19. Zombies of Loved Ones

"...and that is why High School Musical Two is the best out of all of them. I mean, it had the right amount of drama, moral lessons, and songs, and they snuck Miley Cyrus in at the end. It's obviously the superior movie," Tyler concluded, causing me to laugh as I sat next to him on the floor of Studio A. It'd been nearly a week since everything had happened and I was slowly allowing myself to feel okay again. Sure, I'd still have those moments where it felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest and I'd fall into an insurgent fit of hysteric tears and screams, but those moments and thoughts no longer ruled my day. I'd given Kyra her space and made no attempts to contact or talk to her. The ball was in her court and I would wait as long as necessary until she was ready to put it back into play. But I still got a pang in my chest every time we'd lock eyes in the hallway or when I was reminded of the countless adorable things she used to do.

I'd allowed myself to fall back into Tyler, enjoying his kisses and touches and random tangents about whatever was on his mind. Practice had ended a while ago and, after almost being caught by coach in the locker room a few days prior, we'd decided to spend our time together in the studio where it was secluded and quiet so all I had to worry about was focusing on the boy that made my insides tingle.

"What about the first movie? Now that was a cinematic masterpiece," I countered as I played with his fingers, his whole right arm slung over my shoulders as he held me in a side hug.

"Masterpiece it is, the best in the series, it is not."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, but you can't say that 'Bop to the Top' wasn't iconic and a literal cultural reset." My inner Addison nearly cringed at how textbook gay that sounded. All I needed to do was have a limp wrist and I'd be the living embodiment of the stereotypical gay in every movie and TV show ever.

Tyler chuckled. "You're right again. 'Bop to the Top' walked so that every other Disney original song could run. Same thing for the whole Cheetah Girls discography, but you're not ready for that conversation yet."

I couldn't help the next bout of laughter that was pulled from my lips as I leaned closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. "You're such a loser, Ty."

"Yeah, but I'm your loser."

A grin tugged at the corners of my lips at the fact he'd called himself mine. Even though we still didn't have an official title, I knew that I was helplessly wrapped around his finger and was completely and utterly whipped for him, no doubt about it. But hearing him say those five simple words made me melt impossibly more.

He must've known the effect he was having on me, because his beautiful smile took refuge on his face, the smile that I fell for over and over again no matter how many times I'd seen it. Every day I was with the boy whose arms I was in, I found something else to fall for about him that made me go head over heels. I could only hope he felt the same about me.

I smiled up at him, our noses gently brushing. "Yeah, you are."

Our lips gently met one another's. It didn't take long before we ended up in the position we always did: me straddling his lap so I was slightly taller than him and his hands securely on my lower back. In this position we both held an equal amount of power where I could maintain control or, with one swift motion, he could steal it from me and I'd follow his lead without resistance or hesitation. Luckily, however, neither one of us tried to take over or deepen the kiss to make it anything more than just that–a kiss, one of the purest forms of communication.

My phone suddenly buzzed in my pocket. Learning from my last mistake of not paying attention to my messages, I pulled away, but Tyler's lips chased mine and within a second our lips were connected once more. A whisper of a laugh escaped my lips and pressed against his. "Babe, stop, this could be important."

I'd caught my slip up as soon as the sentence slid past my lips and a blush ignited on my cheeks as Tyler fully pulled away from me, a grin on his lips. "Oh, so I'm babe now?"

My blush deepened as I broke eye contact. I found myself blushing a lot around him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to–"

I was cut off by him putting a finger to my lips, effectively silencing me. "It's okay. I like it, babe." The way the simple nickname easily slid past his lips and into my ears caused a warm feeling to bloom in my chest and tingles to fester beneath my knee caps.

"Oh, okay," I said with a nervous chuckle. He pressed another kiss to my lips before he started gently pecking down my jawline. As he did so, I pulled out my phone with one hand to check my notifications and gently gripped the back of his neck with the other as he continued kissing toward my neck. "It's info about our game against Olzae High this weekend, I think you need to read it, it's important," I said as I skimmed the information in the email that'd been sent to the team.

"Really?" he asked as he pulled away and pulled out his own phone.

"Yeah," I said as I rested my cheek on his shoulder and continued scrolling through the incredibly long email that included scouts that would be in attendance among other important info.

"Huh," Tyler said as he gently set his chin on my opposite shoulder and scrolled through the email as well, using his free hand to lightly drum on my butt, a habit he usually displayed when he was focused, not that I minded.

