âHere,â I offer, holding the blunt in front of her lips. She stares at it for a moment, frozen, so I add, âYou can say no. More for me.â
She doesnât.
Her lips wrap around the end, sucking in a short drag, and I pull it away, watching her inhale. Itâs released with a slow, steady stream of smoke.
âTastes like ass,â she whispers. Despite that, I can feel her body loosening, head lolling back on my shoulder.
I take the opportunity to sweep her hair back from her neck, getting a look at that ridiculous fucking tracker. Tristian was dead set on the thing. Any other time, I might have been able to talk Killian into seeing sense.
And then he found out about Cartwright.
Killianâs got a lot of hang-ups when it comes to this girl, but one will always be front and center, sending him careening right over the edge of reason: Story receiving, seeking, or accepting any amount of attention from pervy older men.
I run my finger over the spot. âDoes it hurt?â
She fixes her eyes to something across the room. âYes.â
Right. Stupid question. If anyone in this house understands how it feels to have metal pushed through their skin, itâs me. âHow aboutâ¦â I walk my fingers down her arm, sliding them down her belly, beneath the water. I give the patch of skin above her clit a light tap. ââ¦here?â
She turns her head away. âI donât know. A little.â
Tristian and I have both been wondering whatâs going on in Killerâs room at night. Story has been going willinglyâat least seemingly so. There havenât been any marks. Weâve been careful about making sure. But I should have known heâd find a way to throw her some hurt.
Jesus.
âKillian is such a fucking fuck.â I let my head fall back against the tub, eyes sliding closed. After a moment of processing the anger, I tell her, âI would have made it good for you.â I feel her weight against me, skating my fingertips lazily over her shoulder. âI had all these plansâ¦â
Her voice is dry when she repeats, âPlans.â
âYep.â I skim my fingers over her arm. âI had a playlist. Couldnât let my Lady lose her virginity to shitty music, could I? I was going to wear a condomâribbed, with lots of lube. It was going to be in the morning, becauseâ¦â I pause, having to think hard to remember why that was a detail. âWell, because weâre just really good in the mornings, right? I was going to eat you out for a while. Itâd have to be a weekend, so we could take our time. Now that I think about it, I guess it wasnât really anything elaborate. Still, probably would have been better than what you got.â
Her head turns back toward me, but I donât open my eyes to see her expression. Her voice sounds flat. âMaybe.â
I hit the blunt again, feeling some of the tension bleed out of my neck. Fucking stress headaches. The worst. âFor what itâs worth, I was against the tracker. Bunch of police state bullshit, if you ask me. Butâ¦â I crack an eye then, finding that sheâs watching me back, some unreadable emotion swimming in her eyes. âThey might have a point.â
The unreadable emotion instantly turns to ice. âIâm micro-chipped like a dog, Rath. Like an animal. Thereâs no âpointâ that could make that any less of a violation.â
I reach up and touch the line of her jaw. âPeople chip their pets because theyâre important to them. Because theyâre precious. Because they care for them.â Sighing, I offer her the blunt again, and itâs kind of funny to watch her pull a drag from it with that pinched, angry expression. âIâm not saying itâs the best display or whatever. Justâ¦â Shaking my head, I lose myself in the scent of her hair, letting my muscles go lax. âShit. Weâre busy people, Story. Not likeâ¦schedules and chores kind of busy. The kind of busy that just doesnât stop. We have our hands in a lot of pots, and almost no one likes it. Trust me, there are worse people out there than Perez.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Lifting the blunt to my mouth, I take another drag, thinking. âIt means the woods are lovely, dark and deep. But we have promises to keep.â Exhaling, I open my eyes to meet her stunned gaze. âAnd miles to go before we sleep.â
âRobert Frost?â She gives me a slow blink. âYou were listening earlier?â
I reach out to snuff the blunt into a nearby tray. âWho wouldnât listen to a beautiful girl reading them poetry? Just had this bitch of a headache. Like I saidâ¦â
She looks away. âOh.â
I get my hands in the water then, feeling up her sides, gliding over all of that soft, ripe skin. I run the tip of my nose over the shell of her ear, wondering, âFeeling any better?â
She certainly feels more relaxed.
