Chapter 1

Thanks for 300 reads already!!! I know how dramatic and angsty the prologue was, and yeah, it will kind of be like that for a little while but don't start hating Derek. You will love Adrian right off the bat I'll tell you that. Derek might piss you off a lil. Anyways, without further ado, here's chapter one.

Trigger warning: Homophobic slur. I'm sorry guys, but this is kind of the direction that the story is gonna go. I don't want to have to write that word, but the storyline needs it.

Adrian's POV

Y'all already know who I am, right?

If you don't, my name is Adrian Sanders. I will be playing safety for UCLA this season, hopefully starting, but I don't know. I'm not complaining either way, I'm just glad to be going to the same college as all of my closest friends.

I started last year still very much closeted and not really excited about people's reaction to me being gay. I like dudes. But Tate McRae could change that to be honest, she is really one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life.

Anyways, I'm finishing up my time at a football camp right now. I needed to put on more muscle before the start of the season, so I went to a camp with other people in the same boat as me. I'm by far the best player here though. I thought I needed work to get bigger, but some of these guys are making me question how much strength you need to have to play football. Most of them are the same age as me and are going to college. They all look like fucking twigs. I'm not skinny, like I have plenty of muscle, but I'm not ripped like Cameron or Aaron or Derek.

Speaking of the three of them, Cameron and Aaron are dating, and they are the cutest couple I've ever seen. They're literally perfect for each other. I've never seen them fight. Whenever they're around each other, which is basically all the time, they are holding hands, hugging, all of that nice shit. I'm so happy for them.

I was so surprised when Cam kissed Aaron after the last play of the championship game, but I immediately felt amazing for both of them. Cam never jumped out to me as the romantic type. He always seemed like a bachelor for life, just bonking girls for the rest of his life (don't tell him I thought he was a slut).

Aaron has always seemed like more of a romantic. He never randomly hooked up with girls or boys, so I was less surprised when he told us that he dated Jason. But for Cam and Aaron to be dating is crazy. They hated each other for so long, and suddenly they are the healthiest couple in the school.

Then we get to Derek. I walked in on him fucking some random guy on graduation day. He knows damn well I saw enough to know what was going on. He came out to me months before I walked in on him, but when I brought up that he came out to me, he denied it.

I came out near the end of the school year with some help from Aaron, who is honestly pretty awesome. He's such a good person. Cam and Aaron deserve each other.

Anyways, now Derek knows full well that I know he's gay. I decided to go to this football camp because I didn't want to stay in the same house as him for 10 fucking weeks. I was not super happy about it because I didn't want to have to avoid everyone else, I love all of them, but I know that every interaction that I could've had with Derek would've been so awkward. The tension between the two of us could've really killed both of us.

I assume that he doesn't want me telling anyone. I know he has a super religious mom that he lives with, so that's kind of an issue I don't want to have to exacerbate. I would never out anyone and I hope that once school starts at UCLA, he knows that and will trust me.

Anyways, coming out was, or should've, been a good idea. My parents supported me, they still do, they haven't changed a single thing about how they treat me, which is exactly what I wanted. My high school teammates were super cool about it too. I shouldn't have been surprised. Aaron really blazed the path for me to be okay with other people knowing because the team didn't really mind that he's bisexual.

I got some grief in the semifinals game after a dumbass bitch called me a fairy but everyone was quick to defend me, which I'm super happy about. Cam, Aaron, and Derek all fired back.

However, right now, in this football camp in San Jose, which is a city I've never been in before now, there is no one to defend me. Everything is fair game, and my only hope is for someone that I don't know to defend me, or I'll have to deal with these punk ass hoes myself.

I'm openly gay to everyone, but I don't bring it up. I don't have a gay personality though. When news came out about UCLA signing an openly gay player, that being me, everyone that I didn't know had mixed reactions. I didn't get any death threats in my Instagram DMs at least, which I'm thankful for, but I did get some hate. You know, the typical homophobic name calling, the teasing and asking dumbass questions like 'do you like to take it from behind?' I don't answer them, but I do see the messages and regularly go through my DMS, which is not a great thing.

I also got a lot of guys asking me out. I didn't know I was that good looking, but I didn't say yes to any of them despite my want for a relationship. I need to at least kind of have some kind of prior comfortability with a person before I commit.

Anyways, this football camp has people coming from across the country. That includes people coming from states like Mississippi, Alabama, Texas, and Florida. People that were raised to dislike and hate on people like me. This has made me a very closed off person to everyone else at the camp, because these little assholes won't stop fucking around with me.

