(57) Sober Eyes

Will gazed at Makennah with bewilderment and amazement. "The shower is running. She's in the shower?" He asked in disbelief.

She nodded. "I told you."

To properly thank her, Will actually drew Makennah into his arms and squeezed her tightly. "I'll never second guess you again. I owe you, kiddo."

Well she was about to take him up on that offer. "Can I see those papers? About the guardianship thing. I want to read them over."

Without question, Will entered his office, located the papers, and handed them over to Makennah. "Here. Any questions, let me know."

She nodded and tried to stop her hands from shaking as she accepted the papers. "Thanks. I gotta go to the store. I ripped my stockings."

Will handed her a twenty dollar bill from his wallet lying on the counter beside his empty coffee cup. "Don't be late. We're leaving at twelve to get there early. I guess I better get Gran."

Promising him to return on time to leave for the funeral home with the family, Makennah climbed the stairs while avoiding reading over the papers in her hands. She knew what they said. She knew what they meant. She didn't need to do any investigating or reading. She already knew what to do.

Once she wrapped herself up in a black pea coat, a grey scarf, and slipped into boots, she stuffed the papers in her purse, fetched her wallet, and grabbed her high heels for the funeral in case she was running late. On the verandah, Makennah knocked on Matt's door and he swiftly answered.

He was in the middle of knotting his black tie. "Sup."

"Can I borrow the Jeep?"

"For what?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I need to buy new stockings. I ripped mine," she said, not completely lying.

Silently, Matt stared her down while he slipped the end of his tie through the knot and pulled it through. "You're lying."

"I'm not," she sneered, playing it cool.

"Fine. No Jeep." He kicked the door shut in her face.

Makennah stuck her foot out and stopped the door from closing. She shoved it open and pointed her finger stiffly in chest. "If you tell anyone, I'll kill you," she threatened. She listened closely for Theo but heard him humming in the shower. It was kind of cute and almost distracted her. "I'm going to see my mom."

Matt cocked his head to the side. "Now?"

"I have some business to take care of."

----------------------------------------------------

Makennah paced. And paced. And bit her fingernails. And paced.

Inside a dark cold room lit by a single window near the ceiling which cast long shadows from the metal table and chairs onto the floor.

She'd been waiting for twenty minutes. They told her there was a hold up.

To pass time, Makennah withdrew the papers from her purse and smoothed them out on the table. Okay, that was three whole seconds.

So she ripped open the cellophane wrapping on her new black stockings and unravelled the soft thin fabric. Kicking off her boots, she gathered the material together and stuck her foot in, careful not to rip these too. Assuming she had a little bit of privacy, she hastily smoothed the material over her legs and pulled them up to her waist. She fixed the loose areas and yanked them up higher so that they would stay on.

Her hands trembled so badly that she couldn't unhook the tiny belt on her Mary Janes. She wanted to throw the shoes across the room but she resisted the urge.

Makennah had just managed to stick her feet in her new tall Mary Janes and buckled the belt when the door sounded with a buzzer and it swung open.

The person on the other side was not who she expected.

"What the heck are you doing here?" She yelled at Theo.

All six foot plus of Theo towered in the doorway. He stepped inside and the security guard shut it behind him, automatically locking. Theo stuffed his hands in his slack's pockets. He looked entirely too handsome in his funeral attire. "You really think I was gonna let you do this alone?"

She propped her hands up on her hips and fought back the tears. Instead, she focused on something else. She blew her curly hair out of her eyes. The curls were already starting to fall out of her blonde hair which was another source of her frustration. "I hate Matt. I told him not to tell anyone."

"I'm your boyfriend. I have rights," Theo joked, offering her his world class smirk.

She covered her face with her hands. "I don't have time for this."

"I'm not here to make your life more difficult, Kennah," he said quietly and kindly. His voice did that thing where he spoke softer and smoother as if his words alone expressed his deepest heartfelt feelings for her and attempted to calm her down without touching her all at the same time.

Makennah sighed and leaned her hand on the metal chair for support. "I just...can't deal with you being here. I'm fine. I was fine before you showed up."

She fixated her attention on collecting the garbage from her stockings and stuffing them inside her purse. Her gaze fell over the wrinkled scraps of paper that held the power to change her life.

