5) Fuck you, next

I was sound asleep. Until some bitch decided to knock on my door violently. Dèja vu?

The person obviously didn't care about my consent, since they entered anyway. I could've been doing...stuff.

"Get up." Ah Rafael, my bestie.

"Hmphsjsiwjs," I mumbled.

"Get. Up." He whacked me in the face with a pillow.

"What the fuck, Ralf?" I pushed the hair, that was all messed up thanks to Rafael's pillow, out of my face.

"Boss wants to have breakfast with you."

"What the fuck is this? Beauty and the Beast?" I groaned into my pillow, eyes still closed.

"Here's your dress," he threw a piece of material on my face. I picked it up, observing it. It was a pastel yellow summer dress and had a little flow at the bottom. It was pretty, I guess. Just not my style.

"Do you have anything else I can wear?"

"No."

"I don't wear dresses." I threw the dress to the bottom of my bed. "I only wear jeans, sweatshirts and sneakers. I'm not like the other girls. Also, I hate pink."

"Well you wore one yesterday, so put it on." He grabbed the dress and threw it at me again. Damn you, Rafael.

I headed to the garden patio where breakfast was supposedly served. I was wearing the stupid dress and my hair was in a high messy bun. I saw Luca sitting at the table, reading a newspaper. Who still reads the newspaper?

I waltzed over to him and pulled out a chair, dragging it on the floor to make the most annoying sound ever. He looked up from his paper, clearly annoyed by that wonderful sound. "Morning old man. Read anything new about the war?" I mocked as I took a seat across from him. He looked at me while taking a sip from his coffee.

"Aren't you just delightful," I rolled my eyes.

"I'm having an event tonight," he said.

"And? What do you want me to do? Strip?" I laughed sarcastically.

He smirked at me. This bitch.

"You do realise I'm not a stripper, right? I don't even have an ass. Or tits." I pointed to the two marbles on my chest.

"I told you already that you're here to work for me as physical labour." He tossed the newspaper onto the table.

"If I wanted to become a stripper, I would've done it a long time ago, trust me. The pay's much better than what I get for my job." I leaned back onto the chair, crossing my arms over my chest.

"What is your job?" He asked.

"I'm a waitress," I said almost proudly for some reason. He gave me a funny look. Asshole. Hot, sexy asshole.

"Where?"

"At this local cafè. Cafè Noir. It's French. It literally means black coffee."

"I know. I speak French." He speaks Italian and French? Guess this really is Beauty and the Beast.

"You do? What's 'I'm gonna shoot your diçk off' in French?" He looked at me bluntly, but didn't answer. He does that a lot.

"Speaks French my ass," I muttered under my breath. "Anyway, I'm not gonna be your stipper. Find someone else."

"Fine. Then you can waitress at my event. That sound good enough for you?"

"Mhm." I nodded.

"Good. Now eat." He pushed a bowl of mush infront of me.

"What is this?" I poked at the grey stuff with a spoon.

"It's oats. It's healthy. Eat it." He cut into a piece of bacon. Why the fuck does he get bacon and I get belly button lint?

"I'd rather not," I pushed it away. He shot me a fierce look. "...rather not waste this bowl of deliciousness." I forced a spoon down my throat. Dis. Gus. Ting.

I downed some water so that hairball could go down my throat. "You know what I just realised?" I wiped my mouth with a napkin.

"I don't care," he went back to his newspaper.

"I have classes on Monday."

"So?" He didn't look at me.

"People are going to be wondering where I am."

"I'm sure no one gives a damn."

I took a deep breath in before I punched this fucktard in his perfectly sculpted face. "My grandparents might call. They'll wonder why I'm not answering. You don't wanna mess with my grandparents, trust me."

I lived with my grandparents ever since I was fourteen, because God forbid there was a female protagonist that didn't have mommy or daddy issues.

So yeah my dad abononed my mother and I so he could pursue his dream of being a professional Dolly Parton impersonator at his very own drag club in Vegas.

Now he lives in Puerto Rico with his latin husband, Julio.

My mom was heartbroken. She'd stay at home from her job, sit on the couch and eat raw cookie dough the whole day. When we went into debt, she realised she had to get her life together.

So she left me to become a stripper.

She got a major tan, did some squats and changed her name.

Now she's known as Cardi B.

"My grandparents are the most terrifying thing on-"

"Do you come with an off button?" He said, eyes still focused on that goddamn newspaper.

"Unfortunately, no. Oh and before I forget, since you're keeping me hostage," as if I'm not enjoying it, "I have a few demands."

"Please do tell," Luca rolled his eyes.

"Firstly, I'm sick of these darn dresses. I want my clothes from my apartment."

He set his newspaper down neatly and intertwined his fingers, "Fine. Is that all?"

"Next, I want a cell phone. I'm bored here. I need entertainment. Then I want freshly served waffles for breakfast everday, cause I'm already sick of this garbage," I pushed the bowl away, "I want to be able to go places without Rafael stuck up my ass. I want access to the pool area. I want to go for runs in the morning. I want a fro-yo machine in my room and I want a purple pony named blue!" I took a deep breath in. How long was I talking for?

"Will that be it, my queen?" he looked at me dryly.

"Precisely."

"I'll have Rafael go to your apartment tomorrow." He went back to his plate of fluffy scrambled eggs, crispy bacon and juicy sausage with a side of perfectly sauteed mushrooms and grilled tomatoes with some crispy toast and soft creamy butter. I'm not hungry. "But you're not getting any of the other things."

"What? Why not?" I pouted.

"A blue pony named purple, seriously?"

"It's a purple pony named blue." I gritted my teeth.

"Whatever."

