Chapter Twenty Six - The Dam Shall Burst

Cornelius woke a little before noon, the sun having finally found the correct angle to beam through the crack in the heavy curtains to fall upon his pale face. He rolled over in his large bed, in an attempt to avoid the bright light only to lie on a full bladder that screamed in need of relief. Unable to ignore the calls of the day, he shuffled off of the bed, slightly aware that he had crawled onto it fully dressed and headed straight for the chamber pot in the far corner. He really ought to curb the late nights where he worked until his eyes could no longer see and his fingers could barely move. It was just, he thought with a heavy sigh, Matthew had left the residence a few weeks prior and rather than linger in depression due to his absence, he shut himself away in the workshop in the basement instead.

Miss him, he thought, as he descended to see what he could scrounge from the kitchen. Miss his company, his silly jokes that only he found amusing and especially miss his cooking. Finding an apple, that did not appear to be too old and a slightly dry crust of bread leftover that Matthew's apprentice had purchased two days ago, he slowly choked the meagre meal down with a little watered down ale. Ah! When will Matthew come back!

Each time the man left on business or for family matters, there was a sense of relief as well as a hint of loss. He loved him so much, yet he could only watch as his 'friends' visited with their sisters and his family visited with their 'friends'. He could no longer count the number of times a madam had visited with her unwed daughter in tow. Matthew, as expected from a young master, was amicable with all, speaking with words that meant neither rejection nor promises. The girls and their chaperones all left both feeling satisfied and yet feeling as if they have attempted to grasp air. But each visit wounded Cornelius just a tad more. And yet the thought of not being able to see Matthew everyday hurt more so, so their ambiguous relationship continued.

I cannot be his wife nor mother to his children, but at least I can be his friend... this thought often tumbled through his mind.

He was about to return to his room and try to sleep a little more, when he heard a sound coming from Matthew's office. The apprentice was usually out at this time so after grabbing one of Matthew's canes from the vase in the hallway, he slowly approached the room only to find the man he longed for asleep on the small hard couch beneath the window. His long body was practically folded in two as he curled into the awkward space. His soft snores blew loose strands of his blue-black hair away from his nose briefly, before they settled back about his face. A slight frown wrinkled his forehead and his lips formed a pout. Cornelius chuckled inwardly, feeling the weight of his woes suddenly lift from his shoulders and disperse. He grabbed a blanket from the drawing room and went to settle it over the man.

His eyes fell upon the other's mouth and he wondered if those lips were as soft as they appeared. Perhaps it was due to his unstable state in that moment, emotions welling to the point they could not longer be contained and spilled from his heart in the form of actions rather than words, but Cornelius knelt and brushed those tempting still lips with his own. They were soft, he thought, dreamily as he pulled away only to find two wide eyes staring hungrily at him.

****

Matthew had stumbled back into his house at some point near to daybreak, having decided he had put up with his mother's shenanigans long enough. He had initially been summoned... requested... to attend a party to be thrown by his second brother's wife in celebration of her youngest son's fifth birthday. There had been a couple of her friends in attendance with their small children and their sisters, who just happened to be of marriageable age. He had been less than impressed by this and their manner was only slightly more subtle than Nellie, for rather than asking how many children he wanted in the future(as she had done), they had mentioned how nice it must be to be a mother enjoying her children's youth, do you not agree, Master Westcott?

His second brother had apologised three times, when confronted, saying that Matthew was too much about work and not enough about play and that they only wanted him to be happy. Matthew had retorted that was the family not previously concerned that he played too hard and needed a wife to settle him down? Such hypocrisy! And just when his mother, the one truly concerned about his marital status, realised he was about to leave to return to the city and once more out of her reach, she had begged him to visit the family home. Oh how his father and eldest brother missed him!

His father had been surprised to see him, his brother less so (as his wife had already advised him of his mother's scheming). Matthew had nearly left there and then, but due to prompting by Lady Westcott, his father had began to converse about Matthew's business with him and by the time he'd realised the trap, he had had to retire to his old room for the night. He would have left the next day, had his sister-in-law not asked for his company into town, brother was too busy and with the day ending late, he was forced to remain in the family estate.

