Chapter Thirty

Victoria's POV

"Hey calm down," I felt his hands on my shoulders, successfully stopping me from moving further.

"Andrew there's food on the fire that is most likely burning." I pointed to the kitchen that I was a few steps away from.

His soft laugh reached my ears causing my eyebrows to crease in confusion. "What is funny now?"

Two seconds after and his laughter only got louder.

"Shift jhor," I tried, key word, tried to push him aside but of course he's stronger than me so he just held me back.

"Mama calm down. I've turned it off like ten minutes ago." He somehow found my reaction funny because his laughter only got louder.

"I don't know what is funny oh, I don't know what is funny." I pried my hands from his grip and began to walk away.

"I don't know why you don't see it funny," his laugh was still there.

I used to enjoy hearing him laugh, I mean I still do but at this point it was as if I should strangle him.

I scowled and headed back to the baby's room and Andrew was right behind me, still laughing might I add.

I was so happy that the baby's room is downstairs. It makes things a lot easier. I won't have to go upstairs unless it's absolutely necessary. Climbing the stairs is just so much work.

Adjusting to this whole motherhood thing has really taken a toll on me. The first weeks were just so hard. No sleep and definitely no time for myself. Even when I had a little time to sleep I was restless.

I'm sure if I don't have Andrew with me, it would have been a lot more difficult. Makes me wonder how single parents cope.

It's still difficult to wrap my head around the fact that I'm now a parent and I have someone that is my responsibility. That I brought life into this world and I have the responsibility of bringing up and training this human.

"Mama, what are you thinking about?" His voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Wá nó," I moved my hand in the 'come' motion and he leaned in to listen to me. "When did this mama thing start?" (Come first)

No it wasn't mama in a sexy way. It sounded like the way I'd call my grandmother. Though coming from his lips it didn't sound so bad. It was just new and strange.

P

"Since you became a mother," the corner of his lips tilted and I smacked them.

"I'll start calling you papa then." I pushed his shoulders and he laughed as he stood up straighter.

"I prefer daddy." He added a wink and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

I chose to glare at him instead of using words because if I said something, I trust Andrew, he'll surely turn it to a sexual joke again.

I know I said I wanted to have a break on my love life but Andrew really makes it hard to stand on my words.

The flirty smiles, the sexual innuendos, the slight brushing of our skins and the almost kisses always made me remember that I do have feelings for him.

Even if I can control the physical parts of it, I can't control my heart from skipping a beat everytime he comes back into the house from a morning jog.

I can't control my body to move at the sight of him when he comes back from work with his hair a little ruffled and his tie slightly out of place or even the sight of him just stepping out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist exposing his V-line and his perfect abs.

I can't control the goosebumps that rise on my skin when he speaks to me at times, especially when he's behind me.

I can't control the inappropriate thoughts of both of us I harbor in my mind. The sexual scenes my mind plays out of both of us.

The mind and body want what they want and if I don't learn to control my body I might find myself in his bed soon enough.

I might find myself cozying up to him once again completely going against what a part of me wants to have.

Time.

"Andrew," I warned and his hands shot up in mock surrender.

"Okay I'm sorry." He laughed and sat down beside me on the couch.

I couldn't stand the close proximity especially with all the thoughts still running through my head. I didn't want to do anything I'd regret.

As I moved to stand up Andrew gripped my hand forcing me to sit back down.

He cupped my cheeks and stared into my eyes before his lips captured mine in a slow kiss.

Despite the fact that every single bone in my body wanted to push him away, I knew that wouldn't be possible.

I craved him too much to push away this opportunity for our lips to dance together in a familiar tune.

Before I could respond to the kiss he pulled away, his eyes boring into my soul.

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't stop myself." He apologized but didn't make an effort to move.

His right thumb slowly trailed down to my lips and his eyes went there for a second before he looked back up at my eyes.

"Victoria you're all I can think about." He said.

Don't Victoria, don't. I scolded myself.

I badly wanted to do it even though I knew it wasn't what the logical part of wanted. I knew what was best, for both of us but I just wanted to feel his lips on mine again, even for a split second.

Fuck it.

He was somehow reading my mind because at the same time we both leaned in and our lips met, this time I moved mine with his.

God it feels so good kissing him again.

The kiss was rough and demanding like we would both die if we didn't get enough of each other.

He pulled away and this time I spoke. "I couldn't help myself."

He chuckled. "You will be the death of me."

"And you me," I sighed. "We shouldn't have done that." I finally found it in me to pull away completely, creating a distance between us.

"I know." His gaze moved to his hands on his laps.

He slowly reached for my hand and took it in his despite the distance between us. He didn't even make an effort to shift closer but his hand still remained holding mine.

"Andrew," I sighed.

"Victoria."

I didn't want to have the conversation. I really didn't. I wasn't ready for it. I was scared that I'd somehow fall for his charms again. With Andrew sometimes it felt like I have no will of my own. Easily giving in to him despite what my mind wanted.

"Andrew I need time." I pulled my hand from his and stood up, heading for the open window of the room.

I heard him stand up and walk towards me. He was right behind me and I could feel his body warmth.

I wanted to just lean back and rest my head on his chest as he holds me to him. I wanted to close my eyes and enjoy the moment with him but I knew I couldn't, not yet.

"I love you, you know that right?" His hands held my arms, slowly running up and down on them.

I sucked in a breath and instinctively closed my eyes. He has no idea what he does to me.

"I know." I wanted to push his hands away from my body but I couldn't.

This man holds the remote control to my life really, it's just that he's not in the village. One button and I'd follow but I had to learn to fight for my own will.

I shouldn't always give in to him even though every part of my body wants me to.

His hands left my arms and with a heavy sigh he walked away, closing the room door behind him.

With his absence came the cold.

The only question that I had to ask myself was. How much longer do I need?

***

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