Chapter Thirteen

Harry

I flung a vase against the wall of the room I was in and watched it smash into a million pieces. Sweat was dripping from my every pore and the mixture of that and the blood that was flowing from the numerous wounds on my body made me feel physically sick.

My shirt, which had been crisp and strikingly white mere hours ago was now torn in numerous places and stained beyond recognition.

How had this gone so wrong? The plan had been flawless – we had gone through every single detail at least twenty times! We all knew our positions. We all knew what we had to do. We all knew what was at stake!

I strung my fingers through my hair, my hands shaking. What would I do now? My throat was closing up as I racked my brain for my next step. It was pitch dark outside and this was both a positive and a negative.

A positive as I was even more concealed from them – a negative because they were even more concealed from me.

I didn't even know if they knew where I was. Were they still looking for me? They already had one person in a body bag, did they need any more?

This thought brought me to my knees as I dropped my head into my hands.  He was dead – gone. There was nothing I could do to bring him back. A sob left my throat and I slammed my fists against the carpeted floor.

There was a creak from behind me. I was in Hugh's sitting room.

I jumped up from my knees, my eyes wild. I wasn't thinking strategically – I was acting on instinct. My actions no longer had a plan, just a survival instinct.

"Who's there?" I shouted. My voice was hoarse from the shouting I had been doing earlier – when I had ordered them to let me help them. When I had roared at the sound of the bullet smashing through his skull.

"I said who's fucking there?" I repeated, getting angrier. I was in no mood for games anymore. I was done. Either they came out and revealed themselves or they killed me. Simple.

I heard more movement and I knew they were in the dark room with me. I saw a shadow on my left and immediately turned to face them.

"If you're going to kill me just kill me," I snarled.

I wasn't given an answer, only the glint of a gun poised at me, the reflection of the moon shining through the window outlining its shape.

I didn't have time to run or fight. They pulled the safety off of the gun. I didn't have time to even think. They angled it more accurately towards me. I was a dead man. I should have known.

They pulled the trigger and I only felt the pain in my chest for a flittering moment before the world went black.

His gut was always right.

Three days earlier

"You're not doing this."

"Yes I am."

"If you think I'm letting you do this, you have another thing coming, buddy."

"Oh, so I'm buddy now, am I? And you can't tell me what to do."

"Yes, I can actually."

"No you can't Ethan. I'm a grown man."

"A 'grown man'?! Now I've heard it all!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Would you two ever just shut up?" Lawman interrupted, throwing his hands up in the air. The movement caused the table we were seated around to rock on its uneven and frayed legs - it was like a jolt back into reality.

Ethan and I had been arguing and going around in circles for the past twenty minutes. I was guessing that Lawman was getting slightly agitated at this – I could be wrong though. That annoyance in his eyes could just be that he finally realised what an idiot he was.

We had just left Tom at his hotel and the three of us had driven to a nearby diner. We had a lot to discuss about the upcoming days or as Ethan had so affectionately put it, 'my suicide mission'. He always had a nice way with words. Plus, I wanted to suss out this 'Tom' person. I mean, who was he to just barge in on our plan?

"He's not barging in, Harry. For the last time, he's the one who came up with most of the damn thing!" Lawman would sigh whenever I voiced this opinion. I would then raise an eyebrow at the sass Lawman was giving me and he would quieten immediately.

He knew who was boss – he was lucky I even allowed him be part of this plan as it was! When I voiced this he had began to argue with me once again until Ethan calmed him down stating 'it's not worth it'. Ethan, always the rational one – when it suited him.

I hated Lawman. Okay, I didn't. But I didn't like him! Okay, maybe I did – a little.

It was really bugging me that I was starting to like him. I lavished in the fact that I was able to judge people accurately one-hundred percent of the time – I was a people reader. I had been certain that Lawman was a dick from the beginning and now that I was being proven wrong, I coped by being even meaner to him.

I guessed there were more productive ways of dealing with my misjudgement but for the moment I chose the easiest way. I had enough to worry about – I'd buy Lawman a puppy or something when all of this was over.

