25. Concealer and Conversations

"Addi, sit still!"

"I'm trying but you're literally stabbing my eyeball!"

"You're literally stabbing my eyeball,'" Azalea mocked as she rolled her eyes. Her grip on my chin tightened as she forced my head up so she could get the awkward angle on me she wanted. "I'm almost done." She continued bouncing the sponge– some kind of beauty wedge? Beauty angular?– under my eye to blend out the concealer.

Last night while I was sketching, a secret talent I'd picked up from Papa but didn't do often, I'd made the decision to go back to school. Between the shading and strokes of the image, I found a drawing of Tyler looking back at me, frozen mid-laugh. A laugh I missed so much that my body ached. It wasn't fair that I was wallowing in self-pity at home while Tyler, as Azalea had told me, was still at school, caught in the monumental shadow of the closet that he had to remain in while Kyra lurked around every corner threatening to yank him out.

He couldn't face it alone. Not when I was the one who brought it upon him.

However, as Azalea nicely put it, I looked so sleep deprived that I made lawyers and doctors look like well-rested people. So, yesterday after she dumped all the homework I'd missed on my desk, she dragged me to the CVS a block away and picked out new concealer, and something called setting powder for me. Although I already knew the art of concealing unwanted blemishes, spots, and hickies, Azalea claimed that the art of under-eye concealer was one that took many tries to perfect. Something about cracking and blending it right or something.

She neglected to mention, however, that she'd be assaulting my eye sockets for nearly five minutes straight.

"Good, now close your eyes. I don't want the powder to get in your eyes and make you look even more sleep deprived, which I don't think is possible, but I never thought you'd willingly put makeup on you, so who knows?"

I flipped her off before I closed my eyes. I felt something soft swipe under my eyes for a few moments before she proudly announced, "Done!"

I slowly opened my eyes before she let out a squeal and turned me around to face the mirror of her vanity.

I looked...good. Like, better than good. I looked better than I could've dreamed, even with a full night's sleep. And to make things better, you couldn't even tell I had any product on. Bags? Who is she? I don't know her.

"Look, it's not a lot but see? You can't even tell the bags were there."

"Yeah, you did a good job–"

"Don't do that!" She chastised as she swatted my hand away from my newly concealed under eyes. "It's makeup, not magic, don't touch it. Now, next time we'll work out those brows and you'll be a show stopper."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, I'm perfect. Thanks, Azalea."

"Yeah, yeah, now leave. I need a bit of time to myself before school," she said as she all but picked me up and threw me out of her bedroom.

I chuckled as I granted her wish. I walked back into my room and grabbed my backpack from the foot of my bed, ignoring the sketchbook and various pencils that were still scattered all over my bed from my restless night.

I made my way to the kitchen where I heard my fathers' voices along with another one that was far too deep to be either Emerson's or Adryan's but not deep enough to be another adult's. It was familiar, but in the exhausted haze that my mind was clouded in, I couldn't pinpoint it.

Curious, I walked into the kitchen, just to see Ian sitting at my kitchen table conversing with my dads who were making their morning coffee. Once Padre saw me he smiled. "Hi, Addison."

"Hey," I waved.

"I see Azalea fixed you up," Papa said as he leaned against the counter before he sipped his coffee.

"There wasn't much to fix. As I already told her, I'm perfect," I shrugged, though the playful words felt almost wrong as they slid past my lips.

Nevertheless, Ian scoffed as he scooped a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "You know what they say: all that glitters ain't gold, bro."

"Whatever," I said as I slid past him and into the pantry where I grabbed two granola bars. Though I was still deep in the ditches of depression, I was slowly forcing myself to eat. Emotionally I was feeling a bit better having got everything off of my chest, so why not make strides toward physical health as well?

"If you wanted to insult me, that could've waited until I got to school, Ian. Why are you here, anyway?"

"Because you owe me twenty bucks," he nonchalantly said with a shrug before he gave me the "are you serious?" look. He sighed. "Dude, it's your first day back and I wanted to, I don't know, be here for support and stuff."

My rough exterior quickly melted away and I couldn't help but grin. "Thanks, Ian."

"You're welcome. But, uh, what I'm not about to do is allow you to make me late. Come on." He messily slurped down the rest of his cereal as Padre looked at Papa.

"Look at this support, Madison. Speaking of, I need to call Connor and see how Abbi and Lukas are doing."

"Oh, you're right, babe. How old is Lukas?"

"Madison, he's in college."

Papa looked at Padre shocked. "I could've sworn he was like five yesterday–"

"Ciao! Love you!" I called as Ian and I started toward the front door to which my fathers shouted back variations of "I love you" in Italian. "Azalea, we're leaving, come on!"

"Coming!" Her muffled voice called from upstairs.

"Dude, I was serious about you owing me twenty bucks though," Ian said as we waited at the bottom of the stairs for my sister.

I pitched a brow at my best friend. "Pray tell?"

"Remember freshman year when you said you'd pay me twenty bucks if I went on a date with Lelani?'

"Yeah...?"

