Chapter 13: Panic Attack

Chapter 13

I started laughing uncontrollably until I couldn't catch my wits, "No, just no." I giggled at his response. I felt like I couldn't breathe at Thane's oddity of a joke.

"No?" He asked incredulous. "Emery I'm telling you the truth, I swear to the Moon Goddess." He said unsmiling with a solemn look.

"Stooop!" I said clutching my stomach in a fit of giggles.

He walked towards me in one long stride and grasped my face with a grim look, "Do I look like I'm joking with you?"

His expression sobered me up but out of all the things I learnt and saw today, this was by far the most ridiculous thing I heard but maybe not the most impossible. "You aren't funny Thane, if you were a comedian you would've sucked." I clarified.

"Emery, I've told you my history and shown you what I am, how could you not believe me?" He asked exasperated.

I looked at him as if he grew two heads, "Thane you just said you're a werewolf so excuse me if I live in the reality side of the world."

"Tell me one thing?" He asked releasing my face.

I rolled my eyes at him, "What?"

"Tell me what you think a werewolf is?" He looked at with a poker face.

With a skeptical look I retaliated with my little knowledge on the supernatural, "Well... from the zero werewolf books I've read, a werewolf is like a hybrid human wolf, animalistic thing."

"Animalistic thing?" He questioned amused.

"Yeah like isn't it a human who shifts into a-" And I stopped mid sentence as a lightning struck me.

"Go on, continue." He nudged.

"How?"

"How?" He asked bewildered. "How is it possible? That means you finally believe me?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself. Just tell me if you're real."

He lifted my hand gently and placed it on his chest, "I'm as real as I can get Emery, I showed you what I am...a werewolf."

My hand began to shake in his grasp and I felt like my entire world was falling apart. All that I ever thought were fairy tales in this world was all a lie?

"Emery are you okay?" Thane asked when I hadn't said a word. But I suddenly felt anxious.

My hand shook uncontrollably and I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs... I was having a panic attack. I fell to the ground on my knees as Thane followed me to the floor.

"Sweetheart you need to breathe." Thane looked absolutely terrified but I didn't have it in me to speak, "Baby look at me and focus on my voice, breath. In and out, deep breaths. Relax I'm right here." He tried calming me down as he pulled me to him on his lap.

"Breathe. Listen to my voice, slowly breathe in and out, in and out." I vaguely heard him.

His scent brought a sense of harmony to me and feeling his heartbeat through his shirt worked. His scent calmed me down and I took a much needed long breath in and calmed my racing heart.

Suddenly the door swung open, breaking the lock, and Dr. Adler from the infirmary walked in.

"Alpha, Luna." He greeted us as he rushed to our sides.

"Adler, she started to shake when I told her what we are, she couldn't breathe, her face went pale and she fell to the floor." Thane recapped by symptoms.

Adler checked my heart rate, blood pressure and pulse before he drew blood from my finger to test my blood sugar.

"Is she alright?" Thane asked him panicked.

"Her blood pressure is quite high but I think it was the initial shock of finding out what you are that gave her a panic attack. With a good rest she should be just fine." Adler offered me a gentle smile and left but not before saying, "Don't stress her out too much Alpha."

With a sigh of relief, Thane pulled me into his arms and buried his face in the crook of my neck. "Oh, thank the Moon Goddess you're alright."

I wrapped my arms around Thane and sniffed in his woodsy sent which instantly calmed me down. The effect this guy had on me is unnerving.

"Come on, I think that's enough for today." Thane said as he pulled me up and swooped me off my feet as he carried me out the door bridal style.

"No I want- I need to hear more." I argued but he gave me a serious look.

"I said that's enough for today." He said in a final tone.

As we began walking up the stairs the silence was discomforting, "You know I can walk right?"

"And I can allow you to, but my wolf needs you right now after what just happened." He replied.

"Your wolf?" I questioned.

He looked me in my eyes and I can still feel the fright I held just moments ago in his office, "I will tell you, but right now sweetheart I need you to be safe and to rest."

I stayed quiet after that as I had an overwhelming sense of belonging right there in his arms and I didn't know what to say to him.