We didn't have long in the diner as Ethan had a meeting with Dawson later to discuss the progress of the mission. We had already decided on what we were going to say to him – a bundle of lies of course.

Tom's name wouldn't be mentioned.  Ethan was one heck of a liar when he wanted to be so we had no qualms about Dawson finding out – I had volunteered to go meet with the Captain myself but even Ethan in his current depressed state, cracked up.

I wasn't exactly the best at lying and deceiving people – especially someone I wanted to kill with my bare hands at this precise moment. Dawson had truly fucked me and Ethan over. And I was not okay with that.

Ethan's mood returned to stoic and cold while I interrogated Lawman about Tom. I had a lot of questions and Lawman had surprisingly little answers. I could tell Ethan didn't want to speak about the man who betrayed him all of those years ago, but it was what needed to be done. We had to trust these people with our lives – otherwise, it really would be a suicide mission. And trust worked both ways.

"So he approached you a few months ago to take down Michael? And you just agreed?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it was a build up of things really... I had always been against what Michael did so when Tom offered me an out, I took it. Nobody went against Michael Taylor and once you were in the gang, there was no going out – I felt so trapped. When Tom told me what Michael planned to do to you, it wasn't a tough decision to make to bring him down now that I had any form of opportunity," Hugh took a sip of his coffee, looking slightly green. He was acting more nervous than usual.

"Why didn't you just leave Michael's gang? How did you even get in there in the first place? The money? The power? The reputation? What would possess you to join a lethal drugs trade?" I persisted.

"Harry, let the man breathe!" Ethan interrupted, speaking for the first time in a while.

He was tapping his leg erratically and he couldn't hold eye contact with me for more than five seconds. I wanted to know what was going on in that mind of his – I wanted to know more about his past that was rapidly becoming his present. I wanted to reach over and take his hand but was terrified of being rejected.

Tom was back... what did this mean for us? Stop it, Harry. Now wasn't the time for this lovey-dovey shit.

I ignored his outburst and returned my gaze to Lawman. "Well?"

He sighed and diverted his gaze to the table. "I guess you can say that I was always meant to be part of the gang. I never had a choice."

I frowned, growing impatient of his vagueness. "What do you mean? C'mon Lawman, we don't have all fucking day!"

This earned a kick from Ethan under the table. I rolled my eyes – Ethan was too soft. And that was a sentence I never thought I'd say. He had turned into this scared little girl who was afraid of his own shadow. Tom's return wouldn't help this – it had put him even more on edge.

I had been used as bait numerous times on missions – often Ethan would be the one to suggest it! I understood that this case was a lot more intense, but our training and mindsets were the same. I was finally realising why relationships within the agency were not advised – they could get you killed.

I would die for Ethan on the spot and he would do the same for me. And both scenarios made me distracted.

"I grew up with Michael and the gang... I was practically raised by those crooks," Lawman was getting even more fidgety and he was wringing his fingers nervously.

"If I have to ask you to be clearer one more time Lawman, you'll regret it! What do you mean? Did your parents work for my father? Did he find you on the street? Explain!" I was almost grinding my teeth in annoyance.

"You know what? I think that this conversation can be saved for tomorrow... I'm really not feeling well. I think I'll just – " he sprung from his seat and hurried towards the door before I could blink. What the fuck? I was up and after him immediately but it seemed I didn't have to be so hasty.

A man stood up suddenly from a booth near the exit and blocked Lawman's way. My blood chilled and I was ready for an attack. The man's hood was up so I couldn't see his face and Lawman let out an audible whine when he recognised him.

I was about to turn and tell Ethan to run when the man pulled his hood down.

Tom.

What the fuck was he doing here? Was he stalking us? We had only left him about an hour ago! That was it – he was out of the plan. The guy was a creep who followed people –I never had a good feeling about him. I'd always known he was a bit weird, and this just proved it.

