Chapter 12

Picture of Will ---------------->

I woke up early in the morning. I was not able to sleep very well last night. I was lying awake almost all night. Today was going to be an important day for me. I am so nervous, my hands are all sweaty. I finally gave up and went to the bathroom. No use lying awake in the bed, better get ready. I took my time to in the shower. I was trying to control my anxiety. I wrapped a towel around myself and came out.

I and my closet were having a staring competition. I have no idea what to wear. I mean, should I wear something which I would normally wear on a school day? Or should I dress up a little? I think I should dress up today. I want to look nice for Noah today. If we become official couple, I don’t want to look plain in comparison with him. But, I don’t think he cares much about what I wear. Ok, so casual it is.

I picked out a short black denim skirt. It came down to my mid-thigh, just right. I wore a baby pink color tank top and picked out my favorite pink heels. The heels were medium. I hardly had any high heels, they are uncomfortable. I applied some clear lip-gloss and was ready to go. I grabbed my bag and went downstairs for breakfast.

I couldn’t keep the smile off my face since yesterday night. I was smiling without any reason I know, but I just couldn’t stop. My parents were already at the table. I kissed them both on the cheek and plopped down on my usual seat. I started digging into my eggs happily. I looked up to see my parents staring at me with an unreadable expression. Ok weird. What’s up with them now?

I started eating again but, I could feel their eyes on me. “What?” I asked slightly annoyed. They of all people should know I don’t like this staring. It makes me uneasy.

They looked at each other and smiled. “ Nothing. Why are you smiling?” My mom asked and my dad nodded in agreement.

I frowned a little. “Why? I don’t smile or something?” I asked. I was trying really hard to keep my composure. I am already nervous and they are not helping in making me feel better.

“No honey, just like that. You are never so cheerful in the morning. It’s a good thing that you are enjoying school.” My mom said easily.

Only if she knew the real reason, she would flip out. But, I don’t think they will mind. My parents like Noah so, no problems there. Somehow, I was glad that we moved here. I was not very thrilled about it before but, I am now. I am glad I met Noah. I owe it to my dad. He insisted in moving here which worked out fine for me. I smiled as soon as I thought about Noah.

“Where is Noah? He is never late.” My dad asked. I blushed at the mention of his name. I kept looking at my plate so; my parents couldn’t see my face.

“He has something to do. He will drop me home.” I said shrugging as if no big deal. I will miss riding with him. We catch up on a lot of things during our car rides.

My dad just nodded and started reading his paper again. I was walking to school today. If I take my car, I won’t be able to ride with Noah. I won’t miss his company for anyone. I pulled out my I-pod and set it on shuffle. I was singing along softly. Music was helping me calm my nerves. I have decided what I am going to say to Noah. I have memorized the speech. I just hope that I won’t forget anything.

I reached school and walked to my locker. I am so excited I could burst. I made my way to the first class. Noah didn’t show-up in any of the classes. It was lunch now. I was feeling disappointed. Noah never skipped school. I went to my locker and take out some books. I have German next.  I should go have lunch. Everyone will be waiting for me.

I closed my locker and turned around. I ran straight into Noah. I am sure it is him. I can smell his aftershave and him actually. He gripped my waist tightly to prevent me from falling. “Whoa, easy there.” He said.

I just smiled. Come on say what you have decided. I was about to say something when cut me off, “I want to tell you something.” He said.

Ok. Should I let him say first? I think I should its better anyway. I mentally crossed my fingers. “I have something to tell you too. But first you go.” I said.

He smiled at me so warmly. My heart melted at the sight of his smile. I love to see him happy. He was about to say something when a blonde girl wrapped her arms around his waist from behind. “Hey, baby.” She said.

I froze. Who is she? I don’t think I have ever seen her around before and why did she call him baby? I looked at Noah confused. He took her hand in his and pulled her forward. “She is my girlfriend. Her name is Cassie.” He said smiling happily.