Or she does until my fingers brush over the side of her tits. Then sheâs going all tense again.
Fucking Killian.
I reach down and lift the plug, draining the water out. âCome on,â I say, nudging her. âLetâs get you dry and tucked into bed.â
When we step out, she takes the towel I give her, wrapping it tightly around her middle.
âYou bring something to sleep in?â
âNo.â She finally looks up at me. âI can wear something of yours. If thatâs okay.â
âSure.â Iâd prefer her naked, but I doubt the suggestion would be welcome. I head out of the bathroom and go to my dresser, finding an old t-shirt. Itâs gray with a black Lord skull on the front. The cotton is soft and worn. Iâd gotten this thing my junior year of high school. Thatâs how in-the-cards this whole thing has been.
When I turn, sheâs standing just outside the bathroom, pulling her panties up her legs. Her eyes are glued to the bed, like sheâs seeing something that hurts to look at.
âDrop this,â I say, tugging at the towel. She fidgets for a moment before untucking it, letting it fall to the ground. I scrunch the shirt up to the neck, holding it out. I get a bemused look at the gesture, but she lets me push it over her head, threading her arms through.
It looks good on her.
It makes my dick hard.
She reaches over her chest to clutch her elbow, looking small and weirdly vulnerable for someone I just watched slap a quarterback clean across the face. âI can, umâ¦sleep on the couch.â
Iâm halfway into pulling on my boxers when she says it. Freezing, my head snaps up, eyes narrowing. âThe couch?â
Excuse me?
She nods, ducking her head. âYeah.â
I may be a bit lost when it comes to a lot of things in life, but there are some things I just know.
I know I smoke too much, and the creative side of my brain works best when Iâm full of vodka and too tired to see straight. I know that Van Morrison is a legitimate god, Debussy is overrated, and electronica can be really good in the right hands. I know that Killian and Tristian give me a dozen reasons to hate them every day, and that Iâd take a bullet for either of them in a split second, without even having to consider it. Most of all, I know that wanting something and not being able to have it is nothing more than the mark of failure.
Sweet Cherry is freezing me the fuck out.
What I know, I know.
Time to grease these goddamn wheels. âOkay. Can I do something for you first?â
She pushes her hair out of her eyes, looking shifty. âLike what?â
Goosebumps rise on her flesh as I trail my fingers down her arm, watching her body clench in response. âLet me give you a massage. These fingers are good at more than playing the piano.â
That earns a surly remark. âIâve been made aware.â
âIâm not talking about anything sexual,â I insist, althoughâ¦letâs face it. Weâll see. âCome on, weâve got a nice buzz going. I know youâre still upset, but at least let me help you relax.â Leaning in, I whisper into her ear, âUse me, Lady.â
Possibly Iâm still smarting from her earlier remark about treating her like a Lady.
She eyes me suspiciously. Itâs well-founded. Iâm not known for the spirit of giving. Tristian loves to dote on Story with food and gifts, like sheâs his little poodle. Thatâs his game. Baths and massages arenât my style. Iâm not good at the whole attentive nurturing thing. I strongly doubt my ability to sell it. But Iâve got to find out what the issue is, or Iâll lose ground.
Iâll lose her.
âCome on,â I say, sitting with my back against the headboard. I pat the mattress between my legs. âSit here and Iâll ease some of that tension.â
She considers it for a minute, like sheâs wondering if itâs a trap. Thatâs fair. Itâs not not a trap. Finally, she relents, moving so that her ass is against my crotch and her back is in front of me, just like in the bath. My cock twitches, but I will it to stand down.
I start at her neck, pushing aside her hair and taking care not to touch the small spot where the tracker was implanted. Working the tight muscles with slow, deliberate motions, I make myself think of this like a symphony, different movements, each drawn out to make something whole.
Maybe she just needs to feel in control, even if she isnât. Thatâs probably why Tristian took her with him to set that fire. He wanted Story to feel like she has power, even though, ultimately, she belongs to usâbody, mind, and soul.
