I | Woodsmoke and Fir Trees

Hey, guys! Welcome to my (first) story. Hope you enjoy!

Kaia had stopped being afraid of the dark a long time ago. One day, she'd woken up thirsty in the middle of the night and quietly walked through the dark, creaky house, forgetting to flip on all of the lights she usually did. She didn't need them.

She'd learned that there were much better things to fear than the dark.

Looking back, she couldn't remember exactly when it was that she'd stopped sleeping with the shades open so that the moonlight could glide into her room, illuminating her pillow and keeping her safe. It had happened sometime after Kaia's mom had died.

Like Kaia said, there were better things to fear than the dark. Like death. Like loneliness.

Kaia shivered even though she had a cup of warm hot chocolate snug between her hands. She took a sip to shake off the rest of the strange feeling that had washed over her.

She'd been feeling off all day, thinking about grim things. But that was to be expected. It was the anniversary of her mom's murder. She was sitting alone in her usual coffee shop, listening to music and pretending the world didn't exist for a moment. She needed a break from Cole and her dad. Hot chocolate and music was the solution.

She'd had that dream again, the same one that she always had around this time of the year. The world grew cold, and so did Kaia's heart. She was tired of it. The dream just made things hurt more. It wasn't the usual ones she had. It felt like a series of emotions passing by each other. A love the sort she'd never known. A sharp blade of anger. An empty, echoey pain. The darkness she experienced every time she had that dream was painful to look at, somehow blinding despite being devoid of any light.

Kaia's phone lit up, vibrating her rickety little table. She squinted at the screen. A message from 'Papa.'

Get home, or I'm coming to get you.

Kaia sighed. He would, too. He knew where she was, always did. So much for a break. She shook her head, staring at her pale hands. She wished to whoever was listening that she'd one day be able to pry the world open with those hands and dig out the treasures it had to offer. She wanted to live.

But such a feat seemed hard when she had a dad who barely let her outside. Having someone you love murdered...changes you.

Kaia took one last sip of her hot chocolate and set the mug down, gathering her things. Homeward bound, it was. She popped her earbuds out and tucked them away in her pocket, pulling her black scarf up over her ears to keep warm. It wasn't like New Mexico got too cold, but when you were up in the mountains, the winters could be nippy.

It was twilight now, Kaia's favorite time of the day. It was always quiet by then. The world was usually loud, but at twilight, it would shut up just enough for Kaia to get a little peace and quiet.

Living, for Kaia, was slow. She was homeschooled, rarely went out, and didn't like going to crowded areas. Her dad had asked her if other people made her nervous, but it wasn't anything like that. More than nervous, Kaia just felt disinterested. But...the world is beautiful if you look at it closely. Maybe she wasn't trying hard enough.

Kaia's pace slowed along the sidewalk. She'd have to cross the road up ahead but was in no rush. Her dad would have her head when she got back for staying out so late, but she didn't particularly care. She loved him for trying, but he'd changed after Kaia's mom died. He'd gotten distant like he didn't know what to do with Kaia or Cole now that he didn't have anyone to share the burden. And it wasn't like she had been particularly close to him before. Kaia had always been her mom's daughter.

The moon was just starting to appear above her head. Kaia leaned against one of the wooden fences that lined the road leading back to her house. The Neighborhood, Kaia's favorite and only coffee place, was only about a five-minute walk from home. Its proximity was the only reason why she was allowed there. Her dad would wonder why it had taken her so long to get back.

But the moon was beautiful. It was almost full, so close that she had to look closely to tell that it wasn't. An overwhelming sadness overcame Kaia. It was the anniversary, and Kaia was alone. She was still alone. For some reason, looking up at the moon was a reminder of how small she was...so why was it that her loneliness felt so endless?

You know, Kaia... Her mom's words surfaced out of the blue. She couldn't remember what her voice sounded like, though. It had been too long, and there were no videos or recordings to remind Kaia. It was terrifying how quickly things like that faded.

...He'll come. One day, you'll have a boy to look after you instead of me.

Kaia wiped away a tear before it could fall and squeezed her eyes shut. The afterimage of the moon hovered behind her eyelids. She'd been so young when her mom had said that. It had been a joke meant to make a young Kaia laugh little bells. Indeed, Kaia had squirmed and frowned at the thought of a boy, but now that she was nineteen the idea didn't seem so horrible. Kaia just...didn't want to be alone.

When Kaia's eyes opened, it was in shock. The most fantastic smell had hit her nose, forcing her to tilt her head up to catch it better. She inhaled deeply, letting it fill her up. It smelled like...a weird mixture of woodsmoke and fir trees. Kaia looked around, curious about its origin. She wasn't near any trees, so it wasn't that. But then it vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared.

An odd experience, without a doubt, but not bizarre enough to put her life on pause. She hugged herself, continuing on her way. Another shiver ran through her. This time it was because a feeling had sprung up in the pit of her stomach, a strange nervousness. Her heart beat quickly the rest of the way home. When she finally got back and shut the door behind her, she leaned heavily against it and closed her eyes again.

She remembered that smell, especially how it had made her skin tingle. Her mom's words echoed in her head again. If you do anything at all, Kaia, do it with all the passion you can muster. Don't settle for anything less.

Kaia wondered if that was why she was alone; no matter what stranger she interacted with, even against her dad's wishes, she could never muster the energy for opening herself up to them. She wasn't sure why. Then her mom's words came again.

You know, Kaia, he'll come.

