Chapter 14

⪻You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.⪼

- Tupac Shakur

✨✨

"Is that a new form of cannibalism?" Beatrice teased when, upon entering my office, she saw me bite my nails harshly enough to take off the whole skin more than just the cuticles.

I heaved a deep sigh, finally stopping, and turned my swivel chair around to face the window, then groaned out loud. I haven't been productive all morning, my head kept mulling and mulling and mulling. Between the thought of Chris with that witch and Adam's offer, I should have already enough on my plate. But now with Sebastian and what he said ...

"Vivian?" Beatrice called, coming closer. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I ..." no, I'm not alright, not one bit. Ever felt like everything comes down on you all at once? That was me right now. Sebastian didn't want to say one more word on the subject, he just dropped the bomb and then left it at that. I didn't want to push, we barely know each other, so I allowed it, but now I keep wondering, what happened?

The only thing I can be sure of is that his ex is dead. Like, dead-dead. But how did she die? When? Does he feel guilty? Does the thought of her hog his heart enough not to let him move on the same way as ... and here we go, the thought of Chris returned to haunt me, the image of him and Karen. Ugh.

"Doesn't look like you're fine." Beatrice pointed out, frowning. "The days off really didn't do you any good."

"Oh, they did," I blurted out without thinking, standing up to look outside the window – not this incredibly magical view, since my office is in the back, all I see is dumpsters and drunk men urinating against the wall, which is why I never look outside. "But then I came back to reality." I sighed, turning to Beatrice because even a glimpse of that pathetic sight was enough to make me nauseous.

"Did Sheryl yell a lot?" Bea laughed, placing some folders on my desk.

"Yell?" I scoffed. "She was ready to skin me alive." I restarted biting on my nails. "Between the failed interview with Julia Woods, and the days off I took, she wants my head on a silver plate right now."

"Is that why you're so ..." Bea grabbed my hand to stop me from biting my skin, but didn't finish her sentence.

"No, it's not that." I placed my hands under my elbows, to avoid the temptations. It's really some sort of nervous habit I have, biting my nails until blood comes out. "I mean, it doesn't exactly help, but no."

"Then what?"

I sighed deeply, dropping against the window. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Such as ..." Bea insisted, chuckling.

I looked at her for a moment. We're mostly just co-workers, or rather I am technically her superior, but we get along really well. However, she's not that kind of friend, the type I'd confide to. Not yet. "It's a long story." I dismissed, going to sit back at my desk. "So, what did you need?"

She shrugged, pointing at the folders she'd left on top of others. "Sheryl says you need to finish all this by tomorrow."

"Is she insane?" I gasped. That wall of folders could make me disappear while sitting at my desk.

"Probably," Beatrice laughed, walking away, "and quite vindictive, it seems."

"Come on, she can't hold it against me for taking two days off. And the interview, what did she expect? I never do field work."

"It's not that." Beatrice pointed out, pursing her lips. She eyed the door, to check if anyone was coming. "She heard about London, Viv."

I frowned. "How?"

"Well, how, do you think?" Bea rolled her eyes. "The editor from London called asking for references."

"Shit." This really wasn't supposed to happen. I haven't even decided whether I'll accept or not, why would they call already?

"Yeah, so ..." Beatrice eyed the door again, as if sensing a dragon entering soon, "watch out, okay? The failed interview was one strike, the days off angered her even more once she learned about London." My co-worker sighed. "She's ready to pounce, Viv. One mistake and you're out."

"She said that?"

"You know I talk to pretty much everyone," Bea reminded me, "since I'm just an intern."

"Yeah, and?"

"Well, I heard it from her own assistant."

"Greg?" I frowned. "Stuck-up prick Greg?"

"Hey, he's not so bad." Beatrice defended, a bit too passionately for it to be nothing.

I rolled my eyes. "Bea ... Greg, really?" I grumbled, putting two and two together immediately. "You could do so much better than him."

She shrugged. "I could do worse." That's what we all think, and it's never true. But again, we're not that kind of friends where we can freely pry into each other's lives. Not yet. "Anyway, he says that after the call with the London editor Sheryl was so furious, she kept ranting about how she took you in when nobody wanted you, how you should be grateful and all ... and then you called asking for days off." Bea waved her hand in the air, as if telling me to connect the dots.