The game continued, with an old friend of his father's dropping by with a business proposal that Matthew could not help but look into. This would go a long way to stabilise his small business and he might even see some profit at the end of the year. This matter had taken several days until a written proposal was developed between the two men with a promise to meet in the city with their lawyers to create a firm contract. Matthew thought about how he should have his apprentice involved, a boy he'd picked off of the street due to a mission prompt and who now resided in the guest room of the townhouse. The boy was quick to learn and worked from dawn to dusk, desperate to prove himself. Matthew made him take two days a week for himself, less he collapse from exhaustion.

Just as Matthew felt the time was ripe to return home, desperate to see the lover he had yet to touch for fear of scaring him away, his mother had thrown an 'impromptu' ball. Nonsense! It was entirely planned! One cannot throw such a lavish party with guests from far a field on a whim! And while there were a slim number of bachelor acquaintances and a batch of fresh male youths were mixed in to the colourful crowd, it was hard to fail to notice that there were many, many more maidens seeking to don a stunning dress of silk and lace and speak their vows in front of God. Were they not all 'refined' young ladies, surely they would have waved their dance cards beneath his nose, rather than subtlety fingering them at corseted waist.

He drank a fair crown too much, attempting to if not drown the anger flaming within him, to at least water it to embers. Of course, upon the surface, he had remained polite if not a little cold, to these young girls and their mothers, who endlessly boasted about their darlings as if their words could capture his interest. But alas for them, the only person he was interested in was tucked away in the city and the only thing he was interested in was returning to said person and thoroughly loving them.

It was most assuredly time to leave when, the following day, his mother had begun prompting responses to her questioning as she tried to see if there was indeed a potential wife amongst her guests. With a headache caused by alcohol and a temper caused by a certain absence of presence, he told her off and stated that whilst he was thankful for her thoughts and care, should she not let him alone, he shall leave the family estate and never return! To which his mother had burst into tears and he had crumbled into pacifying her, begging her to understand that he simply did not wish to wed and throwing girls at him would not change his mind. And eventually, his father had interceded with a "I did warn you that he would not be pleased should you do this," which set off a whole new round of tears as his mother claimed that Matthew needed a wife and children in his life or else how would he know true happiness.

"Mother," he said, a slight plea in his tone, pleading for her understanding. "I truly am happy with my life as it is and should a person turn my head and make me want more, then I will surely be blessed more so. But please understand, waving unwed maidens and their desperate mothers beneath my nose does not make me happy at all."

His mother relented, but he was already wise enough to see that it was a temporary retreat and thus he had saddled his horse and left for the city. The journey took two days and after leaving the horse at the stables at the city outskirts, had found it too late to hail a taxi, so had walked all night, longing for home. He had even been too exhausted to climb the stair to his room, opting for the closer, if uncomfortable couch in his office, where he had fallen asleep immediately.

Only to be woken by a soft kiss.

He had thought it a dream, would have assumed it a dream, had he not seen his lover's slightly dazed face hovering before him. The deep, unsated need rose like a wave within him and he barely heard Cornelius's stuttered excuses; "I'm so s-sorry, I d-don't know w-what c-came over me!"

Matthew grasped the back of Cornelius's head, pulling him closer until he could capture those lips with his own. The one sided kiss was rough, desperate and filled with longing. A soft sigh spilled from Cornelius's throat before he tentatively returned the kiss. As if a dam burst within him, his hidden love rushed forward as he pressed himself against Matthew in order to deepen the kiss. Matthew was not unwilling, gathering Cornelius deeper into his embrace. The men clung to each other until breathless.

"Cornelius..?" There was a hesitant, questioning tone to Matthew's husky voice. Cornelius had buried his face into his hands worrying what his friend would do.

"I'm sorry! I know it's wrong, I know you may hate me for it, but..." Cornelius whispered quickly as if his courage would flee him should he pause. "I love you. Not like a brother, not like a friend, like... like..."

"A lover?" Matthew asked, still holding Cornelius close, fearing if he let go the other would flee. Cornelius nodded. "Cornelius, I don't hate you, I could never hate you."

"You don't?"

Matthew shook his head before gently lifting Cornelius face with his fingers so that he might see into the others eyes. "Cornelius, I love you too."

"You do?"

"I do," Matthew told him. "I've loved you for a long time now, so much that I wished to hold you tight to me and never, ever let you go. But I feared I would frighten you were I to show you just how much you mean to me. Cornelius, can I kiss you again?" The man blushed brightly, but nodded and the otherwise quiet room became filled with sounds of wet kisses, gasps and soft moans.