Chapter 36

"How are you feeling?" The doctor asked me with a small smile when she came in, putting on her latex gloves.

"Mostly fine." I mirrored her smile, even though I didn't feel it.

"You've been under stress lately."

I rolled my eyes, not truly mad, but annoyed. "My mom talked, huh." The downside of a small town is that there are very few ob-gyns and only one woman ... who happened to be the same one my mother went to when she was pregnant with me. If I didn't feel uncomfortable with a male doctor rummaging around my private parts, I would have had a lot more privacy, because the woman that literally helped your mom give birth to you will obviously not care about patient-doctor confidentiality at all.

Dr. Klein smiled tenderly, as she always does whenever I come here. "Your mom and I have known each other a long time, Vivian, do you really think she'd keep from me such details? Especially since they could affect your pregnancy."

"But they haven't ... right?" I asked, hopeful. Sure, I was under a lot of stress, but no actual physical damage was done, other than to my back.

"Have you been feeling weird lately?"

"Maybe a bit queasy now and then, but nothing really out of the ordinary."

"No morning sickness?"

"You said it would stop at the beginning of the second trimester and it did."

"Not always." Dr. Klein mentioned as she grabbed my chart. I watched her face attentively as she read through the vitals the nurse had taken a few moments ago. "Weight gain seems in the norm, but your blood pressure is a little high."

"How high?" I asked, immediately worrying.

"Not high enough to be a problem right now, but we better keep an eye on it." The doctor looked up at me from the chart and, having probably noticed my anxious look, she gave me a reassuring smile. "It's just routine, Vivian."

"I've never had hypertension."

"It can happen during pregnancy, especially when you're submitted to certain levels of stress, like you have been."

I couldn't help but smile sarcastically. "I like how you call it just stress, doctor. Everybody else calls it incident."

"Well, I was referring to ... everything that's been going on in your life," she noted, "but yes, such events can cause high blood pressure. It's called temporal hypertension and it usually goes away pretty easily unless ..." she didn't finish, but I knew what she meant.

"Unless the source of said stress remains present."

"It's not a big deal, we can control this, we just need to be careful." Dr. Klein gave me another one of her reassuring smiles, but I wasn't sure I could believe her. When she noticed, she took a deep breath. "Listen, Vivian, I won't lie to you, the second trimester can be very delicate in ... normal conditions. Your case is ... well, between the car crash and ... the rest, it could be difficult to tell whether there will be problems or not."

"Are you saying I could have a miscarriage?" I nearly gasped, appalled, trying to sit up better, but being unable to because of the awkward position I was in for the check-up.

"It's a possibility ... but we'll do everything in our power to avoid it." She grabbed the machine for the ultrasound. "What's important is that you rest and take it easy." Take it easy. Yeah, I really haven't heard that one before.

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"How was it?" Was my mom's first question as soon as I entered the living room, where she was busy knitting. I sincerely hoped she wasn't making another scarf for me, the last one was itchy as hell.

"Where's dad?"

"In the backyard, tending to one of his hundred hobbies." You'd think that with how active my parents are, I'd be less lazy. "I wish you'd have let me come with you."

I cracked a small smile as I walked over to her, and placed a light kiss on her cheek. "I'm fine."

"You keep saying that, but ever since Laura had to leave, you've been in a horrible mood."

"She's coming back," I pointed out, "she had a doctor appointment ... she's pregnant, too, remember?"

"She shouldn't go back and forth in her conditions." My mom shook her head, even though her eyes were still glued to her knitwork. Sometimes I wonder how such a modern soul can have such ... vintage hobbies. I never wanted to learn, or rather I tried to, but being left-handed made it a nightmare, so I gave up quickly. "I know she wants to be with you, but all that traveling isn't good for the baby."

"I know ..." I sighed, sitting on the sofa beside her. "I tried to convince her, but she won't hear it. I asked Dr. Klein if she can take her, too, but she said she will only if Laura's ob-gyn in New York agrees." I rolled my eyes. "Not meddling with another doctor's cases and whatever."

My mother scoffed. "Knowing New Yorkers, that doctor won't accept."

