32

"This is great!"

"Iwaizumi-san you've sad that at least 20 times in the last hour," Kageyama groaned, sipping his coffee.

Iwaizumi couldn't contain his excitement, as they made their way down the busy street. "The university team is fantastic! You already know Bokuto and Nishinoya from there."

Hearing the familiar names made his heart sink.

"I don't even know why they extended this scholarship to me," Kageyama mumbled.

Iwaizumi sensed that something was obviously bothering the younger boy but he couldn't tell what.

"I know you hate this nickname but... aren't you the King of the Court?"

"Why would you say it if you knew I hated it?"

Iwaizumi chose his words carefully. "And why do you hate it?"

"What do you mean?"

Iwaizumi shrugged casually. "Simple question; why do you hate it?"

"Well that's obvious isn't?" Kageyama couldn't find the words. "...It's the feeling it gives me?"

"And what's that feeling like?"

"What are you, my therapist?" Kageyama said, unintentionally attacking one of his best friends. Recently he noticed that he had a knack for accidentally hurting the closest people in his life.

Iwaizumi remained unfazed. "Might as well be. You gotta open up to someone Tobio. I've been studying psychology as an elective, and if I had to take one thing from it, is that people like you always end up driving themselves insane."

"People like me?"

"Keeping your emotions bottled up, saying their fine when they aren't."

"Hajime, I'm okay," Kageyama reassured. "Stuff that happened in the past doesn't affect me anymore."

Iwaizumi frowned. "Is there a reason that they don't?"

"Because I need to move on."

Iwaizumi nodded, and decided not to push it.

"Alright Tobio let's talk about something else."

Kageyama was the worst at small talk. He desperately looked around the street they were walking on for something to comment on.

"Ow!" Kageyama exclaimed as he felt a sting on his leg.

"What's wrong?" Iwaizumi looked in concern.

"I think I got stung by a wasp." He examined the spot and there was a huge red bump in place.

"Are you allergic?"

"Don't think so." He had been stung once as a kid, so he assumed that he was fine.

"Then don't be a baby about it." Iwaizumi chuckled.

Kageyama feigned disbelief and extreme hurt.

"Kidding, let's go get you some ice."

At least they had something to talk about, Kageyama noted, as he continued to limp on their search for ice.

"Speaking of wasps, did you watch that recent Marvel movie?"

"Yeah it was pretty fun!"

"Did you stay for the post credit scene? 'Cuz that really shook me when she and her parents just disintegrat-"

"SPOILERS TOBIO, SPOILERS-"

△△△

The night wind sent a chill down his spine. It probably would have been a wiser choice to wear something thicker than his current t-shirt and shorts.

He looked around to see if anyone was nearby but it didn't seem like there was. His town had a modest population but there always seemed to be someone nearby, so this seemed a little weird.

He wasn't too far from Karasuno High, and he could see it from a distance. He found himself a spacey area and Kageyama examined the round object in his hands. The moonlight hitting the ball let him see all the small details that he never noticed before. He felt the texture of it in his hands, each edge and dent. Some of the outer layer was ripped and he was reminded how old it was. His father had gift it to him the on his birthday and that was the last birthday they spent together.

He was slightly shaking, mostly from the shivering but Kageyama could tell that he was nervous as well.

Kageyama bounced the volleyball on the ground a few times, too afraid to do anything else to it. He tried to twirl it on one finger but ended up fumbling it and letting it hit the ground.

He was rusty.

He hated the feeling of incompetence and decided to head back home. He picked up the ball and took a few steps to the direction of his house but his knees locked.

He couldn't bring himself to leave without trying.

He took a deep breath, and held the ball in front of him.

It reminded him of his first time trying to kill a spider. His dad was behind him urging him on, and he held the tissue in his right hand, and hovered it above the unassuming arachnid. He was in the perfect stance but he just couldn't bring himself to move his hand.

He tried tossing it a bit but ended up just dropping it and letting it bounce.

