49. Wishes

"Come on, Addi. It'll be fun, promise."

Tyler stood a few yards in front of me with his arms extended toward me like a child. His breath clouded the air in front of him as he breathed, yet despite how cold it was, unparalleled excitement still twinkled in his eyes.

"I don't know, Ty. I...I don't think I can do it." Shame spread like a web through my chest as I broke eye contact. I felt like a massive buzzkill and overall dick, but I was terrified. Despite the immense gratitude, I felt toward Tyler for organizing today and being so excited to share one of his passion of ice skating with me, I just wouldn't get the image of me grotesquely and gruesomely whipping out and ruining the day and the rest of our winter break for the both of us. And even if I didn't hurt myself, I was embarrassed that I'd wipe out time after time and never actually skate. Even though it was only the two of us at the little indoor rink, that still would've been beyond embarrassing and equally buzz-killy.

"Hey, it's ok," he said from directly in front of me, somehow doing it with incredible ease and grace. "I know it's scary but let's try this: we'll try one lap, and I promise I'll be by your side the whole time, and if you're still not feeling it, that's ok. We'll stop and find something else to do. But if you like it, then I can keep teaching you and see where we go. Sounds fair?"

I shook my head. "If I can't do it, then that means you wasted your money for nothing."

"Addi, baby, today's not about the money. It's about you having a good time, okay? Let's just give it a try, yeah?" He extended his hand for me to take. I looked at his hand, then at the rink that seemed to go on forever, then at his face. Warmth still radiated from his expression, and I could tell that he wasn't upset or irritated with me. He genuinely wanted me to have a good time, so I'd give it a try.

"Okay," I softly said as I took his hand in mine.

He offered me his signature smile that made my insides warm up. "Good. Now slowly step on. And don't worry, I've got you. You can hold on to the side too if you want. Just keep your knees slightly bent. That's the rule of thumb: keep your knees slightly bent and don't tense up your body while you skating or if you're falling or else you could get hurt. Got it? "

I nodded before I tightly gripped the side of the rink with one hand and firmly held Tyler's with the other. I slowly lifted my foot and stepped onto the ice. So far so good. I put the other one on and I slowly started moving. My heart started pounding in my chest, terrified that I was already moving, yet too scared to try to stop myself in fear that I'd make things worse. Seeing my obvious fear and discomfort, Tyler's warm grip slightly tightened around my hand, reminding me he was there. "You're doing great. Just relax. It's like roller skating, you just need to recenter your balance and not think so much that you're on ice, but that you're floating. Now follow my lead. Again, don't think about it as walking, think about it as skating. Transferring your weight from one foot to the other. We're going to slowly go forward, okay? You might have to loosen your grip on the wall a tiny bit, or you won't go anywhere."

I nodded and, despite the fact that I was absolutely terrified, I slightly loosened my grip on the wall and awaited his instructions.

"Ready?"

I nodded again.

"Ok, push off of your left foot and glide on the right."

I swallowed my fear and followed his instructions. I pushed off with my left and glided forward on my right, keeping my knees bent and trying to be as relaxed as possible. Think of it like regular skating. Think of it like regular skating. I kept repeating it to myself as I continued gliding, with each step, I felt more confident and secure. A smile spread across my face as I slowly picked up speed, not going too fast, but still going at a respectable speed. Tyler laughed. "Look, Romeo, we're almost there. You're doing it!"

"I'm doing it!" I triumphantly repeated as I let go of the railing. "I'm doing it!" I tried picking up my speed but, in typical Addison fashion when I got too confident that's when something wrong happened. And that "something wrong" was my weight shift, resulting in not only me falling but me bringing Tyler down with me since I was holding his hand so tightly. Within a second, my back was ice cold and I was staring at the ceiling as Tyler's laughter filled my ears. And even though my fear had just come true, I found myself laughing as well as I turned to look at Tyler who was on his back too.

"Damn it, Addi. We almost made it," he joked as he laughed.

"We almost did," I agreed as I sobered up and just looked at him. He reached over and put a hand on my cheek, gently stroking it with his thumb. He looked at me with adoration mixed with something like...grief? No, maybe sadness?

The look caused worry to kick up inside of my chest. The question What's wrong? formed on my lips, however, the grin that spread across his lips stopped the question from fully taking shape. He looked happy and he was touching me. He hadn't been pulling away and we'd been doing emotional check-ins with each other to make sure we were doing alright. His body language told me he was okay, but it was just that look.

I pushed my concern down, chalking it up to him probably being a bit tired or something else completely reasonable and not a cause for concern.