Forever.

Theo watched Makennah fiddle with any number of things to keep herself together...to not fall apart in this stupid cell somewhere in the depths of a women's correctional facility.

"I love you."

Her head shot up. She pinned Theo with a heated fiery stare. "Stop it."

"I love you," he said again, more firmly this time.

She backed away even though an entire room still separated them. Her heart pounded and the tears she kept at bay filled her eyes. She breathed heavily and forced Theo to stay on the other side of the room with just her fierce glare. "I mean it. Stop."

"I mean it too." Even though it looked like he wanted to cross the room and gather her up in his arms, he remained where he stood by the door.

"Theo! Stop! I can't deal with this right now! And you don't mean it!" She yelled angrily, clenching her hands into fists by her side.

His gaze travelled down the length of her body, apparently finding something enjoyable because he smiled from ear to ear. That gorgeous smile made her stomach flip inside her belly. A warm feeling cascaded over her body from head to toe, and her cheeks flushed with heat. "You look cute. I especially like those tights. A little...fun...for a funeral though, don't you think?"

Her brow puckered in confusion. She got whiplash from trying to keep up with his change of topic. "It's all the store had," she admitted sadly. She thought they were a little fun too, but it was better than nothing.

Making eye contact again, Theo held his breath before continuing on the previous topic. "You don't have to say it back...just because I said it. Doesn't mean you have to say it back. But it also doesn't change the fact that I said it."

Makennah closed her eyes tightly and pretended she was somewhere else. "Theo....I'm serious. Stop it. You don't need to do this right now."

"Okay you're freaking out a little that I said 'I love you.' I can see that. You can pretend I didn't say it if that helps."

Her eyes burst open. She crossed the room in three long strides to smack him on the shoulder. "But you did! You said those words for the first time while I'm in the middle of...of...of this crap!"

Theo had the gull to laugh. "Well I felt it. So I said it."

He made it sound so simple. It was entirely too annoying.

She placed her hands on her hips. "Stop laughing."

He laughed louder.

"I mean it!" She growled.

Thankfully, they were interrupted.

Un-thankfully (if that was a word. She wasn't sure), that interruption was her mother. Candy Claire Thomas. Dressed in orange with her stringy blonde hair pulled up in a high pony tail and wisps framing her face.

With no more than a glance, Makennah summed up all she needed to know about her mother.

She was sober.

Her heart stopped. Everything she expected shifted and changed. She hadn't taken this into account. She was stupidly unaware of the fact her mother was very obviously sober while holed up in a corrections facility. Suddenly, this whole charade grew a whole lot more difficult.

Because normal high and drunk Candy is not the same person when she is sober.

"Makennah! This is such a surprise!" Candy exclaimed, smiling brightly. Little bits and pieces of Candy's former beauty revealed themselves without the grime and sweat of days on end strung out on God knows what.

Theo placed both of his hands on her shoulders and shuffled her out of the way while her eyes stayed trained, unblinking, on her mother who was escorted to the table and locked securely to the metal ring hooked to the center of the table. Her handcuffs clanged against the metal as she sat down, still smiling and watching Makennah carefully.

"Those leggings are fun!" She complimented.

Without so much as a word, Makennah mentally silenced Theo with a heated glare, knowing he was on the verge of laughter because of her apparently fun stockings.

Even though Makennah hadn't spoken a word, Candy continued like nothing was wrong...like no bad blood brewed between them...like Makennah hadn't told Candy that she wished she would rot in hell. "So what's all this about?"

Before Makennah could answer, a court appointed lawyer that Makennah contact previously entered the room in a flurry of old-fashioned loafers, a worn out leather briefcase, and a printed tie. The middle-aged man smoothed down his slicked back hair as he scraped out the metal chair across from her mother. "So let's get started."

"I'm sorry...what's happening?" Candy turned that thousand watt smile on the lawyer who fumbled with a stack of papers - copies of the crinkled up documents she already brought with her.

The lawyer turned to Makennah. "She doesn't know?"

Makennah extricated herself from Theo's arms and crossed her arms over her chest. She stood across the room with the back of her heels pressed against the wall, as far away from her mother as she could possibly get. "I'm petitioning to make the Sinclair's my permanent legal guardians," she answered quietly but firmly, devoid of emotion.

