Chapter Twenty-Nine

She says,

I'm done with all this silence

Russian roulette romances

One slip, oh I could light it

Just tell me this is lifeless

I need you to hate me

Baby in the worst way oh

I need you to hate me

Say it to my face, i'll go

Chapter 29 - Into the Cold

Nephele's POV

"Hello Bestie." Her voice wasn't almost as enthusiastic, probably because she was sent to come and retrieve me and maybe didn't want to but was made to because Lucifer is being a dick. I will be having a word with her about this later; preferably after I had gotten away.

"Has anyone told you not to harm another's beloved?" It was my non-biological-brother speaking this time, his voice deep and arms concealing two blades. I smile at him, briefly before facing Lilith again.

"Let her go Lilith, you are after me after all." I say, bargaining was going to save Adriane's life right now.

"No." I laugh at her, watching her every move as I wait for her to attack.

"Funny." I state and watch my brother give me a little finger movement. He holds one finger up. I look at him for a second, just a second and notice that he is mouthing something at me. Knowing what that meant I stepped back and let him go.

I watched him pounce at Lilith, her face a wide range of emotions but none of them surprise. He was buying me time, and I will have to take that if I were to escape once more. I knew how I could get out of here. I had a car on the beach a few kilometres away.

I didn't pay for these things. I simply window shopped and what I wanted to happen, simply happened.

I just had to get to the car, five kilometres away and Blu and I would be free. It was stupid of me not to park the car closer but I couldn't get into the gated community.

I look at the balcony behind me, the doors closed and sheer curtains in the way. It was still a pathway through to the ocean when necessary though, since the door was closed.

I didn't have time to think anything through properly, Lilith would likely win that fight. She was the General of the Underworld for a reason.

I flick my hands up, stretched my tendons and enforcing a large amount of force onto the glass mentally, closing my eyes and praying that Nyx's powers will guide me to know what to do.

This thing had just become a mess. I was now a Goddess who wasn't a titled Goddess because I was dead. Someone needed to sort their shit out, and that was me. But I didn't have the time right now to consider sorting my shit out.

I imagine the glass shattering and start running to the two-glass paned door only a mere five metres. Hearing the glass shatter was somewhat satisfying, watching my stiletto step through the shards as I ran becoming even more satisfying as I had never run successfully in heels before. I grind my teeth and hold the hilt of my umbrella, sliding it behind my shoulder blades so that it disappears from the visual earthly realm; something that Lilith had shown me not a week ago with her own weapons and something that I had just learnt to do not thirty minutes ago. I push through the broken door and jump onto the metre-high balustrade, leaping off the edge with some certainty as I hear a scream erupt from behind me. I feel the stone balustrade leave contact with the sole of my foot as I push all my power I can muster in my weak form – or weak compared to Lucifer or Lilith – and jump.

I let the air around me slow me down, feeling the air resistance on my body grow as I throw my arms up in some random manner that felt natural to me. I was going by instinct; something that I shouldn't heavily rely on but did in this current moment. Turned out my instinct was right.

Hands gliding gracefully through the air, and coat gone, I land on the wet concrete of the driveway to my brothers' mansion. I kick off both my shoes as I begin to run again. There was no point in me running with the shoes as I had only just learnt to run in them and running for five kilometres to the safety of a beach didn't seem good in heels.

I let the rain soak through my once dry clothing and push through the metal sidewalk gate that opened as a personal gate onto the side streets. I look back briefly whilst beginning on pushing past the ground once more, only seeing Lilith standing on the balcony but making no move to jump from the Balustrade making me hesitant. Why wasn't she following me?

I yelp as I am pushed down onto the ground by a heavy wave of air onto my back. I screech, the weight of this air being more than normal. I find myself lying under a different Devil, and understand why it wasn't air and was heavy. I hold my breath and look at Lucifer, noting that the rain had stopped going into my eyes since his face now covered mine. He covered me, his arms on either side of my head and his legs preventing mine from moving.