I was almost done reading the email when a new notification caused my phone to vibrate, this time a text message.

Babygirl <3: meet n the gym in 3. If ur already gone, meet me 2morrow same place before school.

My throat became dry, not only out of anticipation due to Kyra and I not communicating at all up until his point, but also out of pain as I realized I hadn't changed her name in my contact. I swallowed, my salvia feeling really weird as it traveled down my throat before I quickly typed back.

Me: of course. B right there.

When I was done, I pulled my head off of Tyler's shoulder and shoved my phone back into my pocket. "I gotta go." I abruptly stood up and stretched, causing a symphony of pops to fill the air as my back bent and flexed. Tyler cringed at the sound.

"Is everything okay?" he timidly asked, obviously still feeling the effects of my bone cracks.

"Yeah, Ky wants to talk."

His eyebrows furrowed as his expression became serious. "Really?"

"Yeah," I said as I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulders before I pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "I'll see you later, okay? Text me when you get home and tell your dad I said hi."

"Okay," he said as he too got up and slung his backpack over his shoulders and followed me out of the studio. "Be careful, okay?"

"I will," I said as I looked down the hallway to make sure we were in the clear before I pressed one final kiss to his lips. I couldn't wait around for him to lock up the studio before I made my way to the gym. It was on the other side of school and I only had two minutes left to get there and the last thing I wanted to do was leave Kyra waiting.

With every step I took anxiety and curiosity fought for dominance within me.

I tried to plan ahead for every possible conversation and prep my plays as if this were a football game. That way I could feel like I had some kind of control over this unpredictable situation. But I quickly realized that all I could do was say a silent prayer and hope that God or Kyra wouldn't be too harsh on me.

As I walked into the gym I instantly saw Kyra sitting on the bleachers wearing her dance team jacket and a pair of leggings. Her long hair was pulled into a high bun and she had 3 bags around her, two I recognized as her backpack and her dance team duffel and one I didn't.

I cautiously approached her, trying to read her expression to determine if I should go the friendly and familiar route or the direct route. As her eyes met mine, they were almost void of emotion, which was far scarier than rage or hatred. It was like she was just a shell of the girl I'd know, the girl whose touch had once brought me to my knees. Had I truly been the one to suck that light and pure joy out of her, leaving her empty inside? The very thought made me nauseous. "Hey, Ky," I greeted as I sat across from her, allowing her to keep her personal space.

"Hi, Addison." Her voice was very to-the-point and her eyes were very dull, keeping the strong barrier that hid her true thoughts and emotions. I didn't like not being able to read her.

I sighed. "Look, Kyra, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you and the thing with Ty–"

"Stop, Addison, I don't want to hear it," she said, putting her hand up. I shut my mouth and didn't offer a breath of resistance to her wants. "You may think that you didn't mean to hurt me, but you did, and now you have to deal with that. Besides, that's not what we're here for." She grabbed the other duffel bag I didn't recognize and threw it at my feet. "That's all your stuff. I don't want it anymore."

"Kyra, please–"

"You know what else? I also don't appreciate you telling Azalea to stay away from me. What, did you think I'd go after her to get to you or something? Addison, that's low and you know I'd never do that."

Shock and guilt wrapped their cold fingers around my throat and squeezed, making it hard to breathe but leaving barely enough room for my words to get through. "How did you know?"

Suddenly, her rough exterior crumbled like a sandcastle revealing how hurt she was. She broke eye contact but I could see the new wave of tears building behind her waterline, but they weren't sad as much as they were angry. "I didn't. I mean, I had a hunch when she started avoiding me and now you just confirmed it...Addison, honestly, what the hell? You did this to me! You hurt me! You broke me, but I'm the bad guy? What did I do? Was I not good enough? Did you just stop loving me like my dad did with my mom? Or was it because you wanted to be butt-buddies with Tyler so you decided to betray me? For him? After everything we've been through and all the promises we made, you threw it all away for some guy?" Her voice was quickly approaching yelling volume, causing anxiety to start gnawing its way through me as well as anger at her referring to Tyler in such a disrespectful manner.

"Kyra, please keep your voice down–"

"Are you serious? After everything I've said you're more worried that someone's gonna hear your little secret than everything else you've done?"

