Chapter 8

Berlin

It was like I was sent right back to that day.

The sight of Max's limp, lifeless body falling to the ground flashed across my eyes, although this time it was Osias in his place. Reassuring myself it wasn't real didn't help, I could still feel every single pang of emotion I'd experienced that day. It was as if my mind suddenly released all of my pent-up emotions since Max's death in one huge tidal wave, and I felt myself being swept up in the current, pushing me under.

But no matter how much I felt like I was betraying Max, I couldn't seem to let him go. I couldn't deal with another death. Osias couldn't leave me to go fight. I wouldn't let him.

"Who is Max?" Osias whispered in a curious tone, halting his movements as he hovered over me, my face burning underneath his intense gaze. I simply whimpered quietly and covered my face, yelling at myself inwardly at bringing him up.

I wasn't ready to tell him. I didn't think I would ever be ready, in fact.

After a long moment of silence, Osias's deep, aggravated growl reverberated throughout the room.

"Tell me goddammit!" he practically screamed out at me in his Alpha tone, causing both my wolf, Casey, and I to flinch. "Did he hurt you? Tell me where he hurt you." He rattled off, the fiery intent behind his words burning in his eyes.

Although he was being forceful with his words, I understood that he was just worried and wouldn't give up until I told him what he wanted to know. Curse me and my big, emotional mouth.

So, with a large, shaky breath and a wary glance up at my... Mate... I began.

"M-max was my... m-mate..." I whispered, my lungs beginning to burn at the effort it took to keep myself from sobbing hysterically.

"The rogues. They... th-they... K-...K-killed..." I choked on my breaths, tears spilling over nonstop as I began to hyperventilate, completely incapable of finishing off my sentence. My chest heaved and my skin became clammy, my vision blurry as my face twisted up and I sobbed loudly, feeling utterly hopeless as a heavy dam broke deep inside of me.

I cried from the depths of my soul, not even bothering to wipe my eyes as I released six months of pent-up emotions in the sobs. I didn't even mind when Osias reached over and tenderly pulled me into his arms, leaning into him as I was desperate for any source of comfort. My tears soaked into his shirt and he just held me silently, running his fingers gently along my spine.

"Did the rogues... Kill him?" asked Osias after a long moment of hesitation, his voice holding a soft tone I'd never experienced from him. Looking up at him through blurry eyes filled with tears, I was only able to nod solemnly. The banging and screams from outside were drowned out by a loud rushing in my ears, my shoulders slumped in relief as a huge weight lifted off of my heart and fluttered far away.

I'd never talked to anyone about the fact that his death affected me so deeply. When our Alpha, my mate, my Max, was killed, the pack was automatically done for. Everyone mourned for months just as I did, over the loss of our pack, the loss of our beloved Alpha, and the lives of so many who fought for us until the very end.

I was not the only one that lost someone of utmost importance that day, so I blended into the background and decided to handle my mourning on my own. When we burned his remains and I watched them drift into the winds and roll over the mountains that he loved so much, I knew that I couldn't tell of the love that we shared to anyone else.

But I just did.

Osias's expression was etched with worry as my breathing slowed to normal and my tears fell freely, almost tranquilly, down my face. There was no more struggle left in my body as I looked into his eyes while mine were feeling heavier by the second. They are such a beautiful shade of blue...

"Thank you..." I muttered softly to my mate with the ghost of a smile, both of my ashen hands clutching his tan wrist in a last desperate attempt to make him stay before something pushing at the back of my mind forced both my wolf and I into a deep, sinfully blissful slumber.

❦

The grass was as soft as a fluffy blanket underneath my bare feet as I landed in a breathtakingly beautiful expanse of bright green land. Casey laid next to me as I slowly stood up, his eyes shut tight and soft snores left his small body. I smiled down at my small wolf for a moment before squinting my eyes to look into the distance.

Wow.

The view was even more breathtaking, causing goosebumps to rise on my skin at the sheer beauty of the scenery. A large ocean went on for as far as I could see at the far end of the large expanse of land, framed by a thick forest of verdant trees that swayed carelessly in the wind. The sight was unbelievable and left me in a tranquil state of repose.