Thane walked to his room and placed me on his bed with a lingering kiss on my forehead. It sent electricity shocks through my body. "Rest." Thane whispered in my ear.

"I'll be right outside." He said before he left.

I did something unlike me, "Wait Thane." I called back.

He turned back to me on high alert, "Is everything alright?"

"Stay, don't leave me alone...please?" I asked the question I thought I never would as I moved around in the bed and left a place for him.

"Emery you need to rest right now." He argued.

"No what I need right now is to not be alone. Please Thane?" I pleaded.

His eyes soften and without another word he strode over to the bed and laid down facing me.

We just laid there, staring each other in the eyes as we looked beyond each others' souls into our inner most self. Looking and searching for answers to help us cope with what we were feeling. This attraction I had to Thane was indescribable but so real that I wondered if I could do this. Could I actually be with him?

Be with a werewolf?

At that moment I knew two things, I couldn't leave Thane and I missed my family immensely.

As if reading my mind Thane asked, "Tell me about your family."

It was both a great distraction and something I can enjoy talking about. "There are my parents and I have a little sister named Avery. We've lived in Fairbairn forever. Dad actually met my mom there when he was on an exploration trip and he fell in love with her. After that they got married, bought a house and had me and Avery. Avery, she's fifteen, a bit bummed out that she couldn't take part in the ritual.

"Quite frankly my sister and you might actually get along quiet well. She loves the outdoors and she always believed the beast was much more than the stories, if she only had the chance to meet you." I smiled remembering my little sister's obsession with the ritual and all things supernatural.

"Seems like the wrong sister was chosen." Thane chuckled. "You miss them don't you?" He asked brushing a stray wisp of my hair out of my face.

"Yes, they were my everything and we all stuck together after Avery was diagnosed." I whispered as my heart ached not being able to be by my sister's side while she was struggling.

Thane placed his hand on my shoulder in a comforting gesture as if he could've felt my pain, "Diagnosed with what?" He quietly asked.

"When she turned fourteen she was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy." As I talked about my baby sister I felt a lump in throat and my eyes started to prickle with tears.

"Shhh, I'm sure everything's going to be fine. I know it Emery, your sister is going to live and grow to be a beautiful young woman who is going to find her human mate one day." He said sincerely looking into my eyes.

"Her surgery was supposed to be done in a few months. My parents and I worked everyday around the clock to help save up for her surgery. I just hope she knows I'm with her and I hope my parents are able to fund her surgery."

"Is that why you wanted to go back?" he asked.

"Mostly. I made it my obligation to help my sister until her last breathe."

"I'm sorry Emery but you can't go back. Who knows what will happen to my pack or you if the humans ever found us." He said with remorse.

I gave him a sad but understanding smile as I placed my hand in his, "I know. I understand now Thane." I assured him. "And I appreciate you framing this." I said grabbing the picture frame with my family's picture that I brought with me.

He gave me a shy smile, "I thought you'd appreciate it, but you didn't need to hide it. It's your people who said you weren't allowed to have any memorabilia on you for the ritual. My pack only requested for electronics to be banned."

"Thank you though, I feel as if I have them watching over me." Fond memories with my family filled my mind and it couldn't help but bring a smile on my face.

"Can I ask you something?" He suddenly asked.

"Yeah?"

"Is it because of your sister's condition that you chose to become a doctor?" He asked with interest.

"Yes, after she was diagnosed I made an oath to her that I will help her. I know it's very far fetched but I felt as if I could somehow be apart of helping her, I could save her, because there isn't a cure for what she has. But maybe I could've changed that."

"I could tell you'll be a great Luna. Your passion and selflessness doesn't cease to amaze me Emery." Thane said proudly.

I blushed as his compliment but I had no idea what the role entailed.

"Have you ever gotten a panic attack before?" He asked with concern etched on his face.

Suddenly I was back in the hospital remembering all the sleepless nights and the anxious waiting, "Yeah, every time my sister was in the hospital and the wait became too long, I got panic attacks. It started the first night Avery was rushed into the hospital because she was extremely weak, I was so worried and my mind kept thinking about the worst case scenario and my lungs would feel as it was suddenly on fire and I felt suffocated."

