Chapter 90: Nice Guys See God

Is everyone ready for Babycakes ?!?!? Gosh, I know I am! Without further ado, let's see Adam watch his baby being born! FYI, I imagine at some point after the arrival, Adam plays this song softly in the hospital suite, and someone in SCIC---probably Kat--captures this. In my mind, Adam announces the baby to social media with this cover of "I Saw God Today" by George Strait. The song is about how a man sees everything differently after his child is born...

Adam, first night in the new house

I come awake all at once, the absence of Mac my first awareness.

It's dawn, and Mac is gone from the bed. Not normal. We're still on tour time and never get up before nine, and the House Blessing Party was still in full swing six hours ago. No way should Mac be up this early after the long day she had yesterday. I sit up, straining to hear familiar sounds in this new environment. I can't hear her moving in the bathroom. I'm on my feet in about five seconds, confirming that she's not in there.

I find her in the kitchen. She's sitting at the massive island on a bar stool, head in her hands, a bottle of half-drunk water in front of her. "You okay, Shorty?"

"Fine," she says softly. "Headache."

I kiss her head. I draw her hands to mine and kiss them, but also to check. They are swollen. As I reach down and draw her foot up, she pulls it back.

"Adam, I'm fine."

I grasp her foot again, pressing her ankle, watching by the light of my phone as the indentions remain, after I release them. "You're swelling."

"Pregnant women have swollen feet. I'm fine."

I don't even bother arguing with her. Mac has been in denial about her preeclampsia since the moment her blood pressure went borderline and the doctors warned us that she was in the early stages of this serious condition. It's like, she just couldn't take anymore pregnancy worries, after the subchorionic hemmorhage, and the gestational diabetes. She just refuses to accept what the doctor was telling us—that she would likely not make it to a forty week delivery. I decided after that one blow-up about going to LA, I would not fight Mac on this.

She could be in denial if she needed. I would take care of her; I would not create more stress for her.

I would be her shelter, not her storm.

So that's what I've done. I coax her to stay on the couch watching movies with me. I pretend to sleep way more than I can, snuggling with her in bed. I make playlists and ask her to sit on the swing listening to them with me. When she tries to work out, I seduce her and make love to her gently, just enough to get her fuck drunk and napping. Even last week, in the studio, I got Dev and Kaspar with the Mac-needs-partial-bedrest program, and we did most of our songwriting on massive comfortable couches. Mac thought Dev was stoned, but he was actually petrified she might go into labor in the studio, so he was all for keeping her as chill as possible.

I think she has an idea what I'm doing, but she's too fatigued to bite back about it. We love to bicker, but this season of our life is too tender and sweet for that.

Even now, when I should already be on the phone with Mac's doctor, I'm gonna let Kade play bad cop. Thank god he's still here. Kade had a few last night and tried to call an Uber, which I nixed immediately. He's SCIC, and we have fucking mansion with more than a dozen bedrooms. He stayed over, just like everyone else.

I sit down at the barstool beside Mac, rubbing her back gently. "It's a good thing you woke up," I tell her. "Kade asked me to get him up;, he's got an early shift."

Remember when I said I never lie to Mac? Yeah, that was a naive husband thing. Kade has the day off. I'll lie through my teeth to her to protect her from herself.

I pull out my phone. Kade answers immediately from deep sleep, probably thinking he's in the on-call room. "Dr Thomas," he says automatically.

"You're exactly who I need then," I say, hoping he catches my vibe.

The dude is swift. "Mac's in labor?"

"Uhhhm, not exactly. This is just your wake-up call. Although, you probably aren't the only person in this house that needs one right now." I'm trying to be cryptic, because Mac is looking at me suspiciously.

"Ohhhhh, she's having urgent preeclampsia symptoms? Headache, swelling?" he probes. He's been around enough now to be expecting this, too.

"You got it. Come on down to the kitchen, I'll make you a quick cup of coffee..."

He's down in five with his medical bag, taking two swift gulps from the mug I offer him before he sits down in front of Mac. "What's up?" he asks mildly.

My beautiful wife is no dummy. She glares at his medical bag, then him. "Just a headache. I know what you two are up to. Don't start with me. I'm fine."

"No man alive would argue with that statement, Mrs. Heartley," Kade jokes with her. "But you let me be the judge of your medical condition, okay?"