He was wearing the same clothes as earlier, and still had the hotter appearance. Not that that was a bad thing. I liked him either way, I just think that the black hair suited him better.

"You've got to be kidding me." I whisper breathlessly, both out of annoyance and admiration.

He was hotter. If that was a thing. Dark black hair framed his face instead of the ashen blonde hair. Same face though. Except his eyes were blood red and it looked as though there was nothing left in them except rage and revenge. It was both hot and extremely frightening.

I didn't think his change in appearance was real for this realm as well. I thought it was just in my head. Until now.

Except I couldn't let him get the better of me this time.

I lay silent for a few seconds watching his every move, the single movement of both of his eyes as they looked over my decorated face, his hand on my temple as he brushed some mud from my forehead.

Observing my opponent one more time – that is what I was doing. I had no idea how I could take this Demon on even if I was of equal strength.

I knew that I had certain abilities now; but would I be able to beat him? I knew for certain that I had the ability to manipulate the cold, ice and a certain type of blue force. This force was mysterious still, but there was something guiding me whilst using those powers. I had to trust that force. I also knew that Nyx did have the great advantage over Psychokinesis and Erebokinesis. Both of those involved the manipulation of the Mind and Darkness. Which, admittedly did sound really fun. But that didn't matter now of course because I don't know how to manipulate the mind. I did roughly know how to manipulate the darkness if it was the same as manipulate the air and objects as I have been able to do.

Those two abilities did mean that I could manipulate Lucifer's cognitive, emotional and physical states though – if I knew how to use them. Which I don't so they aren't useful.

I close my eyes briefly coming up with a minute plan, knowing this is going to be rough but in all honesty, I do not want to see him now.

I don't want to see him for some time.

His left leg was right beside my right knee. His face was downcast at me, and I noticed his eyes slightly glazed over as if he were in a daze. He was not speaking though. He maintained his silence. I smiled sweetly at him, planning my move.

I hook my right knee over his left ankle, finding some Goddess-like strength somewhere within me to spin around him, grabbing a hold of his knee with my right around and pulling, twisting my own body in the process to try and release me from death's grip. Pulling hard, I forced his left knee to unlock due to the force as I let go, sliding onto both my knees as I grabbed him by surprise. I don't hear him say anything as I rise to my own feet instantly, and face him. I don't hear from him and turn slowly, noting the hair on the back of my neck raising slightly. I know what that meant, it meant he was going to attack, or was planning to.

I turned my head first, letting my hair fall naturally across my left shoulder. It was done for a purpose of course, as was everything I did from this moment on. I couldn't trust the devil.

I couldn't trust anyone for a little while.

I could see him standing, facing me, from the corner of my eye. I noticed the bright red glow in his eye, and I noticed the glint in his smile as he starred down at me like the devil waiting to eat someone. Literally.

With my hidden hand as I turned in conjured the blue force by flexing my fingers, noticing that the power within my palm was growing a lot bigger than it had previously when I used my powers. This was different than before.

I felt stronger.

I twist rapidly towards Lucifer who stood two metres away from me at best, noting that was positioned in such a stance that portrayed he was ready for fighting. He had never fought me back before. He had always let me go; always let me fight him.

I swallowed any second-hand anxiety that formed within that precise moment, knowing that whatever he was going to do to me would hurt. If he did anything of course; I doubt he could physically do anything to me anyway. He had said something about that before too.

As I was twisting on the ball of my foot I send a parade of flaming ball of blue and black – meaning I was combing manipulations at this point – fire to him at a high speed, aiming to catch him off guard. Except he was expecting it.

He defending himself with the wave of a hand and in retaliation sent the earth below my feet crumbling and rising randomly. I forgot he was the God of the Underworld for a second or two there, meaning he had the ability to command and use the Earth as he pleased, regardless of what terrain or realm he was in apparently.

I yelp as my ankle twists violently, possibly causing damage but that didn't matter in the moment. The retaliation was just because he needed to keep me distracted though.