In a matter of a heartbeat I was wrapped in Thane's arms and as much as I wanted to fight him... I didn't have in me and I didn't want to leave his warm embrace.

It was like a safety blanket protecting me from the world.

But I had one thing stuck in my mind. Wondering who would protect me from him.

"I never want that to happen to you again Emery, never. I promise you I will ensure nothing ever happens to you. Just please don't scare me like that again." He placed another kiss on my forehead and suddenly it was my new favorite thing.

"You know," I said looking up at his face, "no one has ever calmed me down so fast before. Normally it took my parents forever to get me to breath or even concentrate on them."

He looked like he won the lottery with that one, "Didn't I tell you we're soul mates?"

"Hmm, no I never heard you said that." I teased.

We feel into a comfortable silence and just laying there in Thane's arms never felt more peaceful. Honestly I never thought I would be in this position with him after how we met and the whole kidnapping thing. Which reminded me...

"Thane?" I asked to ensure he was still awake.

"Yeah sweet cheeks?" He answered.

"Since when did I give you permission to call me that?" I asked instead.

"Since I just said it." He replied egotistically.

"Okay sugarbear." I grinned evilly.

His eyes almost popped out of his head, "No way. No. Take it back."

"Take sweet cheeks back." I countered.

He begrudgingly agreed to our compromise, "Okay but I'm keeping sweetheart." He said in a serious tone.

I rolled my eyes at him but continued, "Right so what I was about to ask if I can ask some follow up questions?"

He looked a bit anxious but pulled us both up so we were sitting against the headboard and I unwillingly pulled out of his arms.

"Ask away." He said.

"Okay so are you all, umm, werewolves?" I felt silly saying that word but he did show me what he was, so how can I still deny it? Maybe I was trapped in some vivid dream that went on and on forever.

He gave me a little smile, "Yes my pack and I are all werewolves, except my mother." He answered.

"Right your mom was the last girl taken in the ritual." I said with realization.

"Yeah, so if you ever need someone to talk to, just ask her. She went through the same thing as you Emery, she would understand better than anyone else." He expressed.

"I'm not sure she would want to talk to me after the last time I spoke to her." I was ashamed of my actions and wished I had the chance to apologize to her and tell her how sorry I was.

"Don't worry, she's a forgiving person." He grinned. "So much I highly anticipate that you're already forgiven."

"Thank you. Maybe if you could ask her if I can talk to her sometime soon?" I asked.

"She would love that." He answered.

"Okay so next question. Would I ever become like you?"

He looked confused, "A werewolf?"

"Yeah, would I ever turn into a wolf?"

"Do you want to?" He gave me a strange look.

"Oh god no. I just have to ask."

He chuckled at my response, "Firstly it's not bad being a werewolf, it's powerful, and secondly you don't have a thing to worry about, you will remain a human."

"Okay, great I guess. So you told me that you brought me here because I'm your mate. That we are supposed to get married?" I asked for clarification.

"Well when werewolves are born, the Moon Goddess pairs us with a mate, our soul mate. You already know that story of why I have a human mate. So when we find each other the attraction will be so powerful that we will connect on a spiritual level, both our minds and body. Part of that process is going through a sort of wedding type ritual." He said.

"Oh please not another ritual." I sighed.

"Don't worry, you wouldn't be chained and the white dress you wear would be to symbolize our bond." He smiled.

"Why exactly do you need a mate?" I asked.

"Because as I told you before, I'm the alpha of the pack and in order to run this pack I need a Luna. The woman who would run the pack by my side as my equal and the mother of the pack. Without you Emery, this pack and I wouldn't be able to function. I would feel as if I was missing a huge part of my life and I wouldn't have the correct mind set to handle the pack and be the leader they need."

"So this is our destiny? We're meant to run this pack together?" I questioned.

"Yes, that and one more thing..." He trailed off, a bit apprehensive.

"What thing?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well you see the thing is," He laughed awkwardly, "youweremeanttohavemykids." He rushed out.