As he looked at me, he gave me an adorable grin. I wordlessly put my hand on top of his on my cheek and gave it a squeeze. Regardless of the cold ice pressed against my back, a warm feeling spread through my chest as I stared into the eyes of the boy I loved for a few moments before I forced myself to sit up.

"We can stare at each other back to your place. Finish teaching me how to skate, gotta make your money worthwhile," I said as Tyler followed suit and sat up as well.

"See, I knew you'd like it." Tyler lifted his chin in triumph.

"Yeah, yeah, just help me get up and teach me how to fly like Tonya Harding."

***

"No, Addison, I have a valid point and you need to take it seriously!" Tyler argued from next to me at the bathroom sink. "I think Adventure Time was the perfect catalyst in our childhoods to introduce complex ideas and emotions to kids without overloading them. They had the perfect mix of colors, songs, and overall randomness to keep a kid's attention while strategically using such things to show the depth of emotions and the importance of addressing them."

I chuckled as I spit out my toothpaste into the sink. "Ty, tonight is for relaxing, not for debates about the philosophy of cartoon network shows."

"And we'll get right back to relaxing after you defend why you think Regular Show is better!"

I sighed, though I knew it would be better to simply do what he said rather than try to fight him. We'd gotten back from the skating rink about two hours ago and in that time we'd gotten some hot wings from Mikey's, completely changed out of our heavy winter attire, showered, and now we were brushing our teeth before laying down for the night. Tyler's dad was at work, leaving us the whole apartment to ourselves.

"I just think Regular Show did the same but in a more mature way," I said with a shrug. "That's all. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Yeah, but it might've been a bit too mature. And I don't necessarily mean the subject matter. Like, yeah, it utilized talking animals but it didn't have that same eye-catching color and animation that Adventure Time had that was appealing to kids, you know? Like for me, I watched both but I was more into Adventure Time because it had that juvenile humor that I could appreciate a bit more than Regular Show's. Because of the fact I liked Adventure Time more, I was more susceptible to the life lessons, you know?"

"Valid, valid. You got me there," I said, folding. "I think that Adventure Time is better to watch as a kid and Regular Show is better to rewatch once you get older."

"Is that so?" Tyler asked before he poured some mouthwash into his mouth then rinsed off his toothbrush.

I nodded. "It is. If you don't believe me, we should dedicate some time to rewatch Regular Show and Adventure Time and compare and contrast." Tyler hummed in response, though it wasn't super-enthusiastic, as I rinsed my toothbrush and poured myself some mouthwash.

Before too long, we were both laying on his bed doing our favorite pastime: doing nothing, but doing nothing with each other. Tyler laid with his head on my chest right over my heart, playing with my fingers on one hand while my other hand gently rubbed his back. Soft R&B music filled the air and the only light filling the room was from the city outside.

"Babe?" I softly said.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for today. I really loved it." It felt really good to be pampered by him, and even though I had no idea why he did it, I was still glad that he did and made a note to return the favor ten-fold. I was competitive in a lot of ways, and showing affection was no exception.

"Of course. Anything for you, Romeo," he said as he looked up at me. His eyes fell onto something on my face and a grin spread across his face.

"What?"

He reached up and swept his thumb across my cheek right under my eye. When he removed his thumb, I saw it. A tiny eyelash.

"Make a wish."

I thought for a second before I thought of it. "I wish–"

"No, no, no. You can't say it out loud or it won't come true."

"Fine, I won't say it out loud," I relented as I closed my eyes, made my wish, and blew on the eyelash. His grin grew and I couldn't help smiling as well. "You're so cute," I whispered at him.

"Oh, so you can call me cute but I can't call you cute?"

"That's right," I affirmed before I leaned in and kissed him. He put up a good fight, I'd give him that, but he was no match for me. We'd gotten really heavy really quickly as I had his hands pinned on either side of his head and kissed his neck in its most sensitive spot.

His body responded to me as he let out shaky breaths and groans, silently begging me to keep going. "Addi," he breathed.

"Hmm?"

"I'm yours."

"You're mine?" I asked as I continued kissing him, feeling him get rock hard beneath me.

"I'm yours," he repeated. "Do whatever you want to me. I want it."

"Are you sure?" I asked, pulling away from him so I could look him in the eye to look for any nervousness or signs of doubt, but there wasn't any. From the "tamer" things I'd done to him, he knew how I was. I was intense. I loved the sweet moment when the only thing he could say was my name and feeling his body beg for whatever I was doing. I loved when he tried to fight for the control he knew was mine. But we'd never gone all the way with me in control. I knew I wouldn't lose control with him though. I always paid attention to his body language and checked in to make sure that he liked what I was doing, always ready to stop if need be, and he knew that. But now he was offering himself to me unprovoked. And it turned me on.