"I'm fine," she repeats. He ignores her, and pulls her hand away from her face, noting the swelling. He stoops to check her feet. "Headaches and swelling are symptoms of worsening preeclampsia. I know you know that. We're going to check your pressure and then your protein, okay?"

He's already got the cuff on her. "I'm fine." She repeats, trying to pull away. "Really—"

"Shut-up and be still," he says without heat. "This is your baby we are talking about, remember?"

She pales slightly and yields her arm. Kade grimaces at his blood pressure cuff.

"Well?" I ask.

"It's 145 over 90, higher than any point in the past." He pulls a sterile sample cup from his bag and hands it to her.

"You've got to be kidding," she says."You just happen to have a protein test kit in your bag?" she asks skeptically.

"No, Mac. I just happen to be the unofficial doctor to Soundcrush, and you just happen to have been experiencing borderline preeclampsia for the past eight weeks, so of course I shoved some protein dispsticks in my kit for this exact potential scenario. Go.Pee.In.The.Cup."

I love Dr. Call-Me-Kade right now.

Two minutes later, we are all staring at the test strip as it darkens immediately. "Okay, let's go to the hospital," Dr. Kade smiles at Mac and pats her back. "Happy Labor Day, Mama. You get to meet your baby girl today."

Mac shakes her head. "What? No? I'm not in labor. I know what labor is, and I'm not in labor."

"Nope, but you will be soon," Kade nods in empathy.

Mac looks between us, panicked. "No," she repeats. "I'm having a natural labor. I'm not being induced with drugs. No. We've almost made it. I've been fighting this preeclampsia for weeks and weeks and it's just been borderline high blood pressure, no other symptoms. It's not time to have the baby. My body is not ready...I can't...I won't. She needs time. I need more time...I've been praying so hard for more time...we all have..."

Kade pulls his stool close to her and takes her hands, "Mac, I'm not your doctor, but I'm going to tell exactly what he's going to say, when I call him in a few minutes, just to save us all time. You can not fight preeclampsia. It's true your condition has stayed miraculously stable for weeks and weeks. That is your miracle, okay? You prayers have been answered. You are nearly thirty eight weeks pregnant. That's full term. Your baby's lungs are developed, her birth weight will be normal, she'll be able to suck and feed properly, she's perfectly developed to be born today. But now you are in full blown preeclampsia. That protein in your urine means your body is going toxic and can no longer support you and your baby. Immediate delivery is the only option to keep you and your baby healthy at this point. Your body may not be in labor but it will respond to labor inducing drugs and you still have a good chance for a low-intervention delivery. It's time."

Mac's breathing is getting rapid and shallow as Kade speaks calmly to her. She nods at him, but then she looks at me and shakes her head. "It's not supposed to be like this," she whispers on the verge of sobs.

I go down on one knee in front of her. "I know. Everything we do spirals. We've been out of control from the moment we met. That's just how we are. We fight hardcore, we love hardcore, we break condoms and throw rings off balconies and throw Plan B in the ocean and we get married multiple times and cuss and pray and we raise hell and we go to church and every little part of you and me is fierce and extreme, even the way you bring a baby into this world. But we always win, don't we? It's okay, baby...you can stop fighting this. You can let go. I got you. We got this. We got that crazy love, and it's never going to be easy but it's never going to fail us, okay?"

I see it in her face, the way her fear bleeds away. It just can't exist when our love shines through it.

"Okay," she says simply, a hand on her belly, a hand on my face.

"Okay. Let's go have our daughter." I kiss her, slowly, fully, not even caring that Kade is sitting right there, putting in a call to her ob's emergency service.

Mac wants to wake only Leed, but when I go to his room, he's not there. I'm mildly surprised, but I don't have any doubt where to look. To my relief, I find him sleeping in the chair in Ashlynn's room. She's on top of her covers, huddled in more clothes than you'd need to climb Mount Everest. I guess they fell asleep talking. I'm actually kind of glad when Ashlynn wakes, too. I ask her to come, just in case I need her to deal with a Leed-level freak-out. He was amazingly steady when his own kid was born, but this is Mac we are talking about, not Tam.

Less than an hour later, Mac is installed in the only VIP birthing suite in Nashville, and the nurses have started her IV with labor-inducing drugs, and Kade is sitting at her bedside, telling us everything that we can expect while we wait on her own doctor to arrive. Ashlynn and Leed are in the second room—an attached lounge area, but they can hear everything going on, if we talk in raised voices.