"Kaia, what took you so long to get back here? I texted you fifteen minutes ago," her dad said, rounding the corner. He must have heard the door shut. He stared at her, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

"Sorry," she said quietly. "I...got distracted. My head hurts a lot." Mostly the truth, but she wasn't about to mention how badly she hadn't wanted to come home. Her dad wouldn't have that, and she didn't need to make his job harder. The headache part was entirely accurate, though. A splitting headache had come out of nowhere.

"It's dangerous for you outside this late at night," he said, ushering her farther inside with a hand on her back. "And you're cold. Take a warm bath. We'll talk later."

Kaia smiled to herself. That sounded nice.

☾

Kaia lifted her hand, watching little waterfalls cascade off of her skin as she did. She stared at her legs, so long that they pressed up against the far side of the tub, and sighed.

A knock came at the door. "Kaia, you've been in there for a century."

A helpful reminder from her little brother, Cole, who was about as impatient as a seventeen-year-old can get. "Give the rest of the world a turn."

Footsteps stomped away as Cole left the door. Kaia sighed. She probably had around ten minutes before Cole somehow managed to unlock the door and barge in. He'd done it before, and he'd do it again. The bath was helping, but her head was still pounding a bit. Her brother, on the other hand, wasn't helping at all.

Kaia looked out the window, high on the wall above the tub. The room was dark. Kaia hadn't bothered to turn the lights on when she'd climbed into the water. The moon was bright enough that she didn't need them. She liked the moonlight. Her skin looked pale and perfect underneath it. Her long, platinum blonde hair looked almost silver.

Kaia jerked upright, lifting her nose up to the air again. It was that smell from earlier, but this time it was stronger, closer. Kaia gripped the edge of the tub. It was so cold under her pruney fingers.

For some reason, she was compelled to look out the window. So...she did. She eased herself upright, standing so that she could peek over the window frame. The window looked down at their house's little backyard on the edge of the forest, right near a little canyon.

Kaia stared at the moon again for a moment, intimidated by the longing that sprung up whenever she inhaled. That scent, now reminding her of woodsmoke, made Kaia think of better times, of pure happiness. It was sweet. So, so sweet.

And then something caught Kaia's eye. Something was shifting along the forest edge. Whatever it was, it was big and black, causing sticks to crack and branches to whip around as it brushed past. Kaia stared, squinting and leaning forward so that she could see it better.

If she'd been younger, she'd have been too afraid to look. But not now. Now, this mystery was intriguing. The tiny drop of fear in her veins only made it more exciting.

Kaia watched the massive shape move silently along the edge of the forest, stalking back and forth as if it were hesitant to venture further. Kaia tilted her head to the side, entranced. It was elegant despite its size. Its every movement was calculated, deliberate.

A set of yellow eyes flashed up at her and she froze. They bore into her, staring up at her from where the shadows hid the creature they belonged to. Kaia was scared at first. She couldn't even move.

She began to shiver. His eyes didn't stray from her. Gradually, she realized that he was there for her. She could understand him so clearly. It was like she could hear what he was thinking, and her fear melted. He was, indeed, there for her. He thought she was beautiful, a silver goddess shining a light down on him from high above his head.

Kaia was his moon, and he didn't even know her name.

Then Kaia realized that she was still completely naked, staring at a shifty stranger who was lurking in the bushes. She quickly covered herself with a squeak and stashed herself away under the water, feeling it burn her cooled skin.

Bumps had sprung up on her arms, and she rubbed them vigorously until they faded. Kaia reached forward and pulled hard. The usual gurgling noise indicated that the tub was draining.

Kaia shakily stood again and wrapped herself in a crisp white towel, squeezing the excess water out of her hair. The smell of fir trees hadn't entirely faded from her nose when she went to stand in front of the foggy mirror.

She sighed. She could still feel him all around her. A part of her felt uneasy, but some irrational piece of her heart was whispering excitedly. She felt more alive than she had in a long time.

Kaia had heard in the past that she was lovely. She had skin so pale and creamy she seemed a sheltered princess. She was tall, thin, and delicate, with long, platinum hair that fell in soft whispers around her chest. Beyond pretty, her face carried echoes of her mother's exotic heritage, with dark almond eyes that stood out on her face and full lips that looked like they should always be spinning fantastic tales. Her slightly unusual features were one of the few things she'd gotten from her mom; she'd also inherited a habit of tilting her head to the side just right which made her seem mysterious and clever.

But there is often a difference between what people say and how you feel. Just out of the bath, she could only imagine that she looked like a pathetic wet dog. Her face was a bit blotchy and red from the steaming water. There was a hauntingly empty look about her. The usual spark in her eyes was missing. She looked like the ghost of herself. Yes, she was beautiful, but in a bedraggled sort of manner; she had lost so much, and anyone looking at her now would be able to tell.

But, Kaia remembered as tingles danced around her pale skin...that's not how he saw her.

In his eyes, she glowed. The wet tendrils of her hair, stuck to her shoulders and her shivering chest, looked like silver rivers gloriously falling between her breasts. Her pale, milky skin was like a canvas waiting for him to paint it with his dark colors. To him, she was the moon. To him, she was so agonizingly tempting, maybe even dangerously so. If he were to reach out and touch her with just the tips of his fingers, he doubted he'd be able to stop again.

She looked like hope.

Kaia hugged herself, letting that exquisite image fill her heart up. Because, at that moment, she wasn't alone. That was all that Kaia had ever wanted.

So a pretty quiet first chapter, but just wait!

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