A giggle left my mouth as I took in a deep breath of the fresh air before opening my arms to the heavens and sighing at the feeling of sheer, radiating happiness that rolled off of everything around me. The pleasurable feeling filtering slowly into my pores and slid along my bones, coating my body in a cocoon of joy as I wiggled my toes in the blanket of grass beneath my feet.

"Hey, baby." came a calm voice from behind me. I whipped around immediately at the familiar tone, my breath hitching in my throat at the person that stood before me with an equally familiar wolf at his side. He wore nothing but a pair of fitted, black jogging pants that hung low on his hips and a bright smile.

I thought that my cheeks would break with the size of the smile that broke out on my face, not hesitating to throw myself into his arms, sobbing with happiness into his firm chest. My hands clutched at his bare chest as he held me tightly, not saying another word until my sobs turned into hiccups and finally to deep, strangled breaths. I took a moment to console myself, glancing to the side and giving a watery smile at the sight before me. Casey was snuggled tightly up against Max's wolf, Camden, and whimpering with happiness as the much larger wolf nudged his muzzle against Casey's. It was a beautiful sight.

Everything is beautiful here.

"Max..." I whispered, looking up incredulously into his bright green eyes as that same genuine, bright smile that I remembered remained on his lips. I reached my hand up, my fingers trembling as I touched his cheek.

"Is... is this real?" I stuttered out, my heart beating loudly in my chest as I willed him to say 'yes'. I longed for him to say that I was just dreaming the last six months of my life and that I'd finally awoken to reality.

The bright smile on his handsome face turned into a somber one as he sighed and sat in the fluffy grass, promptly setting my much smaller body into his lap and wrapping his strong arms around my waist protectively. I immediately turned to straddle him, my hands resting on his cheeks as I rested my forehead against his, our lips brushing as I smiled brightly against them.

"Technically, it is real. All of it." he began, stroking my cheek with the soft pad of his thumb just like he used to. "Me. You." he breathed out, taking my hand in his large one and intertwining our fingers in a loving gesture. "However, not... in the way that you think. This is the Goddesses's afterlife, Ber. This is where I have been. Looking over you." he explained, pulling back to press soft kisses to each of my fingertips.

"Watching over me?..." I trailed off, confused and beginning to feel quite dazed as I rested my head on one of Max's broad shoulders, shivering as he pressed a soft kiss to the skin of my shoulder where his mark used to be.

"Yes. Every day." Max whispered, trying to hold back the layer of pain in his voice, although he failed miserably as his voice cracked at the very end. "I am so sorry for leaving you, sweetheart... I fought my hardest. The day that the rogues attacked and I died... I was actually planning on proposing to you." he chuckled humorlessly as he rested his head on top of mine before continuing. "I had the whole night planned out. It was going to be perfect, and then I had to go and die and ruin it all." he joked, obviously trying to cheer me up although jokes about his death were something that I didn't, even in the very least, find funny.

I whimpered against his skin, shaking my head into his neck and squeezing my eyes shut as another wave of dizziness hit me. Max cleared his throat and rocked me gently when he realized that I did not laugh, although he continued speaking a second or two later.

"I saw your struggle. I felt every moment of your pain. It took all of my strength not to do something rash and force the Goddess to put me back down there with you." he growled, my eyes snapping to our wolves as Camden began growling protectively over Casey as well. "I hated seeing you in so much anguish every second of every day. I tried so hard to get back to you, I swear I did, but it was no use." he took a deep, shaky breath and squeezed his eyes shut before continuing as I stared up at him with watery eyes.

"But I am going to find a way. I will get back to you, I promise. You see, I found a loophole, babe!" He smiled, rubbing his cheek lovingly against the top of my head as I listened. "It's... It's risky, but since the Goddess will not help me, it's my only hope. But I just know that it will work. So just hang in there, my love."  I bit my lip as Max's voice broke once again, a single tear running down his cheek as he gazed down at me with so much love and affection that I thought my heart would burst.

Max was coming back! He was coming back for me!

I cried happy tears, tasting the salty fluid as it dripped into the corners of my wide smile. I couldn't speak from my giddiness, but my happiness was expressed through the way I clung to him tightly, meeting his watery eyes with mine. Max flickered his eyes down, the glint of the sun on the metal around my neck catching his eye as a fond, reminiscent expression crossed his features.

