XXII | Mizpah

That's Cole ^up there^. But again, imagine him as you want to. :)

What makes you think he's not just going to kill you?

Kaleb's question had wrapped its cold fingers around her heart and had been squeezing since she'd left him, still sleeping, in the woods. It felt like a tiny shard of glass was stuck in her foot; she could avoid it if she were careful, but she always knew it was there, was always thinking about it. Because, if she forgot, it would come back to hurt her.

She remembered so vividly how bloodthirsty this lycanthrope was, the one that she was practically going to waltz right up to like everything was normal. Walking through the woods felt like a death march. She felt as though she was slogging through thick mud, even if it was only the usual undergrowth. But she had one hope, one little glimmer of faith. She'd been thinking about what she could do as Kaleb slept, and one realization had sparked her entire plan.

This man, this murderer, had been obsessed with Kaia's mother. She'd been his weakness. Maybe Kaia could take advantage of that. The guy seemed just as obsessed with Kaia as he had been with her mother. When she'd touched that feather in her dream, she had seen a glimpse of his twisted mind: he wanted something from her and wouldn't kill her until he got it. If he needed something that she had, she had leverage. She could outsmart him and discover just what it was that he was hiding.

Kaia was a mystery to herself. It was ironic that precisely what she didn't understand about herself--her visions--were also what might give her answers. Kaia had learned to accept that sometimes she just knew things, that her intuition was usually more than just a hunch. She knew which direction to walk in, that he wasn't far, but she wouldn't have been able to explain how she knew as much.

Still, it felt strange to hang one's hopes on the whims of a murderer, her mother's murderer; there were so many maybes. The more she thought about it, the more she felt her nerves shift into anger, hatred. Perhaps it was because of everything she'd been through, having brushed closer to oblivion than she ever had before, but she was starting to see death as just a part of being alive. It was inconsequential.

There were so many things more important than death.

Kaia's heart twisted painfully in her chest, both from anger and from longing, regret. The look on Kaleb's face when she'd told him she was leaving had practically killed her. You don't understand, Kaleb, her soul screamed, I have to do this for both of us.

Kaia hadn't known what to say to protect his heart. It was such a delicate thing, sheltered within his tough Alpha shell. Kaia felt as though she'd found a crack in his armor and taken advantage of it, found her way past it and then destroyed everything fragile inside with just a touch.

When she'd told him what his part was, he hadn't been happy. He'd looked at her like she was a little crazy. It was unfair that she'd ask so much of him. It didn't make sense what she was doing, but nothing ever made sense anymore. Despite everything, he'd accepted his role as Kaia had known he would. It was the only choice she'd given him.

Kaia loved Kaleb for the freedom he gave her. She knew he could have stopped her, could have convinced her to stay. But instead, he'd listened to her, understood how important this was to her, and let her go.

It felt cruel to leave him. Maybe the stabbing pain in her heart was what she deserved. But at least she'd gotten her last kiss, her last look at him. She'd been able to steal that from him.

No, not last. Kaia couldn't think like that. She had to have faith.

But even so, the possibility was there. That man could do anything to Kaia. Kaleb had been right; she was practically defenseless against a lycanthrope, especially one so insane. But she'd had to do something, and however slim the chances of success were, they still existed.

When Kaia emerged from the tree line, the moment felt like a turning point. She could go back and find Kaleb. It honestly seemed like a more logical decision. But if she did that, she'd never find out the truth. She had to remember that she wasn't in this alone. Kaleb was still with her, helping her from the outside. They had to rely on each other, trust each other, even from far apart. The conventional logic she'd lived her life by, the human reasoning she'd been born with, didn't have a place in the reality she lived now.

When that man had been in her head, she'd felt something. He had given her a distinct oozy feeling. But there was something that stood out, like vines twisting around her and drawing her in where the rest repelled her. She knew that she had to go to him, that there was something he wasn't telling her.

No matter how much she already despised him, she had to know. Maybe it was some psychic connection that she didn't quite understand yet; her snapshots had been getting more vivid, and she'd been able to control them better as of late, but she suspected there were still secrets about herself she didn't know yet.

Kaia hoped that the phrase 'curiosity killed the cat' wouldn't apply to her situation.

☾

"Kaleb, you're trapped in a car with me and no one else. Are you finally going to tell me what's going on?" Lionel asked, shifting in his seat so that he could stare at Kaleb.

Kaleb frowned. It felt like saying it out loud would make it real. My mate is going to meet a murderer, and I'm letting her. "I'm...I don't even know."

"You don't know," Lionel repeated slowly, trying to understand that. After a moment of silence, Lionel's usual sarcasm reared its head, "Wonderful. You do know how that sounds, right?"

"Shitty?" Kaleb offered, taking his eyes off of the road for a moment to assess his friend's expression. Lionel looked his usual self, which was good, Kaleb supposed. It meant he wasn't annoyed or freaking out.

"Pretty much what I was going to say," Lionel said, "Or maybe cryptic?"

"I'm sorry," Kaleb sighed as he turned down a smaller, rockier road.