"What do you think you're doing here?" I snapped as Tom dragged Lawman back to the table. Ethan had gone stiff and his eyes were glued to his hands that rested on the table. I needed to bring him home – he had gone into shock and now the cause of that shock was here, practically poking him with a stick. Couldn't Tom just leave Ethan alone for five fucking minutes?

"I'm here to make sure that Hugh doesn't chicken out again. Now sit," he instructed Lawman, who looked like he was about to argue but decided against it. We all sat down around the table. I made sure to take the seat next to Ethan and keep Tom well away from him.

"Chicken out from what?" I asked with a sigh. I wanted them to know they were wasting my precious time.

"Hugh?" Tom looked to Lawman who looked like he was about to be physically sick. Even Ethan displayed an interest.

"If someone doesn't speak in the next five seconds, I'm gonna – " I started to threaten but Lawman interrupted me.

"There was something I've been meaning to tell you – something I should have told you already," he took a shaky breath and seemed to panic once again, "Tom, is this really necessary? I mean, it's not exactly something that he needs to know!"

Tom gave him a stern look. "Yes he does need to know – I can't believe you haven't told him already. I told you to tell him as soon as he knew you were undercover!"

"Well, it was kind of hard when he acts like his fucking watchdog 24/7!" Lawman threw his thumb to Ethan with an immediate apologetic look for his misdirected outburst. "I'm sorry... It's just... I guess it just became impossible when I didn't tell him straight away."

Ethan had perked up completely and had his 'I'm Harry's protector, thou shall not hurt him or I shall fuck thou up!' look on his face. "Hugh?" he said dangerously quiet.

Lawman gulped and started taking deep breaths. Jesus, was he for real? He sounded like he was preparing himself for labour.

"That's it – I'm outta here!" I huffed and stood up.

"I'm your brother."

There was a silence – a silence so deafening I wanted to scream. All eyes sprung to me and waited for my reaction. I felt like all emotion had left my body and I was just an empty vessel. What had he just said to me?

"I don't have a brother," I whispered, staying standing.

Ethan reached over and took my hand, leading me to sit back down. He kept my hand in his once I did. I was numb and didn't know how I was supposed to react. How funny how the roles had reversed so shockingly – Ethan was now the 'less fucked up' one – for the time being, anyway.

I wondered how long it would last before something else happened to the two of us – would any more of Ethan's 'dead' boyfriends arrive through the shabby door of this diner? Would my mother rise from the dead, flailing her arms towards me as if it was a long overdue reunion she'd been planning for years?

Wait, what if this was all one big episode of a prank show? Would I be on MTV?

"Harry? Harry!" Lawman was about to reach over and shake my arm until he saw me narrow my eyes at his nearing hand. "Sorry... you just spaced out there..."

"No I didn't," I argued instantly. I felt I had to make it clear that I wasn't accepting what he had just told me by rejecting everything he said. Lawman couldn't be my brother. The very thought was making me ill.

"Okay..." Lawman hesitated, "Let me be clear – We're half brothers. I never knew my mother. Rumour has it that Michael killed her when I was a baby and hit the road. That was probably not long before he met yourmother. I was practically raised by one of his side-kicks. He was a good substitute father, in his own way. Michael had him killed last year," Hugh paused and swallowed hard before continuing, "I found out about you years ago but when I looked you up, it said you had died – obviously that was your cover story for the agency. When Tom told me that you were still alive and after he killed Tony – the man who raised me – that was how he convinced me to bring Michael down once and for all. I'm sorry I'm only telling you this now, Harry."

He looked at me with pleading eyes. I didn't know how to feel. I couldn't react. It was overwhelming and I felt like I was being given too much news to process.

"I don't believe you," I stammered, clutching Ethan's hand even tighter. He was my anchor above these merciless waves – I was being brought to the point of drowning so many times only to be resurfaced by a squeeze of his hand.

"I wouldn't lie to you... not about this," Lawman said in a pleading tone, his eyes widening with desperation for me to understand. But I couldn't understand – he had known he was my brother all along... No – no. This was all too wrong.