"Well," he said as he pulled out his phone and after tapping on it, he showed me a snapchat video of him and Lelani at the three-story arcade a few blocks away playing Mario Kart. She was spastically laughing with a gorgeous smile on her face as she raced. She then broke out into an adorable victory dance once she won. Ian's laughter was heard through the video as it zoomed in on her. She then realized she was being recorded and the most adorable pout spread across her lips before she started laughing again, burying her face in Ian's chest to muffle her laughter. Then the video stopped and Ian presented me his palm. "Twenty bucks."

"Tomorrow, 'kay? I don't have cash on me."

"Humph, that's what you always say."

"And I always pay, do I not?"

"Not!" Azalea interjected as she bounded down the stairs. "You still owe me like a hundred and fifty bucks."

"Well you're my sister, so it's different."

"That's what they always say," she parroted before she gave Ian a quick hug. "Hey, Ian."

"Hey, Azzy. We all ready to go?"

"Yay, now I have two people to keep me from jumping in front of a train and putting myself out of my misery. So exciting," I said, causing Azalea to shove me.

"Keep that up and I'll throw you in front of the train myself."

"Ditto!" Ian agreed before we left the apartment and started our journey to school.

I had to admit that it felt good having my two best friends by my side, and though I would get slightly annoyed when they'd sneakily try to glance at me as if to make sure I wouldn't actually throw myself in front of a train, I felt happy knowing that they cared.

Before long, we were at school. I momentarily forgot the organized chaos that regularly ran rampant within the halls. Once we walked in, Azalea started looking around for someone. "Azzy, who are you–" I started but my words died on my lips once I saw Josh approaching with a cup of coffee and a bag from a local donut shop. She smiled before she turned to me.

"Alright, I'll see you later. Ian, make sure you look after him."

Ian mocked saluted. "Aye, aye, captain!"

Azalea gave me a quick hug before she hurried over to Josh, who instantly wrapped one arm around her waist and used the other to offer her food. Azalea graciously took it before she placed a shameless kiss on his lips. It was obvious that she liked him a lot, so that made it even more imperative that I interrogated him to make sure he was actually worthy of my sister.

Before they disappeared into the throng of students, Josh turned and waved at both Ian and I. We waved back though I couldn't help the hole that dug itself into my chest. Both my sister and my best friend were in relationships that seemed to be flourishing while I was still grieving the death of mine. But I knew that I couldn't let on to how much it affected me because if I did, they'd keep their boyfriend and girlfriend, respectively, at an arm's length, and they couldn't be punished by something I did. So with that, I turned to Ian and put my hands on his shoulders.

"I'm fine now, man. Thanks for coming to get me, now go find your little girlfriend or whatever, she's probably waiting for you."

Ian raised a brow. "No, bro, we're in this together, remember? You can't get rid of me that easily."

"That we are, but that doesn't mean that you have to neglect your girlfriend because of me. Go, I'll be fine and I'll see you later."

Ian sighed. "Fine, but I'm only going because I know you're telling not asking."

I grinned. "Correct again."

Ian left reluctantly and I felt the tension that was pooling in my body finally release itself. I had no urge to go to meet with the boys at our usual hangout spot nor did I want to go to my first hour early–especially because I was feeling particularly uninspired–so I opted to go to the one place I knew I could get away, though I knew it would be a long shot: the studio.

As I walked to the opposite side of the building, I was continuously reminded that I was likely wasting my time. Tyler was the only person other than the teacher who had the keys to unlock the old studio, and it was only left unlocked if Tyler planned to go back, and now that we weren't together, there likely wasn't a reason for him to come back. Nevertheless, I allowed my tired legs to carry me toward the familiar pocket away from reality.

The studio was in sight, a few meters or so away, when I saw the door open and none other than Tyler step out. I stopped in place and watched as he wiped his nose. Though he hadn't seen me, or if he did he didn't let on to it, I saw him, man did I see him. It could've been my eyes playing cruel tricks on me, but it seemed as if he'd just got done crying or hadn't gotten any sleep, but he was too far to be certain. But what was certain, however, was the lack of warmth I felt from him. He wasn't himself, I didn't have to talk to him to see it. But almost as if he had a mask on hand, the moment someone walked by him and said "hi", his usual cheery demeanor returned as if there was nothing wrong, but the moment he was alone again, his mask slipped.

It took everything within me not to run toward him and wrap my arms around him, apologizing profusely and begging him to take me back.

But I couldn't. As my dads said, I needed to respect his wishes to be left alone until we could actually try to piece things together.

So, despite my body's pull to his, I turned on my heels and walked in the opposite direction having no idea where I was going or what I was planning to do, feverishly blinking away the moisture that built up behind my lash line as I did so.

***

"Hey, Addison, come in here for a sec, would you?" Coach asked after we got into the locker room, tearing my gaze from Tyler as he effortlessly talked and joked with the other teammates as he stripped down to his boxers in preparation to shower.