He pulled back gently, lifting his hand hand to cup the fragile jewelry in his hand. He applied a gentle pressure against the clasp that held the two pieces together, the metal falling open with a quiet squeak. I stared at his face, tears making my vision blurry as he gazed at the contents with a reminiscent chuckle, taking it in for a moment before closing the locket and placing it back against my skin. I hadn't looked at the contents of the locket since he'd passed. I simply couldn't bring myself to.

"My love. My beautiful mate. You mean the world to me." he whispered, his eyes drifting back up to look at me as if I was the most precious thing in this world. His warm hand hooked behind my neck, pulling me forward with the softest touch, as if I would break if he applied any more. I met him in the middle as our lips touched. It was like a bomb went off in my heart as it began palpitating wildly, my hands tangling in his hair while our lips worked wonders, my muscle memory reminding me of all of his little movements as we pressed against one another.

It was magical.

But I couldn't help the guilty pang in my chest as I remembered how I'd done with same with Osias, but my elation at finding out my mate would soon be back with me outweighed the sharp feeling. I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly as we gently pulled apart a few moments later.

"You promise you'll be back?" I murmured breathlessly, touching our foreheads together once again.

"Of course. I met someone who can help. He will get me back to you. I promise, baby." Max responded with a reassuring nod, and I smiled at him with watery eyes and salty tears smeared all over my face. I probably looked so ridiculous, face and eyes red with emotion and a bit of snot dripping from my nose from my incessant crying. But we both reveled in the moment silently, one that we both never wanted to end.

"Max... I don't feel well..." I winced as I pulled back, rubbing my temples and letting out a soft groan as the dizziness I'd felt came back full-force and ten times as strong.

"That means that we don't have long. Someone is trying to wake you." he explained, my eyes widening in fear at his words.

"No! I need more time with you!" I began to sob once more, shaking my head wildly and holding onto him tightly as if I could keep him from slipping away. I heard the pain-filled whimpers of my little Casey as he attempted to bury deeper into Camden as well.

Max once again only replied with a shake of his head and an extremely sad look on his face before he gently kissed me one last time.

"Remember what I told you. I will be back." Max said before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a green and pink bracelet, our favorite colors. When I finally got my blurry eyes to focus on it, I was able to make out the words: "Memento Te A Me Amari" along the top of the fabric.

"Latin. The language of our ancestors." he whispered before placing a kiss just behind my ear and whispering the translation very slowly to me so that I could never forget it.

"Darling, always Remember You Are Loved by Me."

❦

I woke with a start, heaving loudly and clutching at the soft fabric that was laid underneath me. It was eerily quiet as I woke, although I could easily sense the closeness of other bodies around me from underneath my closed eyelids.

"I think that he's awake..." mumbled a voice. After a few moments of quiet pondering, I recognized the voice as that of my Dad.

Daddy is here?

I forced my eyes open with a groan, squinting to get used to the bright lights and pushing myself up with my hands before glancing around the room.

I immediately flinched back, taken by surprise by the number of pack members that were currently staring at my scantily clad body, which was only covered by one of Osias's button-down shirts and my bright pink briefs. Where the heck am I?

"Daddy?..." I asked, my gaze settling on the sight of my Dad wrapped up tightly in the arms of my Papa. "What's going on?" I asked, glancing down at my hands and brushing my fingertips along the green and pink bracelet nestled in my fingers with the ghost of a smile.

It wasn't just a dream...

Dad looked up at Papa with a worried expression, almost as if he was asking for permission before my Papa nodded down at him and pressed his nose to Dad's mating mark possessively.

"Berlin, you've been asleep for about five hours. The attack just ended, the rest of the warriors are returning as we speak. We're in the safe room right now." He bit his lip and let out a squeak as my Papa accidentally nipped a spot on Dad's neck.

"Sorry." Papa grumbled in his deep, gruff voice before returning to his activity of practically devouring my Dad's neck. They're so affectionate that it honestly made me jealous, but a flutter in my stomach replaced the jealousy as I remembered with a smile.

Max would be coming back to me soon.