When Kade finishes his instructions, he looks around the fancy suite. "Wow, this is nice. Worked in this hospital for three years, and I've never been in here. I guess you guys should send Keith and Nicole a thank-you note for this, huh?"

Kade has great bedside manner, making Mac smile like that. "Yeah, I heard that rumor, too—that they made a large donation to the hospital to have this suite renovated when their surrogate had their baby here. So it's true?"

He shrugs. "Before my time here, but that's the scuttlebutt, yeah."

Mac's expression changes...going all internal and confused.

"You okay, Shorty?" I ask, my hand going to her belly immediately. It's tight as a drum. Like super hard.

"Wow, is that a contraction? Like a real one?" I ask, my gaze glancing from Mac, who still looks stunned, to Kade, whose eyebrows lift in surprise.

"Mmmm, the pitocin was just started five minutes ago, it can't be working that quickly, but..." he places his hand on Mac's stomach feeling the tightness. "Mac, does it feel stronger than the Braxton-Hicks contractions?"

She nods, "Yeah, it hurts like hell, and...I..." she's very pale, "I...uhmmm...I think...I'm not sure, but I think my water just broke..."

"Oh shit, really?" For the first time, my gut clenches in nervousness. I look from her to Kade.

He pats her leg, moving it and feeling beneath. "Yep, that's a lot of amniotic fluid you are sitting on," he says mildly. "Wow, this is awesome, huh? It is your natural labor day. See? It's all going down for real. Do you want me to examine you, or wait for your doctor?"

"Uhhhhm, we can wait..." she says, looking at me sheepishly, like she doesn't want to put me in the position of having to watch Dr. Call-Me-Kade examine her.

"It's okay, Baby," I assure her. "He is a doctor, and I've got the scar to prove it." I point at my side, where my small appendix scar is. Dr. Call-Me-Kade laughs.

"No worries, I'm sure we have plenty of time," Kade presses the nurses station button. "Hey there, it's Dr. Thomas. Can we some new linens and lap pads in here? And call Dr. Michaelson, please. Tell him Mrs Lawson-Heartley is in latent labor and her water has just broken—so active labor is on the horizon."

"Come on, Dad," Kade slaps me on the back. "Let's get Little Mama up so we can get her bed changed. Her pressure's not crazy bad, so I want her to walk around a little, see if we can get this labor going..."

"Baby Girl, how you feeling?" Leed jumps up as Mac walks slowly into the lounge. He already looks less composed than when Tam was in labor. Maybe because Tam had an epidural and was completely chill about the whole process, laughing and joking her way through a fairly painless labor, and Leed knows that's not Mac's plan.

Another real contraction grips her and she stops, breathing through it. "Well, the good news is, my water broke and I'm actually in labor. The bad news is, I think it's going to hurt like a motherfucker."

"Get the drugs, Baby Girl," Leed admonishes her. "Jesus, why go through this?"

"Because my baby has had enough drugs," she says testily.

"This is different."

"Leed, it's her choice," Ashlynn says calmly, rising to give Mac a supportive hug. "You got this. We are all here to help you, okay? Not second-guess you," she shoots Leed a warning glance.

Leed takes a deep breath. "Right, you got this. I mean you are married to Adam. Labor is nothing compared to that constant state of torture."

Mac laughs. Ashlynn rolls her eyes. I shoot Leed a bird, but then I see Mac is having another contraction. She grips the IV pole and I immediately take her other arm, bending it at the elbow so she can bare down on my arm with her grip. She pants through the pain for what seems like an excruciatingly long time to me.

Kade was calmly checking his watch, timing the duration of her contraction. "Mac, maybe we should check your cervix now, ok?"

A few minutes later, Mac is back in bed and Kade is sliding confidently toward the bottom of the bed, on a stool. I put a hand on his shoulder. "Listen, have you ever done this sort of thing before?"

He laughs at me. "Dude, don't be an ass. I'm a surgical fellow, remember? I've been a real doctor for more than six years. I got this, man."

"Okay, okay, sorry. She's just..."

"I know," Kade winks at me. "She's your everything."

"Yeah," I whisper back.

"Adam, will you please stop undermining Kade's confidence?" Mac says tersely.

"No chance of that," Kade winks at her as he gently guides his legs into position, "You guys might be rock-stars, but this is my stage," he waves around as he snaps on a pair of gloves, "I'm the bad-ass here."