I chuckled for a moment. "Hey, New Yorkers aren't so bad ... Laura isn't."

"I never understood why you chose that cesspool," she scoffed, frowning at her knitwork, "you'd have been just fine in Providence or Portland."

"Yeah, because there are so many possibilities there ..." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, what did New York give you?"

I preferred not to reply, mostly because I wasn't sure whether I hadn't gotten anything out of New York City because: a) I wasn't good enough at my job; b) I settled because of Chris. I would wonder whether there are chances for my line of work, but New York City is full of publishing houses. At this point, however, I kind of wondered whether I ever really liked my job. I never wanted to do interviews and working on editing and formatting texts was super boring. What if I really settled only because of Chris?

"Are you ok, honey?"

"Yeah ..." I heaved a deep sigh, "I'm just ... thinking."

My mom stopped knitting to grab my hands, which made me look at her. "Honey, I won't tell you to get Chris out of your head – or rather heart –, because we both know you're already aware of that and it's not going to be easy. But you need to start taking your steps into a ... freer life."

I couldn't help but send her a mischievous look. "Mom, are you telling a pregnant woman to go get laid?"

She rolled her eyes, albeit smiling a little, which made me realize how much I look like her, even when it comes to hair and eyes. "Ok, first of all," she pulled back to take on her knitwork again, "I'm an 80s gal, so you won't get outrage from me when it comes to sexual freedom."

"Mom!" I laughed. "If dad could hear you ..."

"Oh, please," she scoffed, "that man was a heartbreaker at your age."

I smiled, knowing she was right. I saw pictures of my parents when they were young and I had no difficulty believing my dad broke a lot of hearts back in the day. Although, I wouldn't say he did it voluntarily. He's way too sweet for that. "I've seen the pictures, woman," I wrinkled my nose at her, "you weren't half bad either."

She could barely hide a proud smirk. "Like I said, I'm an 80s gal, there's nothing you kids can do that will shock me." Before I could reply, she sent me a side glance, adding: "You're almost 26, Vivian, yet you've barely enjoyed life."

"I have." I protested. "I mean, just because I haven't travelled, doesn't mean I haven't ... I have good friends, mom, I have you guys ... I'm fine."

"But life isn't about being fine, my baby." She gave me a worried look. "Life is so much more than just being okay. As much as I hate that cesspool that is New York, in over 6 years it should have given you many experiences, yet it didn't."

"Well, maybe I didn't tell you ..." I defended weakly, not wanting to sound like some kind of closed off nun that never went anywhere. Even though, if I thought about it, it was easy to realize that no, I never went anywhere without Chris. Other than the nights with the girls, that is.

"How much have you seen of New York City?"

"Uh ... the usual stuff," I frowned, "but not much because-"

"Because Chris hates sightseeing."

"That's not true ... I mean, yes, he hates sightseeing, but that's not why I ..." I heaved a deep sigh, unable to lie even to myself anymore. "I've really lived under his thumb all this time, haven't I?"

"It happens more than we'd like to admit," my mother conceded, "it's not your fault. If anything, it's mine."

"Mom ..."

"I always thought he truly loved you." She shook her head. "I really did. I saw how he took care of you and I ... we, your father and I always thought you were in safe hands." She heaved a deep sigh, dropping her knitwork. "If only we'd opened our eyes sooner."

I shook my head. "You couldn't have predicted it. Nobody could have and nobody did. Hell, I don't think it was even always like that. He can't have possibly faked 20 years of friendship."

"20 maybe not, but 10 or 5 ..."

"You think he was genuinely a nice kid, then something changed?" I wiggled my eyebrows at her, wondering whether that could be true. I was 15 when I realized I was in love with Chris, we were basically kids, how can you believe someone is rotten that early on?

"Maybe after college," my mom pondered, "as long as you were both here, there was no sign whatsoever." She pursed her lips. "But if I think about it, ever since you went to college, there was something slightly different in him."

"Like what?"

"I'm not sure ..." she entwined our fingers and gave me a sad smile, "I'm just glad you got out of it in time. I don't need to tell you how often these things end tragically."