I had never even fathomed my father having any other children. I don't know why – it was naive of me to think he hadn't knocked up other women up over the years. But now that I had a blood relative sitting before me, it was more than overwhelming. My only other relatives had both either wanted me dead or tried to kill me.

"Think about it – why was it that you hated me so much, Harry? Who do I remind you of so much that from the moment you met me, you despised me?" Lawman was clutching at straws here and was leaning forward over the table towards me.

I remained quiet, my jaw clenched tightly to stop the tears leaving my eyes. I wouldn't look like a fucking weakling – not in front of those two.

"Everyone says I'm the image of my father," Lawman said bitterly, giving me the final blow of his revelation.

"I... I can't talk about this now," I muttered and stood up again. I couldn't listen anymore – I couldn't sit there and listen to this stranger tell me that he was my long lost brother.

Would there ever be a day when I wasn't slammed with more revelations? When would it stop?

I felt my throat closing up and I didn't know why I was getting so emotional over Lawman of all people.

My brother.

"Harry, –" Tom began but was quickly quietened by Ethan.

"No. That's enough for tonight. Enough damage has been done today," he spat, glaring at the two of them with such ferocity, I even shivered. "Let's go, Harry. We'll talk to you two first thing. For now, leave us be."

They didn't respond – this was a wise decision. Ethan led me out of the diner and back to our car. I didn't speak the entire way and felt my emotions start to get the better of me.

I'd had a big brother all of this time. That was what stuck in my mind – a big brother who could have protected me. Who I could have gone to stay with, perhaps. It made some sense why Lawman's face annoyed me so much – his eyes were mirror images of my – our – father.

Ethan sped back in the direction of our house, keeping his hand on my knee the entire drive. My fingers were wrung together and my eyes couldn't focus on any one thing. It was impossible to swallow this information. Hugh Lawman was actually Hugh Taylor.

When we missed the exit for our neighbourhood, I raised my eyes questioningly to Ethan, ready to point out his mistake, only for him to raise his finger to his mouth, silencing me.

We drove in silence for another fifteen minutes, not giving the audio devices in the car anything to listen to. I wanted to ask him where we were going but didn't want the operative on the other end of the listening device to think anything was up.

Eventually, my questions were answered as we pulled into a shabby yet charming B&B on the side of the road. It looked homely and the sign indicated there were vacancies.

Ethan took my hand once we parked the car and led me inside, squeezing and stroking his thumb along the top of my hand. We both had received massive revelations today – revelations that were enough to floor most people.

I understood why we weren't going back to the house. He didn't want to live a lie tonight inside in that device infested house and neither did I. We sorted out a room for the night towards the secluded back of the house. The woman at the tiny front desk was old and welcoming – she wouldn't give us any grief.

Once we closed the door to our tiny yet perfect room, I felt like I could breathe again. The double bed had floral bed linen to match the walls and the carpet was the most disgusting colour of vomit-green but I loved it. It was our safe haven for the night.

Ethan walked up behind me once he'd ensured the door was securely locked. I was standing in front of the bed, my hands braced on the bed board. I needed to feel something beneath my hands to know that this was reality. That I wasn't just dreaming this entire fucked up sequence that was my life.

"Are you okay?" Ethan whispered. He was standing so close to me I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. We hadn't spoken about us since the funeral today. Jesus, it felt like weeks ago. It felt like weeks since I'd kissed him before Harvey and Jennifer caught us. Weeks since I'd opened myself up to the mere possibility of being able to shut my father our every time I looked into Ethan's eyes. And then weeks since the amazing Tom returned, tarnishing my progress.

"I should be asking you that," I chuckled uneasily, not turning around to face him just yet. I felt like a thousand emotions were spinning around in my head like a Ferris wheel and my arms were too short to reach out and grab onto one. I was a spiralling mess.

Well, I would be a spiralling mess if it wasn't for the man standing behind me. The man who had now just tentatively placed his hand on my upper arm, coaxing me to face him.

When I didn't turn around immediately I heard him sigh tiredly – a sign that he was growing sick of my uncertainty. He dropped his forehead onto my shoulder, keeping his hand on my other arm.