I looked at him confused, "I'm sorry I didn't quite get that."

He sighed, "We're meant to have kids to continue the alpha line." He explained slowly.

I almost lost my shit, "Excuse me... d-d-did you just say kids?" I asked in horror.

"Yeah we're expected to have our first child by next year." He shrugged like it no big deal.

"Are you hearing yourself right now?" I asked exasperated. "I'm only nineteen for crying out loud."

"Yeah and I'm nineteen too, but it's what's expected. Emery I understand what you must be thinking right now, trust me I do. But in the next twenty years our next alpha is going to have to be at least nineteen to take up alpha duties and find his mate."

"Thane do you realize how absurd this all is?" I said bordering anger.

"Emery I was in your position not long ago. Just imagine at age sixteen your parents telling you that you must find your mate and we're both expected to be popping babies out by a year after the ritual."

"I can't deal with this. I'm- no we're too young for this." I said shaking my head.

Thane pulled me to his chest and soothed me, "Hey, don't stress over this okay. We don't have to do anything you don't want and I don't want you stressed right now. We have all the time in the world to figure this out."

"Yeah, you're right, maybe we don't have to have kids right away." I said shrugging as I tried to convince myself.

"That's right and a werewolf pregnancy only takes five months so we have roughly seven months to figure everything out."

"Five months?" I asked in confusion.

"We grow at a faster pace and therefore the baby develops faster than a human child." He explained and I just nodded as I wanted to move away from this conversation.

Switching topics, I asked, "But how did you know it was me at the ritual? How did you know I was your mate?"

"I knew since the night I met you in the forest." He answered earnestly.

"You did?" I asked detaching myself from his arms.

"Well, not quite. At the age of sixteen werewolves can usually find their mate. It's from the way they smell, it's usually the most beautiful and powerful fragrance for your mate and when you finally meet them and look them in the eye, you instantly know. Your wolf calls out to his mate and it's like magic, suddenly your life is complete and the missing puzzle piece is found. But for me, I had to wait until now since the ritual prevented me from finding you before. But for me it was a little different. Since you're human, your scent wasn't as pronounce as a wolf's scent so I couldn't exactly tell."

"So how did you know it was me?" I asked curiously.

He looked at me sincerely, "Believe it or not, the moment I caught your human scent I knew there was something different about you and I knew you were the one. The eclipse on the night of the ritual somehow opens up my senses to an extreme so since it was close by I had an inkling of a feeling that you were my mate. That's why I told you that I would see you soon."

"The night of the ritual you were hundred percent sure I was your mate." I said rather than asked.

"Yeah, when I stepped into the forest my senses were driving me insane. Suddenly I was intoxicated with this beautiful aroma that drove me wild. When I saw you, my wolf instantly called out to you, but when you blacked out I basically lost my shit and carried you away from Fairbairn as quickly as possible."

I was confused, "So why didn't you tell me who you were before, when we first met?" I asked.

"Because I wasn't allowed to." He simply stated. "One of the elders also told me that she met my mate a few days before I met you." He revealed.

"There are human elders here?" I asked bewildered because as far as Thane told me, no humans were to set foot into Thane's town.

"No, she's the oldest wolf in our pack. She was actually my grandfather's sister, so sort of like my grandmother. She never found her mate so she lived as a human in your town where she communicates anything about the ritual from my people to the humans." He explained.

"It's possible for someone to not find their mate?" I asked shocked.

He nodded. "Believe it or not someone's mate could be dead or may live across the world. But it rarely happens." He has a relieved expression, "I honestly don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found you Emery. A wolf can drive himself to death if they don't find their mate." He said solemnly.

"Seems like I saved your ass." I sarcastically said to lighten the mood. If I was being honest, if I ever lost Thane now that I've met him, I didn't know what I would do with myself. To think I've only known him for a few days.

"I don't know if being stuck with you for life can be called 'saved'." He shrugged.

I was shocked at what he said. "Fine, if you don't want to be stuck with me, then I'm out." I said to rile him up.

He grabbed my hand gently as possessiveness was brought out from him, "I wouldn't want to be stuck with anyone else sweetheart."

