Chapter 45

Ren turned away from the mural of mutilated bodies and gagged. He covered his mouth tightly with both of his hands. He squeezed his eyes shut and begged for the images of death to go away. They didn't. They were there to stay, to torment him forever, and there wasn't anything he could do.

And there wasn't anything he could do to help the people in the photos. That was in the past. It had already been done.

"They'll hear you," Ashton softly said. Ren almost missed it over his harsh gagging.

But it was what he needed to hear at the moment. He took in a deep, ragged breath, his eyes still closed, and thought about his mom. He thought about the forest and the mountain, how he felt when he was at his happiest. He wished he could be there now. In the middle of the forest without a care in the world about anything else.

He wished life was as easy as pain and death.

Ashton stood close by him. He was hovering by the door, listening, and Ren was glad that he was because he couldn't do anything, but trying and fight off nausea.

"They're heading back."

Ren sagged onto the desk. He folded his arms and hunched over onto the cool surface. He didn't care about leaving fingerprints behind. He didn't care about anything except trying not to think about the pictures.

How could someone be so cruel? How could anyone looking at that day after day without going insane?

He heard Ashton move. He peeked down at the ground. Ashton was standing in front of the wall.

Ren balked. "How can you look at it?"

How can you even stand it?

"It's fine," Ashton said.

It wasn't fine. Even the tone of his voice gave away how much he didn't think this was fine. That settled some of Ren's twisting gut. He didn't want to think of the implication if Ashton wasn't bothered by the gory death in front of him.

Ashton stood there. Ren watched him. He couldn't look away. It wasn't the pictures that he cared about so much now though there was no way that he couldn't be unbothered by them. But at that moment, he was watching every move Ashton made. Every small change in his body language and insignificant twist of his facial expression. He didn't know what he was looking for. He didn't understand why he was so fixated on Ashton right then and there.

But he was waiting for something. He didn't know what though.

"These are new."

"I don't want to hear that."

His gut clenched.

All the things he heard about the Hunter Society never sat right with him. They were brutal and uncaring. They fought like they were hunting down demons and not people.

Hearing it and seeing it were vastly different things. He wasn't prepared for this.

He laid his head back down on his folded arms. He couldn't have known what they were walking into. Yes, he knew the Hunter Society was full of fucked up people, but he didn't know that it was going to be like this. He knew about the destruction and violence that had happened hundreds of years ago.

But that was so long ago. How could it be the same? How could nothing have changed in such a long time?

He was never going to get an answer. He would never understand why people were like this. He just wished that he could stop chasing after answers that didn't exist and that would never make sense to him.

He heard Ashton move again. He walked over to the desk, hovering just by Ren's side. Ren focused on Ashton's body heat. He tried to anchor himself to it and to not think about the pictures. It helped to ease some of the tension in his chest, but his eyes were still burning with unshed tears.

"Is there anything I can do?"

The soft spoken words were strange coming from Ashton. He didn't sound like himself.

The tension was back. It was spreading throughout his chest and up his neck. His throat was tight as he felt Ashton step even closer. He was standing right there. If Ren moved even an inch they would be touching.

Butterflies fluttered in his stomach. It reminded him of the time in his bedroom. And when Ren had bitten Ashton.

"I'll be fine." Another lie. They were both lying to each other.

They knew. It was obvious that Ashton knew Ren was lying. And it had to be obvious that Ren knew Ashton was lying.

That was okay. They didn't trust each other anyway.

Ren turned his head. He peeked out of the small cave he'd created with his arms. It was darker in the room now. It was evening and the sun had lowered to the point that shadows were dancing through the window. Ashton's face was covered in them. Ren was thankful for that. It was more obvious in the light how beautiful Ashton was. It was harder to focus when Ren could only think about how good he looked.

Ashton was looking back at him. His light brown eyes were faintly mixed with red as he was coming down from using his power. Ren was caught in the color. It wasn't just him craving Ashton's blood. It wasn't even him lusting after Ashton's body.

There was this longing he'd never felt before. He wanted to be by Ashton's side. That was it. He wanted to spend time with him and that was enough to make him happy.

Ashton moved closer still, inching his head down. Ren held still. Ashton's nose bumped Ren's.

"Is this okay?"

Ren's eyes flickered to Ashton's mouth. He licked his lips and met Ashton's eyes again.

"Yes."

Ashton pressed his lips to Ren's.

It was too much yet not enough. Ren stood rigid, frozen at the thought of what he was doing. His stomach twisted.

Ashton pulled away.

He turned his face and wiped his mouth. Ren watched him, but he didn't say what he wanted to say.

"Sorry."

