51. Wait For Me

I was fighting back tears during the drive to the airport.

My chest was burning and my head felt like it was about to explode. The millions of words left unsaid crowed in my throat and threatened to choke me if I didn't let them escape. But it seemed like they'd just have to fill my throat and overflow. There was nothing that I could say that would keep him from leaving. All the begs and pleas would only make it worse. So, I simply held Tyler's hand tightly in my own as I laid with my head on his shoulder.

The car ride was silent with Papa and Padre in the front seats, Mr. Barnett in the middle row, and Tyler and I tucked away in the third row. Raindrops chased each other down the window like kids at recess, as if the world herself was sharing our grief. A suffocating heaviness was in the air pressing down on our chests and demanding to be felt. Demanding to hurt.

We'd made the most out of our last week together, but our days had now dwindled down to mere minutes until we were separated. However, despite the stomach-churning situation, I left a sense of relaxation as I sat with my head on his shoulder inhaling his familiar scent; a scent that I prayed to God I wouldn't forget. But He hadn't been answering my prayers up until this point and I was really starting to question if my pleas were falling unto deaf ears. If we were being played with like some children's toy. Padre always said that the Lord wouldn't put more on us than we could handle and that everything happened for a purpose, but what is the purpose? To see how much we could handle before we broke? To dangle the sweetness of freedom and love in front of Tyler's face just to violently rip it away again? That didn't sound like mercy to me.

As soon as the doubting thought filled my mind, I instantly felt bad. There was just too much going on and I...

I was luckily pulled from my thoughts when Tyler's grip suddenly tightened on my hand. The airport was steadily growing as we rapidly approached it, hungry and eager to take my king away from me. And there was nothing I could do but wait and pray for him to come back to me.

Within moments the car stopped and we were in front of his terminal. My vision blurred with tears but I quickly blinked them away. Crying wouldn't stop anything. It hadn't helped up until now anyway.

I felt my Papa's sad eyes on us through the rearview mirror.

"This is it." Tyler's voice was barely above a whisper as he looked down at me, his voice slightly breaking. He was letting his tears freely fall and stain his cheeks. My God, even heartbroken and crying he was a true masterpiece. He was gorgeous.

He was being taken away from me.

I shakily brought the back of his hand up to my lips and pressed a soft kiss into it. "This isn't it. We still have so many chapters until it's 'it'." I gave him a small smile hoping to reassure him. I hated when he spoke as if this was the last time we'd see each other. Even if his mother somehow got custody of him, she couldn't keep me away from him. The best parts of me were Tyler. My joy was him. My stability was him. He was my everything. So, I'd fight for him.

His lips trembled as he tried to return the smile. "Yeah," he weakly said before he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I held him as tightly as I could, investing every ounce of strength I had into him as if I could absorb him if I held him tight enough so I could protect him within me.

"I love you, Addison," he whispered so that only I could hear. "Please don't leave me. Just... wait for me. Please." The shake in his voice matched the tremble in his body.

"I love you, too, Tyler. I'll be right here when you get back, I promise. No matter what, I love you. So, so much."

As he pulled away he looked at me and gently cupped my cheek. "That's all I needed to hear." He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead before the door to the trunk opened, revealing our parents.

"Addi, would you mind helping them with their bags?" Padre asked and I nodded before I climbed out with Tyler hot on my heels.

The cold New York air nipped at my damp cheeks as we unloaded the trunk and it took everything in me to not break down into tears right there on the sidewalk. I wanted to scream. I wanted to break anything I could get my hands on. I wanted to beg my fathers to let me go with Tyler and his father.

But I did none of those things. I simply did as I was told.

"I can't thank you all enough for what you've done for my son and I," Mr. Barnett said once we shut the trunk. "You...You were there for him in ways I wasn't and couldn't. You guys treated him like family– you've treated us like family and you've stood by us through this tough time. I can't thank you guys enough for it, and I hope that we'll be able to start repaying the favor."

"It's been no trouble at all, Malcolm. You guys are family," Papa said as he wrapped his arms around Mr. Barnett.

"And you always will be. You know you can reach out to us for anything," Padre added as he too hugged Mr. Barnett as Papa moved on to hugging Tyler.

"Thanks. I know I've said it a million times before, but...but you guys have helped me more than you will ever know and I really really hope that I can come back," Tyler said, his voice a mere whisper by the end. I wrapped my arms around him once more before our fathers enveloped us in their warm, loving arms.

"You will, Tyler. You will," Padre softly comforted. "I know Madison and I's situation was different when we went to court, but tell the truth, let your emotions show, and listen to your lawyer. The rest is up to God, so just put everything else in His hands. He's got you."

