xx. REUNIONS

TWENTY.

REUNIONS

As soon as they stepped outside the bathroom, the tiny, quiet universe they had created blew apart and reality came rushing in. The silence was replaced with Cecelia's cries and the steady roar of traffic outside. Bex nearly blinked at the shock of it. The world got bigger and rawer again, all sharp edges.

She suddenly couldn't look Eggsy in the eyes.

He shut the door behind them gently, but the hinges let out a squeal. At the sound of it, Michelle's head turned sharply. When she saw Eggsy, her face became full of all soft and loving things. She let out a noise in the back of her throat. She rushed over, and wrapped Eggsy up in a fierce hug. Her sobs became muted as she buried her face in his jacket.

"I didn't think you were ever coming back," she cried.

"Mum," Eggsy said softly. "Mum, I'll always come back."

He pulled her closer, then. He pulled his mother tight, one hand on the back of her blonde head, eyes closed. They stood like that for a moment, then Michelle pulled back and took his face in her hands. She kissed his cheek, careful to avoid the bruise that had blossomed across his cheekbone.

"It's so good to have you home," she said, smiling through her tears.

Michelle looked at her son with pure, white hot, and blinding love, the kind that couldn't be broken by anything. Bex struggled to remember if anyone had ever looked at her that way.

She stood next to them awkwardly as she watched them, a stranger looking in. She was the jagged piece that didn't fit into this scene. She had fallen into a home filled with the kind of family she didn't know existed, a portrait she had never been painted into. Bex bit her lip. She tried to say something, but the words caught in her throat and instead she coughed. She flushed red as both blonde heads turned around to face her.

"Sorry," she said. "I think I might be allergic to happy reunions and loving families. I'll acclimate."

Michelle turned to face her.

"So, you're Bex then," she said, an unreadable expression on her face.

"That's me," she replied, shifting from foot to foot awkwardly.

"Eggsy's Bex," Michelle continued.

Bex opened her mouth to protest, but Eggsy beat her to it.

"She's not my Bex, Mum. She's just Bex. She doesn't belong to anyone," he said simply.

Bex found that whatever she was about to say became senseless.

"Fine. She's still the Bex that broke your heart, isn't she?" Michelle said, eyes narrowed.

Bex froze. The blood drained from her face. Her ears hummed as if preparing to drown out Eggsy's answer, because she didn't know if she could bear to hear it.

"Mum!" Eggsy said, looking horrified.

His pale cheeks were stained crimson as he looked at Bex and quickly looked away. He widened his eyes at his mother, who's own stormy eyes hadn't left Bex's face.

"What?" Michelle asked defensively.

"Mum," he said. "You can't just say stuff like that."

"Well, why not if it's the truth?"

Eggsy made a noise of exasperation and flushed an even deeper shade of impossible red.

"We're going to my room," he said, eyes never leaving his mother. "Come on, Bex."

Bex let out a very intelligent sounding "Huh?"

Eggsy turned and headed down the hall, not waiting for her. Bex looked at Michelle, who's arms were folded across her chest now, and decided that Eggsy's room was the much less dangerous option.

"Bye," she said weakly.

Michelle huffed.

Bex retreated down the hallway. She opened the door to Eggsy's room and shut it gently behind her. As soon as she did, the silence returned. She hovered near the door, uncertain of where to go.

Eggsy was sitting on his bed, cheeks still flushed. He looked up when she came in.

"I'm sorry. My mum, she..."

"Embarrasses you in front of girls a lot?"

"All the time."

Bex tried to smile. But the silence was shifting around her, and she found she couldn't. This silence was a new kind of silence, fluid and uncertain and awaiting something. The kind of silence that would catch fire and burn with unsaid words around them if there were a spark.

"Is it true?" she found herself asking, her lips guided by unseen forces.

His eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"Is what true?"

Her heart twisted and pulled.

"Did I break your heart?"

Eggsy looked at his hands, then up at her.

"No," he said.

This was a lie. He knew and she knew. But Bex didn't mind. Truth was like light: it was blinding. Lies were a softer twilight that were much easier to face.

Bex sat down on the bed with him.

"I'm so sorry," she said, biting her lip again. "I don't care if I've said it; I have to say it again. Eggsy- I never meant to hurt you."