I hold MacKenna's hand and try not to think about the fact that a dude I did whiskey shooters with last night has his hands all the way up into my wife's womb.

"MacKenna," he says sternly. "You've been holding out on us, girl." He shakes his head at her with a crooked grin.

"I thought they were Braxton-Hicks," Mac says, breathing through another contraction. She's flat on her back, and she cries out this time, squeezing my hand harder than I would think she would be able to.

"What's going on?" I ask, confused.

Kade snaps his gloves off into the trash and helps Mac sit back up on the end of the bed. "Mac is six centimeters dilated. She's been in mild labor since yesterday, most likely." He reaches up and adjusts the machine on her IV pole, "Turning the pitocin off, we don't need that," he murmurs.

"I didn't have time to have a baby yesterday," she said. "I thought it was just false labor from being so active," she repeats.

"Wait...six centimeters...she only has to go to ten..." I look at Kade, he rises off the stool and shoulders me on to it.

"She wanted a natural childbirth, she's gonna get it. Sit, help her through her contractions," he tells me. I try desperately to remember what that natural childbirth coach that Mac hired for a personal consultation taught us. "Okay," I say. "Okay, Shorty, remember, you're gonna breathe and ride the pain."

"Fuck that shit," she hisses. "You try riding pain, Adam! This is not some fake BDSM video! This is real fucking pain! That's some stupid made up shit!" She squeezes again, her whole body going rigid as another contraction grips her. I let her dig her nails into my wrist, unable to do much else to help her.

Behind me, I hear Kade on the phone. "She's going into active labor. Yeah. Two and half minutes apart, duration 60 seconds." He looks across the room at the monitors. "Yeah, every five minutes. 145 over 90. Yeah. Really? Wow, that sucks. What about Anderson? Okay. Who's on call? Ok. Wow. No, yeah, I'll stick around. Alright, good luck with the traffic, see you soon. Yeah."

Kade walks back over casually, his hand in his pockets. "Soooooo, the interstate is shut down. Tractor trailer jack-knifed. Dr. Michaelson is...stuck in traffic. His partner Anderson would have to come from the same way. But don't worry, every thing is going fine. You are having a perfectly normal labor. You don't need a high risk obstetrician to manage this delivery. We are going to get the OB resident on call in here..." he calls the nurses station and we hear two nurses debating on what the resident's name is. Cause apparently he just started his residency. Like today.

"Okay," Kade laughs a little nervously. "Well, when you decide what his name is, get him in here. Also his attending, obviously. Considering."

Silence. Finally the nurse says, "The attending is performing a C-section. On triplets."

"Weeeeell, so he'll be handling the aftermath for a little while," Kade says calmly. "Go to his OR, make sure he knows he has a STAT delivery to follow."

"Yes. Dr. Thomas."

Kade turns to us, his composure completely unruffled. "I know that's a little concerning, but don't worry. You'll have two competent doctors here before you deliver.

"No!" Mac says. "Not some noob and some other doctor I don't know. You!"

Kade shoots me a look. "Mac, any resident that makes this program is highly competent. I'm sure," he adds, like he doesn't actually know. For sure.

"Not some noob," she repeats. "You, you, you! I swear to fucking god, Kade, I'm going to kill you if you walk out of this room and leave me and my daughter at the mercy of some kid on his first day of being a doctor!"

He blinks. "Okay, no worries, I can deliver your baby, if it comes to it. I'm qualified and if the doctors on this service are tied up, it's considered a courtesy for us surgeons to assist on other services. If that's what you both want..." he looks at me again.

"How many babies have you delivered?" I'm almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Oh, about four dozen, at least," he mutters, and I catch something in his tone. "That's a lot, for not being an obstetrician, you know..." he defends.

"How many that you didn't cut out?" I ask suspiciously.

He grins, "Plenty. Way more than that noob resident on his first day," he winks at Mac just as the hardest contraction yet grips her, and she screams. Like really screams. Not the happy sex scream I'm used to. An agony scream. I take her nails in my arm gladly. I wish I could take all her pain.

"Jesus!" Leed cries from the next room, and I hear Ashlynn muttering, "It's okay. Maybe try sukasana. And breathe, Leed."

"God, where is my mother?" Mac cries after her contraction is over.

I bite my lip. She told me specifically not to wake her, earlier. She didn't want her mother in the middle of a doctor-supervised induction, she thought it would be too stressful, given their strained relationship.