I smirked at him, "Admit it, I'm your savior."

"My one and only." He admitted without a fight and a kiss behind my hand which he was holding.

"See told you so." I smiled.

Thane stayed silent for a moment contemplating something. "Can I ask you a question?" He quietly asked.

I looked at him apprehensively. "Sure, shoot."

"Were you and your boyfriend still together before the ritual?" He asked so silently that if I wasn't sitting next to him I wouldn't have heard.

"Maybe." I said with a smile as I saw jealousy eating at him.

He looked kind of angry, "I thought he wanted to implant a chip in your hand?" He asked incredulously.

"Doesn't mean I couldn't have gotten back with him."

"Emery, don't test me." He growled angrily.

I laughed at his expression, "No geez, we were just talking about being mates and having kids and you thought I had a boyfriend?"

"So you broke up with him?" He hesitantly asked.

"Yes, Jake and I were over since you met me that night."

"Good." He said simply looking relieved.

I knew I was going to kick myself for asking him this, "D-do you have a girlfriend?"

He looked at me amused and lovingly, "No. You're the only one Emery, the only girl for me."

I blushed at his revelation and couldn't help but feel a little relieved myself.

"What about that bimbo, Bailey's sister?" I asked sourly.

He laughed at my turmoil, "She's no one Emery. You're my mate and you're my girl. You're the only one I want." He said sincerely looking into my eyes.

Not wanting to get all touchy feely, I changed the topic again, "How did Dr. Adler get to us so fast when I had the panic attack, you didn't even call him?"

Thane tapped his forehead as if indicating the obvious.

"I'm sorry I don't get what you're trying to sell." I said after trying to decipher his action.

"We communicate telepathically through our wolves. It's like sending a message through our brain." He simply explained.

My jaw went slack as I looked at him partially impressed and shocked. "You communicate telepathically?"

"Sure do sweetheart. Don't worry you will be able to as well once we mate and I mark you." He explained.

"Mate? Mark? What are talking about?" I asked suspiciously.

He only grinned at me in reply, "I'll tell you another day."

I just nodded unsure as I went on, "What about your wolf? You mention it as if it's your alter ego."

"My wolf, it's a he not an 'it'. It's like a spirit that dwells inside me. He's sort of like my soul. He doesn't communicate with me or anything like that. It's basically like he's a presence inside of me that guides me when I'm a wolf. It's difficult to explain but it is what it is. Every werewolf has a wolf 'alter ego' if that's what you want to call it."

"Does he take over your control when you transform into a wolf or are you in control?"

"I'm in control." He said as he watched me curiously when I visibly relaxed at his answer, "I'm not going to hurt you when I shift Emery. I swear that I would never and my wolf knows that you're my mate so he wouldn't harm you either. But if I'm ever angry and you're too close...just walk a few feet away from me before I shift."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to accidentally hurt you." He rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

I nodded as I try to remember my other questions, "You said that we had a bond?"

He smiled, "Yes our mate bond. It's what we feel for each other. I know that you feel a pull towards me, almost like a magnet. That's what it is but for me it's more profound. I could smell you from a mile away and I could practically feel you whenever you're around. When you become apart of the pack officially, you would feel it too. We'd be able to feel each other's emotions, tell if the other is hurt, communicate through our mind and I'll be able to smell you even further away."

"That's kind of bizarre," I picked at the duvet as I tried to avoid his gaze.

"I suppose it is but you'll come to appreciate it," He paused and the quietly mumble, "I hope."

"Bailey said that you're the boss man, the Alpha? As the leader of the pack is that what you are referred to?"

He simply nodded with a smile, "Yes and you're my equal, the Luna. Lucas is the Beta which is the second in command and the Delta is Beau, the third in command and one of the greatest fighters we have, after me of course."

"You think very highly of yourself." I rolled my eyes.

"I'll show you my moves and then you can judge for yourself sweetheart." He winked.

Ignoring him I went on, "How does the other girls on the night of the ritual not remember you?"