He stared at the wall ahead.

"You know, at first I thought you telling me you didn't love me was the cruelest thing you could've done," he said, casually, as if his words weren't a blade in her chest.

Bex swallowed hard.

It was strange that she could've killed him hundreds of different ways, with her fists or a blade or a trigger, but instead she had chosen her heart as her weapon.

He turned to face her.

"But then I realized I was wrong. The cruelest thing you could've done was to pretend to care about me when you didn't. So thank you, Bex, for telling me the truth. It was hard to hear, but lies would've been much harder."

Bex had expected the guilt of hurting him. But she hadn't expected the guilt of lying to him.

"Love is interesting," he mused. "Poison for a person alone, but when two take it it's an antidote."

"You sound like a bad greeting card," Bex managed.

But Eggsy didn't laugh like he usually did. He just looked. He looked like he had been for months, and Bex looked away like she had been for months because she was a coward.

She looked around his room instead, avoiding his eyes. She drank in the whitewashed walls covered in bookshelves and the threadbare carpet. Everything was pale and faded, as if the color had bled out bit by bit. But the evening light seeped through the blinds and bathed everything in soft light, every spec of dust swirling in the air caught by the sun.

She turned back to Eggsy. The light shone behind him. He was a boy immortalized in gold.

And he was still looking at her. She could feel his gaze, a gaze that could span oceans, on her skin like a real, tangible thing.

Bex opened her mouth to tell him to stop but instead she felt different, unfamiliar words fall from her lips.

"I missed you," she said, without meaning to.

Eggsy's gray eyes widened and Bex instantly wished she could take it back.

"Really?" he asked.

Bex found herself nodding. "I didn't have anyone to talk to. Not really."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean there's no one else I can talk to and no one else I want to talk to. You're my best friend, Eggsy. Talking to other people isn't the same."

"I didn't know I was your best friend."

"I don't think I knew either until I left."

Bex twisted a piece of loose thread from the blanket at the foot of his bed around her thumb until it turned purple.

"I don't think I knew a lot of things until I left."

She finally met his eyes. His gray ones burned against her brown ones. Her skin itched and ached for something unknown.

This close to him, her heart began to dream.

Bex opened her mouth to tell him something. Of what, she wasn't sure yet, but her words could not be contained any longer.

Suddenly, a loud beeping filled the room. The spell shattered. Bex jumped, startled. Eggsy looked around in confusion for the source. Bex realized it was coming from the watch around Eggsy's wrist. She grabbed his arm and jabbed the button on the side until the incessant noise stopped. On the display, instead of the time, tiny, white print had filled the screen.

"It's from Harry," Eggsy said, squinting to read it. "He wants me to meet him at his house."

"What?" Bex protested. "How come you get a fancy spy watch?"

"Harry just likes me better, I suppose."

"Bollocks. I made him brownies while he was in the hospital."

"Exactly. It's probably what kept him in the hospital so long."

"Are you suggesting my baking prolonged his coma?"

"I'm suggesting your baking is what could've put him in the hospital in the first place."

"He was in the hospital because he almost got blown up!"

"Still better than having to eat your carrot cake."

Bex laughed at that. Instantly, the tension surrounding them lifted and she could breathe again. The rough winds inside her calmed. It felt good to return to normal with Eggsy, to feel things fall back into place.

Eggsy grinned.

He glanced at his watch again and made a face.

"Listen, I've got to go," Eggsy said apologetically. "But how about you meet me there in an hour, yeah?"

Bex nodded.

"Bye, Bex," he said.

He stood up from the bed. Before he turned to leave, he hesitated for a second. Then he swooped down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Bex froze as his lips grazed her cheekbone. He smiled and left the room, with Bex still on the edge of his bed, wondering what had just happened.

She stayed there a long time.

─────

a quick note:

turns out i'm like a cockroach. you can't kill me. i'll always come back when you least expect it. and i'm nasty as heck. anyways, here's an update. i know it's short and there's no plot to it at all (pure aldwin: emo edition), but if i'm going to sustain the motivation to update most chapters are probably going to be a little bit shorter. also i'm delaying writing the next chapter because that's when bex is going to lose her dad harry :(((( but at least she'll still have a daddy amiright heyooo