"I'm calling her on Leed's phone now," Ashlynn calls from the other room. "Owww Leed! You are squeezing my hand too tight."

The next forty-five minutes are intense. Natural childbirth is only beautiful once the baby is here, I guess. In the middle it's terrifying and agonizing—and I'm not even the one having the baby. Seeing Mac in so much pain, and worried that she was going to have a fucking stroke because of her blood pressure on top of it, I honestly don't know how I stayed calm.

I guess because I have to. Mac needs me. I quietly endure her cries and calmly encourage her between every contraction. After the first fifteen minutes of hard labor, all the profane fury leaves her. She is quiet between contractions too, then snaps to focus as another pain grips her. Every contraction, she is reaching for me, grappling onto my forearms, like the force of her gripping me gives her some control and takes the focus off the squeezing in her womb that she has no control over. After a little while, and at Kade's suggestion, I climb in the bed behind her, so she can get a better grip on my arms during contractions, and a better rest leaning against me between them.

Kade checks her again. "You're doing great. Eight centimeters. Almost there."

Her mom arrives, and Mac practically lunges for her. "I can't. I can't do this. It hurts too much. Something's wrong. Tell this doctor I'm dying...please help me."

Sam exchanges a look with Kade. "I'm a midwife," she says simply.

He nods. "Fully effaced. Eight centimeters. Baby's heartbeat is good. Mac's pressure is high but not spiking. Won't be long."

She nods. She takes a wet cloth and wipes MacKenna's face as another contraction washes over her and she screams. When it's over, she says, "MacKenna, listen to me. Going from eight to ten centimeters is the transition phase, remember? You've seen hundreds of women in transition. They all say the exact same things you just said. They all think they are dying. Did you ever see one of them die?"

Mac shakes her head.

"Transition goes quickly. It will be over soon. Pushing is less painful. But you have some time more until you are ready to push. You will do this. You can do it with less pain. What is your body telling you? Where do want to be right now? In this bed? In a chair?"

"On the floor," Mac pants.

"The floor, Shorty?" I ask.

Her mother is nodding. "Hands and knees. Best position for many women."

"We don't really encourage floor laboring," Kade says mildly. "You know, not the most sanitary place to be. Hard to monitor," he gestures to the fetal monitor and the blood pressure cuff.

"Please, Adam..." MacKenna pants. She turns to look at me. "Do something with your doctor..."

"We're getting on the floor," I say to Kade.

He rolls his eyes. "Of course you are."

"Leed, are there any blankets in there?" Sam calls.

"Yeah," he calls. He strides in and makes a pallet on the floor. I guess he just needed to feel useful or something, or maybe Sam being here makes him feel better, because now he is all cocky Lion grin. "Come on Macaroni. You got this."

Leed and I help Mac to the floor. Kade hovers around, trying to get the fetal monitor and blood pressure cuff to work. Finally he gives up. "Forty-five minutes on the floor, okay? If you aren't ready to push by then, I need you back in the bed for fifteen minutes worth of monitored laboring, deal?"

Mac nods.

"She'll be ready to push by then," Sam says confidently. She hands Leed a clean dry washcloth, and he wets it at the sink. "Suck," he commands Mac, and she sucks the moisture from it, because the hospital doesn't allow women in labor to eat or drink, in case they have to go to emergency surgery.

Another half an hour of Mac in intense labor seems like an eternity to me. Between Leed and Sam, lavishing Mac with attention, I feel useless, but every time I get out of her line of sight, she gets frantic. "Stop moving away,okay?" she tells me. "I need you. Only you."

"I'm right here, Shortcake. I'm not going anywhere. Never leaving you when you need me, okay? I was just getting you another cool cloth," I press the cloth to her face and neck.

Leed is watching me. He slaps me on the back, and nods. "It's a little crowded in here, Macaroni. I'll be in the next room, okay?" He smooths her hair, rises gracefully and shoves my head a little. "You got this, brother."

Wow, it still surprises me, when I get the Leed stamp of approval. It's a pendulum with him. Sometimes we're cool, sometimes we're not. I've been on his shit list ever since I protested Mac to going to LA for the Cub's birth, after her preeclampsia diagnosis.

Just as Leed is leaving, a kid in scrubs comes in. His gaze follows Leed, recognizing him, then wanders over to us all on the floor. Kade is currently down here on the floor with us, checking Mac's blood pressure with a manual cuff.

