26. Honesty

"Princess, get your head out the tower and into the game!" Coach yelled at me as we continued running plays. Sweat was abundant on my forehead and stinging my eyes, and despite the release football usually offered me, I couldn't bring myself to go all out.

Especially because I was playing against Tyler.

The past few days at school had been hard, especially because I found myself just going through the motions–smile now, laugh here, crack a joke now. But I did find some comfort in it though. I got to keep an eye on Tyler and make sure he was okay. Maybe, okay wasn't the right word. Or maybe it was a small part of me just hoping that Tyler was secretly struggling as much as I was. But, if you didn't know that something was supposed to be wrong, Tyler would seem the exact same to you: the same gorgeous smile, the same knee-weakening laugh. The same everything.

Except everything was so different.

When we were all together with the boys, he made an effort not to look at me which easily contrasted with the casual way we spoke when we were around others. He'd even laughed at one of the low-hanging jokes I'd made. It was confusing and painful.

On the bright side, the rumors about the gay couple on the team had become a distant memory with the only mention of the word "gay" being casual locker-room jokes that held no ill feelings or intent behind them.

Hopefully, Kyra didn't know that though. The lack of buzz combined with my outburst the last time we'd spoken might've pushed her to actually name drop us and then what?

I pushed the thought out of my mind because I knew that if I kept dwelling on what I couldn't change I would literally go insane.

I watched the ball as it traveled from person to person. Then it landed in Tyler's hands. And he was headed straight for me.

"Go, Addison! Stop him!" Ian yelled from somewhere else on the field, but all I could focus on was Tyler and the determined look in his beautiful brown eyes. Despite my emotional baggage, I couldn't let my temporary team suffer because I was too caught up in my feelings. Tyler was obviously not going to let anything keep him from his goal, including me, so why should I?

I charged toward him, letting his body tell me what he was about to do. I knew he was about to sidestep before he did it. The way his muscles pulled told me he was about to change directions, therefore, so was I.

Within seconds he was in the optimal position, giving me the perfect opportunity to take him down.

And take him down I did.

Coach blew the whistle as I laid on top of Tyler, our bodies a mess of tangled limbs. My mind subconsciously went back to our one and only date where we'd ended up in a strikingly similar position but for completely different reasons.

I rolled off of him and we ended up side by side facing each other and as I looked over at him and was reminded why I fell in love with him in the first place–even in his dazed and confused state, he looked absolutely gorgeous. After a few moments, he gained his bearings and his eyes locked with mine. In that moment, I forgot how to breathe. I hadn't had his undivided attention in so long, his mere gaze was like water after spending days in the desert. So many things buzzed in my mind all fighting for dominance, but just as I opened my mouth to say something, he'd already gotten up and started walking away.

"Good game, Bruno," he said so low that I almost missed it. But his tone wasn't light and inviting like it usually was. His voice, much like his demeanor, was that of a stranger. And it broke me in ways that no word or physical attack could. I hadn't truly realized how much I missed his touch until that moment. I hadn't truly realized how much I missed having his attention until he spoke to me without sparing me a glance.

Coach clapped his hands as Ian jogged over to me. "That's how you do it, Princess!" Coach yelled as I finally pushed myself to a sitting position.

"Hey man, you good?" Ian asked as he crouched next to me, taking off his helmet and mouthguard in the process "If you still haven't been sleeping or eating right, this much activity and impact can't be good for you, man."

I shook my head. "I'm fine, thanks. It was just...a lot," I said, choosing my words very carefully as to not tip off Ian that Tyler had been my "mystery man" as he'd affectionately dubbed him. "I'm still getting used to practicing again, that's all." After Coach and I's talk the day he'd unintentionally sent me to my doom to get the bag of footballs, he'd deemed me unfit to come back practicing full time out of worry, and though a part of me wanted to hate him from demoting me to a benchwarmer, I was partially grateful for the opportunity for my body to get back in tune. But that also meant that I was stuck alone with my thoughts for two and a half hours. But that punishment had only lasted a few days and I was thankfully back on the A-team.

