Chapter 137

Jane I can’t lose them. I can’t.

When was the last time I held them? K!ssed them?

What were the last words I said to them? Do they know how close l am? Do they know how hard I’m trying to rescue them? I would give anything to have them safely home. I would gladly trade my own life for theirs, though I hope it won’t come to that. The pain comes and goes in waves, which is something of a blessing.

Just when it becomes so overwhelming that I think it will crush me completely, it ebbs away, replaced with a yawning emptiness that leaves me hollow but not miserable.

We took action immediately when we learned about the pups new destination, but I fear it Won’t be enough. We left Sophie and her brother with Thomas and Mary, and jumped in the car, only stopping for petrol. My eyes are so sore from searching the road and surrounding forests, but that’s about to be the least of my problems.

“I think l’m going to be sick” I choke, looking around the car. We’re speeding down the King’s Highway, desperately trying to catch up with the theatre troupe. The vehicle is veering around the twists and turns of the mountain roads, and for once I have no fears that my unsettled stomach might be caused by a pregnancy – I know this is good old motion sickness.

Ethan immediately applies the brakes, as if he intends to pull over. I grip the handhold over my head with a white-knuckled fist. “No- don’t stop! l just need a bag or something.”

Jane –

“Don’t stop!” I repeat stubbornly.

“Here” Linda produces a plastic bag, dumping out the water bottles and snacks we purchased at our last fuel stop. It’s just in the knick of time. Thankfully my hair is up, and I reach into the bag, emptying the contents of my stomach and grimacing at the unpleasant sight and smell of my own sick. I m0an pitifully when it’s over, sipping some water to take the sour taste out of my mouth. There’s nothing left for my body to expel, but stomach acid and bile- but l still feel terrible.

“Poor baby? Ethan strokes my hair, but doesn’t take his eyes off the road. “Are you sure you don’t want me to slow down? These roads aren’t going to get any less windy for a while.”

“No, don’t slow down.” l insist. I have to get to my pups. I kills me that we came so close to finding them, only to have them snatched away at the last moment. I can tell Ethan is worried about me pushing myself too hard, and is clearly grappling for a way to prioritize me and finding the pups at the same time. I suppose that’s why he didn’t want me to come. But l had to -I would have gone crazy if l’d stayed behind. Besides, the pups are going to need me when we find them. They’re probably so frightened. I can almost see them now, huddled in trunks, not knowing what’s happening.

What if they run out of air? Is there enough oxygen in those trunks? I whimper aloud at the thought.

“We have to go faster:” I urge, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

“Any faster and we’ll risk a crash Ethan tells me, using his most soothing tone.

“Stop talking to me like that.” l beg. “You can’t make this better by coddling me” Suddenly I remember Ethan’s habit of pulling over cars for lectures, and l’m afraid he might do so now – but I should have known that hé would never do that at such a critical moment.

In the past our speed hasn’t been able to solve or hurry up resolving our emergencies, now it might cost us everything.

He simply shoots me a disapproving look, “And if one of the pups was beside themself and could calm down on their own, would you just let them spiral?

“But I’m not one of the pups!” l exclaim. “The pups are out there somewhere at this very moment, probably feeling exactly the same way and l’m not there to comfort them! Don’t you understand that?”

Tears are burning in my eyes now. They could be overheating or suffocating as we speak, we can’t waste a single second!”

“1 hear you, sweetheart. I truly do.” I believe him. I can feel the tension radiating off him in waves and I can tell he wants to reach for me, hold me, but we both know he can’t. I think not being able to make me feel better is as upsetting for him as not being able to comfort the pups is for me. I suddenly feel very guilty for making things harder on him. How am l supposed to cope with such a thing? If I feel badly I hurt my mate, but I can’t help feeling badly. Ethan changes tactics before I can come up with an answer, “You have to keep your head, Janey. If you fall to pieces you won’t be able to do what’s necessary.”

“1 know I whimper.”l just feel like they’re slipping out of my fingers. Like every moment we don’t find them, is another mile of distance between us. How much more time can pass before they’re too far out of reach to ever get back?”

“But it’s the opposite.” Linda interjects. “Every moment is a step closer to them.”

“That’s right.” Ethan agrees. “Just keep telling yourself that.”

We drive until the sun begins to set and Ethan slows at last, pulling over to the side of the road. At first I think he might be making a pit stop to use the restroom, but he doesn’t step out of the car. “What are you doing?” I ask.

He turns to me with a furrowed brow. “Do you think they’ll stop for the night?”

“What day are they performing for the king?” I inquire, looking back at Linda.

“The clerk didn’t have the details, just the destination.” She explains with a frown.

“And how much further is the capital?” l question, realizing the problem at once. If they stop and we don’t – we’ll pass them by. But if we stop and they don’t, we’l never catch up.

“Halfa day – at least.” Ethan informs us.

“If it was me, l’d stop.” Linda reasons. “Unless the performance is first thing tomorrow.”

“Can we look it up?” I wonder aloud.

Linda pulls out her phone, typing as quickly as she can. “It’s not for three days.” She finally announces.

“Good.” I breathe a sigh of relief.

“So do we stop?” Linda questions.

“Well unless they stop right on the side of the road we’ll never know we’ve passed them.” I muse, “We can’t risk that.”

“Or maybe that’s better.” Linda counters, “If we get to the capital before them we could intercept them when they arrive.”

“But what if the pups run away again before that?”

Ethan suggests. “They might not be with the troupe anymore by the time they reach the city:”

“We have to find them tonight.”I declare, a new and terrifying thought entering my head. “lf the troupe doesn’t unpack the trunks when they stop, the pups will be trapped until they arrive… without food or water.”

“Jane’s right.” Ethan murmurs. “But I don’t know how to find them. It would be one thing if we could track them, but it’s impossible.”

“Is there a phone number for the company?” I ask suddenly.

“There must be – otherwise how would anyone book them!” Ethan says excitedly.

Linda is typing away again, “There is – Goddess, I can’t believe we didn’t think of this before!” She raises her phone to her ear, then swears.”D*mnit, there’s no service. We must be in too remote of an area.”

“Keep trying” l encourage, “Maybe see if you can get some bars moving around.

Linda steps out of the car, lifting her phone up and trying to get a signal. Meanwhile I look to Ethan.

“We can’t risk passing them” I state gravely. “I think we have to stay in this general area and try to find service or a landline so we can call them. If we can’t get hold of them we can keep driving tomorrow and hope we catch them. But if we drive ahead of them we’ll never find them until it’s too late”

“You’re right” He concurs. “I saw a sign for a hotel a few miles back. Maybe they have a phone we can use.

If we can pick the pups up tonight we’ll need a place to sleep anyway.”

“Okay.” I nod and call Linda back to the car, quickly filling her in on our plan. Just as we turn around, I think I spy a flash of red up ahead, but when l look back, there’s nothing but an endless sea of jungle.

I must have imagined it.

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