"It's not really over yet." I sighed, pulling back and standing up to stretch a bit, which revealed my plump belly. Clothes have started feeling tight lately.

"He can't harm you anymore," my mom stated, rubbing the back of my hand, "you're safe." She smiled a little. "Be it only because your father isn't going to let anything else happen."

I thought about last week, when my dad literally threatened Chris to kill him in cold blood. I had never seen him so mad yet calm at the same time. "I know I disappointed him."

"Nonsense," my mom shook her head, "your dad loves you to bits, honey, nothing you could ever do could ever make him love you less." Her features turned slightly somber. "He does feel guilty, though. He feels he basically threw you into the enemy's lair by entrusting you to Chris."

"He couldn't have possibly known ..."

"He doesn't believe that." She sighed. "He feels he failed you, honey. As a father, his primary duty is to protect his daughter at all costs, and given the recent ... discoveries, he feels he failed."

"That's absolutely not true!" I slightly raised my voice, but I wasn't mad. Or not at her, but at myself. I was a complete idiot for hurting so many people. My mom, my dad, Adam, my friends, even Dylan ... everyone was convinced they contributed to it somehow, but they didn't. I did. I was the sole responsible for my own ruin. "None of you had anything to do with what happened. I did. I gave everything to someone I thought I knew." As I spoke, my voice faltered, and tears threatened to spill from my eyes.

My mom pulled me in for a comforting hug, her arms tight around me, as if trying to squeeze all the pain away. "Shh," she soothed as I let out a small sob, "It's going to be alright." She always used to say that whenever I was upset, but for the first time ever, it didn't work.

Things are far from alright. Chris shattered me into a million pieces, there's no coming back from that. For the first time ever, not even my mom's comforting embrace could break through the haze of pain clouding my mind.

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"You should know," he claimed with a cheeky smirk as he pretty much appeared in front of me, like a ghost revealing himself only once he realized I was on my own, "no one, not a single soul in the whole world has this privilege."

I frowned, not even really scared anymore, just confused. "What privilege?"

Sebastian smiled crookedly as he came to caress my cheek, but didn't dare attempt to kiss me, despite clearly wanting to - I could perceive his restraint when he kept his lips just a mere inch away from mine. "I don't get summoned." He claimed. "No one can say I run as soon as they call. Only my goddess can."

It was a romantic claim, any other woman would have been all giggles and blushes, but not me. I never thought I stood out, but now as ever I felt I wasn't like any other woman. Or rather I wasn't the woman I thought I was, nor the one I wished to become. I was stuck in a relentless limbo, between the doll Chris molded and the woman I longed to be, despite not knowing who she was.

Still, Sebastian didn't need to know all that. "Well," I said, forcing out a small smile, "lucky me, then." The warm smell of his cologne filled my nostrils and, be it the pregnancy hormones, be it his stubborn claim on me as his queen, my heart would have probably fluttered. Had I any heartbeats left to give to anybody else.

Sebastian seemed to read through me almost immediately, his blue eyes filling with concern as he gazed at me. "What's troubling you, my love?" His voice was calm and soothing, almost like a balm for my shattered soul.

I shook my head slowly, trying to repress tears. I shouldn't have called him, he only said to call him to give him an answer or in case of emergency. Feeling blue isn't an emergency, is it?

Sebastian tilted my chin up with his finger, forcing me to meet his penetrating gaze. "Tell me." He urged softly, brushing away the tears that had escaped my control.

"How did you get here?" I asked, just to avert the subject.

"That's not what you wanted to say," he claimed, cupping my face with both hands, "talk to me."

There was no way I could tell him what happened. The fact that he didn't bring it up was good news, it meant he didn't know. You don't just tell your murderous ex-boyfriend-wanna-be-husband that someone tried to kill you, unless you want that person's blood on your hands. Even if it wasn't Chris, I wouldn't paint such a lethal target on his back.

So, I opted for a half lie. "It's just the pregnancy hormones. They're making me feel all over the place," I said with a sigh, hoping he'd buy it.