Ian clapped my back. "You're doing great champ, just a little more to go." I hated how much like my dad he sounded when he spoke like that. I nodded as Ian extended his hand toward me and used his head to motion toward the group that was gathering around Coach. I grabbed his hand and allowed him to hoist me up before we jogged to join the rest of the team.

"Alright, great practice today boys," Coach said as I peeled my helmet off. "We have two more practices before our game against Gregson High. If you keep your eyes on the prize and your heads out of your rear, then we'll be good as gold." He put his hand in the middle of the huddle and everyone piled their hands on top of each other and, as fate would have it, Tyler's hand ended up directly on top of mine before a dozen others piled on top of his. His familiar warmth soaked into my very being. But, as if a thick cloud had passed in front of the sun, his warmth was gone as soon as it came as he put his hand on the very top of the pile.

"Tyler, you can't be on top all the time," Coach chastised, using a tone that mirrored one that you'd use on a misbehaving child.

He effortlessly shrugged. "I like being on top."

Yusef raised a brow. "Ok, Ty, say less."

Harry used his free hand to hit Yusef in his head, causing Yusef to frown but say nothing else. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that Harry and Yusef were an old married couple.

Tyler merely chuckled and shook his head as Coach blew his whistle.

"Yusef, you weirdo, I don't care where you talk about whatever you were just talking about, but it sure as hell can't be here."

Yusef's pout deepened before he looked at Tyler and winked, causing Tyler to wink back, his single dimple making an appearance as a grin tugged at the edges of his lips.

"You boys honestly confuse me more than the new math that they're teaching my son. How do you change math? It's math!" He shook his head. "Anyway, good teamwork today. We're on track to bring back another win and make those Gregson Gator's wish they were never born!"

A chorus of cheers filled the air, including my own. The rush of excitement that rushed through me at the thought of getting back on the field for the first time in what felt like years momentarily filled the void that my break up with Tyler left in my chest.

"Trojans on three, Trojans on me!" Tyler yelled in the excitement. "One, two, three–"

"Trojans!" Everyone yelled before various whoops and hollers filled the air, a sense of victory thriving within each of us though the game itself was still days away.

As I started making my way back to the locker room, Ian slung his arm across my shoulder. "Hey man, so Lelani's dad works for Broadway and he got us some tickets to see this musical 'Beetlejuice' or whatever tonight, and I need your help picking out an outfit. Like, do I wear a suit or all black or– wait if I wore all black, wouldn't I get lost in the dark? But I can't wear bright colors either or that would be too distracting. I don't know, Addi," he whined, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Look man, just go home and FaceTime me and we can go from there, alright?"

He nodded. "I'm nervous."

"Why? You're literally going to sit in the dark to watch a musical. You don't even have to worry about talking or anything. It's literally perfect, and you get to see Beetlejuice? Lucky."

He shook his head, his dark, sweat-drenched locks spastically moving back and forth as he did so. "That's not it, Addi. I'm meeting her dad for the first time. I mean, like, I know it's not like the official 'meeting the parents' thing, but still, it's nerve-racking."

I clapped him on his back as we entered the locker room before I directed him to a bench. "Alright Ian, calm down. Tell me...tell me about your first date with Lelani. You two went to the arcade, right? How'd you come up with the idea? How was it? Tell me everything." When Ian and I were younger, I'd quickly learned that he was someone who did better if he talked out his problems to someone who was actively listening rather than having someone simply telling him what to do before sending him off. So, for the next ten or so minutes, I sat there listening to him gush about how amazing Lelani was and how badly he wanted to impress her family despite the fact that they'd been together for less than two weeks. By the time he was finished, he seemed much calmer and ready to tackle his next obstacle: getting home and finding something to wear.