I clench my core muscles to try and gain control, raising both my hands to the sides of my head and twirl my hands inwards, unleashing multiple waves of pure blue ice onto Lucifer. I side swiped both of my hands and sent a dark wall of black aura towards him instantly, not leaving any time for him to prepare anything else.

This wasn't me, I didn't do this –

Ice surrounds my body once more and although I know that this was a protective measure that happened whenever I felt threatened. I let the darkness consume me, it mixing with the icy blue leaving the air around me crisp and pretty mix of colours.

I block out the voices in my head, knowing I had to get away before I did something bad.

I grit my teeth as I straighten my legs and run into the covers of the trees, noticing Lucifer easily recover from the blows I delivered seconds prior. He was far to strong for this, I could escape. It was no use.

No, there was use. This was freedom. I had to fight for my freedom. I wasn't going down with a fight.

I ignore the throbbing desolate pain in the ankle joint, almost screaming as it becomes worse with every step but persisting as adrenaline is pumped into my bloodstream. I dodge behind trees, making it harder for him to catch me, noting that the ending of this forest is getting closer. This was where the cliff was. I was trapped.

Sticks and leaves break below my feet as I sprint to the edge, knowing that there was no use anymore but persisting because I wanted to believe there was a use to this. I had to have hope. It may be illogical and irrational, but it was the only way for me to survive.

So I ran. I will make it, I will turn to the right to run along the cliff line so I could get to the car, despite the sounds of Lucifer on my right. I had to make it.

I reach the opening of the forest, dark oak trees pulling away from my vision and their leaves removing themselves as my protection from the rain. It was still pouring, tiny droplets of water hailing down on my as the heavens even cried for my capture.

I slow down as I approach the end of the sticks and leaf pathway that lines the forest lightly covering the mouldy coloured grass that could barely grow. I let my feet sink into the soft dirt near the edge of the cliff, noting the halt of footsteps behind me.

"Nephele, give up." His voice was soft, sweet almost. "I can take you home and I can help-"

"No! Lucifer I want the truth. I want the truth this time and all you do is share lies. All you do is tell me that everything is fine and that everything is not fucked up. Guess fucking what? Everything is fucked up. You lied to me Lucifer! You knew who I was the moment I stepped into the castle. You knew who Freyja was. You knew who my mother was. You knew who my father is. You know who I am and I don't even know that." I turn to face him, eyes watering as I look at him in the eyes.

He only stood a metre away, but the gap between us felt larger than that.

"My whole life I have been lied to. Everything I know, every friend I have made, every family member I have known. Everything I know, everything I am, is a lie. I am a carefully constructed piece of paper that is folded so many times that I don't know what is side of the paper I am on; the truth or the lie. I don't know why, or what reason you have, but I am not a piece of paper which you can fold and unfold and craft into your perfect little princess. I am sick of this. I am done with everything Luci. I am done with this," I point between us, not really meaning my words but the words still having an emphasis of power. "I am done with this carefully crafted lie that is called my life; the carefully crafted lie that is now becoming undone in my own hands. I am not something you can just hide away in a book hoping it'll be forgotten. I need to know the truth." I break down; tears falling from my eyes and onto my cheeks. The tears blended peacefully with the rain.

I don't know how to explain anything. I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be everything I aspired to be; strong and emotionless so I couldn't get hurt. But that was impossible. I was exhausted. My plan was falling apart, I had no resources other than being able to steal things from stores with some words and some ice magic stuff. I couldn't do this; regardless of what I wanted to do. Being emotionless right now as a Goddess was said to be hard. Being emotionless as a human must be impossible then. I take a dangerous step back and lock eyes with Lucifer, wiping my tears from my eyes as I step back another step. I feel the edge of the cliff behind me as I sob, mouth open and hand covering my cheeks and lips.

"Why do you continue to lie to me Luci?" I whisper, looking at him with such a sadness that I can see his own glamour fall slightly. "I can't stand it anymore."