"Can we just be other people – just for tonight? I'm not me and you're not you. We're just two people in love with no worries in the world apart from what breakfast is being served in the morning. Will you please just let me touch you without recoiling? Even if you're unsure if you love me like that or not, can you at least let me hold you? I..."

I turned around at this, resulting in him stumbling backwards at the surprise movement.

When my eyes found his I felt like my heart-rate was settling and the Ferris wheel was slowing down. We both knew that the love between us was stronger than we could ever understand.

His eyes looked pained and tired – more tired than I'd ever seen them. And I knew that Tom was only a part of this.

"Why are you so afraid this time? It's always worked before," I whispered, reaching out to touch his cheek gently. I was baiting away my memories with a fiery stick, daring them to taunt me. For the first time, the overwhelming urge to love Ethan as much as he had loved me was enough to forget the past.

He knew exactly what I meant by my question – why he was so scared that using me as a bait wouldn't work.

"Because this time I have a gut feeling – my gut is always right, Harry," he moved closer to me, resting his hand over my own that was caressing his cheek, "This plan isn't as indestructible as we think... I just know it."

I sighed and shook my head, dropping my eyes. "Ethan, there's no other option. We've examined other options and they don't work. Nothing else works!" I said bitterly.

I raised my eyes back to his and was startled to see them full of tears. "Please don't do this, Harry. I'm begging you."

"Ethan..." I murmured, closing the small gap between us and encasing him in my arms, holding him tightly and stroking his hair. "I have to. There's no other choice."

He backed away from me, fighting his way out of my arms with eyes blazing. "No, you don't have to! There is another choice! We could run away together – start a new life!"

I smiled sadly at the impossible dream. "And live the rest of our lives looking over our shoulders? We'd have both Michael and the agency looking for us. We wouldn't last six months."

"Why are you so against us being happy? Why? Do you want to die?" he was shouting now and the tears were dripping from his eyes. I'd never seen him like this. He was panicking and I could see how overwhelmed he was after the day's events.

"No, Ethan. I don't want to die. But I don't want to live the rest of my life in fear! This is the best opportunity I'll get to keep you safe, –"

"No. Don't you dare say that you're doing this for me! Because I don't want this – I don't want you near that man. He will rip you to shreds, Harry! And you know what? When he comes looking for me after probably torturing you to death, I won't run. I'll even go to him first. So you're risking your life for nothing – you're being a fucking reckless idiot."

Ethan's voice was hoarse by the end of his speech and he was forcibly sobbing now. The tears were dropping from my eyes too and I couldn't speak through the lump in my throat.

If we had another option, I would take it. I would take it with open arms and kiss it for good measure! But we had nothing else. The plan we had was our only shot – and it was a damn good shot, too!

It pained me beyond words to see Ethan so hurt. And it pained me even more to know that I couldn't give him what he wanted. In two days time the plan would be put in motion. I wasn't willing to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder for Michael or Dawson to catch us.

It was no life to live.

Ethan loved me too much which was why he wanted me to abandon this risky project. But he didn't understand that I loved him too much to abandon our only chance of happiness.

Michael Taylor was in the country to kill us. Dawson was undoubtedly helping him, practically leading him to our doorstep. It was now or never.

"Ethan, please," I murmured, walking to him and holding my hand out, wanting him to take it. I wanted to hold him and love him for tonight. And for every other night once this was over. He just needed to accept that I was doing this.

"No. I'm not letting you touch me if you're going through with this, I swear to God, Harry," he was struggling to get the words out and he backed away from my hand.

I swallowed hard, grabbing my hair in frustration.

"I'm doing this for us! Why can't you get it through your thick skull?" I shouted, turning around and kicking the leg of the bed. I was getting so angry with the entire situation – why couldn't he just understand? Why did our lives have to be like this?

Ethan shook his head, his fists clenched. "My gut is never wrong."

"Well there's a first time for everything," I replied.