"Alright, I'll call you when I get home," Ian said as he stood up and glanced at the clock he lowly cursed as he nearly ran to his locker and started pulled out his normal clothes.

"Woah, Ian, you're not going to take a shower first?" I asked as I leaned against his locker and watched him take his clothes off faster and way less sexy than Magic Mike.

He shook his head. "Nope, I don't have the time. I need to hurry so I don't miss my train. I'll shower when I get home."

"For Lelani's sake, I hope you do."

Ian flipped me off before he finished hurriedly changing clothes. I walked by and patted him on the back as I walked by him. "Alright, good luck. I'm going to jump in the showers."

"Alright man, later," Ian said before I made my way to the showers. Virtually everyone was gone, leaving me alone with the warm water and my thoughts. I grabbed a few towels before I shamelessly stripped out in the open knowing that if Ian saw me it wouldn't be a big deal and if anyone else happened to stumble in, I'd be blessing their eyes.

I simply stood beneath the showerhead for what felt like hours, basking in the feeling of the hot water weaving itself through my hair and down my body. After a few moments, I started washing myself, cleansing my body of the stress and heaviness of the day and relaxing my muscles.

After about eight minutes or so, I turned off the water and started drying off starting at my head and ending at my feet. Once I was content, I wrapped my towel around my waist and opened the shower curtains. I was just about to step out when a voice called, "Aye, Coach, you still here?"

Before I could close the curtains and hide from the inevitable heartbreak I would face, Tyler was in front of me. A look of shock filled his face once he realized that I wasn't the person he was looking for. He was already back in his normal clothes and had his backpack slung over his shoulder.

A million things ran through my mind as words fought for dominance on my tongue. But, much like he'd done on the field, as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, he turned and walked away.

My knees suddenly felt weak and tears filled my lash line as the stoic look that had taken refuge on his face flashed in my brain. He was disgusted. Who was I kidding? After the damage I'd done to him and the position I'd put him in, I was surprised that he could stand to look at me for as long as he did. I wrapped my arms around myself in an effort to console the aching feeling within my chest.

But, before I could fall into the fit of hysterics that was raging within me, I saw Tyler come back from behind a row of lockers, a determined look in his eyes. "Screw this," he muttered, before he gripped the back of my neck and pulled me in, but stopped right before his lips met mine.

His eyes met mine as I looked at him in shock. I was shaking. "May I?"

Every word I knew failed to come into existence, so I mutely nodded. Then his lips were right back where they were meant to be: on mine.

He slowly led me backward until we were back in the shower and my back was against the wall. His large, calloused hands gently gripped my face and I held onto his wrists for dear life, afraid he'd turn and leave just as quickly as he'd come. As we kissed, the tears I'd been fighting back for so long finally escaped and silently burned down my cheeks as my lips moved against his.

I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest, holding him as tightly as I could. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry," I cried into his familiar body, and to my relief, he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me with equal fervor.

"Me too," he softly said. "I...I haven't been honest with you, Addi. That's why I reacted the way I did, and I'm sorry and–"

"No, Tyler, you were completely right. I was being selfish and I put you in a terrible situation and–"

He shook his head as he cupped my face in his hands and used his thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks. "It's time for me to tell you the truth, Addi. All of it. Can I do that?"

"Of course," I whispered, and for the first time, I saw how broken he truly was as his own liquid grief pooled in his eyes. I held him close and pulled his head into my neck.

And there, in the middle of a smelly locker room shower, we mutely held each other, wordlessly communicating how much we missed one another as we cried into each other's arms.

***

Hey y'all, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and if so, feel free to comment and vote! How do you feel? What do you think Tyler's "truth" is going to be? Let me know in the comments. I hope you guys have a great rest of your week and as always, the next chapter is already available on Inkitt for free, so click on the Inkitt link in my bio! Spoiler alert: Tyler's truth is highkey kinda sad.

Stay healthy and safe!

Love y'all- Jordan