29. Victory

I could hear the rhythm of the drumline in the distance above the deafening chatter of the locker room. I could practically feel the white stream of the floodlights washing over me even though we hadn't even set foot on the field. The phantom feeling of the football made my fingertips tingle and my legs buzz, ready to break out into a full run at any moment.

In the past month when my funk was the only thing ruling my life, I'd forgotten how energizing and sacred a football game felt, whether it was the first or the hundred and first.

But with that excitement coming back, so did the nerves. I was suddenly questioning every aspect of myself and my ability. What if I didn't play the same? What if I fumbled and cost our team the game? What if I couldn't read people's body language like I usually could and cost my team the win? It also didn't help that the last time I'd played on the field was the day I broke up with Kyra and messed up our standing for good. I wondered if she was thinking about that too. If her blood was boiling enough for her to out us to the whole world. I prayed to God she wouldn't.

"Hey," Tyler said as he sat down next to me in the quiet secluded corner of the locker room. His helmet was tucked under his arm and his jersey was rolled up a bit, showing off his abs that only hard work and genetics could produce.

"Hey."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I fibbed, but Tyler gave me the I'm not buying it look.

"Well, there must be a whole lot of nothing going on because your brows are furrowed the way they usually are when there's something wrong." To further prove his point he reached up and gently swept his thumb between my brows and sure enough, they were furrowed. I relaxed my face under his touch and looked away. "Sorry. I guess you know me too well."

"I guess I do," he said, but I still didn't meet his eyes. "Addi, what's wrong?"

"I'm nervous and I don't like it," I confessed, knowing that there was no point in me playing dumb. "I...I don't know, I'm anxious. I feel a weird...something that I've never felt before a game and it makes me uneasy."

Tyler looked at me and my already anxious stomach twisted into knots, but not the bad kind. It was as if his whole body was saying 'i love you' without saying a single word as he wrapped his arm around me and directed my head to his shoulder. Despite the spike of anxiety in my chest knowing that someone could easily see us and connect us to the "rumors", I didn't fight it. This was the first time today that I'd actually gotten to feel his touch since we'd been sticking to our plan of avoiding each other as much as possible during the day, only able to sneak glances at each other every now and then.

I needed this.

"It's okay, Addi. I get it. This is your first big anything since everything went down; you have a right to be kinda uneasy. But remember you've done this a million times and you'll continue doing it a million more. You are the Addison Bruno-Williams. A certified beast and a force I wouldn't want to screw with if I were those Gregson guys. Besides," he grabbed my hand and laced his fingers with mine, "you got me, Romeo." My knee caps tingled at his words. My mind couldn't process how he'd been through so much in such a short amount of time, yet he was always the one comforting me.

God, I didn't deserve him.

"I think that nickname is growing on me," I admitted as a whisper of a chuckle escaped my lips. I made a mental note to find one for him.

Tyler grinned before he leaned in to kiss me, but just as his lips brushed mine, Coach blew his whistle, causing me to jump and accidentally bite Tyler's lip. He lowly cursed as he pulled away and a wave of embarrassment moved through me.

"Oh my– Ty, I'm so sorry, let me see, let me see," I said as I took his head in my hands in an effort to look at the damage I'd done.

And there was blood.

There was blood.

"Oh God, Tyler, I'm so sorry–" I was cut off by him laughing, seemingly unfazed by the blood that was collecting on his lower lip.

"Addi, baby, it's fine, I was just shocked, that's all. You didn't hurt me or anything."

"Are you sure? I mean, I can get you an ice pack or something," I pressed as I turned his head in my hands, looking for other damage that definitely wasn't there.

He put his hands on top of mine, his charming boyish smile still on his face. "Addison, I love that you're so worried, I really do, but I'm fine. Now come on before Coach actually murderers us."