I knew that was a low-blow. My trust in Ethan and his gut instincts was a strong foundation in our relationship. Doubting him had never come into the equation before. Until now. Our plan would work. We had it down to a tee – I wouldn't let it fail. I wouldn't enter into something unless I was sure of its success.

"Fuck you," he snapped, turning to unlock the bedroom door.

"Where are you going?" I threw my hands up in the air in desperation. Why couldn't he just stay with me? This argument was pointless. Us in pieces was pointless.

"I have to meet Dawson, remember? I'll meet you back at the house... this was a mistake," he muttered, fumbling aggressively with the lock.

"Please, don't be like this. I wish you would just see things from my point of view," I said quietly, the tears still flowing down my cheeks silently. How had this happened? We had come here to comfort and be with each other without the world looking in on us for once. Now he was storming off and I was in crying like a baby.

"Well you know what I wish? I wish I didn't love you so damn much. It would make my life a lot easier." He finally got the lock open and stormed out, slamming the door.

I sunk onto the edge of the bed, gripping the sheets. That was probably the worst thing he'd ever said to me. I knew he didn't mean it. But it still hurt – a lot.

Well, if I thought about it, maybe he did mean it. I mean, it made sense. Not loving me would make his life a lot easier. My life would be a lot easier if I wasn't in love with him – that was for sure. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Would he? Would he truly turn off his feelings for me if given the chance?

I lay back onto the bed, the tears flowing harder now. There was no use in speculating on what was said in the heat of the moment. I would only torture myself. I needed to stop crying like a little bitch and put my game-face on. I needed to forget the hatred and betrayal in Ethan's eyes – it was killing me.

I couldn't go back to that house tonight. I couldn't go back to the coldness that would greet me. I would see him tomorrow. At least here I could fall asleep and hopefully dream of better times. Times when love wasn't a fucking inconvenience.

Jesus I was turning into a fourteen year old girl. I needed to badly get a grip.

Turning onto my side I pretended that I was back in our apartment in the agency, asleep in the room next door to him. I pretended that we were getting up the next day to do a few laps of the track and then play some pool. I pretended that my father never existed and that I used to sneak into Ethan's bed most nights, nothing holding us back apart from the rulebook in our contract on co-workers relationships.

But through all of my pretence, I couldn't stop the tears.

I couldn't even think rationally about what Lawman had told me anymore. Everything was just building and building in my chest and the fact that Ethan didn't support me anymore made it all catastrophic.

I didn't move a muscle for hours. I must have fallen asleep because I was suddenly brought back into consciousness by the sound of the bedroom door opening. Fuck – I'd forgotten to lock it after Ethan left.

I looked around the room for any object that could be turned into weapons but found none. My bare hands would have to do on this intruder.

I sprung up in the bed, ready to pounce.

When I saw who my 'intruder' was, I sat back down on the bed instantly. I should have known it would be him.

"You didn't lock the door," Ethan said in a quiet voice, now locking it behind him. He had changed his clothes, indicating that he'd been at the house since his meeting with Dawson.

"I forgot."

He walked forward slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed. There was a silence and I was afraid to speak. I didn't want to hurt him more than I already had.

"I didn't mean what I said... about not wanting to love you," he murmured, his eyes trying to find mine in the darkness of the room.

"I know." My voice caught and I felt he lump in my throat once again, tears filling my eyes. I was desperate to hide my emotions and stop acting like such a baby. But I loved him too much to hide.

At my choked voice his eyes saddened. "I'm sorry – so, so sorry. I shouldn't have said it. I love you so much and that's the only reason I got so mad. My life would be nothing without you, Harry."

He moved on the bed so he was sitting closer to me, his hand edging towards me in uncertainty. He didn't know if he was welcome or not.

I stifled a sob and moved slowly into his arms, holding myself back from springing onto him. I just wanted to forget where we were and what we were doing in the upcoming days. I just wanted it to be me and him.

He drew me into his chest, pulling me onto his lap in a quick movement. I didn't react only to drop my head into the crook of his neck and try and urge the tears away. I wanted to spend tonight being happy – or at least as happy as we could be in the circumstances.

