40. And They Weren't Roommates

Despite the madness of the past 24 hours, walking into the doors of my school still managed to put a damper on my mood.

Not only would I have to drag myself through calculus and physics, but I'd also be away from Tyler for far longer than I was comfortable with. As we walked, I wanted to do nothing more than grab Tyler's hand that brushed mine with every step and never let go. There was a certain level of fear that swam in his eyes like a baby animal in the wilderness as if he expected his mother to pop out of the sea of students and drag him into the depths of hell.

"I'll see you two at home," Azalea said as Josh started approaching her. Her eyes lingered on Tyler for a bit before she wrapped her arms around him, completely unaware of his recently developed fear of touch. Though I loved Azalea's want to comfort people no matter what, a huge part of me wanted to rip her away from him. His whole body tensed as if a fierce electrical shock was going through it and I was afraid he would break and freak out. But, after a few moments, he relaxed and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder. "I know I'm your boyfriend's annoying little sister but if you need to talk I'm here too. I told you I got you and I mean it." Her voice was so soft that I barely heard it and I was standing right next to them, however, her words made my heart melt.

The corners of Tyler's lips sadly turned up. "Thank you, Azalea." After a few moments, they released each other and Azalea gave me a quick hug before she hurried over to Josh who gave us a wave. I waved back before Josh placed a light kiss on Azalea's lips then he slid a hand into one of the back pockets of her jeans. He said something that caused her to laugh as she leaned into him and allowed him to lead her to wherever they were going. If times were normal, I'd yell something super embarrassing at them, but now, it made my heart ache. Though it was a brief time, I missed being able to be openly in love with Tyler. To hold him, to kiss him, to make him laugh. I missed everything.

"So that's Josh, huh?" Tyler asked, trying to inject a fake substitute of his usual joy into his words, but I knew him. Much like before, I couldn't be tricked by the cheap replacement of the real joy that once flooded Tyler's voice.

"Yeah," I said as I watched them disappear around a corner. "She's super in love with him. She hasn't told me but I can just tell through our sibling bond, y'know? I haven't had a chance to interrogate Josh yet, but trust me, it will come in its due time. We can tag-team it if you want: the interviewee into the interviewer."

"Yeah, I'd love to do that if I'm still here."

A heavy silence hung over us after those words slid past his lips. The heavy reality that there was a possibility that Tyler could be viciously ripped away from me and I couldn't do anything about it. The thought instantly killed my playfulness.

I sighed. "Ty, baby, don't say stuff like that, okay? That woman isn't worthy of being in your head, so there's no reason to let what-ifs bring you down, okay?"

He nodded, though his eyes didn't meet mine.

"I need to hear you say it," I pushed as I used my finger to gently guide his head up so he was looking at me.

"Okay," he mumbled just before the warning bell rang. "We should head to class."

"Alright, but text me if you need me, Ty. And I mean that."

"Okay," he repeated as a hoard of students started filling the hallway. "I will, promise." With that, he turned and started heading for his first hour.

"Ti amo." The words slid from my lips once he'd already turned and started walking away. Though I knew he couldn't hear it, I just needed to say it. However, to my surprise, he turned back toward me and mouthed "I love you too". A smile made its way onto my face as a giddy feeling filled me up from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.

Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.

***

"And, if the object is stationary, the force of gravity, Fg, will be equal to the normal force. That would also be true if the object was moving at a constant velocity, all the vectors in the same directions, vertical forces and horizontal forces, will be equal. But you can't forget..."

My physics teacher droned on as I moved my pencil across the page, but I'd given up on taking notes long ago. I was doodling along the margins of my paper and since my teacher, Mr. Klein, didn't have a clock in his classroom in order to "minimize distractions" I was also sneaking glances at my phone every so often to see when this hell would end.

I was about to draw a picture of Thor when my phone suddenly vibrated and a text message notification popped up. I quickly glanced up to make sure Mr. Klein wasn't looking before I opened it.

Il Mio Re <3: hey, i kno ur in class but can u meet me in the studio? Its ok if u cant, i understand

I didn't waste any time before typing back "on my way" before I hurriedly dumped all of my stuff in my backpack, not caring if the papers bent and tore as I stuffed them in. Since Mr. Klein's class was a very rigid and quiet class, my hasty actions caused a lot of heads to turn, but that didn't stop me or even slow me down in the slightest. I didn't care about any of these people, I cared about Tyler.

Mr. Klein cleared his throat as I zipped up my backpack. "I'm sorry, Mr. Bruno, do you need to go somewhere? Because if so, I'd really appreciate it if you showed me a pass and wouldn't interrupt my class."