I scoffed before I stood up and grabbed my helmet from off of the bench next to me as Tyler did the same and we joined up with the rest of the team who was huddled around Coach. "Alright boys, we've had a pretty good run this far, huh? We just need to remain a united front. Make sure that you talk to each other and listen. Hold onto the ball as tight as you can and whenever you can, get the ball to Addison. If Addi's too far, get it to Tyler or Harry, okay? Other than that, just have fun. If things go wrong, just shake it off and keep going. Don't let the other team get in your head, alright?"

"Yes sir!" we all yelled.

He grinned, excited by our excitement. He looked at Harry who put his hand in the center and everyone piled on top. "Alright, Trojan's on me, Trojans on three, Trojans on me! One, two, three–"

"Trojans!"

A series of battle cries filled the air as we all rushed out onto the field. Since it was a home game, the stands were overflowing with people from our school cheering us on as we ran out. The band's music reached a crescendo as the cheerleaders and dancers led cheers that the crowd followed along with.

But despite the excitement that pumped through my veins and the way my heart fluttered when Tyler and I's shoulders bumped as we ran on, I couldn't help but be reminded that before everything went to crap, this would be the time I'd run over to Kyra and give her a kiss. Hell, if we weren't completely torn apart and had ended on good terms, I'd run over to her and give her a hug or something. She'd been my good luck charm for so long and it felt weird not even looking at her, let alone touching her even if it was in a totally platonic way.

At that moment, I wanted to do nothing more than kiss Tyler so that he'd become my new good luck charm. But I couldn't. And it killed me.

I saw my parents and my siblings in the stands, all looking down at us with excited looks on their faces. They always came to each game and cheered me on like it was the last game I'd ever play. I waved at them, beyond grateful that they were there. I needed them, especially tonight.

"Alright, alright, alright, let's go! We got this, come on!" I called as we started getting into our positions.

"Hey, Addi," Ian said as he stopped next to me.

"Yeah?"

He looked at me, his grin shining through the grills in his helmet. "Let's kick some butt."

I grinned before I nodded. "Let's kick some butt."

When the whistle blew and the game began, it felt like I was watching from outside of my body. It felt as if I'd never left.

I was home.

In the beginning, Gregson was playing tough. It was a constant tug of war: we'd be in the lead than they'd be in the lead. It was stressful, but a good kind of stress. The kind of stress that lit a fire under my butt and pushed me harder. The cheers that filled the air were a drug, and the encouragement we'd give each other whether we'd won a point or not was beyond fulfilling. The excited pats on the back and hugs I got when I made a successful play made me even hungrier for a victory and more ruthless against our opponent.

I felt confident. I felt like the old Addi.

It also helped that I got to play side by side with my boyfriend who looked super hot when he was frustrated and hungry for a win.

By the time half-time rolled around, we were in the lead. My heart was ramming in my chest and my lungs were screaming for the air I'd cruelly been depriving them of. As I drank some water, the dance team took the field. Though half-time being the time most people left to grab food or get some water, there was still a considerable amount of people in the stands cheering the girls on.

Despite how good their dances always were, I couldn't bring myself to look at them, not wanting to risk making eye contact with Kyra and brutally kill the joy that was running rampantly through my veins.

"Hey, lookie here, lookie here. Addison still got his game," Ian said before he used one hand to take a swig of his water and the other to clap me on the back.

"Yeah, bro, you're...killing it as...always," Harry made out between heavy breaths, his accent more apparent now that he was tired and more focused on breathing than masking his accent.

"Thanks, you guys aren't doing too bad either."

My gaze went past the boys and toward Tyler who was a handful of meters down from us drinking his water alone as he watched the dance team. I wanted nothing more than to run over there and sling my arms around his shoulder and shower him in compliments just for him to somehow turn my compliments into something dirty and make me blush. But I couldn't. Even though Kyra was dancing, she could still easily see us. Besides, the cheerleaders and dancers were still sus about two gay players on the football team, and though a guy going to another guy and hugging him or simply complimenting him wasn't gay within itself, girls somehow take the most mundane things and solve mysteries, so I didn't want to risk it.