My hands travel over her shoulders, then down to her arms. I knead her little biceps, then rub down her forearms and lower, taking my time on her wrists, her palms, every finger. Then I start over and do it all again. Slowly her muscles unwind, and her breaths coming deep and even.
When she shifts, sinking back into me, her ass grinds against my dick, which is hard as nails. Itâs been a minute since I had a mouth on me, but Iâve heard her down there with Killian, soft cries and a banging headboard.
Yeah, Iâm panting for it.
She tenses right back up at the feel of my hardness.
âIâm not going to do anything with it. Promise.â At her skeptical look, I add, âMs. Crane would garrote me with a piano wire, girl.â
She exhales and nods. âTrue.â
I make the same pass again, starting at her shoulders, moving down her back, over to her arms and hands. âLean back,â I suggest, and she complies, resting her body against my chest. Her sweet-smelling hair is under my nose. I work my fingers up the long column of her neck, threading into the hair above her ears, massaging her scalp, her temples.
She releases a drawn out groan, going limp.
âWhen did you start playing piano?â she asks, her voice drowsy.
Iâm surprised by the question, but answer easily, âWhen I was six. My family didnât have much money. It was just me and my mom at that point. My older brother, Alessio, was already graduating high school.â
âYou have an older brother?â
âA lot older,â I stress, feeling her limp against me. âMy mom had him young. We were never close or anything.â Alessio got out of South Side and never looked back. Not at us.
She nods into my palms. âSo the pianoâ¦â
âMy mom, she had this thing about wanting to provide for us, the way rich people provided for their kids. She was convinced if we learned to play an instrument, it could be our ticket out. She made a deal with our neighbor, Mrs. Budd, who had a piano, that Ma would do her laundry if sheâd teach us piano. Alessio was awful at it, but I took to it pretty quickly.â I knead the back of her shoulders, working out a little knot of tension. âItâs the only thing Iâve ever been good at.â
âYou were good at soccer back in high school,â she points out.
âTrue, but that was a team thing. Playing instrumentsâ¦thatâs something all of my own.â She flinches as I needle her back, but itâs obvious she likes how it feels. âCan you keep a secret?â
She stills. âYes.â
âIâve been saving up money for my own piano for a while now. I want a really swank one.â Itâs selfish and greedy of me, considering my position with Daniel, but itâs all Iâve ever really wanted. Tristian would buy me one in a heartbeat, but it doesnât feel right to let him. Not for this.
She looks across the room. âWhat about that one?â
Scoffing, I explain, âThat thing? It belongs to the house. Itâs supposed to be down in the library, but I had them bring it up when we moved in.â A couple of the pledges still hold it against me to this day, and itâs hilarious.
After a pause, she wonders, âHow much have you saved?â
âThe one I want costs forty grand. I have about twelve saved.â I close my eyes and think of the baby grand I want, and what Story might look like bent over the top, cock buried deep inside her cunt, crying out my name. Quietly, I ask, âWhyâd you stop calling me by my name?â
Sheâs boneless here, head lolling around as I work it between my hands. âWhaâ¦?â she asks, forehead creasing in either pleasure or confusion. âI call you by your name.â
âYou used to,â I answer, gathering her hair in both fists and giving it a slow, gentle tug. The motion makes her shudder, mouth parting. âI liked it. No one else really calls me that. Itâs always âRathâ.â
I can see when she realizes what Iâm talking about. Her slack jaw lifts, throat bobbing with a swallow. âHabit, I guess.â
Bullshit of the highest order.
A few days ago, we were sharing a bed and fucking around and looking at each other without all our muscles going taut. Sheâd begged me to let her help me with my schoolwork, and even fell for easing my tension with some of the best blow jobs of my life. Sheâd wanted it, asked for it, which is exactly what made it so fucking hot. Now she doesnât even want to sleep in the same bed with me?
Only one thing has really changed over the last few days.
