Chapter 41

Euphoric. Ren clenched Ashton's wrist with one hand and placed the other one on the back of his neck. His fangs pierced Ashton's skin with barely any resistance. Blood filled his mouth and he moaned as the sweet taste covered every taste bud. His eyes slid close as he pressed Ashton closer to him, afraid that any second the godly nectar was going to be ripped away from him. Ashton stood rigid for a few seconds, but the more Ren took from him, the more he sagged into Ren's embrace.

The thing no longer scratched on its cage. It curled up inside of him, purring like a house cat being petted. Fireworks were bursting behind his eyelids. He gulped down drink after drink, yet it never felt like it was enough.

He pulled away, licking his lips and running his tongue over his fangs. When he opened his eyes, he looked at the bleeding wound. The small puncture wounds were already almost sealed and for some reason Ren liked that. He liked the sensation of his fangs sliding into of Ashton and how the first gush of blood was the sweetest. He watched as the bite healed and just before it fully disappeared, he licked over it.

Ashton startled at the sudden touch. Ren pulled back further to look at his face.

His eyes were glazed over and his mouth was slightly hanging open.

Ren bit his bottom lip. His gut clenched.

He inched closer. Ashton gazed back at him, but he looked so far away. Ren felt the same. He was flying in the clouds and everything around him was meaningless. The only thing that mattered was Ashton.

Ren just barely brushed his lips against Ashton's. He couldn't go further than that. As much as he wanted to kiss him as hard as he could, he still knew that this was wrong. They weren't supposed to be together like this.

He turned his head away. Before he could even process his thoughts, his mouth was moving back down to where he'd bitten Ashton. He slotted his mouth exactly over where he'd sunk his fangs in. Ashton's breath hitched. He grabbed onto Ren's biceps. Ren held onto him harder, sure that Ashton was going to push him away. He didn't though. They were frozen like that for a long period.

"How much can you take?" Ren idly thought about how much he had to drain from Ashton before he passed out.

"You can bite me again," he said. There was a slight quiver to his voice, but he was good at masking it. But Ren was so much better at reading him than he ever was before.

He could pick out the slightest change in Ashton's heartbeat, in every uptick of his breathing, and he could feel how Ashton's body tightened or loosened based on how he was feeling. This connection—whether it was the bond or not—had brought them closer.

Ren grabbed onto Ashton's hips. His hands were pressed so hard into his sides that he might have left bruises. Ren's gut twisted as he imagined Ashton's light skin covered in dark purple spots in the shape of his hands. The thing riled up, ecstatic at the imagery. There was an almost like whisper in the back of his mind tempting him to do it and see if his imagination was even close enough. Because he knew that the real thing would be so much better.

He felt only slightly ashamed at his meandering thoughts. His head was too fuzzy for him to see how fucking messed up his thoughts were becoming.

Though his hunger was sated—and he could go on for the rest of the day on just this—he wanted more. He yearned for it.

Ashton clutched onto him. His lean body molded perfectly against Ren's, as if they'd been made for each other.

The second time he bit Ashton, it was a different experienced.

The first bite had been something new and had raised all his senses on high alert. He was still buzzing on the aftermath, his limbs full of static and he felt like he needed to run a mile to get it out of his system.

The second time was all about the pleasure. With his hunger sated, all there was to fulfill was his want and desire for the blood. Somewhere in there, his attraction for Ashton was lumped with the blood. They were almost one because the blood was part of Ashton.

Ren's brows furrowed as he drank deeply. Ashton was holding onto him completely now, sagging into Ren as he became weak from being drained.

Of course, Ren knew better than to think that Ashton was completely out of it. He could still feel a layer of strength that was greater than his own beneath the surface. And that made drinking from Ashton so much better. Ren had never been the strongest in the room. Even when it came to humans—who he was technically stronger than because he was half-vampire (and witch as well)—his confidence was so fragile that they were able to beat him down with hateful looks and words.

Ren almost understood it now. He loved the way he was overpowering Ashton, taking from him as Ashton submitted to him. He took what he wanted and it didn't matter if he was draining Ashton down to the last drop. He didn't care.

He moaned, nuzzling into Ashton's neck. His whole body was burning with how good it tasted. The arm blood flowed straight down and he felt himself get hard.

His eyes flew open.

He had to force himself to detach his fangs. A low whine escaped him, but he didn't give in for a second time. He couldn't even look down at the wound—at the mark he'd put on Ashton—because he would lose it. It took everything in him to step back and even then, he hadn't let Ashton out of his grip.

I won't let him run. Not yet.

The absurd thought came out of nowhere. Ren wrinkled his nose and slightly shook his head as if that would be enough to get the ridiculous thoughts out of his head.

Ashton looked up at him with blurry eyes. They were overcast with the same look that Ren was feeling. Through the bond, Ren was picking up the faint sensations of the bite and the draining. It was different than being the one to bite and drink, but the core feeling—the attraction—was the same.

But the lust he'd been basking in, slowly faded. He came down from the high clouds, falling and crashing into reality.

Shame washed over him. Once his head was cleared, the gravity of what he'd done finally sunk in. Also the fact that he was hard and that he'd almost rutted against Ashton made him feel like a fucking idiot.

His ears were ringing and his throat went tight.

"Are you done?" Ashton's voice was gravelly. His pink cheeks made Ren want to bite him one more time, but he was just strong enough to shove that feeling down.

Ren's own throat was dry.

"Yeah," he croaked. He cleared his throat, turning his head away.

"Can you let go of my arm then?"

"Shit. Sorry."