I threw my bag over my shoulder. "I don't have a pass but I do have to go."

"Mr. Bruno, you can't just leave without a pass. I'll have to write you up if you try," Mr. Klein stated very matter-of-factly, though there was a certain tension to his voice that told me that I was getting on his nerves.

"Then I guess you'll just have to write me up then." And without another word, I headed to the door, but before I completely walked out, I turned to Mr. Klein who was in a weird state of disbelief. "Oh, and it's Bruno-Williams. Both names." I didn't wait for his reprimand for correcting him and instead, I all but ran down the hallway down to the first floor and to the other side of the school where Tyler was waiting for me. My legs were burning by the time the studio finally came into view and I felt a familiar tightness in my lungs as air desperately traveled in and out of them.

I gently knocked. "It's me," I announced before I opened the door and quickly slid in. Tyler was sitting on the old couch in the corner with a tired look in his eyes. The way his shoulders were slumped let me know that it wasn't physical exhaustion he was feeling, but the emotional kind. The weight of his joyful mask was finally pulling down on him. I gave him a small grin as I approached. "Hey, you."

"Hey," he softly said as I sat next to him. "Look, I'm sorry for pulling you from class, you really didn't have to, it's no big deal and–"

"Ty, baby, it's fine. No need to apologize," I reassured with a slight chuckle. I really wanted to hold his face in mine and use my thumbs to stroke his cheek just the way he liked it. But, like with many of the other habits I had with Tyler, I refrained. "How are you feeling?"

Tyler shrugged. "I don't know. I feel...heavy. Like I have weights in my pocket and every few minutes, another weight is added. I can still move around but it just gets harder and harder with each step, you know? I don't know, I just described it really weird."

I nodded. "I know. I felt that a lot after we broke up and after all of Kyra's initial BS."

Tyler sighed. "Everything's so exhausting."

"What is?" I asked, though I already knew the answer. I just wanted him to open up to me.

"Emotions. They're exhausting and annoying."

I chuckled. "Well, Ty, in here to deal with all of those annoying emotions with you. I'm not going anywhere."

Tyler looked at me in a way that wasn't anything in particular but made my insides buzz all the same. Then, without warning, he did the last thing I expected him to: he laid down and rested his head on my lap. He grabbed my left arm, which had casually been laying at my side, and wrapped his arms around it like it was some teddy bear. His words from the night before filled my head, especially the part about his seesaw of emotions. Maybe this was one of the moments where touch didn't freak him out too much, or maybe he was slowly coming back around like he did when he hugged me before we left. I made a mental note to be very observant, especially if he seemed uncomfortable at any point. "Honestly, I just want to sleep. When I'm asleep I don't have to deal with any of this, and I don't like sleeping without you." His last sentence made me smile so wide that I was surprised my cheeks didn't cramp up.

"I don't like sleeping without you either, Tyler," I admitted, and I 100% meant it. I felt cold and alone without him, so it felt incredibly good to know he felt the same. He bashfully looked away from me. I chuckled before I started running my free hand through his hair the way he liked. He closed his eyes as he buried his face into my stomach. Due to physical touch being one of my love languages, I wrapped my body around him in an effort to show him all my love while simultaneously shielding him from the world. He melted into me.

After a few moments, Tyler's muffled voice filled my ears. "Why do you put up with me, Addison?" He made no move to sit up or look at me as he spoke.

I quirked a brow. "Do I have to spell it out for you, idiot? I'm kinda sorta madly in love with you. It also helps that you're really good in bed." I added in the last sentence to make him laugh and luckily he did. His muffled, joy-filled laugh made its way into my ears.

"I'm in love with you too, Addi," he admitted. "You're not too bad either. Speaking of, you look cute in your glasses."

I rolled my eyes before he nestled back into me. "I'm glad you noticed or else I would've been four-eyes for nothing."

He chuckled before his body relaxed. After a few moments, his breathing fell into an even pattern, indicating he fell asleep. I continued running my hand up and down his back and through his hair. As I did so, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I quickly grabbed it, not wanting to stop rubbing Ty's back for too long.

Papa (11:32): Hey, Addison. how is Tyler?

I looked down at the boy in my arms. I found myself smiling.

Me (11:32): I think we're going to be ok.