Instead, I forced my eyes from Tyler and tuned into the conversation Harry and Ian were having about strategies. All too soon, however, we were back on the field back in the same cycle of bodies hitting bodies, running, and making passes.

After the third quarter, it was as if Gregson had simply given up. The unity that they started out playing with had completely unraveled and their tight formations and plays seemed to have dissolved before our eyes. They were playing against one another just as much as they were playing against us.

But that didn't cause us to slow down or get comfortable with the win Gregson was basically serving us on a silver platter. Instead, we played harder and showed them that the Trojans showed no mercy.

Each throw was a blow to Gregson's ego and each touchdown was a nail in their coffin. And when the game ended with us winning, it felt just as sweet as a narrow win.

The crowd erupted in cheers as we hugged and high fived each other.

I peeled my stuffy helmet off of my head, an unparalleled pride bubbling in my chest.

A pride that usually led people to do stupid things. And I was about to become one of those people.

"We did it!" Ty said with a triumphant grin as the flood lights illuminated his face.

"That we did," I agreed as I took his helmet off his head and tossed it to the side, taking a step closer to him. "I think it calls for a celebration, don't you?"

Tyler chuckled, seemingly seeing where I was going. "Addison, what am I going to do with you?"

"Love me," I shrugged before I cupped his cheek, my heart ramming in my chest at what I was about to propose. "May I, il mio re (my king)?"

If he said yes, this would be one of the most important kisses in our relationship, only out ranked by the kiss we'd share if we got married one day, the first time I'd kiss my children, and our very first kiss.

His grin became impossibly wider as he nodded. "Kiss me, Romeo."

And I did. Though my heart was all but beating out of my chest, I gently pressed my lips to his and dropped my helmet so I could gently hold his waist with my other hand.

My hand slightly shook against Tyler's cheek as adrenaline and anxiety rushed through me. The crowd's cheers momentarily softened, likely because they finally saw us among our jumping and screaming teammates, but in reality, I wasn't doing this for them. I was doing it for him– the boy in my arms that I was beyond proud to call mine and would run away with if he asked me to.

After a few seconds, the cheers returned at full force. I heard some shocked remarks from our teammates before I heard claps and words of encouragement from them, most noticeably, though, was Ian screaming "Hell yeah! That's my best friend! That's! My! Bestfriend!"

After a few more moments, we pulled apart and despite the abundance of noise and people around us, all I could focus on was Tyler and the feeling of his body against mine. "I guess there's no going back, huh?" I softly said.

"I guess not," he agreed though there was no regret or hesitation in his voice and, though I didn't think it was possible, his grin somehow became bigger.

I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, we were mobbed by our teammates. A blush stained my cheeks as we were congratulated and light-hearted jokes were thrown around. But best of all, I didn't see a single one of my teammates look uncomfortable. Yeah, some of the people in the stands had less than desirable looks on their faces as did some of the guys on the opposing team, but they didn't matter. All that mattered was that the boys I'd been calling my family for the past four years or so accepted me, as did my coach. My heart fluttered with joy and pride.

After the boys calmed down and stopped acting like they'd just seen King Kong fight Godzilla, Coach approached us. "Congratulations, boys. I just wanted to let you know that this team is a safe space and you don't have to worry about anything here. But if anyone gives you a hard time, anywhere in the school or God forbid on this team, let me know and I'll handle it."

"Me too," Ian piped up before he punched his hand into his palm. "I'll teach them a few lessons about what happens when someone messes with my friends."

I rolled my eyes as another blush ignited on my cheeks. "Ok, thanks."

Coach grinned as he made a move to walk away, but before he could he did a double take. "Oh, and uh boys, I hope you know that now there's absolutely no way that you two can be roommates when we go out of town and stuff, okay?"