I step off the edge with ease, letting the air swallow my body as I fall from the edge of the earth and plummet towards the ocean below.

I wasn't aiming to die. I wasn't wanting to kill myself from jumping off the edge. I was just escaping the reality of this situation. I wasn't afraid of the ocean, I could swim and did go cliff jumping from a point near here a few months ago at my brothers party. Rationally I would be fine as there was a beach a few hundred metres away.

That was rational.

But, I wasn't thinking rationally when I jumped.

I had closed my eyes and let the air surround my body, hair flying up around my face as I fall to the waves and swell below. I let all the pent-up anger leave my mind, trying not to care about anything but my survival and escape in this moment.

There was the possibility that I could escape. I did want to go back to the castle and try to get answers that way. I wanted to go ask Lucifer because that is what my brother had said to do. But I knew that I couldn't let him win that easily. I wasn't just some toy. I wasn't a piece of paper. I was a person, a being, and I needed to be his equal. Nothing more, nothing less.

I bite my lip, waiting for the cool of the ocean to touch my skin and soak away my frozen tears, knowing that the impact won't hurt that much as I was stronger than the average human, yet weaker than the average god.

I wasn't scared of the water. I had to chant that over and over again as I did shiver from either the cold or the fear.

Instead of feeling the water touch me first like I had expected, I found a warm body on mine as we fell. His arms wrapped tightly around my back, one lacing up my neck and the other around my waist. Lucifer inserts a powerful leg between mine and wraps that leg around my right one, keeping me attached to him completely. I look at him with wide eyes, noticing his own are shiny with nothing but heartbreak and sadness as he holds my neck, tucking me into his shoulder as we touch the water and disappear through a glamour.

"I lost you once amare. I won't lose you again." He whispers in my ear as we continue to fall from the ocean, waves crashing above as gravity continues to send us into another realm. "No more lies." It was only a whisper, but I believed him.

I smile, opening my eyes and looking at him closely. I unwrap my leg from his quickly. raising my hand as we fall to cup his cheek softly.

"You can't win be back that easily Luci. I have one more thing I need to do." My brother has given me a hint towards where my father was; and I when he had moved the letters to a place worse than hell, I knew what he has meant.

I knew where I needed to go.

I push at his chest once, feeling the coolness of the blue ice leave my finger tips and enter his body. He freezes above me, looking at me in alarm and raising his eyebrows. I feel him hold me tighter, try and hold onto me as well continued to fall.

I couldn't let him win that easily.

I see a light blue feathered Phoenix close to my right and smile, looking at the squeaking mess Blu was. She was still my bird though, and she was coming with me.

"I will meet you there when the time is right." Saying quietly, I imagine the ocean only a few metres below me now a portal back to Hell, except a different area of Hell.

"Where is there, you can't-" I smile and press my finger to his lips, a tear rolling down the side of my temple as I do.

"You know Lucifer." I give him a pitiful glance before I push him away with all the power I could; icing the tips of my fingers in the process. The look on his face did made my heart burn a little increment, but I shouldn't let it phase me considering he caused this mess himself. Trying to dwindle me down till I was nothing but a little girl who had to listen to your command wasn't going to work anymore.

I pushed him away one last time because I deserved the freedom I wanted.

I pushed him away, and watched him spiral into the ocean as I entered the whirling pool of purple and gold light that would lead me to a deep and dark place, because I wanted the guaranteed truth from him; not just some lies to get me back.

I was the creator of my own story this time.

I was in control.

So I let myself dive straight in Tartarus, with a clear conscious and a blue bird by my side, ready for answers.

This has been a mess. I have hated the course of this book for the past seven chapters and I dont know how to recover it!!! I feel like she is a mess; BUT HONESTLY THAT IS HOW I WOULD BE IF I WAS IN HER SITUATION SO WHY DOES THE WRITING FEEL SO BAD.

This is confusing. Anyway please excuse the bad writing and the bad emotion handling of Nephele. I feel like she should be feeling like this, and she should be overwhelmed and emotionally a wreck.

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