"What about my phone? I know you have it!"

"Nope," he took a bite from his fork. "Not getting it back."

"Pleaseeee. I'll be good. I just wanna talk to Diana."

"Diana?"

"My roommate." She's also my best friend/bad influencer. We've been together since high school back in Canada. "Just to tell her I'm fine, or she'll be worried and call the cops or something. You don't want that, right? Omertà and all that crap."

"How do you know about Omertà?"

"I've read Omertà: A Forbidden Secret." He looked at me like how a parent would look at their failing child. "Just give me a phone. Please."

He paused and thought about it for a second. "You can use the landline in my office. You're not getting a phone. Maybe later."

"Fine," I rolled my eyes. It's better than nothing.

-

I strolled down the long hallway, trying to remember the way to my room. Maybe I did need Rafael stuck up my ass so that I didn't get lost. I spotted Larry's office and decided it's time for a little gossip sesh with Diana.

I walked into Leeroy's office. It was pretty neat. His long desk was a wooden brown and he had huge book shelves with some Italian books that I couldn't understand. He has some of those fancy bottles with alcohol on his desk. I popped a bottle open and sniffed it. "Eek," I made a funny face, "How do they drink this crap." I sat in his chair and dialed Diana's number.

"Hello?"

"Diana! You bitch!"

"Malia? What the fuck? Where are you?"

"Guess what happened to me!

"Oh fun okay! Um...You got kidnapped by the Italian Mafia?" She laughed.

"Yes. That's exactly what happened."

"Oh thank god I thought something serious happened. Do you want me to come get you?" She gasped, "It can be like a rescue mission. Like in Kidnapped by the mafia man!"

"No are you crazy! I live in a mansion surrounded by hot Italian guys! I ain't going nowhere."

"Malia, are you on crack? These people have you hostage."

"It's not that bad. I already made a friend," I twirled a loose strand of my hair.

"A friend?"

"Yeah...Rafael," I blurted out. Yeah right. Ralfy and I sort of have a one sided friendship.

"You're psycho," she scoffed.

"But you already knew that," I grinned. "Look, I need you to tell the cops that you found me and they have nothing to worry about."

"What are you talking about?"

"You didn't call the cops?"

"No. Why would I call the cops?"

"Are you kidding me? Your best friend goes missing for two days and you dont call the cops?" I yelled.

"I don't know! I didn't think!"

"Then what did you think when you came home to an empty apartment?"

"I thought 'Jesus this place's messy. Malia should really clean up'."

"You're a bitch."

"Woof." She barked. "So tell me what it's like there. Are the guys hot?"

"Hm let's see," I tapped my chin, "Italian, all over six foot, tanned, abs, bulging biceps. Nope. They are definitely not hot." I said sarcastically.

"Har har," she mocked, "How much money they got? Did you steal any?"

"No way. I got kidnapped cause I owed him money in the first place. But they're stinking rich. They live in a damn mansion."

"Don't all mafia men?"

"Nah, some live in huge ass estates."

"Right right..."

"Anyway I gotta go, ya know, before the big boss man catches me."

"Oh yeahh. What's he like?"

"Luca? You don't even knoww," I sighed, "He is drop dead gorgeous. With his tanned skin, and hazel eyes and long floppy chocolate brown hair and biceps and soft pink lips and his tall self and his jawline. Ugh that jawline," I bit my lip.

"Why do I feel like you have heart eyes right now?"

"I don't. He's just nice to look at."

"I'd love to hear more about this hot psycho that kidnapped you, but Game of Thrones season eight is waiting for me." Nerd.

"Alrighty. I'll talk to you later." I hung up. I sighed and relaxed into the leather chair. It was so comfy.

"You're in my seat." Of fucking course.

"I don't think it has your name on it, therefore it is not your seat." I spun around to face him.

"Do you think you're smart?" he blinked.

"I know I'm smart." I smiled at his annoyed face. "I'd give you a nasty look but I see you already have a permanent one."

"You should watch your mouth," he leaned down and placed his hands on either side of me, "It could get you into serious trouble one day."

"Hm that's strange. Last time I checked, I don't remember asking for your opinion." I pushed his huge arms out of my way and slipped out of the chair, walking past him to the door.

"And what about your opinion of me being drop dead gorgeous?" I could hear the stupid smirk in his stupid voice. I paused at the door. Of course he had to hear that. I turned around so fast my bun nearly collapsed.

"So I might have said that, but you know what Leonard? It's a shame you aren't as pretty on the inside too."

"Ouch. That one hurt. Where'd you find it? Pinterest?" he took a few steps forward.

"I'm surprised you even know what that is." I scoffed.

"We aren't all as oblivious and stupid as you, Malia," he took a few more steps foward, smirking. Fuck that sexy smirk.

"Is that right?" I walked towards him, "And what have you accomplished in your life that makes you Einstein?" I paused so that we were only inches apart.

He leaned his head down to my ear, "Don't forget who borrowed a shit load of money from whom," the jackass whispered in his italian voice that made my legs weak.

"Fuck you, next." I walked away.

Sexual tension count: 2

❈ ❈ ❈

Fuck you, next. I'm so fucking grateful for Luca's di-

HELLO FELLOW HOMOSAPIENS!

You know, everyday I pray to God my parents don't find this book or else I'll be as scrambled as Luca's eggs (that's a simile ha I'm so ready for the english paper tomorrow)

Edit: I wrote this last year before Miss Rona decided to show up, that's why it says I have an exam lol. Anyway hope you guys are keeping safe♡

Do you guys think Diana is cool?

COMMENT IT

Don't forget to like... vote or whatever just putting that out there hehe.