"Look, Kaleb. I'm your friend...your best friend if I do say so myself. And I do," Lionel said, his voice matter of fact, "So you know I'm on your side no matter what. But right now, all I know is that Kaia is gone, and you're limping around like a kicked dog."

"What?" Kaleb asked, surprised. Did he look that bad? He thought he'd covered it up.

"Them's the facts, Kaleb," Lionel murmured, "You look like death, and you know more than you're telling me."

Kaleb was quiet for a long moment. What was he thinking, honestly? Did he think that he could just...not tell Lionel? He'd find out eventually. Kaleb was going to have to explain the whole story soon enough. "Do you remember when Kaia had that nightmare?" Kaleb asked.

"How could I not?" Lionel asked, "I still have the haunted expression on her face burned into my retinas."

Kaleb clenched his jaw, remembering it. Lionel had pretty much summed it up. Kaia had looked terrified, broken. Gone. He'd been able to bring her back, but he couldn't predict what would happen to her in this murderer's hands. Would he be able to bring her back after this?

"I turned during the Lunar Ceremony, and it was a thousand times easier with her there," Kaleb said, "But after...she had another nightmare."

"Does this happen a lot?"

"I'm not sure. But Lion, her nightmares aren't just nightmares. I told you to heighten security around the mansion after her first nightmare, remember?" Lionel nodded, and Kaleb continued. "Her nightmares are real; she has visions when she touches other people. From the moment I met her, I knew Kaia was different. When she dreamed of him the first time, I knew that he'd touched her somehow, sometime. He was close."

"That makes complete sense," Lionel said immediately.

Kaleb looked at his friend, but Lionel didn't have that mischievous glint in his eyes that indicated he was telling a joke. He seemed earnest, and as if on cue, he said, "I'm serious. Kaia has always been different. She's a human mated to an Alpha, a human Luna. I knew from the moment I met her that she'd be special somehow."

"But she's more than just special, Lion," Kaleb said immediately, his hands tightening on the wheel, "She's mine. I have to keep her safe."

"Ok," Lionel replied, "Tell me what you need from me. I'll do anything."

"Kaia said that she had to find her mom's murderer," Kaleb said quickly.  He wanted to finish his explanation before they arrived at their destination. "But she didn't tell me everything. Her second nightmare was different from the first. He spoke to her directly this time. He told her that she couldn't say anything to me."

"Their mom was murdered?" Lionel looked genuinely traumatized, then his eyes focused again, "Wait, are you sure that it's the same murderer?" Lionel asked, "It sounds a little...unclear."

"Kaia seemed convinced," Kaleb answered, "But like I said, I don't know the whole story. She only told me what I had to do. If I knew anything more, I'd be in danger. He can do what she does...however she does it. That's why she thinks she'll get answers from him." His voice sounded angrier than he'd meant. The loss he felt at not having Kaia by his side was staggering like someone had leaned down and gouged out a gaping hole in his stomach. The only things he could fill it with were worry and anger.

"It sounds like there's a 'but' coming," Lionel prodded.

"But," Kaleb continued, "Even if she didn't tell me where she was going, Kaia said that she had a plan. Again, she didn't tell me all of it, but she told me what we needed to do."

"Which is...?"

"Not something I'd choose if I had any say in the matter," Kaleb grumbled as he pulled into the driveway.

"What? Is this it?" Lionel asked, unbuckling himself and popping the passenger door open. "Whose house is this?"

Kaleb sighed, "Kaia's." Kaleb didn't have the best memories of this house, but it's what Kaia had asked him to do. He wouldn't let her down. She needed him now just as much as he needed her.

Lionel's eyes went wide, "What? You can't be here! He shot you! Oh shit, wait. I can't be here."

"Why can't you be here?" Kaleb asked, a little confused. There was something Lionel wasn't saying. "You're not the one he shot."

"I'm, uh..." Lionel hesitated, "I'm a lycanthrope, too. Isn't her dad crazy?" But that answer didn't seem like the whole truth; sure, it had merit, but something was missing. Lionel looked more nervous than he should have.

"He's..." Kaleb tried to find a word to describe Kaia's dad but fell short. All he could manage was, "...got problems."

"Right," Lionel deadpanned, "So why exactly would Kaia send us here?"

Kaleb slipped out of the car and walked up onto the porch. He wasn't happy to be here, to have to risk running into Kaia's dad again. Kaia had said that he'd be out in the early afternoon. The goal was to find her brother, Cole. Kaleb knocked lightly on the door, hoping against hope that it wouldn't be her dad that opened up.

Kaleb had been hurt before, stabbed, shot, broken. The wolfsbane bullet had been new, of course, but he was familiar with pain. It wasn't anger that he felt towards her father; it was more like pity, maybe shame. If he were ever angry at that man, it was for Kaia's sake, not his own. Kaleb would have preferred to avoid being shot again, though.

"I guess you'll do the talking, then," Lionel grumbled, "Can I wait in the car?"

Kaleb was about to ask why Lionel was acting so strange, but the door opened before he could. He felt a shot of adrenaline before Kaleb turned to see who'd opened it up and then soothing relief when he saw that it wasn't Kaia's dad.