Ren jerked his hand away like it had been burned. It really did feel like it was on fire, but only because he wasn't touching Ashton. The thing was howling. It was going ballistic. He wasn't hungry as he'd been before. Now, it was an addiction. It was a craving that made his mouth water thinking about it.

It was a good thing he wasn't looking at Ashton right then because he didn't know if he would have the strength to hold himself back if he saw Ashton's glazed eyes.

For a moment, they stood in silence. Ashton was looking at him. Ren could feel his gaze searing a hole into the side of his head. As uncomfortable as he was, he didn't move in case the thing took over for a split second. That would be game over for him. While Ashton was a fast healer, Ren really didn't want to find out how far the thing and his subconscious was willing to go.

The lump in his throat got bigger as he thought about how much he liked Ashton's blood. It hadn't been just about the blood. It was the demeaning lust that made him feel like a rabid animal that made him sick to his stomach. The affects of the blood were still thrumming through his body, running along the lines of his nerves, and he still had the sweet taste in his mouth.

Unconsciously, he licked his lips.

He cursed himself. His mind wondered to the bite and how good it had felt. He wanted to do it all over again. It didn't matter if it was Ashton Mantel he was thinking about like this. It didn't matter at all.

"I hope you got your fill." Ren could see Ashton adjust himself from the corner of his eyes.

Ashton touched his neck. His fingers grazed the once more healed wound. He paused with his hand there. Ren couldn't see his face all the way, but he saw enough to make out the far away look in Ashton's eyes. Ashton pulled his hand away, shaking off the stupor, and ran a hand through his messy hair. He tried to fix it, but it only ended up making it worse.

"I didn't..." He was going to say that he didn't mean to, but it felt like such a lie.

"Warn me next time," Ashton said. It was so offhanded that it took Ren a second to actually process what he was saying.

Ren furrowed his brows. "What?"

Ashton turned away. He was fixing his shirt that had come undone in the middle of their—

Ren decided to not finish that thought.

"I've seen the way you look at me now. I don't think synthetic blood is going to help you when you get like this."

Ren pulled a face.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

He wasn't some junkie that needed to be weaned off the needle. Drinking blood was something he had to do to survive. Ashton should know that it wasn't some kind of choice.

Ashton sighed. He turned his head up, his hands frozen on the last button of his shirt. For a moment, he gazed up at the sky. There was just a sliver peeking through the tops of the trees. The sun shined down, but it had missed the two of them. The shadows kept them company, almost shielding them away from the outside world.

But Ren was paranoid. He felt eyes on him, burning into his back, and the back of his neck was tickling as if someone was standing right behind him. After the high of the blood faded, he remembered Regan and Darrien. They might have been far away, but they could still be in the forest.

Ashton lowered his hands. He tilted his head to the side, just to gaze back at Ren a little.

"I know how you feel. The bond is a two-way street."

That hadn't ever occurred to Ren. Here he'd been thinking about how the bond was affecting him and it never hit him that Ashton might be feeling the same way. But he was sure that Ashton wasn't experiencing all the things that he was. He didn't know if they were because he was a witch or if it was something entirely else.

He couldn't look Ashton in the eyes. He stared at his earlobe instead.

"Right..." He bit his lip.

There was a question on his mind. He wasn't sure if he wanted to ask.

Ashton faced forward again.

"Something's bothering you."

There was a beat of silence.

"Why did you let me bite you? You know I'm a..." The word got stuck in his throat. "...part witch."

Ren thought he'd fucked it up. It was stupid how he was walking around on eggshells when none of this was really his fault. He couldn't choose who he was and he couldn't have done anything to prevent anything that had happened. And if he was somehow at fault, Ashton was just as guilty as he was.

But trying to convince himself that didn't make him feel better. It just felt like he was giving excuses.

Something happened. Ashton faced him. It was like being hit with a lightning rod. Ren wanted to look away, but he couldn't. He felt like he was watching a car crash. Everything was moving so slow, yet, happening so fast, faster than he was able to pay attention to. Shards of the destruction were all that he could see and it was so much harder to piece together the puzzle than to just be hit with the answer.

There was a flicker of something in Ashton's eyes. Was it guilt? Was he sorry for what had happened back at his house?

Ren didn't think he was, but he was hopeful. Though it wasn't him specifically that had hurt him—had treated him like he was less than dirt—Ashton had stood there and let it happen.

Ashton looked stricken and before Ren could get the answers he so desperately wanted, Ashton shut down again.

His face became cold. He was a solid wall that had no feelings though Ren knew that wasn't the case at all. Ren had thought they were getting somewhere, that Ashton might be changing and they might be able to work things out.

But why was he kidding himself? There was nothing between them. They weren't anything, but two unlucky people that got stuck with one another. Ren didn't know what he wanted and there was no way that he was going to let the thing inside of him start making the choices.

Ashton turned up his nose. He pulled a faint grimace that was like a knife to Ren's gut.

"Don't think I don't regret it." He walked up to Ren. He didn't have to point a finger to make Ren feel so small. "I didn't like it, if that's what you're thinking. But I can't having you running around trying to drain people, can I?"

So that was it. It was all to keep Ashton's head off the chopping block. Because if Ren died, so did Ashton.

Ren felt disgusted with himself. Ashton wasn't changing. He was still the horrible person he was before.

He pressed his lips together and gave a firm nod.

"Good. I'd rather not have you getting the hots for me."

Ashton snorted. "I would cut off my own dick before that happened."

Ren stepped away, rolling his eyes and ignoring the sharp pain in his chest.

He was going to walk away. He was going to forget all of this happened and try to figure out what he wanted to do, but just then, he heard Regan's loud voice and Darrien's name.

They were heading this way.