"What is going on here?" the kid says. He looks at Kade, who has donned scrubs and is wearing his hospital badge. "Who the hell are you?"

"Dr. Thomas, Surgical Fellow. You're the noob, I mean, the new resident?"

The kid nods. "Alderson." He points at Mac. "She can't be on the floor."

"She can be," Sam assures him. "Many women have labored and delivered in this position."

The kid shakes his head. "No, she really can't. We don't...do that."

"She's not delivering in this position," Kade assures him with a minor glare at Sam. "She's just laboring down. Nine centimeters. Just a few more minutes, and I'll have her back up on the monitor for pushing. Everything is fine."

"You...you're not on this service. You can't deliver her. That's my job."

"Oh yes, he can," Mac grunts, but she can't say more. She's having another contraction. She grits her teeth at me, and instinctively, I spread the cloth in front of her face and she bites down on it.

Dr. Kade says, "Look, she wants me. We always help out down here if you guys get in an overload. I've delivered way more babies than you. Just go on to your next patient, okay, Dr. Alderson?"

"I'm calling my attending," the kid whines and stalks to the phone.

"Kade, will you do something with that kid? He's getting on my fucking nerves," I growl.

Kade sighs, but he climbs to his feet.

"Alderson," he snaps. "What don't you understand when I say I am surgical fellow consulting on this delivery, authorized by Michaelson?"

Apparently invoking Dr. Michaelson's name, carries some weight, because Alderson stops with his hand on the wall phone.

Since he has the kid's attention, Kade makes an aggressive stab with his finger. "What if I tell him you were paged over an hour ago and you are just now coming to asses his priority high-risk patient? Do you know who this is? This is MacKenna Fucking Lawson! Of Soundcrush! And her husband, Adam Fucking Heartley, Nashville's Own, also of Soundcrush! You should be damn glad I was hear to monitor her, and save your ass and your job, because you've dropped the ball here, Dr. Alderson."

The kid looks from Mac to me, holding up his hand. "I didn't know...nobody said it was a priority patient..."

"Obviously nobody said it was a priority patient. You can't say a patient is a priority. You missed the code."

"What code?"

"I don't know your fucking codes up in L&D!!!" Kade yells at the kid. "I know the codes in Thoracic! You've obviously already pissed off the nurses up here, if they haven't clued you in on the codes! You better go kiss some nurse ass right now, Alderson. Christ, fucking up and pissing people off on the first day! Get out of here!"

"Shit," Alderson mutters and scrambles out the door.

"That was fucking awesome, man," I slap hands with him, but he just shakes his head and says, "Goddamn, I'm gonna lose my job."

Mac spits out the cloth and eases back in a yoga-like resting pose, now that her contraction has passed. "Not with balls like that," she mutters from where her head is resting on the floor. "But if you do, Adam, hire him for something, okay?"

"Official band doctor?" I suggest with a grin.

He shakes his head. "Naw. I like to cut. You guys don't have enough emergency surgeries and stabbings to satisfy me."

"She's ready to push," Sam announces, snapping off a glove. Mac still has her head on the floor and her mom has checked things out while we were having the resident drama. Kade snorts at Sam. "Thanks for helping out," he says mildly.

It takes all three of us to get Mac back in the bed, and Kade expertly reconfigures the bed to the birthing position, as he calls the nurses. "Mrs. Lawson-Heartley is ready to deliver her daughter," he says pleasantly, and a nurse arrives, quickly preparing a tray of instruments.

"I need to push," Mac says urgently. "Oh god, I have to..."

"Okay, let's just make sure we're a hundred percent ready," Kade says mildly. Now it's Sam's turn to snort. "Okay, your mom knows her stuff, you are good to go, it seems. Sam, can you show Adam how to hold Mac's legs? I assume we want to go that way, instead of stirrups?"

"Yes," Mac and Sam say together. I'm just ...dazed at this point. Mac's pain put me on the floor, too, and I feel like I'm still there. But Sam shows me how to hold Mac's legs, and being right in her line of sight, I sharpen up.

"This is it, Shorty." I rub her knee gently. "We're finally going to get to meet our girl."

"I need to push," she cries to me.

"I know, baby, I know." I feel so fucking helpless.

"Yes, you will, with next contraction, okay?" Kade soothes. "Here we go," he says, feeling her stomach harden. "Push, Mac. One, two, three..."

Over and over, he counts with each contraction, just like I used to count her through her PTSD episodes.