âIs it Killer?â One palm descends, rubbing into her clavicle as the other continues the soft hair tugging. My lips move against her temple when I ask, âWas he giving you shit about it? Telling you to keep your distance? Because I know heâs the jealous type, butââ
She shakes her head. âNo, itâs not him.â
Thereâs an ambiguity to her reply that I donât particularly care for. Weâre still in the middle of our game, stakes are on the line, and shit. I actually do need her help with reading. Sheâs the first person whoâs ever really taken the time to help me and not just pass me along or mock me. But beyond that, I donât like being on this side of things.
This shit has got to change.
Her tits rise and fall as she inhales and exhales, and I see her nipples pebbled under the soft cotton of my shirt. Running my hands down her sides, I drag my nose over her pink cheek. âYou used to like sleeping here. It was good, wasnât it? We were good.â
She stutters out a dazed, âI-Iâ¦â
âSomething happened,â I muse, hands gliding over a spot that makes her squirm against me. Over the fabric of her shirt, I graze her soft belly before my fingers climb up her ribs. Her hips shift minutely, and I have no doubt that sheâs aroused. Probably already wet. Fuck, I want to dip my fingers between her legs and find out. I donât. âWhatever it was, it doesnât seem to apply to the others. A guy could feel a little hurt.â
âHe could,â she breathes, eyelids rising and falling with a heavy blink. âBut he wonât.â
I watch her face closely. âWhyâs that?â
She doesnât answer until my hands have risen again, framing the underside of her tits, caressing the skin stretched over her ribs. âHeâd probably have to care first,â is her low answer.
I pause, hands going still. âYou think I donât care?â When she doesnât answer, I think fuck it, and sweep my hands up to cup her tits, giving them a long squeeze. In a hushed voice, I ask, âYou think I havenât missed you?â
She stiffens, but her back still arches into my hands. âMe? Or the things I do for you?â
Well, thatâs hardly fair. The two are unavoidably linked. âSo youâre pissed at me becauseâ¦youâre feeling neglected?â Well, she has given me some premium head, and I did send her off to handle herself after.
âIâm not pissed at you.â Sheâs clearly lying.
Jesus, sheâs fucking infuriating. Push too hard, and I spook her. Donât push hard enough and things are too one-sided. What the hell does it take with this girl?
Biting back my frustration, I run my hands over the curve of her hips, to the inside of her thighs, dragging them apart. âJust relax,â I say when she tenses.
âWhat are you doing?â she asks, planting her hands on the bed.
âTreating you like my Lady.â The taste is sour on my tongue. Who the fuck is she to tell me how to treat my own Lady, anyway? âIf tit-for-tatâs what youâre looking for, then we can settle this right now. I pay my debts.â
âI-I donât wantââ
âYes, you do.â I can hear it in the stutter of her breath when the tip of my thumb grazes the edge of her panties. âYou just had a nice, warm bath. Got a good buzz. A massage. Who wouldnât want to get off after that?â
âYou said you wouldnât.â The words come out small and accusing.
I correct her, âI said I wouldnât do anything with my dick, and I wonât.â I run my thumb up the center of her panties, scraping a blunt nail over her clit. âBut I can still make you feel good.â
She sinks her teeth into her lip. âRathâ¦â
I feel my face go dark at the name. Suddenly, it clicks together. Itâs possible that, for a minute there, Iâd been something better than a Lord to her. More than a Lord. But now itâs looking like thatâs all I am. I donât know when it happened or why, but I can feel the certainty of it. Somehow, Iâm back to square one with this girl.
At least I know how to navigate that.
Tipping my mouth to her ear, I softly ask, âWould it be easier if I made it an order?â
Her jaw goes taut, gaze dropping. I know what sheâs about to say a moment before her lips part. Itâs in the flash of shame that fills her eyes. âYes.â
Fucking called it.
âSpread your legs, Lady.â
Her thighs open for me. Thatâs the thing about Story. She likes what we do to her. She gets off on it. It feels good enough that she always comes back, skirting the edges of our awareness, waiting around for someone to pounce. She just canât handle feeling accountable for it. A few months ago, this knowledge would have amused the hell out of me.