"You said you'd get me back for what I did to you, right? So get me back. I want it. Please." His words were filled to the brim with longing and urgency. And I had no choice but to oblige to his request. I smiled as I brought my lips down to his in a gentle kiss. "I love you, Addison," he softly said into my lips.

"I love you too, Tyler."

A blanket of intimacy fell over us as I kissed and touched him. Nervousness swam beneath the surface as I paid close attention to him. I wanted to make sure he really enjoyed it, especially after everything he'd done for me in the past day and for how amazing he'd made me feel the first time we'd had sex. But all of my nerves quickly melted away when he looked at me in a way that told me he trusted me.

Hearing his breath hitch and seeing the anticipation in his eyes was like a drug to me. We started slow and methodical, and I made sure that, unlike last time, I prepped him to lessen the pain in the morning. Once it was set into motion, our bodies naturally moved together as if they were made for each other. Our love and affection for one another were shown through our messy, erratic movements and soft touches. His name spilled from my lips and mine from his in equal measure as he shook beneath me. And despite how new and chaotic it was, it was the best feeling in the world as we allowed our love to present itself in its truest form: messy and unpredictable. He gave me the best feeling in the world.

Both of our bodies were shaking by the time we were done and we both had smiles on our faces that resembled those of schoolgirls when their crushes waved at them. I'd physically given all that I had to give, and all I could hope for was that it was enough.

"Wow," Tyler whispered with his cheek on my chest.

I chuckled as I wrapped my arm around his waist. "How was it?" Anxiety slowly crept inside of me as I awaited his response. I really wanted to be good for him.

"Wow," Tyler repeated, his voice filled with disbelief. "I expected you to be good but...wow."

I let out a sigh of relief as I used my thumb to gently stroke his hip. "I took some notes from last time."

"I could tell," he said with a slight chuckle, though he was clearly still out of breath. I placed a few kisses on his forehead before he lifted his chin and let me kiss his lips. Out of everywhere my mouth had been, it was right back where it belonged: on his. "Ti amo mio re. Ti amo più di quanto le parole possano esprimere (I love you my king. I love you more than words can say)," I muttered into the kiss before he pressed his lips deeper into mine. Even though he might not have understood everything I said in my language, he conveyed his message in a language we both understood. He loved me back.

And I knew I was beyond lucky to have him.

The kiss got a tad heated, but we both knew better than to try to push it beyond that. So before long, his head was back on my chest and we were back to doing nothing with each other, happy and relaxed.

After a few minutes, he spoke. "Addison." That one simple word, my name, was filled with pain.

I instantly looked at him, scared that I'd hurt him or done something to him. "What? What's wrong?"

He didn't look at me as I felt liquid dripping onto my chest. He was crying.

"Did I hurt you? What happened?"

"No, no, it's not you," he softly said as he buried his face deeper into my chest.

"Then what's wrong, Ty? You're scaring me."

Silence was my answer. I was about to ask again, think that perhaps he didn't hear me, but then he spoke, his words so soft that I was afraid I'd imagined them. I hoped I imagined them.

"I have to leave in a week."

My heart broke as my throat became tight and my body felt numb.

I wish Tyler wouldn't have to leave, and he could stay and be happy, I'd wished.

My wish didn't come true.

***

*crash sound* Oh no! My heart! It's broken! (this chapter in a nutshell)

Hey y'all, sorry about being gone for so long. As you probably know I'm in college now and even though it's fun, it's super time-consuming. I'll hopefully be back to a somewhat consistent updating schedule now, but sorry for my first chapter back to be so heartbreaking. I initially had another cutesy chapter planned for this one, but it didn't feel right because it just felt like fluff, so I decided to cut to the chase. My heart breaks for Tyler and Addi, it really does. I don't know if it was super clear, but Tyler was trying to do a ton of fun stuff together before he had to leave and deal with all his "mom's" crap.

Anyways, let me know if you enjoyed the chapter and if so, make sure to comment and vote! Speaking of, this book is almost officially over, but it'll have the character Q&A as well as bonus chapters (Mr. Hill may or may not make an appearance in those) so stay tuned! The characters that will be a part of the Q&A are: Tyler, Addi, Madison, Noah, Azalea, Kyra, Ian, Mr. Barnett, and Dorthea (Ty's "mom"). If you have any questions you want to ask them or any other characters you want to ask a question to, leave them in the comments! See y'all next time and as always, stay healthy and safe!

Love y'all– Jordan :)