"She thought I was preparing to leave for London." I filled in, and she nodded. "But this kind of behavior is illegal." I frowned, eyes on all those folders I could not possibly finish in a week, imagine one day.

Beatrice shrugged. "My advice?" She laughed. "Run while you can." She eyed the door again, clearly on edge but also amused. "The ship is sinking, Viv. It's only a matter of months. A lot of people here have started sending out applications."

I furrowed my eyebrows, marveled. "How did I not know this?"

"Because you've been out of it lately," she laughed, "and ... you're not quite social around here."

"What do you mean?"

"You never have lunch with your co-workers, never have a night out with us ..." she grimaced, as if feeling guilty, "I'm sorry, but people here notice these things."

"Right." I rolled my eyes. "Offices are like high school."

She laughed. "Well, I like you, Viv." Bea smiled wide. "So, I'm telling you, take London or find something else, cos either the ship sinks, or Sheryl will drive you nuts until you resign – which she needs to, not to pay you what you're owed, I'm sure you know that. Either way, you're on borrowed time here, as we all are." She shrugged. "Greg and I are leaving next month."

And with that, she left. I didn't even know she was seeing that prick, but based on her words, things are more serious than I expected. Am I so lost in my own drama that I don't even see others? Case in point, I got a message from Laura reminding me of my duties as maid of honor, which I've been quite neglecting in the past few days.

I sighed yet again, sinking into my chair. So now, on top of everything else, I have to find a new job or just go to London, leaving everything and everyone I know. Especially Chris. I would think he doesn't mind, but all the calls and texts say otherwise. The sole idea that tonight I'll have to see him again makes me tremble.

✨✨

I tiptoed my way to my apartment, hoping Chris wouldn't hear me, but when I heard a laugh from his door, I froze in my spot, shutting my eyes, as if that would make him disappear. "Walk of shame, huh?"

I literally sighed out of relief when I recognized Adam's voice. "I don't know what you're talking about." I played dumb, walking directly to my apartment.

He followed me, still laughing. "Honey, do you know who you're talking to?" He teased. "I've won the walk of shame award many times."

I sent him a dirty look as I unlocked my door. "It's not what you think."

"You mean you didn't spend a kinky weekend with some super hot stranger, trying to forget my brother and his stubborn obsession for emasculating witches?"

I sighed, walking into my apartment. "You know about Karen, huh?"

Adam snorted, following me inside. "How could I not? I sleep right next to his bedroom." He winced. "Man, she has such a high-pitched voice." He went straight for my cabinet, probably looking for snacks, but I got rid of all of them when I started my diet. He was disappointed, in fact.

"Are they ..." I pursed my lips, not knowing how to ask the question.

"Back together?" Adam filled in. "I sincerely hope not." Then he sighed. "But ... he did just go out without a word after she called, so ..." he made a sorry face, as if reading right through me when I shut my eyes, not wanting to hear any more of it.

So that's it. Chris decided to get back together with Karen. The worst part is, it was probably what I told him to push him into her arms again. When I said she left him because she thought he was cheating, that probably made him want to straighten out the facts with her. I would never believe it, I always thought Chris was smarter than that, but coming from his brother that right now lives with him and literally heard him and that witch, how could I doubt it?

"Shit," Adam cursed, and in a couple of seconds I found myself engulfed in his arms, "I'm sorry, Viv, sometimes I just speak without thinking." He apologized, affectionately kissing my hair. Yeah, I was crying. Again. Surprising, really.

I really don't know what's worse. Knowing that there is no chance of me and Chris ever being more than friends, or the fact that Karen might really be the last straw for us. I know her, if she got back with him, it was only on some conditions, one of which is likely him not spending as much time with me as before. And that would even be okay, in a way, but like I said, I know Karen all too well, she was my roommate for some time. I know she will work hard to make sure Chris and I completely lose contact.

All this is too much, even for me. After 10 years of heartbreak, even I cannot take it anymore. Hence, among tears, I murmured: "I'm going."

"What?" Adam asked, confused, rubbing my back as I cried on his shoulder.

I pulled back slightly, my eyes puffy. "London," I reminded him, "if they're still interested, I accept their offer."

"Really?"

I nodded slowly. "Even if it's just four months, it will do me good." Some time away from all this pain, breathing fresh air, might really help me. I just hope nothing too drastic will happen in between.