***

"Addi, please stop looking at everyone who comes within a meter of Tyler like you're going to kill them," Ian said as we sat on the sidelines. Today Coach had us running some pretty brutal drills that would definitely leave most of us sore in the morning. We only had one more day– tomorrow– before we were piling onto the bus for the All-State game and, in Coach's words, he was "hurting us more than the other team could ever dream of" so that we could be prepared for anything. Pain coursed through my body from my run, so I could only imagine how Ty was feeling. "I get that you're the jealous type, and that's super cute, but can you like, not murder anyone until after we've won?" Ian asked, but all I could focus on was Tyler.

As I watched Tyler run across the field, I could tell he was definitely hurting and beyond tired. Even after we spent the rest of the day in the studio together (which lasted from 11:15 all the way until the end of the day at 2:30) he still didn't seem rested enough. And knowing the mental and emotional pain he was going through, seeing the boys put him in more pain by mercilessly tackling him made me want to kill them. Now I knew how Ian felt when he got possessive over me when I was feeling down.

"I just don't like the way they're handling him," I grumbled, though I knew I was being ridiculous. They had no idea what he was going through— what we were going through, and it was incredibly unfair for me to be upset that they weren't being mindful of something that they had no idea about.

"Hey," Ian said as he physically made me look at him. "I don't know what's going on, but I know you'd tell me if you wanted and/or needed to, so I'm not gonna pry. But what I am going to do is distract you because I'm afraid if I don't, half of our team will be leaving here in body bags."

"Ian, if you're trying to distract someone, the last thing you wanna do is tell them they're being distracted," I deadpanned as I made I move to turn back to Tyler, but Ian's tight grip wouldn't let me.

"I'm asking out Lelani tonight," he blurted, the bold statement capturing my attention.

"I'm sorry, huh?"

"Yeah," he said, his cheeks tinging the bright scarlet of embarrassment. "I, uh, I really like her and I wanna make it official. I...I don't know, I don't like the way I see other guys look at her sometimes. Like they can take her. I wanna make us solid."

I found myself grinning at him. "You're right, the whole overly-jealous-boyfriend thing is really cute."

"Addison," he whined as he hit me and his cheeks became a darker pink.

I laughed. "Dude, I'm so happy for you. I'm glad that she makes you happy. I mean, it's obvious you make her happy too."

"Really?" Ian asked me with a mystical child-like wonder as if he were a child seeing Santa for the first time.

I chuckled again. "Really, dude. I'd have to be blind to miss how you two are around each other. I ship it."

He grinned. "Looks like you and Ty might have some competition, especially now that you just said that she looks at me the way Ty looks to you."

"The way Ty looks at me?" I asked as my attention turned back to him on the field just as he landed an incredible tackle. He jumped up and did the most adorable victory dance before his eyes met mine. He gave me a thumbs up with a cheeky smile that shone through the grills in his helmet. A whisper of a laugh pushed past my lips as I gave him a thumbs-up back.

"Yeah, I'd have to be blind to miss how he looks at you like you're a god and gets this dopey love-struck look across his face when you enter the room. You do the same to him too, so you're not slick."

Now it was time for my cheeks to burn as I broke eye contact. I shrugged as I focused on the grass beneath my feet. "What can I say? I love him."

At that moment, Ian let out the loudest fan-girl scream ever causing my attention to snap to him in addition to everyone else on the field.

"Byrne! Unless you're dying or Obama himself is gracing the field, shut the hell up!" Coach snapped, but Ian ignored him as he aggressively shook me like a snow globe.

"You what him?"

Though both Tyler and I knew we loved each other, it felt weird letting someone else in on the sacred, intimate feeling that fluttered between us. Especially when that someone is as obnoxious and extra as Ian.

"Ian, chill, it's not that deep."

Ian looked at me like I'd just told him that gravity isn't real. "That's a big deal, dumbass. A huge one!"

I blushed again. "Ok, yeah Ian, I love him. There, you happy? Please stop freaking out."

"Have you told him yet? Have you, have you, have you?" He pushed like a curious child.

I sighed. "Yes, Ian."

"Did he say it back?"

"Yes, Ian."

He squealed. "That's it. You two are end game and if y'all don't get married and have like a billion children, I'm giving up on love."

"I was going to cap it at 2 kids, but ok."

Ian opened his mouth to say something else, but luckily Coach's whistle cut him off. I love Ian, don't get me wrong, but he could be a lot sometimes. I chose to blame it on his nervousness over asking Lelani out tonight. I made a mental note to check in with him before we left.

Ian and I followed the rest of the boys as they huddled around Coach. The smell of sweat, fatigue, and determination hung in the air between all of us. To my surprise, Tyler took his spot next to me. He even let his hand gently press against mine as we stood. "Hey," I softly said, my words being masked by the incessant buzz of conversations that were thriving around us. "You looked good out there. Play like that and whoever we match up against will be running home with their tails between their legs."