Sebastian perused me for a long moment, as if trying to see whether I was lying. Eventually, he cracked a small smile, unmoving. "You really want me to believe you summoned me here because of pregnancy hormones?"

"Well, if anyone should suffer the consequences along with me, that's the baby daddy." I joked, in a foolish attempt at lighting up the mood.

He chuckled lightly at my comment, his eyes dancing with amusement as he pulled me into a tight embrace. "My love," he said softly, placing a tiny kiss on my left cheek, "my job is to lift any type of burden off your shoulders and make it mine. And if that includes pregnancy hormones, then so be it." Once again, he raised my chin to stare straight into my eyes. "This is not a whim, Vivian," Sebastian claimed, serious as ever, "or some ... distorted obsession." His face came closer enough for his lips to graze mine, yet he stil, evidently, resisted the urge to kiss me. "My feelings for you are real, raw and honest."

"I know-"

"Listen to me," Sebastian stated firmly, "whether you choose to be by my side or not, your troubles are my troubles, your battles are my battles. Whatever, whoever  threatens you or our son, I will quash. Whoever hurts you, I will annihilate. Whoever crosses your path will regret their foolish choice for the rest of their miserable lives. Whichever your answer will be, I will always be your shield and your sword."

I shivered at his words. It was both thrilling and terrifying to hear Sebastian speak so fiercely. Part of me was certain he meant every word, the other reminded me he wasn't the first man to make such wild promises.

Then again, Sebastian wasn't just any man. He was the very definition of danger. The kind of man who could make the world bow at his feet if he so chose. And yet, here he was before me, declaring that my safety and happiness were more important to him than anything else.

Even as numb as I felt, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by his words. The weight of his promises bore down on me, and I knew without a doubt that he was capable of doing as he said. I looked up at him, searching for any hint of deceit or ulterior motive, but found none. "I believe you," I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper.

Sebastian leaned in and placed a soft, reassuring kiss on my forehead before pulling back slightly. "Good," he said with a small smile, as if he hadn't just vowed to set the world on fire just for me. "Now, let's see what we can do to relieve my achy goddess." He guided me to the sofa, and helped me sit. He sat across from me, on the coffee table, and he took off my shoes, only to place my feet on his lap and start gently massaging them.

I tried to fight it, but I soon closed my eyes and let out a contented sigh as he worked his magic on my sore feet. "Will you be in trouble for coming here?" I couldn't help asking.

"In the eyes of the law, Sebastian Woodthorne is an outstanding citizen." He smirked slightly, continuing with his massage.

"But they know your ... I mean ..."

"Don't fret about these things, my love. It's not your concern."

I opened my eyes to look at him. "That's quite the fancy way of saying stay out of it." I joked. "Or ... in Michael Corleone's terms, don't ask me about my business."

"Take it this way," Sebastian said, eyes on my feet as he went on rubbing them, "the less you know, the less likely you are to be framed as an accomplice."

"I already lied to the FBI for you."

His gaze shot at me, showing surprise. I thought he was amazed by my boldness, instead his expression shifted almost immediately to concern. "FBI was here?"

I nodded. "Last week."

"Did anyone else show up?"

"No ..." I eyed him for a moment. He looked worried yet not troubled. "I should have told you sooner...and I shouldn't have called you, I'm sorry." I tried to pull back my feet, but he didn't let me.

Sebastian's blue eyes snapped to me, the harshness in them dissolving as soon as they landed on me. "Never be sorry for demanding what's yours." Did that mean what I thought? I couldn't help but blush.

Sebastian always had a way of making me feel desired, wanted...even before this whole mess, he always made me feel like I was the only woman he saw in the whole world. In other circumstances, it would have been flattering.

"I just don't want to get you in trouble," I muttered, looking down at my feet, "I mean, yes, I know whom I'm talking to, danger is your middle name, but still... I don't want to be the reason behind your misery."

Sebastian's smile widened a bit. "My love, you could never be the reason behind my misery," he claimed, "even if your call was a ruse."

"A ruse?" I repeated, confused.

"A way to get me out in the open by using you as bait."