"You're Cole?" Kaleb asked. The guy in front of them looked nothing like Kaia did. He had dark, curly hair and was well built, maybe even a bit taller than Kaleb was. He had brown eyes where Kaia had those endlessly black ones.

"You," he said, his eyes widening. He jabbed his pointer finger into Lionel's chest and narrowed his eyes, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Lion, you know each other?" Kaleb blurted, confused. Kaleb hadn't even met Cole before, despite the fact that--Kaia had told him--Cole was the reason he'd survived the wolfsbane bullet.

"We...may or may not have met at the Mansion when you were bleeding out," Lionel said quietly and absurdly quickly. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets, and his shoulders were practically by his ears. And was that...was that a blush?

"Why the hell are you here?" Cole asked, his question directed towards Lionel.

"Uh...it's about Kaia," Lionel said awkwardly.

"Kaia?" Cole asked immediately, his tone suddenly snapping from angry to worried so fast Kaleb got whiplash. "What about her? What happened?"

"She told me to come here," Kaleb explained quickly.

"You shouldn't be here," Cole said as if he'd suddenly--finally--realized that Kaleb was present, "Why would she tell you to come here? It's dangerous for you."

"Is your dad here?" Kaleb asked, crossing his arms over his chest as if to show how resolute he was.

Cole shook his head, "No, but he'll be back."

"Because this situation wasn't already awkward enough," Lionel said impassively, "We need a crazy guy to join the party."

"He's not crazy," Cole shot back, "He's just..."

Lionel frowned when Cole couldn't finish his sentence, and graciously offered his assistance, "Crazy." Cole didn't look pleased.

"Cole," Kaleb interrupted, "Kaia told me to deliver a message to you and that you'd know what it meant."

"A message? Why couldn't she tell me herself?" Cole asked, but the defeated expression on his face said that he already knew the answer.

"She went to find your mom's murderer," Kaleb said as if he were pleading guilty in front of a jury. Kaleb felt like he was the one in the wrong, despite how sure he'd been that he had to let her go. Something in Kaia's eyes had told him that she needed to do this. He wanted to show her that he trusted her. But either way, it all still felt wrong.

Kaleb had been expecting shock and worry, but the anger that came pouring out of him like a stampede of horses was something else. "What the hell were you thinking!? Why would you let her do that? What were..." Then Cole got so angry that he just stopped talking, gripping his head so tightly it was like he was trying to hold it together, else it would explode.

"She has a plan. You shouldn't-" Lionel started, but Cole wouldn't have it. He whirled on Lionel and slammed him against the wall.

"You have no right to tell me what to do," Cole growled, "She's my sister, and I've spent my entire life protecting her, trying to keep her from exactly where she is right now. How would you feel if your brother was in her place?"

Lionel's face darkened, and he turned a little pale. "Exactly," Cole said, easing off of Lionel before turning back to Kaleb, fuming. "Tell me what she said."

Kaleb stared at Cole for a long moment and thanked the universe that he wasn't his father. If he were, Lionel would be bleeding right now. But Cole was keeping it together remarkably well, probably better than Kaleb was. "Mizpah," he replied.

Kaleb had no idea what the word meant. He'd never heard it before. But Cole seemed to understand its meaning. His eyes widened and his jaw set. "Ok," was all he said.

"What's Mizpah?" Lionel asked, having regained his color. He was pushy, as usual.

Cole sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, closing his eyes and bowing his head, "It's a Hebrew word or name or something, originally from the Bible, I think."

"Kaia knows Hebrew?" Lionel blurted.

"No," Cole said sharply, looking at Lionel, "But she knows that word. We both do. Because of what it means. She googled it one day, so who even knows if it's correct. But to us...it helped us the day we visited the place where our mom died."

Cole ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "It means a bond between people even when they're separated," Cole explained. His voice was rocky like he was sharing a part of himself he hadn't shown anyone but Kaia. "Either by distance...or by death."

The meaning sunk into Kaleb lightly, like a feather falling to the ground. It was equally beautiful. The thought of staying connected to people you've lost, that are far from you, unreachable...any world where Mizpah existed seemed too perfect to be real. Kaleb thought of his parents. About Kaia's mom. About Kaia.

It was a beautiful secret between siblings, a gift to a young Cole from Kaia to help him process their shared loss.

They were quiet for a moment too long. Kaleb wanted to hear what this all had to do with Kaia's plan. He hardly even noticed the softening of Lionel's expression. "Cole," Lionel started.

But Cole held up his hand, silencing Lionel. He turned around and walked back into the house, leaving the door open for them.

"Are you ok?" Kaleb asked as they followed Cole.

Lionel shook his head, "I'm fine. You?"

"Fine. But I have a feeling you're lying."

Lionel grinned, but his eyes were sad. "You, too."

Pity me, and give me votes and comments to feel better? Haha just kidding, but you should vote and comment if you liked it or if you've got any feedback. I love reading them!

On a separate note, in case you didn't pick up on it, Cole and Lionel do have a behind the scenes story going on. What do you think?