22. The Threat of Marriage

Chapter 22: The Threat of Marriage

Mika

The doorbell rang just as I finished changing Sam's diaper. I was confused. It was the middle of the afternoon. Who was here and what did they want from me?

Picking Sammy up, I shifted him to my hip before heading for the door. Just before I got there, though, Eliza opened it.

"Well hello, sweetheart," she said to someone I couldn't see. "Are you lost?"

There was no answer and I started realizing who it might be. I came up behind Eliza and smiled down at Amy, who was standing there, wide-eyed and frozen.

"She's not lost," I said, making Amy's eyes snap to mine.

She smiled widely. "Meeky!"

Eliza stepped back to let Amy in, then left us alone, thankfully. One of the few things I liked about her was that she (sometimes) knew when to not hover. This was definitely a good time to make herself go away.

"You didn't replace me, did you?" Amy asked, pointed at Sam.

I laughed, closing the door as she walked in. "No. This is Allen's son. He was the man I was having dinner with the other night."

"Is this his house too?" She was looking around the place in awe. I was pretty sure this was the biggest house she's ever been in. "How'd you do it?"

I had been leading her upstairs, to where I know Edwin and Eliza wouldn't interrupt us, but stopped at the bottom of the steps when she asked that. "What do you mean?"

Amy shrugged. "I thought you said you stopped with the sex for money thing? Unless now you're just using him for this house."

I couldn't believe I let her know what I did back then. She was only a little kid, but a little kid who asked a lot of questions. And I could never lie to her.

"I did stop that," I said. "And I would never do that to someone, especially not him.  Allen..." I sighed, then nodded towards the stairs. "Come on."

We headed upstairs and I went towards the bedroom, because I didn't know where else we could go to talk. I placed Sammy in the middle of the bed and he immediately started crawling around, exploring the way he always does. I sat down next to him, patting the mattress for Amy to also sit. She did.

"Allen is different than any other guy," I said, watching Sam instead of looking at my sister. "I, um, I love him."

Amy shifted so she was sitting on her knees. "Really? Like you really love him?"

I looked at her to see a huge grin on her face. "Yeah, I do." I shook my head. "Enough about me. How are you doing? Are you okay? You're happy?"

"I was in the hospital for about a year," she started, looking less excited than she did a moment ago. "I was really sick, but they fixed me. But then they put me in a foster home. Those people didn't like me very much, so they sent me to another family. Those are the people I live with now. They're not that nice, but better than the other ones."

"Are you happy, though?" I repeated, needing to know. I needed to know that she was better off without me trying to take care of her.

She shrugged. "Yeah."

I wanted to believe her, to make myself feel better, but I knew her better than that. She wasn't all that happy there, but at least she was alive.

I didn't get a chance to say anything else when there was a quiet knock on the door before it opened. Looking up, I saw Allen standing in the doorway.

"Hey," he said. "Ma told me you two were up here. Am I interrupting?" I wasn't surprised to see him home this early. He's been doing that all week.

"You're Allen, right?" Amy asked. "The one Meeky loves?"

Allen chuckled, nodding. "And you're Amy, the little sister he also loves."

I rolled my eyes. I say I love one person one time and now I'm loving everyone apparently. But I do care about Amy, so much, and have since the day she came into my life. For years, she was my only family.

"Amy, can I talk to you for a minute?" Allen asked. "Maybe without Mika?"

I looked at him, confused. "Why?"

He smiled. "Just a quick question. But it may concern you, and I don't want you to know just yet."

Rolling my eyes again, I stood up. "Fine. I'm hungry anyway." Before I even took a step, though, Sammy decided he wanted to follow me. I scooped him up just before he got to the edge of the bed and passed him right to Allen. "Here's your son," I said. "I'll be downstairs."

I went to step around Allen, but he stopped me. "I don't even get a kiss?" he asked, smiling.

I smirked. "No." Then I left the room.

Originally, I did plan on going to the kitchen -  I was kind of hungry. But I stopped just outside the bedroom door, just out of sight, when Allen started talking. Naturally, I listened in.

"I know you don't know me," Allen started. "But Mika's told me a little about you. Enough for me to know how much he cares about you."

There was a pause. Amy didn't say anything, so I figured she nodded or something.

Allen continued. "Do you want to know a secret?" Another small pause. "I want to marry your brother one day."

I froze. He wanted to marry me? Really? Marriage was never going to be in my future, I accepted that a long time ago. But now it might be an option? I don't think I could do it. I don't think I'm even ready to get married. I didn't know how to be married.