"I would never do that." I defended immediately, sitting up straight. I might not reciprocate his feelings and be terrified by his ... alter ego, but I wouldn't actively work against him.

"I know you wouldn't." His gaze softened. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what did you mean?"

Sebastian gently placed my feet on the ground, and stood up. I thought he was going to leave, instead he kneeled before me and took my hands in his. "I meant that I know you wouldn't betray me, no matter what. But there are a lot of people out there that would use you to get to me."

"You think the FBI would stoop so low?"

"Who were these agents?" Sebastian asked, pulling back. "A man and a woman, by chance?"

"How do you know?" I frowned, baffled.

"She looked like she had Mexican origins and he looked Irish ... am I close?"

"Yes, but..."

Taking me off guard, Sebastian stood up. "They weren't FBI."

"What?!" I gasped.

"Or rather, they were, yet they weren't."

"I don't understand ..."

"Corruption runs deep, Vivian, money buys everything. Including loyalty." He explained. "These agents might not have been here on FBI business, but it goes without saying that someone sent them."

My eyes widened in shock, especially for having been so stupid. "Mrs. Woods ..."

Sebastian shook his head, hiding away from the windows yet making sure to be seen in the room. "Julia is no longer a problem."

"What ..."

"You know who's more likely to take a shot at the king, Vivian?" He smirked, seemingly thrilled, as if he weren't literally talking about an attempt on his life. "The ones closest to him."

"But Agent Ferrera, she ... she was ..."

"Officer Powell's ex-wife." Sebastian nodded again, eyes on the driveway. We were completely alone, my parents left against my dad's will just this morning, because his mother was ill and it was impossible for one of them to stay here. It took me a lot to convince them I was fine on my own, but I did conveniently omit that Adam left yesterday for Toronto after having decided he needed answers from his brother. I really just wanted peace...then out of despair I called Sebastian.

"You think he's..." the sole thought made me sick to my gut, "you think Dylan ..."

"Come on, Vivian, you more than anyone should know we can never tell if we're sleeping with the enemy." I didn't reply, the reference was way too clear to be an accident. When he turned to me, he probably spotted the hurt on my face, because he said: "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

I shook my head. He was right. I literally slept with the enemy for years. "Does this mean Dylan is in danger, too?" I asked, needing to push past the grief to focus on the matter at hand - the chance that someone could be lurking behind the shadows. Quite literally, since Sebastian couldn't take his eyes off the driveway. Darkness would soon fall, so if anyone was out there, they wouldn't have to wait long.

"Come here." Sebastian ordered, as if reading my thoughts. The fact that he pulled the gun from behind his back made me shriek and immediately obey.

He made sure I hid behind him, completely unseen from the outside, and started taking steps backwards, so that I did the same. Sebastian made sure to always shield my body with his at every step we took as we headed out of the living room and into the kitchen. "Grab those knives." He ordered, hinting at the set placed near the sink.

I obeyed dutifully and, not knowing what to do with them, I hid them in the oven. Sebastian smirked. "Quick thinking. That's my girl."

"What's going on?" I asked, albeit scanning the kitchen for anything that could be used as a weapon - not by me, but by whoever was coming for us, which was the whole reason why he'd wanted me to hide the knives.

"There's only one person that knew I would never ignore your call." Before I could ask who, Sebastian called loudly: "Come on, Tony, don't be shy!"

The sunset sky was just beginning to be replaced by the darkness of the night, yet through the patio's glass door I still could see a man step out of the shadows. He wasn't particularly tall, probably somewhat shorter than me. At his sides, two more people appeared. Agents Ferrera and Durant. I was certain I had locked that door, so they quite simply broke the glass and unlocked it.

"Come on, really? You brought backup?" Sebastian scoffed ad they entered, his gun pointed at them.

What really shocked me was realizing that there was a reason why those agents looked familiar. More than that, Tony looked exactly like the harmless yet shockingly deceitful man I remembered...back to when he dated Adam.

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Are you enjoying this new version? I'll admit that it's going in a completely different direction than I'd planned but I like it 😆