Chapter 6

⪻Tell me the story of how the sun loved the moon so much, he died every night to let her breathe⪼

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It was a long, boring race. Apparently, these things go on for hours. I'll never understand what's so interesting about watching a bunch of cars go fast. The good thing is that, because Beth joined us with her girlfriend, we managed to finish with the move in one day, so Shane can sleep in his new apartment tonight. Needless to say, he already had a date lined up. Then he wonders why his crush doesn't give him the time of day ...

We all went to eat at a nearby restaurant, spending a great night together. The only downside was that Shay and Nick weren't with us. It's always great when we get all together, which happens often, but still less than when we were in college. Obviously, we all have less time now.

When, right when I was about to unlock my door, I felt Chris grab my hips and pull me back, I yelped a little, and he chuckled. "Since you complain that I'm always sleeping at your place, tonight I'm sleeping at mine." He announced.

"Oh." I won't deny I was a bit disappointed, but maybe this is a step in the right direction. I'm actually not even really used to sleeping alone, but we need to start somewhere. "Ok." I agreed, albeit sad. I need to move on, but not all at once, right? "Goodnight, then." I said, going to unlock my door.

Chris chuckled, and once again I yelped when he effortlessly gripped my hips, and pulled me back. He guided us toward his door, his sweet scent engulfing me, especially when he spoke against my ear: "We are both using my bed tonight."

My heart more than skipped a few beats, it started playing its own tango, my cheeks reddening as I thought of a different meaning for those words. I'd lie, if I said I've never once had a wet dream about Chris.

He unlocked his door with me in his arms, and I didn't even fight it, his body felt so warm and cozy against mine. He didn't leave me upon entering either, and when he closed the front door with a kick, I almost thought I was daydreaming, because that's exactly how it usually goes in my head.

"Uh ... I need my PJs." I mused as we headed toward his bedroom once he'd locked the front door.

"You can use one of my shirts."

Man, this was really identical to one of my wet dreams. Hopefully, I won't wake up calling his name as I usually do. "Toothbrush? Comb?" I wondered, just to say something and distract myself.

Chris chuckled. "You think I'd have you in my bed without being ready for you?"

Oh, my God, did he even realize what he just said and with what alluringly sexy voice? Okay, maybe he could be reading a grocery list to me, I'd still find it sexy, but how could I not be fazed when he said such things? My heart was beating like crazy.

When we got to the bedroom, Chris finally let go. He went for his closet, from which he grabbed one of his shirts. I felt mildly embarrassed, kind of wondering whether it would even fit me, since he's pretty leanly muscled and I'm no featherweight. I took it anyway, together with the small beauty bag he was offering me. "You really thought of everything." I mused, a bit surprised.

He grinned. "I know this stuff is important for you girls."

"You mean basic hygiene?" I teased.

He laughed, pushing me toward his bathroom. "There's other stuff in there, pretty much everything you normally use."

"How do you even know? Did you snoop around my bathroom?"

He grinned sheepishly, mildly embarrassed – probably also because I found a pack of tampons among all the other creams, detergents and everything I regularly use for my beauty routine. "No ..." Chris said, "I asked Meredith." His older sister, of course, she'd know better. "Besides," he placed a wet kiss on my cheek, "we've been one soul in two bodies for 20 years now, Vivy, I know everything there is to know about you, A to Z, from your favorite color to your favorite shampoo."

I didn't know what to answer, but thankfully he left me alone before I needed to say anything. I felt giddy, I won't deny it. I've never slept in his bed, not ever since we moved here, at least. When we were kids, sometimes I would crash at his place, but most of the time he slept at mine.

I was done in a matter of ten minutes, probably the fastest I've ever been, not sure whether because I was eager or because it was weird to be in the same place where he's usually naked. Amazingly, his shirt fitted me perfectly, even reached my mid-thighs. I did feel a bit awkward about sleeping half naked with him, though – usually I have full PJs on.

I yelped when, upon entering the bedroom, I found Chris a few steps away, putting on a t-shirt. More than drool at the sexy sight, though, I frowned when I spotted something odd on his back. "When did you get that?" I pointed at the tattoo on his left shoulder, just a bit under his ribcage.

"Oh," Chris turned around, successfully hiding it with the t-shirt, "you weren't supposed to see that yet." He said, a bit embarrassed.

I frowned. "Why not?"

"Because it's ... well, it's kind of a gift for you."

"My birthday was a couple of months ago." I pointed out, as if there was even a need for it.

"I know," Chris chuckled, "but ... you know what's next week?"

"Valentine's Day?"

"Before that." He rolled his eyes. "February 13th."

I thought about it, wondering what he meant. Then it hit me. I grinned like a Cheshire cat when I realized. "The anniversary."