The light in Candy's clear eyes - sober eyes - shattered. "What do you mean? Who are the Sinclairs?"

The lawyer waited for Makennah to help her mother catch up. Beside her, Theo casually crossed one ankle over the other and propped himself up on the wall with his shoulder.

Makennah gulped uncomfortably. "The Sinclairs are my foster parents."

Candy sighed and closed her eyes. "Makennah...I'm...I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to get you sent away again. It's just that..."

"Stop," she demanded. "You probably don't even remember what happened or how I got picked up by CPS. So just stop."

"So what...what does this mean?" Candy asked to the lawyer.

The lawyer cleared his throat and presented the documents to Candy. "These are the documents you'll have to sign today. Since you're detained, you cannot stand before a judge in court where this process usually occurs. By signing these papers, you agree to hand over all legal rights to your daughter."

"So the Sinclairs are adopting you?" Candy blanched and turned as white as a sheet, paler than a ghost. Her eyes - sober eyes - flickered around the room to look at all three of them, expecting clarification.

"No, this is a legal guardianship. It's different," the lawyer explained. "The Sinclairs have petitioned for legal guardianship so that Makennah cannot be removed from their home and sent to another foster home. It also means that you are stripped of some of your parental rights. You could petition to receive Makennah back into our care once you are released from this correctional institution; however the process is longer and harder. It's not an adoption because it's not permanent forever. Makennah is almost eighteen. This step into legal guardianship simply ensures that Makennah has the opportunity to stay with the Sinclair's until she is eighteen and a legal adult. It means she will finish school in one location without having to transfer again. It provides a new level of permanency and stability for Makennah. The Sinclair's have not attempted to adopt Makennah because she is so close to eighteen. Legal guardianship is the best bet for Makennah's safety and well being."

Makennah could see some of his words float right over Candy's head. She was smart but never good with legal terms and conditions. "Why would they do that? She's fine where she is and I'll be out soon so that she can live with me."

Makennah rolled her eyes.

The lawyer explained, "That's partially the purpose of a legal guardianship. Whether or not you are released from this facility, Makennah would continue living with the Sinclairs."

Candy's mouth dropped open. "Well that's silly. I'm fine! I'll be out of here in no time! And then Makennah can come live with her mother again."

This...this right here...was precisely why Makennah hated for her friends to meet her mother when she was sober. She sounded like a good mother. She sounded like she cared. She sounded like she would do anything to keep Makennah in her care. She made herself look like a decent human being without a drug addiction. Inside this facility, anyone could guess her mother's crimes that got her convicted. Her clear, sober eyes fooled others into believing that somewhere in the depths of her soul lurked unconfounded kindness. How could a drug addict live and breathe behind those eyes?

"How long is your sentence, Mom?" Makennah asked.

Candy's eyes dropped to the table.

"How long?" Makennah demanded in a firmer tone.

"Five years," she answered.

"I'll be twenty-two by then and this won't even matter. I'll be a legal adult," Makennah clarified.

"I could get out early!" Candy tried.

"Even if you get out in two years at best, I'll still be a legal adult. This guardianship means nothing to you. Just sign the freaking papers," Makennah said.

"I could get out in a year," Candy attempted, eyebrows raised, as if that was a real possibility.

Makennah straightened her spine. "I'd be in the middle of my senior year, about to graduate. It would be cruel to remove me from the Sinclair's home just because it would make you feel like a better mother to try to get me home again. I'd be so close to eighteen that it wouldn't even matter." Makennah swallowed and lifted her chin. Even though this woman raised her in whatever poor capacity she was capable of, Makennah had to hurt her feelings in order to get this to go the right way. "I would choose the Sinclair's anyway."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

Makennah felt all of the eyes trained on her. "I mean that..." Her muscles tightened in her shoulders, attempting to hold her body into rigidity instead of falling apart with the shakes. "I like the Sinclair family. They take care of me. They protect me and watch out for me. I actually have food to eat. I don't have to pay the stupid bills because you forgot. I don't have to hunt down my foster parents because they got too drunk or too high. I don't have to do any of those things I shouldn't have had to do in the first place with you. So if you tried to petition the state, I would do everything - and I do mean everything - in my power to ensure you can never touch me. I choose the Sinclairs."