If I was red before, I was a tomato now.

I broke eye contact faster than a lighting strike and Tyler had the same reaction. "Ew, Coach, it's not like that–" Tyler started but Ian interrupted him.

"Don't worry, Coach, I'll be the cock-blocker. It's been my job since middle school and I'm pretty good at it."

That was the truest thing I think Ian had ever said. But that didn't stop me from covering my ears and ducking my head into Tyler's shoulder to shield myself from the conversation that I didn't want to be a part of.

Tyler chuckled as he wrapped his arm around me, though I knew that it was more of a defense mechanism chuckle than a real one.

"Wait, wait, wait," Harry said as he slung an arm across both Tyler and I's shoulders, "so instead of asking Boxy if I was attractive to the gays I should've been asking you two! So one of you tell me, and be honest, am I attractive?"

"Harry, why does this matter so much to–"

"Because I've always been curious," he whined like a toddler. "Come on, tell me."

Tyler sucked in a breath. "I would if I could, Harry, but I'm kinda spoken for so my eyes are on him and him only."

I grinned up at him and though I really wanted to kiss him, I couldn't bring myself to do it in front of people again. My body was still buzzing from the first time.

Harry rolled his eyes. "A guy just wants to know if other guys wanna bang him! That's all? Is that too much to wonder?" He muttered to no one in particular as he followed some of the team members back toward the showers.

I turned by to Tyler. "How do you feel?"

"I feel...free. Like I've finally released a breath that I've been holding for what feels like years, you know?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm glad we did it though."

"Me too." His eyes scanned the crowd that had slowly started dispersing from the stands either back to their respective cars or onto the field to talk to the players, cheerleaders, and dancers. I couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking about the monster that called itself his mother. "It went way better than I thought it would, but it was a grand way for us to come out, huh?"

I chuckled. "Yeah. Just below a full on musical and parade that blasted Queen music spearheaded by Hayley Kiyoko or Conan Gray or something."

"Ooh, I didn't know that was an option, or else I totally would've gone with that one!" He whined before he stuck his bottom lip out in a childish pout.

I rolled my eyes before I bend over to pick up our helmets, causing Tyler to land a quick but firm smack on my rear. I yelped and straightened up before I swatted him with one of the helmets I was holding. "Tyler!"

He shrugged before he slid an arm across my shoulders. "What? I couldn't help it."

I was about to bite back when I saw my little siblings running toward me out of the corner of my eye with my fathers and Azalea following closely behind. I turned to Tyler. "I know this might be a quick turn around, but how about we take a shower and you come back over to my place?"

Tyler looked past me and saw my family's smiling faces and he relaxed beneath me. "I think I'd like that a lot."

Satisfied, I placed a quick kiss on his cheek before I broke away and ran to meet Emerson and Adryan halfway, scooping them up in my arms once I reached them and spun them around.

As their giggles filled my ears, I scanned the crowd for Kyra so that I could gauge her reaction. Though I was satisfied that we'd dismantled her plan to out us, I also still felt a bit bad. She'd only acted that way because of the hurt I caused, which only added to the mountains of hurt she and her mother were already going through because of her dad.

But as if she was a ghost, she was nowhere to be found.

An uneasy feeling settled within me, but instead of allowing it to bring me back to reality from the Cloud 9 I was floating on, I simply held my siblings closer and focused on the way my lips still tingled from kissing the one I loved.

***

Back-to-back-to-back updates again? Wow, I didn't think I had it in me. I'm going to keep this author's note short because I'm exhausted. School has been kicking my butt and so far, senior year is not a vibe and I'm highkey disappointed but it is what it is, am I right? Anyway, what did you think of the chapter? How do you think about the way they came out? What do you think is going to happen with Kyra? Let me know in the comments! Also, let me know if you caught the "Tear In My Heart" reference in this chapter. Alright, stay safe and healthy!

Love y'all– Jordan