Chapter 146

Jane I haven’t spoken to Ethan through the entire car ride to the capital. In fact, I was feeling so petty after he forced me to promise to leave him behind if the worst should happen, that I refused to sit next to him. Instead I climbed into the back seat and cuddled up to Linda, even knowing that I would be more likely to get car sick this way.

I’ve felt Ethan’s eyes on me throughout the trip, watching me with the sharp focus of a worried mate, and it’s taken all of my willpower not to cave and speak to him – or perhaps more likely, crawl into his la*p and cry. However thus far l’ve been able to hold out – letting him feel the depth of my anger and betrayal over his high-handed demand.

After many hours on the road, we’ve finally arrived.

Ethan parked the car outside of a small bed and breakfast, and Linda and I waited while he went inside to check for vacancies.

“How are you doing?” My friend asks, squeezing my hand.

“1 don’t know.” l answer honestly. “I’m really beside myself Linda. I don’t know how I’ll survive if anything happens to the pups… and now Ethan demanded this damned promise. I just want one day of my life to be without struggle – is that too much to ask?

“Of course not” She croons, “it’s only natural that you would want that – anyone would.”

“How about you?” l inquire. “This can’t have been easy for you.”

“Honestly?” Linda responds, “l’m glad that Eric and l got to be together as mates, no matter what else happens. If I lose him, I’ll always have those nights on the ship together… ” She trails off, looking into the distance and -I suspect -fighting tears. “But I really don’t want to lose him.” She admits thickly. “I only just got him. It would be too cruel to lose him so quickly:”

That’s kind of how l feel about Ethan” I confess. “I only just got him back. The pups only just got their father – I cant’ bear the idea of losing him.”

“Whatever the men say, you and I don’t have to abide by their rule. We’re strong, independent she-

wolves.” Linda suggests.

“He made me promise, Linda.” I explain, “a true, Alpha’s order. I can’t defy it.”

“Maybe.” She shrugs.”But he didn’t make me promise.”

Suddenly I realize she’s right. She – and Eric if we can find him – could rescue Ethan even if I cannot.

That idea gives me a spark of hope, but it certainly doesn’t fix everything. I’m more upset that Ethan made the request in the first place, then used his power to force the promise against my will. It was too reminiscent of our past, when the difference in our strength ended up costing me my freedom.

A minute later my door opens, and Ethan is there, smelling incredible and looking between Linda and I.

They have rooms available. Let’s take our things in and then we can strategize.”

I step out of the car, trying to brush past my mate, but l should have known better than to try. He catches me easily, pressing me up against the car and bracing his arms on either side of my body.

“Please don’t be cross with me, little wolf” He murmurs, nuzzling my neck.

I tilt my chin up defiantly. “l’m not cross.”

“You look cross.” He replies, grazing his knuckles over the high plane of my cheek.

“Well, I’m not” l insist, trying and falling to push past him.

“Janey Ethan rumbles, pulling me back and pressing up against me. I can feel every inch of his muscular body against my own, and his warmth seeps into my bones. My wolf is getting excited being so near her mate, and I have to forcibly push her back down.

I’m sorry.”

“If you were really sorry, you wouldn’t have done it.

“I grumble petulantly.

“Baby, look at me.” Ethan orders, an edge of steel in his beseeching tone. I turn my gaze up to his dark eyes, pouting petulantly. He circles his powerful hand around my nape, applying just enough pressure to make me squirm. “You know how much I love you, don’t you?”

“How much?” l ask, pecking up at him beneath my lashes.

Ethan chuckles, “To the ends of the earth and back.

“He professes, dropping a lingering k!ss to my l!ps. I want to turn my head away, but my wolf won’t let me.

Asking you to make that promise wasn’t any easier for me than it was for you.” He continues. “You think I like the idea of you all being without me, of not seeing the pups grow up? Of not being there to protect you? To miss out on another fifty or sixty years with my mate?

On having more babies with you?”

His words only remind me of the possible child in my womb, and I feel the emotion rising up inside me.

I don’t want to live without Ethan either. I want my second chance with him, especially if we’re going tohave another baby. I had to do everything all alone the first time around, and he missed everything, We both deserve the chance to go through it all together.

“Ethan,” I’m tempted to tell him my suspicions – that there’s a chance I might be pregnant. I need him to do everything he can to stay free, to ensure he comes home with us. However, the more I think about that idea, the more I think it would be a mistake. My current pups are still in danger, and they need me. If Ethan thinks there’s a chance l’m pregnant he might forbid me from getting involved in the efforts to rescue them.I can’t have that either.

“What is it, sweetheart?” He prompts when I don’t continue.

“Do you really want more babies?” I end up asking.

“Four is already a whole pack.”

“You forget I’ve only had Paisley these last few years.” He reminds me. “l want as many babies with you as the Goddess is willing to grant us. I already love the others so much, and I barely know them.”

His words warm my heart, even as l’m daunted by the idea. Of course, this is the Ethan I always knew before things went wrong- the one with endless amounts of love to give.

“And if we never have any more?” I prompt.

Ethan furrows his brow. “Why are you asking me these things?”

The truth is I don’t know, I don’t have the faintest idea why l I’m being so contrary, other than the fact that Ethan is here in front of me, and I don’t want him to let go of me. I’m suddenly so afraid of losing him it’s staggering, and as long as he’s here – talking to me –I know he’s safe.

“I m just curious.” I murmur, sliding my hands around his wa!st.

“Janey, I love you. I love our family” He proclaims, k!ssing me deeply. For a blissful few minutes, I’m locked in my mate’s arms as his steady strength washes over me, and my own wolf perks up with excitement. My blood is heating in my veins, and despite the immediate danger, I’m feeling terribly needy. When we finally part, Ethan catches my face in his hands. “And I will carry on loving you all, no matter what the future will bring.

“But you have to be there for that future.” I remind him. “We need you. The pups need you, I need you.

“And I’m going to do everything I can to ensure we have a bright future together.” Ethan promises. “1 didn’t ask for your word because l didn’t want that – I did it purely because we have to be realistic. And the dangers here are undeniable. You have to know that I’d never willingly leave you.”

I nod, claiming his lips in a kiss of my own. “Just promise me you’ll fight. If l have to promise to let you go, promise you’ll fight until the very end.”

“Of course l promise.” Ethan agrees, gathering me to his ch3st. “I’ll fight until the end, no matter what happens.”

For the next few minutes, I forget that anything else exists beyond Ethan and I. We come together again, right there against the car. His hard body rocks against mine, and I wrap myself around him with pure adoration. How did I ever live without this man? How could I ever live without him again?

In a few hours, Anita will be crossing into the capital with our pups in tow. It’s going to take everything we have to intercept her before she reaches the king, but I’m grateful that we’re in this together.

Whatever else happens, Ethan and I will have each other, and together we can do anything. We’ll get our pups back, come hell or high water. I’ll make sure of it.

Next Chapter