Maybe itâs this new realization that Iâd actually achieved something greater, but tonight, it just strikes me as unfortunate. It doesnât matter that I arrived there by using Lord tactics. We had fun, the two of us.
The inside of her panties are warm and already damp when I dip a hand inside, running my fingers through her slickness. In an instant, sheâs putty in my hands, head thrown back on my shoulder. Her breathing is shallow and her muscles are relaxed, down to the bend in her knee that parts her creamy thighs. âOhâ¦â
Oh, is right.
I close my eyes against the wrenching impulse to flip her over and drive my dick deep inside, claiming it for my own, if only for tonight. That wonât do, though. I make it about her instead, getting her clit nice and slick with her own wetness before setting a rhythm. I know Iâm hitting it right when her thighs fall open wider, her little hands clamping onto my legs.
I hum against her cheek. âYou like that, baby?â
Her mouth is all slack again, a crease forming between her eyes.
She doesnât answer.
I let my other hand creep under her shirt. âI would have let you be on top,â I tell her, remembering all my plans. I palm her tit, flicking my thumb over her stiff nipple. âI was going to show you how to ride me, nice and slow. Let you set the pace.â Her breath hitches, hips bucking. Oh, yes. She likes that idea. âI was going to play with your clit, just like this, until that tight little body of yours started trembling.â Smirking into her flushed cheek, I note, âA lot like how youâre shaking now.â
When I pull my hand from her panties, she gasps, âRathâ¦â
I shush her, rubbing my palm into the soft inside of her thigh. âWeâll get there.â
She was right on the edge of coming. The fine tremors in her thigh muscles are evidence enough, but the way her hips squirm confirms it. I give it a moment, make her back off that steep precipice, before grazing my knuckles over the cotton of her panties.
âYou want more?â
She bites her lip, nodding.
âThen maybe we should take these off, hm?â I hook my fingers into the elastic of her panties, fighting back a smirk when she lets me drag them over her hips, down her legs. I tuck them beneath my pillow as a little treat for later.
Some of that anxious tension starts coming back, which is how I know itâs time. I pull her thighs apart and get back to work, watching as my fingers work up and down her wet slit. Sheâs watching too, those brown eyes of hers heavy and hooded as I rub tight, deliberate circuits around her swollen clit.
âI would have made you come on my dick,â I tell her, enjoying the way my fingers look against her rosy cunt. âThen, when you were all loose and sloppy-wet for me, I would have rolled us over and fucked you right.â She shudders when I pinch her nipple. âI wouldnât have torn you up. But I would have made sure you felt me the next day.â
Jesus fuck, how long had I been thinking about taking her virginity?
Apparently, Iâd put a lot of thought into it.
When she starts shaking again, I take my hand away, pressing a low, âShh, baby,â into her neck when she groans, writing up into thin air.
Possibly, Iâm still holding onto a little piece of that grudge.
She makes a plaintive, breathless sound. âWhat are you doing?â
I knead my fingers into her thigh some more. âJust edging you a little. Itâll feel good, but you need a little patience.â She looks the exact opposite of patient, her dark eyes shining with a dazed sort of confusion. I tug on the hem of the shirt. âMaybe we should take this off, yeah?â
She doesnât argue, letting me shuck it up over her head.
Now Iâve got her exactly where I need her; horny, naked, and writhing on my boner.
Good show.
âReady for some more?â
Sheâs nodding before I even finish the sentence.
I drag in a soft hiss when I touch her again. Sheâs blazing hot down there, so wet that sheâs probably got my blankets all kinds of forfeit. When I lay my fingers over her clit, I can practically feel her pulse through it. She bucks into the weight of my hand, chasing any bit of friction, and I donât make her wait.
I make this touch light, the muscles in my arms going taut and sharp as I glance the flats of my fingers over that bundle of nerves with tight, furious flicks of my wrist. âI was going to keep my eyes open,â I say to her.
When she grinds up against it, I pull it back, keeping the touch nothing more than glancing. It makes the tendon in her neck go rigid and pronounced as she digs her head back into my shoulder.
