11.

——— 14 years ago ————

"Theo, let's pretend all this never happened. Alright?"

"What are you going on about? Don't say that to me!" He begged, pleaded as he held my arms in his hands, desperately trying to grab on.

"It's not gonna work out. Don't be blinded and lose sight of the problems we will face," I said through gritted teeth.

"Come on, Dan-" he held my hand, but I pushed them away.

"NO!" I yelled out as I walked towards the stairs, trying to head out of the apartment complex.

"Don't do this. Don't do this to me." He swung me around and was in front of me. Tears staining his beautifully features.

I almost gave in. Gave in to his begging and crying. It took all my willpower to convince myself that this was for the best.

"Let- me- GO!" I screamed out as I pushed against his chest.

Regret hit me when I realized that was happening next.

Everything went by in slow-no. Theo fell backwards as I heard him call out my name. I reached out, trying to grab hold of his hand but it was a second too late.

"THEO!"

——————————————-

DANIEL.

"You're seriously an idiot! Pretending that all this didn't happen? The same line's not gonna work on me twice!" Theodore was a level short of screaming his lungs out at this point.

I stuffed my hands into my pockets and hung my head low, trying to ignore all the unwanted attention we were drawing while walking out of the place.

My pace quickened, trying to make a break for it but I knew I couldn't outrun him. We ended up just walking real quick down the riverfront.

How romantic.

"Daniel, stop walking and talk to me!"

Fuck, this guy is stubborn.

"DANIEL!"

I stopped in my tracks, took a deep breath and turned around. His was breathing heavily, since we walked quite the distance.

"Finally decided to stop?" he spat, clearly fuming.

"What do you want?"

"We need to talk, starting from you," he pointed his finger at me, still trying to catch his breath. "What the actual fuck is going through the coconut head of yours?"

"If you already know, then don't ask me. You won't see me anymore after today so all's good," I answered and turned around.

"Stop running you asshole!"

He grabbed my coat to pull me to a halt and stood in front of me. "Why did you me leave alone in the hospital room? Why were you not there when I woke up?"

My mouth was sealed shut. He remembers.

"I fell backwards and hit my head. You were the last thing I saw. Why didn't I remember you?" he asked, voice a little quieter this time.

"Wasn't it for the better? You weren't supposed to remember me. I made sure that you wouldn't. You should be glad you forgot about me."

His face was in disbelief. "But I did. Eventually I did!"

"Which was a mistake. Us being together is a mistake."

"Dan!" He gripped my arms with so much strength that I was certain it was going to leave marks.

"Get this into your hard head of yours. I don't want anyone else but you!"

Pushing his hands off, I shook my head. "If you remember everything, you should know why we can't be together."

"Just because I want kids? And a family? Daniel, there's such a thing as adoption!"

"But it's different. The feeling of having your own. It's different. You know that."

Yes, that's the reason I decided to give up.

I've known Theo since I was 15. Being two years older than me, I was always the one being taken care of. We were young, crazy, and blindly in love.

It was weird knowing that he was the one for me since the beginning. And that only made it more scary as we got older.

Is he okay with being with me? What will other people think about two guys being together? How will society see us? How will his family react?

Then came the day where he told me he applied to be an early childhood educator, right after getting our finals' results. He went on and on about how excited he was to be teaching young children, to be mingling with them.

He would talk about how nice it would be to have kids of his own, to be able to watch them grow and play.

It got me thinking, "Does he want a family? If that's the case, it's something that I will never be able to give."

The more he talked about it, the more pain I felt. The guilt that I was carrying was swallowing me alive. Thoughts surrounded me until it all became too much to bear.

Maybe this time, I needed to make sure his future was shining. With me, it just seemed dark and gloomy.

The day that we fought, I said the same thing to him. "Let's pretend all this never happened." It would be nice if we could turn a blind eye to all this.

His life wouldn't be ruined because of me.

"Just leave it, Theo."

I turned around and walked away but he was quicker, stopping me by standing in front of me. I pushed him by the shoulder but he didn't budge. Instead, he took a step forward and I leaned back on instinct.

"Don't think about pushing me away again this time. There ain't any stairs to knock me out again," he pointed his finger at me.

"Theo, you're fucking stubborn."

"You know me very well to know I won't give up until I get what I want," he crossed his arms. "So just give in already and be with me."

I pressed my palms to my face, suppressing a scream from escaping my throat. Why wasn't he listening to me?

My hands came back down and I saw him looking down, his eyes fixated on something.

"I also remember about the necklace. It's a gift from me," he continued. God, did he seriously remember every single detail?

"Fate bought us to meet, we made us happen. That's what I said when I gave it to you," he held my hands in his and rubbed my knuckles with his thumbs.

"We can make us happen. The road is ours to pave."

This man was making it very difficult for me to keep to my words as I felt my resolve crumbling.

Should I? Should I not? In my head, I am currently plucking the petals off the flower, letting it decide my next move.

"14 years. You can't just say we can be together out of the blue."

"Yes I can," he said with much conviction. "To hell with the society's norms. Fuck them all. Without you, there's no point me wanting a family. My family includes you as my other half. You're not running away from me anymore."

I looked at him in the eyes and saw the hope that he had in me. In us. In whatever that we were.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in and out.

"Let's start from friends. 14 years is a huge gap to fill up. I'm not the same person I was back then."

Theodore smiled so wide, I could almost see the light reflecting off his teeth.

"I'll make you believe in us again," he said as he squeezed my hands, as if to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

———————————

A/N: Hello everyone! Here's the update for the week!

It's a long one, I know. When I was writing this, I really felt the need to showcase some of Daniel's internal struggles.

It made me upset that he gave up the love of his life because he thought he wasn't able to provide what Theodore wanted. My poor Dan T.T

Please comment about your thoughts on this part! I'm very open for feedback!

Stay safe everyone!

See you all in the next part!

-unedited-