I just keep to myself, not saying anything back when they call me homophobic slurs, tell me I'm going to hell, all of that just amazing shit. I got crazy anxiety attacks near the end of the second week, which just made all of this worse. They hurt me physically multiple times, but they got other big players to do it for them. They never actually beat me up themselves. They wouldn't be able to. Anyways, my anxiety attacks for fucking horrible, but I've handled my anxiety better since then, but I still get some from time to time. No one helps me when I get them, I just have to suffer by myself.

Despite all of this, I'm still by far the best player out of like the 50 kids that are here. None of these bums can try to get past me on offense. Again, I thought I needed work before going to college, but these people need complete muscle surgery. They need to add at least 40 pounds of muscle if they want to contend.

At the end of last year, my mental health was peaking. I was arguably the most important part of the team in the playoffs, getting a lot of interceptions, and we were winning games. We won the fucking state championship, of course I was gonna be happy.

Coming to this camp was not a great decision. I would've rather gone to San Diego and have to deal with all that awkward shit with Derek than have to deal with the amount of hate I'm getting from being here. I'm getting depressed again, but it's not because I don't have a boyfriend or whatever, but it's because I know I don't deserve the shit they're saying to me.

Right now I'm just staring at the ceiling in the room I have to share with a fellow safety named Marshawn. He's cool. He's not a fucking bitch ass ball muncher like the other ones because he's from Washington, one of the more gay friendly states in the US.

He hasn't really stood up for me, but he's at least not being a complete dick like the others. I know that he won't bring any of it up. He's going to Washington State for college, and that means that we will be playing him at some point during the regular season at UCLA.

I've gained about 10 pounds of muscle in the last 9 weeks. They provide us with some pretty nice dinner every day, but I brought my own protein powder so I can be drinking it sometimes too.

I'm gonna have to get out of bed at some point. Today is one of the last days of the camp, and I know that my teammates know that, and they're gonna make me go to San Diego for the last week before school starts. I'm fine with going. I'll just try my best to avoid Derek.

"Adrian. Marshawn. Training is starting," someone states from outside our door.

"Alright," Marshawn answers and we both leave.

It's hot as hell today. At least we can practice without our shirts on, but everyone is still weird around me. They should take a look in the mirror and automatically know that they're not the kind of people I would be looking at.

They're all skinny, which is not a bad thing, but they're also inbred Southerners. The most homophobic people somehow end up being the most ugly people which is crazy. Their egos can't handle that. They always have raggedy teeth and shitty hair and overall they're just ugly as holy hell.

"What's up homo," some dick named Josh says to me. I've been holding back from just wailing his ass to the ground. I know I could do it. I think he knows I could do it too, he's one of the twigs I was talking about. I could probably solo him with just my aura.

I don't answer, just continue to walk to the practice field with my head held high. Every time someone says shit like that to me, a lil bit of my soul dies, but I'll be fine. I'll be with all my friends soon, and that's all I can ask for.

The guy running the camp gets us all in a circle and tells us what we're gonna do.

"Alright everyone! Today is the second to last day of this camp, alright? Today, we're gonna do some one on one receiver and defensive back work," he says and we all nod. "Great. Josh, Adrian, you're up first."

Josh is a wide receiver, and to be so for real, he's complete dogshit. I've never seen a player that's going D1 that's as bad as him. He should just quit the sport and play baseball or something. Something that doesn't require as much muscle, because lord knows he doesn't have enough.

Josh lines up right across from me, grinning at me. "You ready to get your gay ass on the ground?" he asks and I again don't answer. I'm gonna stay being the bigger person here and just not reply. It hurts, yes, but I don't want to get in trouble for retaliating.

The quarterback snaps the ball and throws it in Josh's direction, and I immediately bat that bitch down right before it was about to go into Josh's hands.

"That was lucky. You just got luck, homo. Even broken clocks are right twice a day," he states, still trying to get into my head.

"Play that one again you two!" the camp guy says.

I hold a thumbs up and Josh nods. The quarterback snaps the ball once again, and I don't give Josh an inch of space, and the camp leader blows the whistle to stop the play.

"Josh, you have to know how to get past a guy, that's not how you do it," he states.

"Sorry. I guess Adrian likes men so much he sticks to them close like that," Josh states.