I nodded and wordlessly followed him into his small office. "Sit," he said as he closed the door behind us and closed the blinds. "Addison, I know I can be hard on you and a handful at times, but I'm really worried about you kid. You don't seem much better than the last time I saw you, and you're definitely not playing like yourself. What's going on Addison? You know you can always talk to me."

A simple "I'm fine" formed on my tongue but didn't push past my lips. "I...I'm just going through some things, that's all. I'm fine."

Coach raised a skeptical brow at me and despite how much I wanted to tell him the truth and relieve a bit of the pressure that was still weighing down on my chest, I kept my mouth shut. I couldn't come out to everyone at once. I had to wait until I was ready and I definitely wasn't ready. Not yet. Once he saw I was going to remain silent, he shot me a sympathetic look as he put a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay, Addison. Just...you don't have to be so strong for everyone. If you need to take time off from playing, just let me know. You can sit on the sidelines and write down the plays for me or something. But there's no use in you being strong for everyone else if you're not being strong for yourself."

I mutely nodded, catching a common thread between the advice of my best friend, my sister, my parents and now, my coach– stop trying to hold everyone up when it cost me my own sanity.

He sighed, recognizing that my stubbornness was too great for my own good or for him to battle. "Alright, well, I need you to run to the gym for me. I have a bag of extra footballs and we need them for practice tomorrow. I would get it but I need to hurry home to help my wife with some things. Can you do that for me?"

I mutely nodded and he clapped me on the shoulder. "Thanks, Addi. Take care of yourself, alright? Try...I don't know, a warm bath or something. At least that's what helps me when I'm stressed."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Okay, Coach, I'm goin'." I didn't waste a second exiting his office and walking out of the locker room, not bothering to look back.

Before long, I was at my final destination, and though I instantly saw the bag of footballs that I was looking for, something stopped me. Rather, someone stopped me.

Kyra was sitting on the bleachers, typing away a message on her phone. Almost as if she sensed my presence, she looked up. A mix of anxiety and anger burned through me and I didn't know what I wanted to do: turn and run away or scream at her until I passed out.

I decided to go with option three: neither. I broke eye contact with her before I started walking straight for the bag of footballs.

"Addi," she called, though there was a condescending tone in her voice. I clenched my jaw and ignored her as my pace quickened. "Addison."

I wrapped my hands around the strap of the bag and pushed down the urge to throw the bag at her to get her to shut up. It was socially unacceptable, and no matter how much I strongly disliked her, I couldn't get an assault charge over it. Besides, she still had major dirt on Tyler and I, and despite my short temper, I knew better than to risk it.

"Addison–"

"What do you want, Kyra?" I snapped, finally looked up at her. She'd transitioned into a standing position and was a few steps away from the bleachers she'd been perched on like an owl waiting for prey.

She raised a brow at me. "Nice to see you too."

"I don't have any pleasantries for you," I stoically said as I slung the bag over my shoulder. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get this back to coach."

To my surprise, but thankfully, she didn't try to stop me. I made it halfway across the gym in peace before she yelled, "Tell Tyler I said hi."

Those five words made me stop in my tracks as anger and anguish festered within me.

I turned on my heels and within moments, I was standing a foot in front of her. A smug look was plastered across her once beautiful face. "Don't say that to me again. Ever."

She feigned a frown and cocked her head to the side. "Why? Is there trouble in paradise?"

"You already know the answer to that question," I seethed, and I had to stop myself from proclaiming that I would do everything in my power to make things right between Tyler and I, but I remembered what my fathers said: make her think she'd won, which she had...for now.

"Awe, too bad. You two were cute together."

I sighed as I dropped the bag and allowed the tough exterior I was holding in front of me like a shield crumble to the ground. "You did it, Kyra. You won, is that what you wanted to hear? We broke up. He broke up with me because of what I did to you. He hates me for the position I put both of you in. So you won. You won, you won, you won. Happy now?"

A look that I couldn't decipher flashed across her face that eerily reminded me of the girl I'd called mine once upon a time. "Did it hurt?" Her voice was so soft that it was nearly swallowed by the tense air between us before it reached my ears.

I scoffed. "Like hell. Still does. So, mission accomplished."

I grabbed the bag and slung it over my shoulder before I looked at Kyra but her eyes wouldn't meet mine. I could've sworn I saw shame swimming in her brown eyes, but I didn't spend too much time pondering over it as I turned on my heels and walked all the way back to Coach's office.

A part of me wanted to check and see if Tyler was waiting for me the way he usually did, but I knew better. So instead, I dropped the bag off in Coach's office and stood in the shower alone, my silent tears mixed with the cold water that rained down on me.

***

Hey y'all, I hope you enjoyed this double update. Fair warning, my updating schedule might get messed up because I've started my senior year of high school and with that comes tests, college applications, and a ton of stress, so if my schedule gets wonky, please forgive me. If you enjoyed this chapter, leave a comment and vote and all that fun stuff. And, as always, if you want to read the next chapter before it's here on Wattpad, click the Inkitt link in my bio.

Stay safe and healthy.

Love y'all- Jordan