I shook the thoughts out of my head to keep listening. I don't know how long I had stopped listening, because now they seemed to be talking about something else entirely.

"-our family," Allen was saying. "What do you say?"

Amy let out her little squeal of excitement and the bed creaked. Maybe she hugged him. I don't know. They might have actually still been talking about marriage, for all I could tell.

"That would be amazing!" Amy exclaimed.

Allen chuckled. "I still have to ask Mika. Okay? So don't say anything to him yet."

The bed creaked again, like Allen has just gotten up. I figured I needed to leave quickly, so I wouldn't be caught listening in. Ducking around the corner, I went down the stairs as quickly and as quietly as I could. Just as I reached the kitchen, I heard Allen's and Amy's footsteps on the stairs. I grabbed an apple off the counter and took a big bite just as they walked in.

Amy immediately walked over to me and hugged my waist, burying her face into my side. Putting my apple on the counter behind me, I hugged her back, looking up at Allen.

"Everything okay?" I mouthed after swallowing the bite of apple. A second ago, she seemed excited, and now she was holding onto me for dear life.

He nodded, but waved the comment off, meaning he'll talk to me about it later. Probably that stupid proposal. Was he actually going to do that today? I did not want that today. He better not. My stupid GED test was tomorrow. I didn't need to be worrying about marriage right now.

Amy backed out of my arms and looked up at me. "I should go home."

"Already?" I asked. But then I looked at the clock. She had been here just about an hour. She was still a kid with foster parents who probably didn't know where she was.

So she left, but not before I actually gave her my number this time. Allen had tried driving her, but she refused. I had confidence that she'd be fine walking back. I pretty much raised her on these streets. I just hoped she wouldn't be in trouble for coming here after she got out of school instead of there. Although she said they wouldn't notice.

But at least she had a place to go. She was going to school. She was healthy. She had more than I could ever give her. Maybe she wasn't the happiest, but she's better off without me trying to take care of her again. I failed the first time. I didn't want to think about where trying again could lead me. Maybe she'd actually be dead if I took her in again.

Not like I could. I didn't live on my own anymore. I lived with Allen. And he'd never agree to taking her in. He already had Sam to take care of. Two kids in this house would be way too much. I couldn't ask him to do that.

Shaking my head, I went to the fridge and started pulling stuff out to make for dinner. Allen was in the other room with his parents. I could hear them talking about something or other. I didn't mind being alone now though. With everything going on recently, I just needed space to think.

Except I didn't want to think about the thoughts that were going through my head. I should be focusing on my test tomorrow. Instead, I couldn't get the thought that Allen was going to ask me to marry him out of my head.

Why would he do this to me? It didn't make sense. After everything I admitted to him the other day, he still loved me. He wasn't mad at me. He still had sex with me - touched me, kissed me. And now he wants to marry me. I didn't get it.

"How's it going in here?" Allen asked, startling me, although I tried not letting that show. I hadn't noticed him coming into the kitchen at all.

I shrugged, looking down at the vegetables I was chopping. "Fine, I guess." I barely even knew what I was making, going on autopilot when it came to cooking because I was too far into my own head.

"Hey," he said, walking closer until he stood right behind me, his hands on my waist. "What are you thinking about? Amy?"

I shook my head, but didn't answer. I wasn't about to tell him what I was actually thinking about. That just wasn't going to happen.

"She's seems like a really good kid," Allen continued anyway. "You did a good job raising her with what you could."

I spun around to face him. "No I didn't," I said, kinda harshly. "I did everything wrong. I thought I killed her. How is that good?"

Instead of saying something like I expected him to, Allen kissed my cheek. It was longer than a normal kiss on the cheek, his lips staying there for a little too long. But I kinda liked it. It was comforting, in a weird way.

"If I were in your situation," he whispered into my ear. "I would have killed us both within a year."

I smirked, pushing him back from me gently. "You're probably right."

"Hey, can I ask you something?" he asked, ignoring my comment as he stepped back until he was leaning against the table. I nodded, so he continued. "I've been thinking about this for a little while now, and I did talk to Amy before about it."

Oh god. Don't tell me he was going to do this now.

"Mika, would you want to-"

"No."

"No?"

"No. I heard you talking to Amy, okay? My answer's no."

Allen sighed. "I should have known you would listen in, but I definitely didn't expect you to say no. But it's your choice. I won't ask why."

I turned around again, returning to cutting up the vegetables. I didn't know what else to say. He seemed disappointed. But did he really expect me to agree to marry him right now?