28: Riley

The words, "I'm gay," keep playing on repeat in my head and I'm stunned at Quinn's confession.

I don't know, but she just didn't ever come across as gay to me. Maybe I'm just stereotyping what lesbians looks like. I should really stop that.

So, she's gay. So what?

Wait, what does this mean to me?

I have feelings for her and I thought she was straight, but she isn't. So this whole plan has failed. Things just got a hundred times harder. Maybe I have a chance with her now?

Oh my god, stop that thought right now. I'm with Mason. Let me repeat I'm with Mason. There is no chance with Quinn because she is just a friend and Mason is so much more to me. He's my best friend, I've always loved him and he's always been so kind and I trust him. Can I say the same about Quinn?

I know she's a good person, but it doesn't sound worth it to throw everything away that I have with Mason for Quinn. She might not even like me in that way, just because she's gay doesn't mean she likes me in that way. Plus what if things don't go well between us, that's okay that's life. But I can't imagine my life without Mason there. I need to be with him, it's right. I think.

I can still be friends with Quinn though. So what if I have feelings, it's not important to me. Quinn's friendship is so much more important. I don't want to lose her.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asks me, I snap out of it and look at her, she looks very concerned and slightly afraid.

It hits me that I haven't said a word since she came out to me. That must be such an awful thing to go through. To come out and have the person say nothing to you. I'm fucking up now. I don't want to continue hurting her.

"Quinn, I don't care that you're gay. It doesn't change anything," I finally say.

Quinn takes a deep breath and relaxes her shoulders a bit. I hadn't noticed that she was barely breathing or that she was so tensed. I was thinking about myself instead of thinking about Quinn. I'm so stupid.

"I was scared to lose you for a second," she whispers out while looking down at her feet. Her words break my heart. She would never lose me, I would never leave her behind. I was worried it was the other way around.

Without thinking I walk a few steps towards her and I pull her in for a tight hug. Quinn wraps her arms around me and lowers her head so that it's resting on mine since she is a bit taller than me.

"I'm not going anywhere," I whisper back.

After a bit we both pull back and I notice a few tears rolling down her cheeks. I raise my hand so that I had wipe the tears away and Quinn gives me a small smile that makes my heart beat like crazy.

"It's my turn to wipe those tears away and be here for you," I tell her. Quinn smiles widely and she pulls me in for another hug.

I add, "I'm sorry for today. I know it's been a shitty day. I'm really sorry for sitting this all up. I won't do something without asking for your permission again."

"It's not a totally horrible day. There is still a lot left to do at this carnival that I know will be fun," she replies.

We break apart from the hug and give each other another smile before heading back to the arcades. I'm going to stop this horrible date idea now. I'm not going to make Quinn interact with Joshua any longer.

We make it back inside and I notice that the guys are still throwing basketballs. I walk to them with Quinn right behind me. I try to grab Mason's attention, but he is so focused on beating Joshua. So I walk over to Joshua and try to talk to him, but it's no use.

"Alright, so you guys continue playing because this double date is over. I'm going to hang out with Quinn for the rest of the day," I yell at them.

I don't get a reply back so I simply turn around and grab Quinn's hand to lead her away from the crowds of people watching Mason and Joshua play.

"What now?" Quinn's asks.

"We have fun," I reply as I pull her to the dance game. Quinn's face instantly light up and she jumps around in excitement. I may suck at dancing, but I'll do anything to see Quinn this happy. I'm going to make the rest of the night amazing for her. I owe her that at least for making her go though all of this.

Quinn starts the machine and we try to follow the moves that are displayed on the screen. Quinn is doing amazing as always and I'm barely keeping up. It's going so fast and I'm trying hard not to fall down as I mirror the moves on the screen. After a while, I forget about my nerves and just start having fun along with Quinn. We are laughing like crazy and I know I'll remember this moment forever.

After playing a few rounds, we decide to take a break since I'm dying. I'm so exhausted and look like a sweaty mess. Quinn just chuckles and grabs my hand to pull me to another game. We intertwine our hands and I can't help but admit that it's the best feeling. I have goosebumps all over and the butterflies in my stomach are going insane.

Quinn leads me to the skee ball machines and we play side by side. I'm much better at this than Quinn is so I redeem myself from dancing. We play for a while until I've beaten Quinn five time in a row and she's had enough.

"That's no fair, you have to let me win at least one," she pouts.

I chuckle and poke her cheek which makes her smile. I know she can't stay angry at me, neither can I get angry with her.

"Want to get out of the arcade section and head to the rides?" I ask her. She immediately says yes and we leave.

While trying to figure out which ride we want to go on, Quinn turns around points to a carnival game where you have to fill up a balloon by spraying water at the clown. I roll my eyes before Quinn drags me over to it. We pay for the game and sit down to grab our water guns to get ready. We wait until the bell rings than we start spraying the clown with water. I have much better aim than Quinn so I easily inflate the balloon until it pops. Meanwhile, Quinn's balloon is barely just getting inflated.

Everyone cheers for me and the man working at the game hands me a tiger plush toy. I grab it and thank him. Quinn and I walk away and I hand her the plush toy.

"You won it though, why give it to me?" She asks. She's right. Why did I just hand it to her all of a sudden? Maybe I just wanted to give her a present I guess. I just want to make her happy.

"Well you've lost so many times. I wouldn't want your spirit to get crushed," I tease. She rolls her eyes at me and takes the tiger. She looks at it and then hugs it tightly to her chest. The action is so cute and soft, I can't help but want to wrap her in my arms.

I think I might be jealous of that tiger right now.

"Want to go on the rides now?" I ask. Quinn says yes and we walk over to the lines. There aren't that many people for this small roller coaster, so we get on pretty fast. Quinn and I sit down and we get strapped in. We are so close together, literally side by side. Maybe I didn't exactly think this whole thing through.

The ride starts and of we go up and down, side to side. We are going pretty fast and I get a bit scared at a dip and I unconsciously grab Quinn's arm. I wrap my hands around her arm and hold on for dear life. The ride feels like it goes forever and I scoot closer to Quinn to the point where I am covering my face with her shoulder.

For fucks sake, when will this end!!!!

"Riley? The ride is over. It's been over for a few seconds now. Everyone is getting up now," Quinn comments.

I glance around and see everyone leaving the ride. I give a sheepish smile and look up at Quinn.

"Hmm, I guess someone is afraid of roller coasters," she says while smirking at me. "Going to let go of my arm, you've got one hell of a death grip."

I look down and notice I'm still holding onto her and I untangle my arms from hers. I scoot away a little bit to unbuckle the seat belt, but it's stuck. I groan and ask Quinn for help since she is already up. She giggles, but leans down to help me. It takes her a few seconds, but she unbuckled it and looks at me.

We are at eye level with each other right now and my face begins to turn red. I can feel all the heat rise to my cheeks and my heart starts pounding. Quinn is just a few centimeters away.

We stare at each other, neither of us trying to make a single movement. I could kiss her right now. All I would have to do is lean a little forward.

I look at her lips and feel so tempted.

Should I?

I shouldn't!

But I want to. So badly. So, so, badly.

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Author note: Am I really going to end on a cliffhanger? Yes, yes I will. Mwhahahaha.

Don't worry though, I will update the next chapter this week.

Also, I uploaded a new youtube video about a part of my coming out story. If you would like to watch it, click down below. Also, don't forget to like, comment and subscribe to my channel. I really enjoy making videos as much as writing. So, if you guys could support me there too it would mean the world to me.