Chris mirrored my grin, nodding. "20 years, Vivy. Exactly 20 years." From when we first met, he meant. Twenty years ago, on February 13th, the Knights moved in our neighborhood, and my mother found her long lost friend Penelope again. They were overjoyed when they realized they were close neighbors, and even more when they came to know their children were the same age.

"Let me see it." I said, pointing at his rib, where the tattoo was.

"Not yet," he shook his head, "next week."

I pouted, knowing that usually works on him, but he didn't budge. "Please ..." Nothing. "Pretty please?" I batted my eyelashes, pulling my bottom lip out to pout properly, even tilted my head to the side, in order to look way too innocent for him to refuse – which is ultimately what he does with me anyway. "Come on, Boo, I wanna see it."

"Fine." Chris rolled his eyes, albeit amused. I did yelp a little when he took off his t-shirt again, but I did my best to avoid drooling over his sexy abs. He placed a finger on his left rib, at level with the tattoo. "I'd thought about a Jigglypuff, but it might have been too childish." He chuckled.

I was at a loss for words. The tattoo was small, but the meaning was clear. It showed sun and moon, enveloped in each other, and at the center of the sun there was the letter V in a fancy font, while inside the moon there was written to whatever end. "That's ..." I brought a hand to my mouth, on the verge of tears, happy tears for once, "oh, my God, Chris, that's ... that's so beautiful!"

Because I did start crying, Chris immediately came to hug me. Part of me felt hot all over, feeling his naked chest against me, but the main one was crying way too much over his incredibly sweet gesture for me to even think about anything else.

I know he takes our sacred bond very seriously, I know he's always called me things like, his universe, his sun and moon, his everything, all sorts of endearing names. He's always made promises, vows on what we are to each other, but this ... this was above and beyond everything else. I mean, a tattoo is ... indeed forever.

I remained there crying on his shoulder, as I've done many times, except this one I was truly happy. This is the most conflicting part about my dilemma. If loving my best friend like I do only caused me pain, it would be a lot easier to detach, to move on from him and be gone. Even after 20 years. But this bond we have, it's way more than watching movies and having sleepovers. I've never felt as truly happy as when I am with Chris. And yes, all the times he dated someone, all the times he told me about them, asking for advice, it pained me more than he could possibly imagine, but even with all the suffering, there's pure happiness.

Laura says we're co-dependent, and maybe we are, but we've been the best of friends for 20 years, how can you throw all that away? It's easier to tuck away my heart and hide my feelings than simply give up on what we have. Our bond goes way more beyond my own feelings for him. It's a pure kind of love not many get to have, and I couldn't live without it.

"I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, Vivy," Chris finally spoke after a few minutes of me crying in silence in his arms, "and that things haven't always been all roses." He chuckled, placing a kiss on my cheek. "We've had our fights, the small ones and the scary ones ..."

Oh, I remember those. In twenty years, there have been 3 times where we almost fell out completely, but we always bounced back. Because that's the whole point, nothing can separate us, and even my romantic feelings for him aren't as important compared to our bond.

"Vivy, I ..." Chris went on, then stopped again, his voice uncertain, as if he needed to say something, but didn't know how, or even only if he should.

Inevitably, my heart started racing, my mind making up all kinds of scenarios where he finally reveals he's always been in love with me, that when he says I'm his universe, he means I'm the love of his life, the one and only woman he could ever be with.

I tightened my grip around his torso, my tears now slowing down as I focused on what he wanted to tell me, but he didn't speak. Chris simply rubbed my scalp, sighing against my skin as he pulled me closer into him. Maybe I was feeling oversensitive, but it felt like he was battling with himself. As if there were something he was dying to tell me, yet he knew he shouldn't.

"I could never live without you," Chris breathed out, his hot breath against my neck, "and I don't even want to try. I know it's going to be harder as time passes, but we promised, Vivy, didn't we?"

"Yes." I confirmed, my voice still half broken by tears, even though I'd ceased crying.

"Whatever happens, there's nothing that can separate us," he went on, holding me close, "even if we were to ... find out things we'd wish we hadn't, we'd work around it, wouldn't we?"

"Chris ..."

"I'd prepared a whole speech, you know." He chuckled. "Feels silly maybe. Nobody could ever understand what you are to me, what we are to each other." I merely nodded against his chest. "But you know you'll never be alone as long as I'm here."

"I know."

"I ... Vivy, I ..."

"I understand." I nodded again, well aware that he was having troubles finding the words. He's not usually shy, especially not with me, but it felt like he was really struggling, and there was no need to. You know the saying: a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words. That sums us up. Maybe I was a bit disappointed, because now it was clear that the declaration I always dream about will never happen, but, like I said, our bond goes way beyond my own feelings.