Tyler grinned at me. "Thanks. You didn't look too bad out there either, Romeo." The nickname caused tingles to fester in my feet.

"Alright ladies, tomorrow is our last practice before we get in the bus and head to the All-State game," Coach started, causing a hush to fall over the rowdy boys. "I'm proud of you boys and I have no doubt you can wipe the floor like you have for the past handful of years. But I swear to god, Yusef, if I get a phone call from the cheerleading coach about you getting friendly with the cheerleaders like I did last year, I swear I'm going to circumcise you with a rusty spoon, you nasty animal."

Yusef out his hands up in surrender as a grin tugged at the edge of his lips. "I can't help it, Coach, what can I say? I'm a lady's man."

Coach closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Dealing with you bastards all the time makes me so glad I had all girls," he muttered.

"We love you too, Coach," Boxy said in a sing-song voice, causing a chorus of annoying high-pitched voices to agree.

Coach sighed before he opened his eyes. "Alright, shut up before I make you guys run suicides." We all became silent, especially because we knew that he'd actually do it. Coach grinned, "That's what I thought. Now, head to the showers and in fifteen minutes I'll announce everyone's rooming assignments so you all can plan accordingly. Okay?" Various affirmations filled the air before we all broke up and headed to the locker room.

"You want to go to Ricky's after practice?" I asked Tyler as we walked.

He nodded. "Yeah, I can definitely go for some hot wings right about now. It's been a rough week."

"Ok. I gotta talk to Ian for a sec after practice, but we can go after that."

"Sounds good," Tyler said just as another teammate called his name, pulling his attention from me. I hurried into the locker room and practically threw myself into the shower. I felt the stress of the week melt off of me as my mind finally relaxed. Tyler was becoming comfortable with me again. He was cracking jokes, he was smiling. And now that he was slowly becoming ok, I was too. I thought about our relationship and how it had progressed so quickly. Our relationship and its magnitude of love and responsibility and complexity was intimidating. I knew that things still had the likelihood of becoming worse before they became better. It was almost unavoidable as long as his "mother" was here, but I was willing to go through that. I knew it would have a heavy emotional toll on us, but the beauty of it was that we weren't in it alone. We had my parents and Tyler's dad and even Coach and the boys.

I quickly finished before I hopped out and dried off. I threw on my pants but opted to remain shirtless due to me still being very hot. I scanned the rowdy crowd of boys until my eyes landed on Ian on the other side of the locker room. He too had showered and was fully dressed. I quickly made my way over to him and threw myself onto his lap. "Addi! Dude, what the–"

"So, how are ya' gonna ask Lelani out?" I asked as I adjusted myself on him, but I made no move to get up.

"I'm gonna...wait, wait, wait, how did you and Ty get together? Who asked who? What was the setup?" The very mention of the night Tyler asked me out filled my chest with butterflies. "It was that good huh?"

"What?"

"Dude, you're smiling, like a lot," Ian said as a grin tugged at the edges of his lips.

I hadn't even noticed I was smiling.

Seeing no use in hiding it, I allowed myself to fully gush about what Tyler had done. I told him about the phone call that scared me out of my mind, the beautiful set-up and Ty's incredible thoughtfulness concerning my "sickness", and finally, how he asked me to be his boyfriend in the worst Italian I'd ever heard.

"Wow," Ian said looking down at me (he'd given up on trying to get me off of him long ago). "Well, what I was gonna do doesn't compare to that at all."

I shook my head. "It's not about comparisons. It's about doing something that's special for the both of you. Now, tell me what you're thinking of doing."

"I...Well we're going back to Dave and Buster's tonight, you know, where we had our first date, because she loves going there so much. And my dad's friend's son, Peter, works there. I bought a stuffed animal–a stuffed panda since it's her favorite animal– that has 'will you be my girlfriend?' sewn on the heart and gave it to him to give to me tonight. So, at the end of the night, I'm gonna bring my tickets to the counter like I'm getting a prize, he'll give it to me, and I'll give it to her and pray she'll say yes."

"Ian, that's so cute!" I gushed.

"Really? You don't think it's cheesy?"

"Of course it's cheesy, but it's perfect for you two. She can't say no to that. I mean, even if you didn't do all that she couldn't say no. I wish I could be there to see it."

"I mean, we could make it a double date if you wanted to."