"Josh, don't try to make excuses for your bullshit, you know damn well I locked your ass up," I state and the camp leader nods.

"He's right, Josh. You got cooked big time on back to back plays. If you're really going to go D1, to Florida State, you're gonna have to learn how to get separation," the camp guy says. I didn't realize Josh was gonna go to Florida State. They're a pretty storied football school, I'm surprised they saw something in the way he plays that convinced them that he's good enough to play for them.

The camp leader (I don't know his name to be honest he's not really someone I'm gonna remember in the next few years) leads Josh back to where he was lined up and began to show Josh how to get separation while I just stand there.

"Alright Josh, the moves you make are extremely predictable. You literally look in the direction that you're gonna go. That's not gonna work. You have to juke a bit before actually going out and running the route. You also should pretend to go out and block for another player, that works sometimes and throws your defender off. Here, let me show you."

He gets lined up across from me and tries to run a route on me, and I stop him and don't give up any separation. Again, no one can get past me. Not even this 28 year old man can get past me, that's how much clamps (and elite aura) I have.

The camp leader walks away, out of breath. "You said you're a safety? Why aren't you a cornerback?" he asks while trying to regain his composure.

The difference between safeties and cornerbacks is that cornerbacks are directly covering receivers while safeties are, like it says in the name, safety net players. If the receiver is able to get past a cornerback, then the safety is hanging back so they can cover the receiver instead. I guess I'm just good at both. I was a part time cornerback in freshman year, but Derek came in and made me switch to safety, which I've been phenomenal at.

"I don't know," I answer. I'm still not really cool with talking to people here, these people have ruined my mood and probably will be the reason my mood is ruined for the next year or so.

"Well, consider the switch, but you're doing well at safety as well, so it doesn't really matter. Anyways, Josh, on most defensive backs, you have to just trick them. Maybe a small shove, but don't make it obvious. Try it," the camp guy says. I should probably learn his name at some point.

Josh lines up across me with wild eyes, pissed off at how much better I am than him. He's angry and I can tell.

The quarterback snaps the ball, Josh shoves me really hard, but again, he's a twig, so I don't move very far. He sees this, shoving me even harder. I still stand my ground, still ready to pounce at the ball if it's passed to him.

The quarterback throws the ball to him and I pick it off. I guess I really am an elite motherfucker in this bitch. Josh thinks he's so good but he's straight up coochie shit.

"Fuck you fairy," he says, his eyebrows furrowing.

I don't answer, just walking back to the sidelines.

"Are you gonna answer me? Or are you too scared of me," Josh says and I roll my eyes at him.

I'm obviously not scared of him. He's built like a third grader and I'm built like what I should be built like at this age.

"Answer me faggot," he says and a couple more players turn around to face me.

I hold my head high, acting like that didn't hurt me. If worse comes to worse, I will fight these degenerates and I know I can win.

"Answer him," another dumbass named Gerald says to me. All of these people have bad names in common, that's what I'm just realizing.

"This faggot is scared of us, isn't he?" Bob asks me. If that was my name, I would go straight to the name change office to be honest. Bob is a name that should be reserved for people older than 50 years old, but here's this fucking idiot named Bob.

"I think we should teach this homo a lesson about what happens when you defy God," some short ass bitch named Seth says. The name Seth is not the name of someone that's going to college. The name Seth is reserved for creepy third graders that pick their noses and get rejected by girls in their class and have terrible hair.

"Yeah, I agree," says Josh.

"Don't let us catch you out tonight," says Bob.

Damn, well now I want to go outside tonight. I wasn't planning on it, but now I really want to go outside. Maybe I'll actually have a chance to break some bitches' faces. Not like they don't already have irreversible face damage that we all know of as fugliness.

Later in the day, we're all sitting down to eat dinner. I have fast as fuck metabolism, so I can eat as much as I want, but I still like to get the most out of every meal, so I eat a lot of protein.

At meals, I sit with Marshawn. He doesn't really know anyone here either, so we've kind of become friends. We don't talk to each other that much, but I don't think he cares about the fact that I'm gay.

After dinner I take a long walk outside hoping to see the four fuglies so I can fight them. These bitches think they gonna jump me but don't know that I can and will fuck them all up.

"Well, well, well, look who didn't listen when we told him not to go outside," Josh says, cracking his knuckles. Is the South like this? Do religious people in the South actually act like this? They look like complete fucking idiots right now.

"I listened, I just thought it was a nice night to go outside, you know? Look around, look how beautiful the sky is," I state, pointing up.