"Corey and Tyrus went to aid them, but don't worry, they're completely fine. Just a few scratches and bruises. They just linked me to let me know." My Dad continued. I nodded in response, not surprised by the fact that my brothers were drafted to help the warriors. They were both ridiculously strong dominants from Alpha blood, although Corey also had the smarts to go with it. Tyrus on the other hand... let's just say we didn't really know if anything was going through his mind most of the time.

"Where's Osias?" I asked quietly, my fingers clenching around the bracelet as I moved to stand up, noticing that we were in a room made completely of some kind of metal and that everyone in the room looked to be incapable of fighting a rogue pack. Most were either children, young women and submissive males. Everyone except for my Papa. He's perfectly capable of fighting off hoards of wolves, but if I had to take a wild guess, I would assume that he refused to leave my Dad's side as usual. His large body stood out against the rest of the people in the room, although he didn't seem to mind in the least.

My Dad stiffened at my question, rubbing his eyes before sighing softly and looking at me. "He went out to fight. The pack was getting outnumbered and he had to go out and fight alongside his warriors in order to win. He stayed here as long as he could, though. Watching you right there." he pointed to the makeshift bed that I was just laying on, which was actually just a thick pile of blankets stacked on top of one another.

My eyes widened at the words that my dad spoke and I bit my thumb nervously. I prayed that Osias was alright as I clutched the pink and green bracelet against my chest tightly.

Please be alive. I begged in my mind, biting my lip hard enough to draw blood. I would wait for Max, but at the same time I still wanted Osias to be okay.

As if on cue, my head snapped up at the sound of the metal door creaking open slowly. And all of the members of the pack around me began to run to their loved ones that stood on the other side of it. I did the same.

Upon spotting Osias, who was very much alive and only suffering from a few minor cuts, I ran to him. He looked utterly surprised as I ran up and wrapped my arms around his middle.

"I told you not to leave!" I yelled, my body shaking with the emotional overload of the past few hours as I looked up at him. "Y-you dummy!"I exclaimed half-heartedly, pulling back to pound on his chest gently with my fists. He only chuckled in response, pulling back a bit to look down at me.

"I would never leave you if I didn't absolutely have to." he stated, his hand on the small of my back as he led me out of the safe room and up the stairs to the third floor. "But sadly, desperate times call for desperate measures, and the warriors needed assistance." he finished before sniffing the air as we entered my room.

"Your heat. It seems to have disappeared..." he tilted his head curiously before lowering his head to sniff once more, along my neck this time. I shrugged, slipping away from his touch before walking over and setting the green and pink bracelet on my dresser.

As soon as my fingers left the fabric, everything hit me full-force. I doubled over in pain as soon as my fingertips left the fabric of the bracelet, suddenly longing for the Osias to come and ease the pain of the heat that tore right through me.

Before Osias could notice, I reached up, desperately grabbing for bracelet once again, and as soon as it appeared, the heat that wracked my body disappeared.

I stood, flabbergasted as I stared at the woven thread that made up the accessory. "This bracelet..." I whispered to Osias as he walked up behind me, looking over my shoulder at the bracelet, his brow creased in confusion.

"Where did you get that?" he asked, touching the fabric of it gently.

"Max. He gave it to me when I slept. We met in the Goddesses's afterlife." I explained with a smile in my tone, before slipping the bracelet onto my frail wrist and turning around to face Osias. " So that the heat cannot control my body... He said he was..." I began to tell him how Max said he had a plan to come back, but I halted just before the words left my lips, realizing that it probably wouldn't be a good idea if I informed him of the fact that another man was coming back to claim me sometime soon.

Osias smiled a sad smile, leading me to my bed before tucking me underneath my thick duvet and delivering a single kiss to the center of my forehead.

"That's some dream, kitten. I guess the medicine that Benji gave you works better than he thought, since it seems like it's still working. I'm glad. But you need to get some sleep." I looked up at Osias incredulously for a moment, wondering what the heck he was talking about before it clicked.

He didn't believe me.

He clearly thought that I was delirious from the medicine and had some kind of fever dream. I realized it was useless to try to explain the situation to him, so I simply nodded with a smile.

Max was coming for me soon. That was all that mattered.

"I will wait for you for as long as it takes, Angel." Osias whispered, his hands gently running through my blonde locks before he turned on his heel and walked out of my door, closing it gently behind him.