I shook my head. "I can't, Ty and I already have plans. But we'll definitely come next time. A double date would be so fun."

"What double date would be fun?" Tyler asked as he approached before he pitched a brow, his eyes bounced between Ian and I as I sat on his lap. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" A playful tone danced in his words, causing me to roll my eyes as I hopped off of Ian.

"He wants us to go on a double date with him and Lelani–"

"Assuming she says yes to being my girlfriend–"

"–which she definitely will."

"You asking her out tonight?" Tyler asked as Ian stood up.

"Yeah, man. I'm really nervous. I just don't want to mess up what we have, you know?"

"Trust me, I do," Tyler said with a little chuckle. "When I asked Addi out, I was terrified. We had a good thing going on that I didn't want to screw up, not to mention that he's super hot and way out of my league."

His words made my cheeks warm and a smile spread across my face, but I tried to hide it with my hands. "Babe, stop it, that's not true."

"Oh, but it is," he said as he wrapped his arm around my bare waist and slightly pulled me into him. The bare skin-to-skin contact that I'd been starved of for so long caused a quiet gasp to escape my lips. If Ian or Tyler noticed the effect his touch was having on me, they didn't show it as they continued on with their conversation but I couldn't focus on what was being said. Instead, I buried my face into Tyler's shoulder and took in the familiar scent that danced around him. The scent of home.

I stayed there in the arms of the boy who was my everything until I heard my name. "Ian, you'll do great, right Addi?"

I turned so I was facing Ian. "Yeah, man. I know it's easier said than done but just relax and be yourself. Lelani likes you and you like her. As long as you remember that, you'll be golden."

Ian smiled, finally looking relaxed. "Thanks, I'll try to remember that and not shit my pants." Just then, the familiar screech of Coach's whistle filled the air. We all hurried to Coach; the sooner we got this over with, the sooner Tyler and I could go out. I was acutely aware of the fact that his hand was still securely wrapped around my bare waist.

"Alright, boys. The roommate chart is as follows..." Coach rattled off the names and most of the pairings were the same as last year save for all of the new members. Coach was nearing the end of the list and only four of us had yet to be called: me, Ty, Ian, and Yusef. My heart was hammering in my chest. Even though Ty and I had been spending the past handful of nights together, I felt the incessant need to spend this weekend with him, curled up in his arms. I silently prayed that it would be so.

"And our last pairings are Addison with Ian, and Tyler with Yusef."

I frown instantly made its way onto my face and my heart dropped.

"Don't look so down, you two. I told you you'd never room together," Coach jokingly said though that did nothing to soften the blow. "Now, for the chaperones..."

"Hey, Romeo, don't look so sad. We'll figure something out," Tyler whispered into my hair.

"Promise?" I asked, 100% aware of how needy I sounded.

He chuckled and squeezed my waist. "I promise."

His sincere words were enough to make me relax. We listened through the rest of the meeting and within fifteen more minutes, we were walking into the subway. "Good luck, Ian! And let me know how it goes," I told him as we started walking our separate ways to the appropriate trains.

"Me too!" Ty added.

"Will do," Ian said before we disappeared into the throng of people in the busy subway. I turned to Tyler. Unlike in the locker room, there was a respectable distance between us and we weren't holding onto each other, mainly because we didn't want to risk being hate-crimed.

"Are you ready to stuff our faces and possibly get diabetes, il mio re?"

Tyler smiled, showing off his single dimple. "I thought you'd never ask."

***

*awkwardly walks in like I didn't go MIA for a month*

...hey...how y'all doin'?

Anyways, sorry for the long drop off. I had a bunch of school work that came up on me and I barely had time to breathe let alone write, so sorry for that. But here's my life update: I graduate in like a week and a half, I got accepted into my dream film school, I'm wrapping up my senior year, and I'm highkey vibing. It's so crazy that I started the first book in this series (Tear In MY Heart) back during my freshman year and now I'm almost done with the second one my senior year, it's crazy. (Don't worry this book still has like 15 chapters left).

But enough about me. How did you guys like this chapter? What do you think about Addi and Tyler's relationship slowly mending itself? What do you think is going to happen with his mom? What do you think is going to happen at All-State? Where tf is that annoying mf Kyra? Let me know in the comments! Also, what do you wanna see happen next? I have most of the stuff planned out, however, I would still love to know what you guys want to see and maybe I can incorporate it!

Alright, it's late and I have to go to bed. Stay safe and healthy!

Love y'all– Jordan :)

P.S did y'all see what I did with the title there? Y'know...like the vine..? No? Okay bye