Part Two - Chapter Six

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Jack

Canvased for voters.

Our county is so small and mountainous that most of the people who showed up to canvas were the actual candidates and their families. I was teamed up with Anne Schaefer, Gilpin County Assessor. She's held the office for 15 years, a veteran. We four-wheeled over dirt roads into the wilderness to meet the voters. Half the homes are rough log cabins.

Most people were not home. Others had bullet riddled "Do Not Trespass" signs. We left them alone. Talked to a handful. They were all going blue, except one older fellow who favors coal and made sure we understood that global warming is a "fairy tale" because it's all based on "models". We listened, nodded politely, and split.

Ceci

Coal, whale blubber, etc...

Jack

But I wish you were here for this.

We walked up to this cabin. Saw a spotted fawn in the trees. The fawn froze. We froze. Then it trotted straight up to us and nuzzled our legs for attention.

Ceci

Ticks?

I'm at a wedding party. Some kids that I like.

I want to bale from here. Is that the proper word? It's not bail is it?

Jack

Jack

Sorry, Driving.

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Jack

Morning, Ceci!

Ceci

👋👋👋👋

Ceci

The reader response (in Wattpad) is neat. I guess we have a good undercurrent for Part Two.

Maybe Ceci should be more sci-fi.

Jack

YES!

What is more sci-fi?

Can I be more Horror?

Ceci

I don't know, mystical or something.

Jack

Ooooooo yeah, maybe we dress you up in fish scales, dramatic mascara, and special underwear

Ceci

That's mystical??

Jack

Sure, of course, if the underwear magically creates arousal, dark thoughts, or the desire to wear a wizard's hat.

Ceci

I was thinking something completely different...

Jack

Like? (and does this mean we have to stop talking about your new special underwear?)

Ceci

Pretty much

LOL

Jack

Ok

I accept that, but I'm still going to think about it.

Ceci

I was thinking about talking about a favorite book. Franny and Zoey.

Or the time I stopped time.

Or my belief that my ancestors are always near to me and that they have powers.

Jack

Crap. I read Catcher, but not Franny and Zoey, but everything else sounds killer.

How did you stop time?

Ceci

No. I'm a Franny and Zoey lover.

That will have to wait. I've got a few cleaning projects happening.

I'll catch up later. Ok?

Jack

And ancestor powers also sounds dope.

Ceci

Yeah, it's good

Jack

Dope. Did I use that term correctly?

Ceci

Yes you did.

Jack

Yeah, going to Costco.

Later.

Saturday, August 18, 2018

Jack

Driving. Heading to county fairgrounds. Log splitting championship.

Jack

Did the prelim round. Quartered three logs in 29 seconds (29.72). Not bad. Now watching all the other log splitters to see if I was fast enough to qualify for finals.

After eleven dudes, I'm sitting in second place. One second behind the fastest guy.

Ceci

🏆🏆🏆🏆!!

Keep me updated!

Jack

Made it into the finals!

Jack

Damn! Had a wet log. So close. Finished in third place. Again.

Ceci

That's great!!!!

Sorry you had the disadvantage!

Jack

Yeah, but I always feel much better when I see the picture. Do you see these dudes? They're frickin giants!

Ceci

Ah yeah...

Jack

Check this out, third place for four years straight. It's a record.

So, shit! I might even have a beer. How about you?

Ceci

I like to stir up trouble.

Ask which one of them swapped out your log for a wet one?

I am going out later as a matter of fact. Going to take a disco nap right now.

Jack

Sweet dreams...

Monday, August 20, 2018

[Note: Ceci plays a show at Jack White's Record Company, Third Man Records.]

Jack

Rock on, Ceci!!

Ceci

I did it!!

Jack

Hell Yes you did!!

Saw a picture of your show at the record company. Third Man. Was it cool?

Ceci

Yeah, it went really good. I pretty much loved the whole night. My buddies run the place and everyone was really nice to us.

Jack

Nice like pie! Sounds like a command performance.

Did they have good snacks (I'm starving)?

Sorry at Court. Just got a permanent restraining order for Ruby. Ex-boyfriend. Stalking. Again.

At the Court house entrance, security seized Ruby's stethoscope. Said she might use it "to listen through the walls."

But now that I'm free. I want to hear all about your show.

Ceci

How's your daughter? Jeeze this has been going on for years now, right?

Jack

Three stalking cases. Three convictions. Three violations of his probation by re-contacting her. He's in jail for a while and we extracted a signed stipulation that he would agree to a lifetime restraining order. We gave him every break, treatment, probation, and more, but this time, with Ruby's consent, I TKO'd that dude.

Jack

Weren't you going to brag about your show? Sanity through beating on stuff in public?

Ceci

No bragging. I'm fussy, but I know it was good. Good enough for playing with them for the first time in 3 or 4 years. It was fun too. I think Jeff the guitarist is going to line up some shows in Spain. His girl friend is from there.

Jack

SPAIN!! When? I wanna go tonight!

Sangria!

Forced naps in the middle of the day!!

Frickin parrots flying down the streets!

Torture devices!

Do you want to hear my alternate evil master plan?

Ceci

Sure

Jack

We win a Watty. We parlay that into tickets to New York City for WATTCON. We burn that place to the ground. Crash shows, galleries, and killer restaurants. Snag a billion dollar contract.

Buy Peachy Momma and her son a brand new pair of shoes.

Ceci

That is quite a master plan.

[⭐Vote for the Wattys and brand new shoes for everyone!!]

Photos 1-3: Taken and owned by the authors, 2018.