âI would have watched you the whole time,â I continue, my voice going rough like gravel. âMade sure you felt good.â
âPlease,â she gasps, chasing the friction of my hand.
Finally.
I take my hand away, hugging her close when she whines in response. âAlmost,â I assure her. My dick could probably drill a hole right now, but thereâs something I need to hear before I can let her fall to pieces. I turn to watch her flushed face, reaching up to brush her chin. âCome on, baby,â I say, nudging her toward me. âGive me your mouth.â
She complies mindlessly, lips parted as her head lolls to the side, allowing me to lick into the seam. Her tongue is shy and lazy, barely pressing back against my own as I kiss her. I take whatâs mine anyway, crushing our mouths together as my hand returns to her center.
I feel her hand come up to wind in my hair and then swallow her gasp as I rub hard and insistent against her clit. Fuck, I missed this, too. Story has the most docile kisses, sweet and lax no matter the rhythm or heat of the moment, like sheâs content to be tongue-fucked.
Thatâs exactly what I give her, licking in and out of her mouth like I own itâand I suppose, in some way, I do. My own words come breathless when I say, âRight before I came, I was going to pull out and take the condom off.â
I can feel her body starting to clench up, so close to breaking that sheâs quivering.
âDonât,â she says against my lips, begging so sweetly. âPlease donât stop.â
âI would have wanted it off so I could fill you up.â Maybe Iâm shaking a little, too, but most of it is restraint. Not enough of it, though. My voice is growing too hardâtoo harshâteeth scraping against her lip with a snarl. âI would have buried my load so far inside of you that you could taste it.â
I time my retreat perfectly.
The sound she makes when I pull my hand away is high-pitched and wounded. âRath, please.â Itâs a long sob of a breath, full of frustration and agony.
I brush her hair back, forcing down the wild, aggressive thing thatâs boiling beneath the surface. âYou know what I want.â
She does.
I know she does because she wonât look at me.
Not even when she says it.
âPleaseâ¦â Swallowing, she gives it to me. âDimitri.â
Itâs worse than never hearing it at all. Thereâs no kindness to it. No softness. Used to be, sheâd say my name and I could feel the lightness of it. I hated it at firstâresented the way it made me want to look at her mouth, watching the shape of it made fleshâuntil it just became a part of the bubble between us, quiet and so still that I could have covered myself in it and disappeared.
Now it just sounds hollow, reduced to cold bilabials and sterile consonants.
I tip my head back against the headboard and finish her off in exactly the same way. Mechanically, like itâs nothing more than a task. Even when sheâs arching against me and coming apart, mouth opened on a cry that the others are destined to hear, I just press my fingers to her soft places and feel nothing of it.
I leave her on the bed, breathless and red-faced, forehead shining with sweat, and disappear into the bathroom to jerk off.
On my way out, I grab the wrist cuff sheâd removed before getting in the bath, and then throw her a rag, not watching as she silently cleans herself up. Her eyes follow me around the room as I grab a couple blankets from the closet, laying one on the bed for her, and the other on the couch.
For me.
She stops me when I go to grab a pillow. âWait.â
I look down at her, and Iâm pissed off because Iâve apparently lost all my ground with this girl, and I donât even know why or how. But thereâs something else underneath all the ire.
I think this must be what rejection feels like.
It makes me want to strike out, to tell her sheâs a whore for letting me do that when she clearly doesnât want me. I want to tell her to go back to her brother, whoâll tear her open and manhandle her, but is apparently more appealing than me. I want to tell her sheâs not that special, anyway, and that Iâve had better, easier, prettier girls than her.
All the lies die in my throat at the look of bald panic in her eyes.
âAre youâ¦mad?â
Maybe she doesnât want me like she had before, but she canât afford to have another one of us looking to use and taunt and hurt.
So I shove the feeling down, reaching down to take her hand. Her arm is limp when I raise her wrist, gently snapping the cuff into place. âWeâre good,â I say, knowing all the while that weâre not. âGo to sleep.â