37. State of Grace

So you were never a saint

And I've loved in shades of wrong

We learn to live with the pain

Mosaic broken hearts

But this love is brave and wild

Paige

Caitlin Clark

What's your ETA?

I should be there

around 3:30...

perfect, she gets out of class

at 2. You turned your location

off right?

yeah, she almost caught

me though , called me right

as i was about to board

fuck, how'd you play it off?

told her i was picking

up Gabbie's friend😂😂

🤔and she believed you?

she was on her way to class

late ofc

so she was rushing

didn't pay no mind to it

I hope you don't mind,

i brought someone along w

me.

Don't mind at all, as long as

it makes her happy.

Azzi should be at the

airport to scoop u, red honda, just

shoot her a text when you land

cool, getting on our next

flight now, txt when i land

—

"So that's it? you two decided being friends was the best thing for the both of you?" Azzi whispers across from me in the library as I try my best to focus on my homework before looking up at the curly haired girl through my glasses.

It's been a week since we've gotten back from our Europe trip, and I would like to say things have gotten back to normal but truly they just feel weird but I have to bite my tongue because at the end of the day, it was my decision. I haven't seen Jenna much just because we've been swamped in homework and classes and practice. I only really see her when we go home at night and that's a big maybe because she's usually sleeping by 9 o'clock.

Honestly, weird is the bad word to explain it I couldn't put a finger on what I felt or how I felt. I knew when I was on the court with Jenna things felt like us again, but once we leave the gym, it just feels like we've never been more separated.

I knew she was stressed. By the way she cramped her homework, was late to class, and barely got sleep. I heard the way she would talk to Cait over the phone, the way she mourned her, missed her so much I knew I had to do something about it so inviting Caitlin, and buying her a ticket for the weekend so she can see Jenna's first game official game back was definitely a must do.

if it wasn't me making her happy, then it had to be Caitlin...

" how many times do I have to explain this to you Az..."

" until you realize how stupid you two are, paige you literally just bought her best Friend a ticket here for the weekend so she could see her first game back from injury"

" it's not even that big of a deal —- you know, I don't really need this right now" i sigh putting my head into my hands, the last thing I needed to think about was Jenna what she was doing who she was hanging out with, my best bet. Is she figured things out with Blake but I haven't heard much from that, but I was too afraid to ask.

" well someone needs to knock you back in reality the more you push this girl away the more you're gonna hate it.."

" I'm not pushing her away"

" oh, and friendzoning her is definitely better?"

" we both agreed."

" no you said what you wanted and she didn't wanna fight with you."

" we both agreed..." I repeated again sternly, " I don't even understand why you're so mad at me. It's not like things are weird on the court. We haven't been better honestly, maybe us being friends, for the better of the team is good."

" we both know that's bullshit"

" I don't know what to tell you anymore!" I groan getting frustrated in my own mind, but I knew she was just trying to push me to the answers that I already knew that I just wouldn't to admit to myself.

" no offense paige, but what have you ever did anything for your own sake?"

" you know I'm not like that"

" you're 21 years old— you need to be selfish sometimes.."

" me and Jenna can't be a thing."

" are you telling me that or are you trying to convince yourself of that?"

"Az—"

"you love her."

"i don't."

"You d— Jenna!!"

oh great.

"Hey guys!" a preppy voice from behind me chuckles as I turn, I make eye contact with the beautiful green eyes. I've always grown to love.

" Well is it the hotshot? How are you?"

" good just got off physics. I am absolutely exhausted and I think my brain may be dead from all of the stuff I'm learning." she chuckles, gripping her backpack strap as she looks down at me, " you guys up to anything great on our day off?"

" just notes, you know the vibe.." I chuckle looking up at her, she was very natural today her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail and her glasses, perfectly on her face covering only a bit of her freckles that scattered around her nose, a loose uconn sweatshirt hung across her shoulder as familiar, grey sweatpants caught my eye, " seems like you are more than just a sweatshirt stealer." I smile looking down at the sweats.

Jenna, in my eyes, was the most captivating woman I had ever encountered even when she was dressed as bummy as she could be.

" these haven't fit you since we were 15 don't even get me started.." She smiles pointing at the sweats, her small attitude coming off in a flirty sense making my heart rate raise slightly, " well I'm gonna hit the hoops if you wanna join?" she raises her eyebrows towards me before looking towards Azzie..

" I am crammed with homework right now, but I'm sure paige would like to go with you!" Azzi smiles as I look at her with wide eyes.

What was she trying to do?

"i-um- i- once I finish this assignment, I can meet you there!" I nod pointing towards my computer as Jenna smirks.

" don't be late" she nudges me softly with her hip before walking away, as she exits the library i hit the side of Azzis head.

"Ow fuck!"

"You're an idiot!"

"Someone has to do it— plus you had to distract her some how from seeing that Caitlin is going to be here soon, i'm just helping!"

I groan rolling my eyes as I shut my laptop and shove it into my backpack, "i will get you back for this."

"No you'll be thanking me at your wedding, just remember to mention me in your speech!" Azzi winks making me shake my head.