He sighed and bounced it a few time, lost in thought.

He was also self-aware of how he was out in the open and anybody could see it and judge him.

God dammit.

Iwaizumi was right. He was scared and no longer confident.

This was the first time he touched a volleyball in more than a year.

"You a basketball player or something?"

The voice startled him and caused him to knock the ball away.

He looked to see a silver haired boy approach him sheepishly.

"Sugawara-san!" Kageyama pulled him into a hug.

"Woah, Kageyama showing affection? Are you feeling alright?" Suga put his hand on his friend's forehead and pretended to check his temperature.

Kageyama blushed and gently pulled away. He was unsure why he did it too, but he was so surprised to see his friend.

"Boy is it good to see you Kageyama-kun," Suga beamed. "Why did you never contact me?

"I didn't know how," Kageyama lied.

Suga stared at him in confusion. "You have a phone... and my number..."

Kageyama cleared his throat. "How are you?"

"I'm good!" Sugawara exclaimed. "University life isn't that great, but whatever. I stayed in contact with Daichi and Asahi and I actually asked both of them if they talked to you and they said they didn't." His expression slowly turned into a look of accusation.

Kageyama gulped. "Is that so? I didn't know that."

The smile disappeared from Suga's face. "I also contacted Nishinoya and Tanaka-"

"Okay I haven't talked to any of you. The only people I still talk to from Karasuno is Tsukishima and Yamaguchi."

"Why?" His voice cracked a bit. "I heard that you quit volleyball after we lost. Tell me that's not true."

"It's true." It broke Kageyama's heart to see Suga so disappointed.

"It's because of Hinata isn't it?"

"Yes." He couldn't lie anymore to him. Suga always saw right through him.

Suga's expression was soft. "Didn't you also promise him that you would keep playing even when he's gone?"

"Yes." He looked at his broken and torn volleyball on the ground.

"It's not too late to honor his last wish." Suga put a hand on the taller boy's shoulder.

Kageyama coldly shrugged off his hand. "It's not his last wish because he's going to come back."

"Kageyama..."

"You're going to lecture me aren't you?" Kageyama chided. "Just like Iwaizumi."

"Iwaizumi? Are you telling me you stayed in contact with him and not any of us?" Suga accused.

"Yeah, because he cares about me," Kageyama retorted.

"And you're implying that we don't care about you?" Suga said. His soft and sweet persona wasn't there anymore, and Kageyama hadn't ever seen his friend so angry towards him. "You shut us out of your life and we tried to get a hold of you but you wouldn't-"

"I miss him."

Suga stopped in his tracks, looking at how affected he was with his words.

"I do, I miss him, I do." Kageyama admitted. "People try to talk to me about it but I change the subject and I don't let them know how I feel. I quit the team and I'm well into my third year there's no way I'm able to join it again. I let everyone down, causing our team to be merely mediocre again. I don't think I can set a ball at all now."

The more he spoke the more he felt himself tear up.

"You gotta open up to someone Tobio. I've been studying psychology as an elective, and if I had to take one thing from it, is that people like you always end up driving themselves insane."

"People like me?"

"Keeping your emotions bottled up, saying their fine when they aren't."

"It's okay... it's okay..." Sugawara comforted, pulling him into another embrace. Kageyama let himself cry at into the shoulder of his (mother figure) good friend.

Eventually, Kageyama stopped sobbing and Suga gave him some space. He went over and picked up the volleyball.

Kageyama looked at him curiously unsure what he was going to do.

"Think fast!" He tossed the ball in a nice parabola arc (rainbow!!) towards him.

Kageyama instinctively raised his hands up and his fingers made contact with the ball.

He returned the ball directly back to Suga.

"You can't just lose talent." Suga grinned, setting it back to him.

It felt like finally crushing the spider with the tissue, and it just felt so good.

This was for Hinata.

A/N: Me, in your brain: comment on this chapter

You: why

Me: you gotta