"Well my ancestors knew that if there were hunters in town, the alpha couldn't be sent alone into Fairbairn. Therefore if other wolves were to go with Alpha then there might be a chance of one of the girls or a hunter seeing us so we needed to concoct something that we will be able to give anyone who sees us. My pack found this rare plant that when mixed with other substances, can cause a person to forget the last twenty four hours."

"That's incredible. I know some drugs can cause memory loss but I had no idea there was a plant." The doctor in me was reveling with this information but knowing that fact now wouldn't help since I'm stuck in Thane's wolf town.

"I'll show you it sometime, but it doesn't work on wolves. Just letting you know in case you try it on me." He grinned.

I shrugged, "You planted the idea in my head. Anyways years ago, like before we were born, there were hunters who went looking for the Beast. Those hunters showed up dead a week later. Can you explain that?"

I watched him carefully before he answered, "I think that happened when my grandfather was the alpha. I don't have the facts but I think that the hunters were caught up by rogues and my grandfather and some of the pack members went to save them. One of the hunters killed my grandfather but the rogues killed all the hunters before my pack could save them. Typically the pack would just bury the bodies but considering they killed my grandfather, the pack delivered the bodies back. I guess they did it as a means to instill fear into anyone else who dares to enter the forest."

"I didn't know that side of the story." I said with compassion, "I'm sorry about your grandfather."

"It's okay and we let the humans believe what they will. It keeps them away from the forest."

"What are rogues?" I asked as I pinpointed the word from his story.

"Rogues are the wolves that tried to attack you the first day you were here."

"You mean the wolves, like you?" I said accusingly.

"Not like me or my pack," He clarified. "Rogues are wolves that don't run in packs. They typically have no regard for rules and regulations. They kill who they wish to and they trespass on anyone's territory. They're despicable creatures. Some of them rather live alone outside of a pack then be under an Alpha. However there are the rare few that are made rogues because their family or pack died. But mostly the rogues are kicked out for doing something stupid or they runaway."

"They sound horrible." I wrinkled my nose.

"They are but I promise you they'll never make it into the pack again or anywhere near you." Thane vowed.

I smiled appreciatively at him, "Wow. So that's everything about a werewolf isn't it?"

"Yes I think your interrogation held every question possible." He smiled.

"Can you imagine, just a few days ago I had no idea that werewolves existed and now I'm mates with one?" I yawned sleepily.

"I know it's hard to get around and I know you hate me Emery. But if I could, I would take it all back, I would take back being a werewolf and practically kidnapping you, if it meant I could have you. If it meant you wouldn't hate me as much. I would take it all back." He repeated to me honestly.

"Thane I don't hate you." I shook my head at him as I lay down and my eyes closed.

"You don't? I don't expect you to forgive me or even show me an inch of respect after I dragged you into the mess that is my life and the ritual."

I opened my eyes and I looked at him with as much honesty as I could muster, "I don't hate you Thane. Everything happens for a reason and you and I being apart of the ritual means we were destined to be here. I may not feel as strongly as you do...but I feel something."

"You do?" He asked surprised.

Ignoring him I asked, "Just promise me something? Promise me there would be no more lies and absolutely no more secrets." I said drowsily as my eyes slipped back shut.

"I promise." He whispered as I fell into a deep slumber.

A/N

Hey everyone!

Emery finally knows! Thane revealed he's a werewolf yay!

I just wanted to let you all know I see you guys commenting and voting and reading and it warms my heart. I appreciate you all and to the ones who are commenting always makes me laugh or helps me improve the story grammatically :) I love reading your comments and I appreciate everyone of you for taking your time to read my little story :) You guys rock and the story is also at #62 in alpha all because of you guys!

Also here's the cast:

Emily Rudd as Emery Aiken

Andrew (Roo) Panes as Thane Blackwood

These are the two faces you saw in the trailer but of course you can image who ever you want :) Also if you haven't heard of Roo Panes yet, he's an incredible artist and I recommend his music to you :)

Song: Crywolf - Weight

Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!

If you did like the chapter then please consider:

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New Chapter: Tuesday (I'm going to start putting when I'm updating next here in the A/N)

Read on wolfies 🐺

-Shania. 🐾