Mac pushing out our daughter is the most crazy and most miraculous thing I've ever seen. I think Sam was lying when she said it was less painful, because Mac screams more, but Sam assures me it's more of a primal thing than a pain thing—that Mac is summoning her strength.

When Kade says, "Adam, look here, man. You can see your daughter's head," I'm blown away by the whole situation. It really finally hits me. Mac is pushing out a person—a baby we created. That's my daughter right there, on the brink of being born, and her momma-the fiercest person I've ever known, has fought for so long for this moment, and now she's using all her strength to deliver our baby girl into this world.

It's a miracle.

I finally see the beauty.

I can't stop crying, and I can't praying.

Thank you. Thank you for everything. For our daughter. Let me be worthy. Help me to be a good father.

Mac is amazing. She gives it her all and she delivers our daughter with about twenty-five minutes of pushing. Our baby is a little gory but the most amazing thing I've ever seen, as Kade expertly flips her over, and clears her mouth before gently placing her on Mac's chest. We're both crying, as our daughter lets out her first wail.

"Oh my god, Adam, look at her!"

"Shortcake...she's really here. I can't fucking believe it."

My hands are shaking as I touch my daughter for the first time, but Mac's hands are sure, roaming over her head, her back. Our baby blinks her hazel eyes and we both laugh and cry a little.

Kade shows me how to cut the cord, and I watch my wife talking to our daughter. "Hey, Baby Girl. I'm your momma. I love you so much. I can't wait for your daddy to hold you."

"Adam," Ashlynn's voice is a little anxious from the other room.

"She's here. She's beautiful," I call. "Give us a couple of minutes, okay?" I murmur. "Mac is still getting worked on."

"Of course...but are you taking pictures?"

"Oh shit," I gulp, and pull out my phone for the baby's weighing, and first bath and stuff.

I'm so torn. I want to be with my daughter, I want to be with Mac across the room. Mac's eyes meet mine. "It's okay," she mouths. "I'm okay."

"Mac is doing great, Adam. All good, man. No worries," Kade assures me with a solemn nod.

When the nurse puts my daughter into my arms and she looks up at me with eyes, just like Mac's but brand new, I know God, for the very first time.

"Hi, Beautiful. I'm your Daddy. I've been dreaming about you for a long, long time. I promise, I'm going help you make all your dreams come true."

I lower our precious girl into Mac's waiting arms and put mine around them both.

"That is one cute baby girl," Kade says as he checks Mac's IV and blood pressure cuff. "Does she have a name?"

Mac squints at him. "Of course, but you have to wait to find out with the rest of SCIC."

"They are on their way," Leed sing-songs from the other room. "Some more angry than others that we ditched them."

"They'll get over it," I murmur as I pull the cap off our daughter to look at her hair again. Reddish, somewhere between the warm blond family where Mac and I hover  and the darker auburn that obviously runs from Mac's family. It's crazy, how much she looks like Mac.

Mac looks up at her own mother. "Can I try to feed her?" she asks.

Sam smiles. "She's your baby. Of course you can."

I look at Kade. "Should Mac...rest first or something?"

He checks the blood pressure machine. "Not necessarily. She's stable, the baby is stable. How do you feel, MacKenna?"

Mac beams. "Great. Like the best performance high ever."

Kade smiles. "Then go with your instincts. Nursing right after birth is really the best thing for both you and the baby. It will help your uterus contract and help the baby organize and bond."

"Hey, that sounds like my line," Sam winks at Kade.

"Not all doctors are cretins," he smiles back. "I'll be back in a few minutes, okay? I need to call Dr. Michaelson and write the chart notes. When I come back to check on Mac, we'll talk a little about what to expect in the next day."

"Thanks so much. I...can't even..." I give Kade a back-thumping hug.

He lets his Doc-persona slip and hugs me back, offering, "That's a fucking beautiful family you got there, man." He kisses Mac on the top of the head and wishes her warm congratulations, too.

"My absolute pleasure to deliver your daughter" he summarizes, and nods at Mac's mom on the way out.

"Thanks for your help," he tells her. "Never delivered a natural childbirth before. I was freaking out, until you got here." I laugh. If he was freaking out, you would never have known it. Dr. Call-Me-Kade has ice in his veins when it comes to this doctoring stuff. But we already knew that, from what happened with Bodie and Arabella back last year. He strolls out, whistling.

"I think I like him," Sam says, with a small frown.

