9

Hinata was lost.

He felt nothing. He was just drifting away slowly. Everything was just... imaginary. Nothing was real. He seemed to float and continue to just disappear and fade away.

He couldn't hear anything, but at times he could sense someone's presence near him. It made him excited and he wanted it to stay. It made him feel wanted, and it was like he was slowly being pulled back into reality. It was a hand, pulling him out of the endless waters.

And then it was gone.

He missed it, whatever it was, whoever it was- he needed it. He wanted more... but he was lost in the world of nothingness.

☆☆☆

Kageyama struggled to lift the ball that had rolled to his feet. It was so heavy, and it was as if all his strength had been sucked up, and it took everything he had to finally pick it up. But now his legs felt weak too, and it was as if he was crawling on his knees.

"C'mon King, what's the matter? Can't even serve the ball anymore?" Tsukishima had suddenly appeared in front of him, and he stood there with his signature smirk looking down at Kageyama. Kageyama turned to see the net in a distance just perfect for his serve.

He tried his hardest to throw the ball into the air, and got into a running approach, but he only threw it up about a meter's distance before he collapsed on his first step. He heard laughs and saw his teammates from his elementary school team. He felt small- so small. He needed to get up, but nothing was helping.

He had no one.

"What the hell are you doing? There's no one there to hit your tosses." Kindaichi said. His team from junior high had suddenly appeared to his right now. But they weren't next to him. There was a crack in the ground, which quickly spread in to cliff, preventing him from ever getting any closer without falling. "Who's here for you? Who wants to hit your king toss?" His team glared at him, and they weren't even laughing and making fun of him- their looks were of true hatred.

Oikawa had appeared as well now. He had his signature smirk, and he towered over him. "Tobio-chan, you idiot. I'll always be better than you." His voice boomed in the place he was in

Kageyama was now surrounded with everyone he once played volleyball with, except for the members of Kitagawa Daiichi, who were still on the other side. He me their eyes and they all stared at him with despise. He backed up as they kept moving in on him, until he reached the edge of the cliff and lost his balance. He tipped over and fell into the seemingly endless hole.

He was now at the hospital he had been to, one too many times. People walked past him like he didn't exist, all except for Dr. Sukodu. He stared at him with emotionless eyes. He just stood there, wordless. No matter how much Kageyama walked towards him, the distance never closed. He broke into a run, but it was as if he was getting farther. A wave of exhaustion hit him, and with final efforts he looked up to the doctor/surgeon once more. This time, his mouth moved and his voice was barely audible, but Kageyama heard the horrifying words.

"Hinata is dead."

Everything around Kageyama started to crumble, and darkness started to flood around him and there was no escape. There was nowhere else to run to.

Kageyama woke up to himself covered in sweat. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He couldn't think straight (and no, it's not because he's completely gay for Hinata), and his mind was a mess. What was missing? He laid back onto his bed before realization hit him like a volleyball in the back of his head. He sat up immediately, and his breathing quickened.

"Hinata... please be okay." He whispered to himself. "Please just do me a favor... stay alive, and wake up... for me." Tears were coming to his eyes once more, and he realized his eyes were swollen from crying yesterday. He cursed at himself for that.

Lame.

Why was he acting like this was the end of everything? Hinata could fight through it, he knew. He always had the willpower to push through everything, and Kageyama knew quite well. He didn't have to worry, because Hinata was going to be able to do this. He knew it.

But why was it as if his heart had been broken into pieces? He wanted to feel complete again... it was like his heart no longer held love. He did everything he would usually do, brushed his teeth, ate breakfast, went to school, and zoned out during class. But it was as if there was no longer meaning in his actions.

What was the purpose of life? After the doctors said that Hinata may never wake up again, it was like there was quite literally nothing left for Kageyama to do. He had screwed up again. He didn't tell Hinata how much he loved him.

"You won't quit volleyball right? If I don't play anymore..."

"We'll see."

"Promise me you won't."

"Promise."

"You can't break the promise okay? I don't want you to ever stop playing volleyball... you're going to make it on the Japan National Team and, and, and-"

"I don't ever want to do anything like that without you, okay? So get better soon, and come back after your surgery."

Kageyama had made a promise. He didn't know if he could keep it. Making it to the National Team, continuing on his volleyball journey without Hinata? He didn't think that was possible. He wandered in the empty halls after classes were over, just to reflect and think for a few moments. He sat on the cold floor,  just feeling truly clueless.

"You okay there?" Sugawara Koushi asked, interrupting Kageyama's thoughts. He stood in front of him, offering a helping hand. Kageyama took it willingly, and he was pulled to his feet once more.

"Suga-san..." Kageyama realized how much of a good senpai the third-year has been lately. When Kageyama was emotionally unwell, Suga was always there to comfort him.

"You know I'm always here for you-"

"Thank you. For everything."

"Oh well, uh, that was unexpected," Suga replied. "But it's no problem, really."

"Yeah..." Kageyama said, trying to fill in the silence. The silence wasn't awkward anymore, it was more of a comfortable one.

"So... let's talk about volleyball."

"I don't think I can play in the nationals, without Hinata. I just... can't."

"Is that he wanted?"

"Does it matter at this point, what he wanted?" Kageyama whispered, trying to hide his emotions. "I didn't play volleyball for him at first, so why is it bothering me so much?"

"Because you love him, Kageyama." Of course he did. It was true, and Kageyama knew damn well it was.

"But it hurts..."

"As it should," Suga said, turning away from Kageyama. "As cliche as it is, love is a mystery." Seeing Kageyama like this, reminded him of his own miseries and troubles. Suga knew that he himself was a coward and how he had let go of his chance of true love.

"What if I don't want to be in love?"

"Why not?"

"It's so... scary," said Kageyama as he shivered at the very thought. "It'll damage me more than anything else in the world."

"It could," Suga replied. "But it could also heal you, would it not? Besides, love is unstoppable, and you would know that wouldn't you? You love volleyball. After everything that could've stopped you, you're here aren't you? Succeeding, moving on to nationals, and your skills are overwhelming."

"But is loving Hinata worth it? Worth risking my entire volleyball career because I fell in love with my teammate, who has a high chance of dying at the moment? Worth falling into depression and potentially damaging my future?  Worth giving up everything I believe in?"

Suga looked straight into the younger setter's eyes. "It's worth it, no doubt."

A/N: I originally finished like 9/10 of this chapter a week ago, but I had no clue how to end it, so I procrastinated until now. My updating is slow as heck, but now that I kinda have the idea on what's happening next, I think I'll be updating quicker.