"I love you," I whispered against his neck, making him shiver. There was no more fight left in us. I just wanted to hold him.

His breathing was rattled and I moved my head so my lips were positioned against his neck. I needed to test my boundaries and do what felt right. And right now, all of Ethan felt right.

I kissed up his neck gently, trailing my lips along his jaw line when I reached it. His hands gripped into my shirt tightly, his head lolling back.

As I kissed him gently, coming close to his mouth and then kissing away from it, I felt him get impatient. There was a smile on my lips when he finally was sick of being teased and grabbed my head, bringing my lips to his.

He kissed me softly at first and we took it slow. I turned so I was straddling him and my fists were knotted in his hair. I had never felt so deliriously in love before and it meant that I could barely breathe with a huge knot in my stomach that made my mind blank.

I gasped as he bit my bottom lip, sucking on it gently. He ran his hands down my back, leaving trails of fire behind them. I moved my body, trying to get closer to him and the movement caused him to moan softly, breaking our lips to gasp.

"Harry," he began, but I didn't allow him to speak. I put my lips over his again hungrily, the ability to take this slow becoming a distant memory. My heart-rate was increasing as was my breathing.

"Take off your shirt," I whispered huskily, looking at him heavy eyes. He swallowed hard and pulled it off over his head, discarding it on the ground. We looked at each other for a few seconds, our heavy breathing and racing hearts filling the silence.

He raised his hand to push my hair out of my face, trailing it down my neck and chest until he caught the end of my shirt and pulled it over my head in one swift movement.

The feeling of skin-on-skin was overwhelming. I could see the desire in his eyes too before he started kissing along my collarbone, nipping with his teeth gently. I bit my lip and hissed as I felt the heat rising between us.

Pushing him so he was on his back I positioned myself on top of him, briefly looking at him before devouring his lips again. His moans were like music to my ears as we moved our bodies together, not able to get enough of each other.

"Harry, I love you," he gasped out a number of times – I knew he was saying it because in his head he was convinced he wouldn't get to say it again in a few days time. But I wanted him to forget about his worries. I knew the plan would work. And if I couldn't convince him of that, I just wanted him to forget about it, if even for a while.

As we discarded the rest of our clothes and our moans became near-impossible to stifle, I found myself completely forgetting about it all too. All I knew was that the man in my arms was all I wanted and needed. And the way he was making me feel right now should be illegal.

We held each other close all night, our heartbeats in sync. It was perfect. I felt like I could finally breathe again.

In the early morning hours as we both dipped in and out of consciousness, Ethan spoke. "I just want to protect you from everything and everyone. I'm so scared."

I don't know if he realised I was awake too or not but I replied instantly. "It's all going to be fine – I promise."

"You can't promise that."

I raised my head to look at him, his eyes full of concern. All I wanted was to wipe that concern away. I rose and started kissing up his neck.

"No, Harry... I can't stop thinking about this. What if, –"

"What if what?" I whispered sensually, flicking my tongue against his lip, teasing him again. My hands roamed down his arms and along his lower stomach.

His breathing started becoming heavier and I could tell he was struggling to think rationally. "Harry –"

"What?" I murmured, kissing him hungrily and feeling the knot in my stomach make itself known once again.

"I... I don't know," he whispered, grabbing my head and bringing my lips to his again when I pulled back.

We were in a frenzy of kissing and moving and touching when he gasped out the sentence that I'd heard so often over the years yet which I would decide to ignore the one time it mattered most - I just didn't know how much it would matter.

"My gut is never wrong."

So this is Chapter Thirteen and I'm hoping you all like it... there's big things coming up in the next few chapters so get ready!!

Anyway, please vote if you enjoyed and comment!! Thank you so much for all of your wonderful support, I'm so happy that this story is being enjoyed by so many <3

I haven't edited this but I'll reread it ASAP... I have a LOT of college work at the moment so getting time to write is unfortunately becoming a rare thing :(

Sorry for babbling once again xD Hope you're all having a good day!

-O.