"Kade's a keeper," Mac replies and I snort. Not sure Marley thinks so, but now is not the time to get into that.

Mac doesn't seem to have any problem tucking the baby to her breast and the baby doesn't seem to have any problem knowing what to do. She stares up at MacKenna intently for a minute or so, before closing her eyes, her tiny mouth continuing to draw.

"Can we come in now?" Leed whines.

Mac smiles at me and bats those gorgeous fair eyelashes. She looks like a glorious, benevolent angel, as she feeds our baby.

"Sure," I say, knowing that Leed is going to be just as hands-on as an Uncle as he is as a dad, and he and Mac have weird boundaries, or lack there-of, anyway.

Ash and Leed creep gingerly to the side of the bed, their faces bright. Leed kisses Mac on the head as he cups the baby's downy skull and her eyes pop open.

"Wow," he swallows heavily. "She looks just like you, Macaroni."

"She and the Cub have the same eyes." Ash says softly. It's true. Leed and Mac have the same hazel eyes, and their children's are the same. Ash smiles her beautiful radiant smile at Mac. "She's amazing. Just...the sweetest baby I have ever seen."

"She's sugar," Mac agrees, and then a twinkle comes into her eyes, "And the Cub is all spice."

"Sugar and Spice," Leed repeats and he and Mac fist bump.

"Are we ever going to call these kids by their actual names?" I wink at Ash, knowing how Leed feels about his kid's name.

"Maybe her," Leed caresses her head again, "But Tamara saddled my son with a burden, when it comes to names. I can't believe she named him—"

Our daughter must have been falling asleep, because she startles for the first time and lets out a tiny cry of surprise, and we all giggle at her. Leed makes weird snickery noises and her unfocused gaze goes to his direction.

"Gimme," he says and Mac hands her over without hesitation. Ash latches onto his arm, and their bright heads bend over the baby, cooing together over her. Mac watches them a little wistfully, and I know what she's thinking. She's sad for Ash. The whole, always the bridesmaid, never the bride kind of thing. But I don't think Ashlynn is sad about all her friends having babies and she being at a different point in her life. I think Ash is more than okay with her newly emerging independence.

Mac wiggles in the bed, wincing a little.

"Okay?" I ask her immediately.

"Way better than okay," she assures me. She pats the bed. "Just making room for you."

I slip beside her. "Brother?" she asks Leed sweetly.

"Yeah, yeah, you'll get your baby back in a minute," he teases her, kissing his niece tenderly on her head. "Damn. It's the same way I felt with the Cub. Like she's mine, too."

Ashlynn reaches up to stroke Leed's longish locks. "This one does have your coloring," she teases him. It's true, I think our daughter will be more of a red-head like Leed than me or Mac.  The Cub has dark hair, but he does have Leed's light eyes and he looks exactly like Leed, just...butterscotched like Bodie, as Mac likes to say.

"Clearly the superior Lawson genetics are at work in your daughter's looks, Adam." Leed grins at me. "Hopefully, she got your temperament. If not, I pity you brother. Trying to keep a mini-Macaroni alive will likely put you under at your age..."

"I'll soldier through," declining to remind him his three years older than me. He would just tell me my arteries are twice his age.

He tears up as he looks down at his sister. "You're somebody's momma now, Macaroni!" He wails in his dramatic, goofy way, just to get her to laugh. She does and reaches out to squeeze Leed's arm .

Yeah, I think I'm going to spend my life fighting with a sappy Lion for my pride of women. It's all good. There can never be too much love.

Leed puts our daughter gently into Mac's arms, this time facing my direction, so Mac can try to feed her a little more.

Ash offers to go get us a late breakfast/early lunch, and Leed, always loathe to be out of Ashlynn's presence even though he doesn't even realize it, moves to go with her. Everyone leaves us then, and for the first time we are a family of three.

Mac and I stare at each other, then at our daughter, together. This feels right. Just how we were meant to be. Like the feelings we kept inside for so long came to life despite us and have now finally blossomed into this...miracle, smacking her perfect pink lips in Mac's arms.

"Crazy love," Mac whispers as she examines tiny fingers.

"So fucking crazy," I agree, putting my arms around my world.

Almost done folks. We have to reveal the baby name, I want to see the rest of SCIC react to the baby, and then maybe a quick glimpse of Madam and Babycakes living the sweet life! One chapter left maybe? Who am I kidding...probably two....