My heart stopped. I realized I was not breathing. I drew in a shaky breath. She is Noah’s girlfriend but, how is this possible. I am dreaming. I blinked a couple of times but, no this was real. This girl is his girlfriend. Oh my God! My vision was becoming blurry. I blinked to prevent the tears from falling. But, I wanted them to fall. I wanted to cry.

“Cassie this is Rebecca.” Noah said waving his hand between me and Cassie.

She stepped forward and stretched her hand for me. I shook it quickly and took a step back. I can’t do this, it’s too difficult. I was still recovering from the shock. She smiled at me and snaked an arm around Noah’s waist. I smiled back at her weakly. Noah turned around and kissed her forcefully. I felt a bile rise in my throat but, I quickly swallowed it and looked away. Am I supposed to be standing here?

I was about to leave when Noah caught my hand making me stop. “Where are you going? The cafeteria’s this way.” He said breathlessly pointing to the opposite direction. Cassie was looking at me a little annoyed. Maybe, because Noah pulled out of the kiss to stop me from leaving

“You go ahead. I will be there in few minutes.” I said. Noah took Cassie’s hand and walked towards the cafeteria. He looked at me once again over his shoulder before going out of sight. I need to get out of here. I can’t break down in front of the whole school. I grabbed all of my books and ran out of the school in a hurry.

I didn’t even care if I was pushing people to get out. I started walking towards my house. I was literally running. I finally reached home. I fumbled with the keys and pushed the door open. I shut it loudly and ran upstairs to my room. I closed the bedroom door with a loud thump.

As soon as I closed the door, I slumped to the floor. I didn’t stop the tears from falling this time. I hugged my knees and rested my forehead on them. I was crying uncontrollably. I didn’t want to stop crying. I never was capable of handling pain and nothing's change. Why me? What have I done to deserve this? My love story ended before it started. What am I going to do?

I have no idea how long I have been crying but, however long it was, was not enough. I am heartbroken, I can cry. “Crying is for weak people”. I said to myself. I don’t care I am weak and I am not ashamed of it. I never did anything wrong to deserve this. It is all Noah’s fault, he did this. Now, he is happy and I am shattered. I remembered my mom’s words; she always said that love looks good only in books and on TV.

I always believed that what she said is not true. But, today I am proved wrong. Now, what am I suppose to do? I am going to avoid him, stay away from him as much as possible. But, in school, we sit together in all the classes we share. I know it’s not a good idea but, I have no other option. I hate him for hurting me like this. But it’s not really his fault. He always said we are friends. Why am I not mad at him?

I leaned against my bedroom door for support. My phone started ringing. I pulled my phone out of my bag. I checked the caller id, it was Noah. I started sobbing more. Please leave me alone. I rejected his call but, he called again. Why is he doing this? Hasn’t he already done enough? Noah called me at least five times. I rejected his call every single time and finally switched off my phone.

There was a knock on my door. I jerked up quickly, moving away from the door. I wiped my face roughly. “Who is it?” I asked in a shaky voice.

“Sweetie, you okay?” My mom asked. They are home already? What is the time? I flicked the lights on and looked at the clock on my side table. It is 10.30. Shit, have I been crying for so long. I must be looking like a mess. If my mom sees me like this she, will know something is wrong. There was a knock again.

“I am fine. I am changing.” I said. Please just go, I don’t want to talk to anybody. Thankfully, I heard a couple of noises going away from my room. It must be my parents.

I am not in the state to even look at anyone, forget talking. How could I have been so stupid? Look what came out of it. Just pain, hurt and a broken heart. I walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. I looked like a mess. My eyes were red and puffy; the tip of my nose was bright red. My nose is blocked and my throat is hurting but, my headache is killing me. I am looking like a ghost of one of the horror films. I splashed some cold water on my face. I got changed into my pyjamas. I swallowed two painkillers for the headache. I just wanted to go to sleep. When I wake up tomorrow, this might just be a bad dream. I lay on my bed. I felt more lonely right now than ever before. I was tired; I didn’t sleep well last night. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

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