Ren shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

He was prepared to never talk about this. Ashton was good at denying the truth and Ren was going to let him because he was scared of it all. It was better to just let things go than chase after a reality that was never going to be real.

Ashton moved around the desk. He moved elegantly, hands at his sides and that stoic look on his face that Ren hated so much. But the look was so unapologetically Ashton that Ren found some sort of twisted comfort in it. It wasn't at all like the feeling of comfort he got when he was home with his mom.

This sort of comfort was burning with a blistering heat that rose throughout his body like a tidal wave.

"Ren." Ashton hovered across from Ren. He was looking down at something.

Ren swallowed a groan. "What is it?"

After seeing what was on the wall, he didn't want to imagine what Ashton was going to tell him.

Ren peered up. Ashton was looking at a picture frame put off to the side. It felt insignificant compared to everything else. The large monitor took up most of the desk and what room was left was reserved for a stack of papers twelve inches thick and a notepad left blank. There was a black pen resting on top of the notepad as if someone had been ready to write something down, but hadn't had the chance. The desk was neat though. There were barely any wires. The ones that were poking out of the monitor were neatly folded back and wrapped together so that they almost blended in with the desk.

The picture frame didn't fit right. It was on the edge, barely hanging on. A gust of wind could have knocked it over it was that close to the corner. It felt careless. Whoever sat at this desk couldn't have looked at the picture often. It was placed at an odd angle. Opposite of the monitor and the notepad. And if the person ever looked at the photo they would also be looking at the bloody massacre hanging on the wall.

"Come here," Ashton said. His words were firmer this time, leaving no room to refuse. Ren wasn't going to. He was already walking over.

He made sure to keep his distance. He didn't trust himself. Not that he was going to do anything to Ren or make a fool out of himself. He didn't trust himself to not fall even further for Ashton Mantel. It was inevitable now. The seed had been planted and it was only a matter of time before Ren was utterly in love with the irritating vampire.

He was going to try his hardest though not to. Even if that was going to be an impossible task.

Ren was expecting something a lot worse than an innocent family photo. That had a lot to do with the horrific photos taped onto the far wall. He expected so much worse than the simple photo of a man and woman with their teenage son.

But maybe it was as bad as he thought it was going to be.

Standing between the man and the woman was Darrien.

That wasn't even the worst of it.

The man in the photo was the man at the rally.

Ren reached out, but Ashton stopped him.

His hand wrapped around Ren's wrist, tightening just enough to snap Ren out of the trance like state he'd been pulled under. He blinked, trying to get the fogginess out of his vision. He was caught there for a moment, still processing what he'd just seen.

"Who is that?" He asked.

He knew that it couldn't be good. He already knew that that man had been at the rally, but he was in such shock that he couldn't quite put his figure on who exactly he'd been.

"That is the President of the Hunter Society." Ashton murmured the words, but they felt like they were being yelled into Ren's ears.

His heart ached. His stomach dropped and he felt all the strength in him give away.

"And it looks like your friend is his son."

Ren tore his hand out of Ashton's grip. That was the truth. Ashton saying it was the nail in the coffin.

"He's not my friend."

Ashton snorted. "Okay."

Ren glared at him. "He's not. What's your problem anyway? It's none of your business."

Ashton glared back, his brown eyes glowing red for a second. "It is my business when you're getting caught up with vermin like him. You don't have just your life to worry about anymore. You have mine as well."

Ren stepped back. "I'm not going to intentionally get you killed."

He hoped Ashton didn't know that Ren had been about to do that just half an hour ago. He wasn't exactly proud that he'd wound up in such a dark place, but he also wasn't going to let Ashton walk all over him like this. He was done being the punching bag. It didn't matter if he deserved it a little. He wasn't going to let it happen either way.

Something flickered in Ashton's eyes. Ren thought he recognized what was going on in Ashton's head, but he couldn't quite grasp onto it fully. And maybe Ashton did know that Ren had been to the point of killing himself. Ren had been in the middle of the forest, he'd been distraught, and maybe Ashton had felt that the entire time, miles away.

Ren wouldn't know. He'd probably never know.

Like the kiss, they were never going to talk about it.

Just then, there was the slamming of a door. Ren stared wide-eyed at the door of the office as stomping footsteps echoed from down the hall.

"Fuck," Ashton hissed as he grabbed Ren's arm.

The two of them clamored to the window of the office. Ashton threw it open and before Ren could even think about it, Ashton was dragging him through.

They rushed out without looking, falling to the grassy ground. It was dark, the sun setting, and the wind was howling.

"Well, isn't this lovely."

Ren looked up and internally cursed.

They were surrounded by the Hunters from before.