"Th-Thank you, Mr. Noah," Tyler said as the hug broke and tears started sliding down his cheeks.

Now it was my turn to cup his cheeks in my hands. I used my thumbs to gently wipe them off as I mustered the best smile I could. "Hey, you. We're all on your side. Even from all the way over here. And we all love and care about you. So keep your head held high. You are the Tyler Marcel Barnett. All-State Champion, music producer, amazing boyfriend and son, and the ultimate cartoon theorist." The corners of his lips slightly turned up at the last remark. "Here, I got this for you." I quickly ducked into the car and pulled a gift bag out of a small semi-hidden compartment.

I offered it to him. "Here. It's something to remember me by."

"Addi, you didn't have to–"

"I know, but I wanted to. Think of it as an early Christmas gift. Open it."

The corners of his lips tugged on once again before he pulled out the tissue paper and a long black velvet necklace box. He opened it and inside was a gold necklace with a small four-sided gold bar on it. He took it out and examined it closer, likely reading the words on it. As he did, his smile grew as tears filled his eyes. On each side of the bar had been phrases that were key cornerstones to our relationship: il mio re, minute by minute, the Disney logo, and finally, a picture of a house with an equal sign and then a heart.

I just wanted to give him a piece of me that he could have with him no matter what.

"Do you like it?" I asked and he nodded before he wrapped his arms around me again.

"It's perfect. Thank you, Addison."

I smiled. "You're welcome." I pulled the card out of the bag. "Don't read this until you're on the plane, ok? Promise me."

He took it from my hand and nodded. "I promise."

"Tyler, we have to head in so we'll make it to our terminal before they start boarding," Mr. Barnett said, causing Tyler to let go of me.

"Bye, Mr. Barnett," I said as I gave him a hug.

"Goodbye, Addison. Stay out of trouble now."

"Yes, sir," I said before I turned back to Tyler and pulled him in for one more hug, hoping to convey every thought I had but couldn't express through my actions. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said. No matter how many times we said it to each other, each time that sacred phrase slid past our lips, it was filled with even more conviction and emotion.

As we parted from the hug, Tyler gently gripped my neck and kissed me. Usually, I'd be a bit embarrassed kissing with our parents' undivided attention on us, but at the moment I couldn't bring myself to care about them or the people walking by or the fact that I was slowly losing feeling in my legs due to how cold it was. All I could focus on was the boy who was holding me as I tried to ingrain his lips, his scent, his touch, him into my memory– into every cell and nerve in my body.

"Ti amo, il mio re," I whispered into his lips. "Torna a casa da me (come home to me)."

"Ti amo, Romeo," he said before we fully parted. He ran his fingers through my hair. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

I nodded before his hands left my body, leaving me feeling cold and small.

We waved to each other as they headed through the doors. I watched as they walked toward the ticketing area. A part of me was hoping Tyler would look back at me one last time, but he didn't. And that was for the best because if he had, I would've broken on the spot.

"Come on. It's cold out here," Papa gently said as he lead me back into the car.

"I know you'll miss him and he'll miss you. But keep your head up and keep praying. God will take care of everything, 'kay?" Padre reassured as I buckled my seat belt. All I could do was nod. My voice has been rendered useless.

As the car pulled away from the airport, all I could do was stare at the hand that Tyler had been holding mere minutes ago. The hand that held his had also been the one to dry his tears. To bandage his hand after he'd nearly broken it. To bath him. To hit him when he was a horribly inappropriate joke. To touch him until he broke. To hold him when the world felt a little too heavy.

Now it was heavy and alone, void of all purpose now that the one who it was meant to care for was going to get on a plane and travel thousands of miles away.

And I broke.

All of the tears I'd been trying to trap inside with my pain and fear spilled down my cheek, demanding to present themselves. To be seen. To hurt.

My fathers watched helplessly through the rearview mirrors as they tried to console me, but their reassuring words were falling onto deaf ears. I just cried and screamed and hurt as I held myself tightly, trying to recreate the comfort and safety that only the one I loved could offer me.

***

:'(

That's all I can say. Also, now that I'm home for winter break, the main part of this book should be done by the end of December/ the first week of January (not counting the bonus chapters), so don't forget to comment questions you have for the character Q&A (you can also ask me questions as well if you want), as well as ideas for bonus chapters through Tyler's POV.

Mini life update: I signed papers for my own apartment next year and I finished my first semester in college with 4 As and 1 B. I'm pretty proud of myself!

Anyways, I'll see y'all in the next update!

Love y'all– Jordan

PS who's y'all's favorite character(s) out of all the characters in this book? Let me know below!