"Hey Sanders, tell us what hell is like," Gerald says, cracking his knuckles as well.

"You're a fucking cornball. I could drown you in a toilet if I wanted to, but I think a slowly pulling your limbs off would be a better fate for you," I say.

"You're a freak," Josh says.

"Look who's talking. Fucking praying mantis looking ass bitch. We're not near a curb right now, but I'm sure you know what I would do to you if there was a curb," I say, standing my ground and basically laughing at them.

"Don't talk to him like that!" Bob says.

"And you call me the gay one? This guy's basically bowing down to Josh. Bob, just say you want Josh to put it in."

"What? I don't want that!"

"Really? Because the way you're defending him is awfully gay," I state.

"No! I'm not gay!"

"You can talk to me about it if you want. As you can see, being gay is just the best."

"Stop!" Bob yells at me.

"Stop what? Winning a 1v4 using just words? Nah, I don't think I will," I say.

"Just fight him, holy crap," Josh says.

"Anything for you, Josh," Bob answers.

"Am I really the only one who sees this? Bob wants you Josh, just talk about that instead of me. Bob, tell Josh how much you want to slurp that thang."

"Shut up! Me and Bob are just friends!" Josh yells. They're walking right into my trap.

"Did I suggest otherwise?" I ask.

"Yeah. But we're not together, okay?" Josh says.

"Alright. I believe you," I lie. That was really gay behavior. For one man to say 'anything for you' to another man is gay as fuck, or at the very least hella zesty.

"Okay. Now, let's beat this fairy to a pulp," Josh states.

Bob is the first one to run at me, throwing a punch towards me. I grab his fist and push him away from me. He falls back like 10 feet despite me not really pushing him that hard.

"Wow. You're a bitch," I tell Bob.

"Don't talk to him like that!" Josh yells at me.

"You're all just as gay as me, bro. Do you hear yourselves?" I ask.

I get no answer, instead, Gerald, who I forgot about, lunges onto me, getting on my back and clenching his fist and hitting my head.

I shake my head at this and throw him over my shoulders and onto the ground. He winces in pain as his back hits the hard concrete.

"Wow. This is embarrassing for you 4, isn't it?" I ask grinning at them now.

"Shut up. I can beat you in 5 seconds," Seth states, squaring up.

"Come on, punch me lil bro. You won't."

Seth punches me, about 5 times, and I feel nothing. I laugh at him like a maniac, probably scaring him, and he backs off but I walk towards him and shove him lightly, pushing him back 10 feet as well. These people are absolute fucking weak bitches.

"You got them, but I'm the most Christ blessed one of all of them," Josh states.

"What does that even mean?"

"I can feel Jesus coming inside of me," Josh states.

"Wow. You're not helping your own case," I laugh at him.

Josh lunges at me and I elbow him in the stomach, and he backs away, holding his stomach in severe pain.

"Fuck. Why did you do that?" he asks.

"Did you not make it past second grade, Josh? It's called self defense, you're just a pussy."

"No he's not!" Bob yells, getting up and walking towards me again.

"Oh god. You're still alive?" I ask.

"Yeah. And I'm here to get revenge for Josh."

"Seriously Bob, stop dick riding Josh, look at him!" I point at Josh, who's hunched over and gripping his own stomach.

"I will never stop sticking up for my friends! My friends are family!"

"So pussyness runs in this family? That makes more sense. You're the four corniest people I've ever met in my life," I state, walking away from them.

I feel so good after doing that. I didn't even do that much and I beat the complete batshit out of their bitch asses. I think I 'ate' or whatever those gay people say when you do something good. I slayed or something.

The next day...

Last night made me feel great, but I don't know how much longer that will last. The shit they were saying to me really got to me after like the second week. They knew who I was immediately because I was all over the news for being gay and a football player. Surprisingly, that's not even that weird for my high school team. Cam, Aaron, and Derek are all men likers too.

I think I'm gonna be keeping to myself more over the next year. I know I'm depressed now, obviously because of these fucking meat riders that won't hop off. The shit they said to me was way worse than anything that people have been saying to me in my Instagram DMs. At least people there are into me, but people here are just mean.

I should've expected people to be mean. I'm gay. Not everyone is gonna be alright with that, and I know that. I admire Cam and Aaron's total resilience through any hate that they might've received since leaving Bryant High. They're really such a perfect couple.

