(20) Apartment 6A

With a cautious hand, as if unsure if this is actually him, in the flesh, I turn on my lamp next to my bed.

His face lights up, and as always, his smile is brighter than the lit room.

I grin, and throw my arms around him, banging my head against his firm chest, "You can't do that again, dumbass."

"Back to dumbass?" He teases me, "I thought I've been upgraded with this whole nickname thing?"

"Shithead." I mutter.

He chuckles, "How are you?"

"How am I? Why don't you tell me where you were?" I climb out of my bed and absentmindedly start pacing about the floor.

"I-"

"Nevermind. Come with me." I grab my key, a jacket, and his hand, and with that my lights are out and we're outside of the apartment.

I unlock the still vacant apartment next to us, and flick on the light, "Does Elle know you're back?"

He shakes his head.

"J?"

Same response.

"What about Mason?"

He laughs, "Who do you think I've been staying with this whole time?"

"That dickhead, how could he not tell me?"

"Calm down, Lex. Besides, did you honestly think I ever actually completed Boy Scouts? I'm not cut out for the whole wildlife living thing."

"You could've stayed with me." I bite my lip.

"You're too hard to resist." He shrugs, "I honestly don't think I could spend that amount of time with you without doing something that would wreck everything we have."

"Stop." I blush.

I brush a strand of hair out of my eyes and look up at him again, "I can't believe you're back."

"What, no welcome back kiss?"

I shake my head.

"What if I brought mistletoe?"

"I'd show you a calendar and prove to you it's not Christmas."

"What if I don't want to wait for Christmas?"

"Then," I absentmindedly start pacing again.

"What?" He gently places his hands on my shoulders and stares into my eyes.

"Then I'd have to tell you no." I bite my lip.

"You can't." A cloud of worry blows across his face, silent as early morning precipitation, "Lex." He brushes the soft pad of his thumb across my cheek.

"Mason." I choke out, "I don't know. What we are. Where we stand. What I am to him, and what I am to you? I don't know. I don't know, but here's what I do know."

I breathe out a long breathe, "When you care, truly, deeply, about a person, you go through lengths to protect them. When you generally establish literally any form of relationship, bonds form. Ties connect. And pretty soon there are multitudes, no millions, of strings. And when you leave, they break. It doesn't matter how, when, or why it happens. They break." A tear slides down my cheek, "For you, it might've been no strings attached," I inhale, "But I guess I got all tied up in that."

I go back to my room, silent droplets of moisture collecting in my eyes only to stream down my face, in beautifully terrible lines of sadness.

I look at the clock.

3:39 am

Don't be selfish. I tell myself.

Don't do it.

I guess I don't care.

Books describe girls as being perfect pristine little creatures. I may be a creature, but I'm not pristine and I'm definitely not perfect. Books tell you, you have to be strong for yourself, because there might not be anyone there to catch you.

I hope I don't hit the floor.

"Mason." I bite my lip, waiting for the phone to dial, the busy signal to go away.

"Alexis?" His voice, obviously lower from sleeping rings into my ear. With teary cheeks I smile.

"Lex, say something please babe, what's up?"

"I need to come over."

"Are you, dear god, tell me you're okay."

"I'm going to drive over to yours." I whisper, grabbing my car keys and locking the apartment once again.

I look out into the hallway, and see no trace of him.

I don't know if I could look at him right now.

Losing a friend is the worst, worse than a stupid breakup, or not getting into a collage, or even not finding any Nutella in your house on day one of your period.

"No, you're not. I'm leaving now." His voice is much more awake, "You're not driving like that."

I nod.

And then I realize he can't hear me, so I force out a small yes.

"Don't hang up Mase." I wrap my sweatshirt tighter around me.

"I promise. Where are you now?"

"I'm walking outside right now. The air is helping a lot." I try to pace my breathing.

Minutes pass by, no talking, just the memorizing sound of silence, and his raspy breathing, through the muffled speakers of the phone.

Finally a small truck pulls up, and my keys and phone clutched in hand, I open the door and slide across the adjoined seat, burying my head in his neck.

"God, Lex you're freezing."

I look down. Sure enough, my jacket had fallen off somewhere.

He reaches to turn up the heat and starts the ignition again, "I'm sorry I don't have a sweatshirt for you."

"It's okay." I lean on his shoulder, "I'm sorry I made you drive out here to take care of my pathetic ass."

"You're not pathetic."

"Yes, I am."

"Why did you let him stay with you, and then not tell me?"

"I couldn't."

"Why?" I look at him.

"Because." He begins, "Sometimes, I can't stand the way he looks at you."

"What do you mean, the way he looks at me?"

"He treats you with such innocence. Looks at you like you're a princess, treats you like a delicate flower."

"What's so wrong with that?" I frown.

"He would be a good first, I guess. Your first time, first experiences. But he doesn't treat you the way a guy should."

"Wait, hold up. First time?"

"Don't lie and tell me you're not a virgin."

I bite my lip.

He chuckles, "That's what I thought."

"Maybe I want my first time with him." I defend my drastically shrinking ego, "He's a great guy."

"He treats you like a princess, I'd treat you like a fucking queen. He looks at you with caution, innocence, which has got to be hard to do, because all I can do, anytime I even look, at you, is think about all the things I want to with you. All the things I want to be for you. I've never been with a virgin. Didn't think I'd ever, I'd feel too bad, feigning a temporary pleasure and walking away before the sun rises in the morning, and they realize they've been robbed, and they can't get it back. But you." He runs his hands through his hair, concentrating hard, staring, nevertheless, at the yellow roadlines, "I can't get enough of you Alexa. Even if nothing could ever happen down that road with us, I'd still fawn over you. I can't explain it. You just, ugh. You possess me, and I don't know how you can hold that power."

"Mason." I look at him. He pulls the car over and looks back.

In a sweep of confidence, I bring my hand up to his chin and smash my lips onto his.

AUTHORS NOTE

I'm trying to update faster for you all. I'm going to hopefully continue with these quick updates! Please read the rest of this AU as it is important.

COMMENT OF THE CHAPTER

I'm going to be starting this, finally! All you have to do is comment something about my book, it could be about a passage, or it could be answering the chapter question, but I will choose my favorite, and in every update I will post it and mention your username.

GOALS

another new thing.

in every chapter I will be posting VOTE goals and COMMENT goals.

If I hit those goals, a second update will come within for sure 3 hours to 2 days.

TODAYS UPDATE GOALS

Votes: 75

Comments: 50

QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER

In what ways do you relate to my characters?

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