Candy rolled her eyes and slinked down her chair, apparently fed up with this conversation. The blood in her veins ran cold with ice. Her knees suddenly broke tension, and she leaned against the wall with her hands behind her. Theo stood up tall as if he knew he was going to have to catch her the second she fell to her knees on the ground.

Makennah knew the look on her mother's face. Candy didn't believe her. Somewhere in that twisted demented brain of hers, she truly believed that she was kind of a good mom that deserved to get her kid back once she was released from prison. "I never asked you to do any of those things."

After a second of silence, Makennah burst out laughing. Slowly. Quietly. Until it grew into a thunderous laugh that shook the room and disturbed it's inhabitants. She held her belly as her muscles clenched uncomfortably from all of the uncontrollable laughter. "That's funny. That's really fun...fun...funnnyyyy," Makennah said around her laughter. "That's hilarious. You know why?" She calmed herself down and wiped away a tear from her watery eyes. "Because if I didn't do any of those things, you would be dead. The really funny thing is that you don't even realize how many times I actually saved your life!" Makennah threw up her hands in frustration. "And not once...NEVER...you NEVER thanked me! In my entire life, all of the things that I did for you to keep you alive and to keep ME alive...to feed myself and clothe myself and take myself to school and pay the bills so that we didn't freeze to death!" She started laughing again. "You never thanked me! Because the only thing you ever cared about was feeding your drug habit, finding the next high! That's all that mattered."

"That's not true!" Candy yelled.

The lawyer covered his face with his hands as if this sort of explosion was something he witness every day and he just couldn't take it anymore.

"It is! You don't get to sit there and pretend like you're such a good mother! You don't get to pretend that you even care about me or want me to live with you! You don't get to pretend that you'll get your life together once you're released from prison for the nineteenth freaking time! You don't get to pretend that you won't go straight back to the drugs that put you here as soon as you're on the outside. I don't know if you've conveniently forgotten, but the last time I saw you, you were in the middle of nowhere with a handful of most-wanted criminals, snorting drugs off a mirror and crushing up pills with a glass. Yeah...that definitely screams 'mother of the damn year.'"

Finding her feet, Makennah sauntered over to the table and leaned across it to stare her mother in the face. Sober eyes stared back at her. Soulless sober eyes.

"I deserve better than you. I deserve a life. Stability. I deserve to date my very hot boyfriend over there in the corner and not worry that I'll be taken away by my selfish mother to a town miles away and not get to see him again. I deserve to play soccer my senior year for an amazing school that cares about my success and giving me opportunities to play for colleges once I graduate. You do not deserve me. You do not deserve to be a mother. And you do not get to pretend that you love me or care about me, because you don't. So you will pick up that freaking pen and you will sign these papers. And I will never see you again if I am so lucky," Makennah explained bitterly.

Tears well up in Candy's eyes. She held eye contact for a moment longer before she cleared her throat and dropped her gaze to the documents. "If that's how you feel," she whispered, picking up the pen and clicking the end.

"Don't put this on me. You did this. You wound up in prison again. If there's anyone to blame for this situation, it's yourself. You're the entire reason I ended up with the Sinclairs in the first place," Makennah explained, shoving the guilt back at her mother. There was no way Makennah was going to let her mother think that Makennah is to blame.

It was downright selfish of her mother to even try.

Makennah backed up slowly until her back hit the wall. She crossed her arms, and she stood there silently, waiting for the proceeding to be over.

"Alright," the lawyer pointed to the first blank line. "Some of this paperwork has already been completed by the Sinclair's. We just need your portion. This here reads 'Makennah Claire Thomas was removed from the custody of her mother,' print your name here," he instructed. Candy wrote her name. The lawyer continued. "'Candy Claire Thomas, due to unsanitary and unsafe living conditions on May 3, 2018. She was adjudicated neglected on date'...well, we're still confirming that date so we will move on. 'Makennah Claire Thomas was placed with William and Carolynn Sinclair on August 15th, 2018, where she has remained. William and Carolynn Sinclair have resided at their current address since Makennah Claire Thomas was placed with them. Makennah Claire Thomas was committed to CPS Custody on...."

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Xoxo

W. Carolina