I packed all my shit in my suitcase last night after dealing with all of those little termite fuckers so I'm ready to leave. I'm so ready to leave and see everyone.

I'm not ready to see Derek. I don't even know what I'm gonna say to him when I see him again.

Me and Marshawn are already ready to leave, so we go to the lobby of the hotel we're staying in and the camp counselor guy is standing there waiting for everyone to get there to say one final thing to us I assume.

Once everyone arrives, he gets us all in a huddle.

"Alright guys, I hope you enjoyed your time here. I hope this helped you improve your skills, build on your game, build your body, and just improve overall. Good luck in college, I look forward to watching you on TV," he says.

He pulls me aside to talk to me separately from everyone else, and it kind of worries me. Did Josh and his bitch ass minions snitch on me for defending myself?

"Adrian, you're one of the best players to participate in this camp during the time that I've been here. You're absolutely elite. I've never seen a safety that can cover a receiver directly the way you are able to. I know I said to these guys that I'm excited to see them on TV, but you're one of the only players here that I believe will actually have a shot at starting."

"Thanks. That means a lot," I say, forcing a smile.

"No problem. Good luck at UCLA, you'll be great," he says and I exit the hotel, finally being able to have some freedom.

To be honest, I could've left any time, but I didn't want to have to do the paperwork that comes with leaving the camp early, and my parents paid for it and I didn't want it to be a complete waste of money for them.

I get in my car and drive to the nearest gas station. I need to get the car as full of gas as possible for the fucking 5 and a half hour drive from San Jose to Los Angeles. It's gonna be fucking terrible but at least I can play my music.

I get the gas, some snacks, and finally begin the trip.

After a few hours, I need to fucking stretch. I'm so fucking sore from the multiple months of continuous football playing, so I pull over at a gas station and get out and stretch.

"Oh my God! Adrian Sanders?" a guy comes up to me. He's really tall, super fucking buff, and he has curly black hair.

"Yeah, that's me," I stick out my hand for him to shake and he smiles.

"Wow, I'm a huge fan. You're so brave for coming out."

"Thanks. You know, I couldn't have really done it without my teammates being alright with it, and I guess I was just lucky I had such good support around me. What's your name?" I ask.

"My name is Julian. I go to UCLA, that's why I know you."

"Oh. That's cool," I say, probably blushing at his appearance. He's FINE AS HELL.

"Thanks. Anyways, I'm the leader of the pride club there, I don't know if you would like to join?" he asks and I ponder it. Should I join the pride club? I have literally nothing in common with the rest of the gay people in the school, and I don't know if Cam and Aaron will join as well. I doubt it, they're probably just gonna spend as much time as they possibly can together.

"I'll think about it for sure, I'll get back to you at some point," I answer.

"Alright. That's great. Thanks for talking to me, I know you probably have a lot of fans."

"No problem, I love talking to fans, you're all great. I'll get back to you about the pride club, thanks for telling me about it."

"You're welcome. See you later," he smiles at me.

He's pretty damn hot, I can't even lie. Black haired guys aren't really my type, but I would make an exception for him. I kind of feel like he was into me.

I get back in my car and drive the rest of the way to LA. I'm not going over to San Diego today, that's another 2 hours at least. I'll go tomorrow.

Adrian:

I'll go over to the house tomorrow guys, I'm too tired today

Devin:

Aight, see you tomorrow!

Aaron:

Sweet

I get an answer from 6 of the 7 guys staying in San Diego right now, but nothing from Derek. I feel like he probably doesn't want me there for a reason that I know full well. I'm gonna have to tell him that I won't out him to anyone because he's my friend. I would never do that to a friend of mine. Coming out is something that should happen because you want to come out, not because someone outed you.

I'll probably be down for a little while because of all the homophobia, but I'll be alright soon.

San Diego will probably be nice, that should calm me down again.

A/N: First chapter done! I hope you enjoyed it, not a single appearance from Derek, but I hope you enjoyed an entire chapter of Adrian's POV. I know that you guys enjoyed his POVs in Teammates With Benefits, so that's gonna be basically half of this book. I'm excited to write this. This is the second time I'm trying slow burn, and I'm more confident about this one turning out good because I have these characters already. I also know that not going to San Diego with everyone else was not a great decision by Adrian, but I feel like the whole summer house concept is already used in OMWTY so I made it a possibility but then switched up to really establish (in my opinion) a solid storyline. It will get boring for the first few chapters, but stick with it and the reward will be great.