"Ky, I've been trying to apologize and explain–"

"Well, I don't care. Addison Michael Bruno-Williams is a fairy! He's a queer! He's a little cock-sucker for–"

"Kyra, stop it!" My voice came out far harsher than I'd meant for it to, but her words died on her lips though a fire was still burning behind her deep brown eyes. I took a deep breath to calm myself from the pain her bitter words had sliced into me, a weird kick of adrenaline moving through my body. "Look, Kyra, I'm sorry okay, but don't drag Tyler into this, he didn't do anything, I came onto him after we went on break. It was all me. The same thing with you, Ky, you did nothing wrong, it was all me. You were perfect–you are perfect and all of this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I can't really describe it other than my heart changing its course, and I promise, I swear to God I tried to hold on to you for as long as I could and tried to find anchors in every kiss and touch and laugh and moment of silence that I could but I just...I don't know I couldn't, and I regret that more than anything: that I lost you to myself.

"I tried to fight it as long as I could, but I knew that it wouldn't make either of us truly happy if I tried to keep dragging this out after I knew the feelings had faded. It wouldn't be fair to you. And I still love you, Kyra, I do and I don't want you to doubt that, but...it's just not the kind of love you want or deserve because you deserve far more than I can give you."

"But you can give it to Tyler?" Her voice broke as the question softly left her lips as tears were now freely flowing from her eyes.

"I..." I started but I honestly didn't know if I could answer it. Sure I liked Tyler, a lot, but did I love him? Could I? A part of me already knew the answer and it made my heart sink down into my toes. "I'm sorry, Kyra, that's all I can say. I'm still confused and trying to figure everything out. I just...I know what I did was stupid and wrong on so many levels, but I'm hoping that one day, maybe, you'll forgive me and we can just be friends or something."

She scoffed. "Friends? After you broke my heart that same way my father broke my mother's? After you went behind my back and hooked up with another guy? God, I'm stupid, I should've seen it in the way you two were looking at each other even before we went on break which, mind you, you promised to come back to me from. And now you wanna be friends?" She shook her head and laughed, though the usually melodic sound was now bitter and harsh. "Addison, you do realize that if I can cut off my dad without remorse, I can do the same to you, right? And although I can't make my dad pay for what he did to my mom, I sure as hell can make you. Since you hurt me out of the blue, I have every right to do the same to you and you'll always have to wonder 'Will this be the day she tells? Has she already told?'."

My terror must've shown on my face because a sick grin spread across her face.

"I honestly don't know if I will or won't, so I guess that remains to be seen for both of us. But you do know what they say: revenge is one hell of a drug and with everything that's happened, I think I deserve a little high."

Panic was now draped over my shoulders like a heavy blanket, absorbing me and further suffocating me. This couldn't be happening. It wasn't. The Kyra I knew, the Kyra I loved would never do something like this no matter badly she was hurt. But the girl in front of me wasn't the Kyra I knew or loved. I'd killed that Kyra. I'd pointed the gun to her head the first time my heart had fluttered for Tyler, and I'd pulled the trigger the night I'd pressed my lips to his. This was a zombified version of her, a stranger with the same face, voice, and eyes as the dead girl I'd called myself loving once upon a time.

"K-Kyra, please don't do this. I-I'm not ready, please don't do this."

"It sucks when someone you thought you could trust suddenly stabs you in the back and watches you bleed, doesn't it?" She coldly said though I could still see the raging emotions creating a storm behind her eyes. She then grabbed her bags, slung them over her shoulder, and hopped off the bleachers. "Bye, Addison."

I sat frozen, watching her leave and completely unable to process what had just happened.

"Oh and, Addi," she said, turning back to me once she'd made it halfway across the gym. "Don't talk to me again or you will seriously regret it." And with that, she continued her way out of the gym.

My body shook like an earthquake as tears were pulled from me. I wanted to run after her, scream, curse her for being so heartless and cold, but all I could do was stay glued in place as pained whimpers were pulled from deep within my chest. My whole body felt numb and my skull felt like it was going to explode into a supernova. I could only hope it would create a black hole and pull me out of existence.

All thoughts in my brain were replaced by pure panic and no matter how much I wanted to call for help from somebody, anybody, I remained still, as if I were cast in an iron maiden with spikes of shame, guilt, anger, and terror piercing through my soft, exposed flesh. They sank deeper into my very being at the thought that at this very moment, Kyra could be outing me to the world. The very thought caused me to cry even more.

I stayed glued in place for so long that the motion-activated lights in the gym began shutting off and I was surrounded by cold air.

I'd been violently thrown back to square one with only a single question in my mind: what am I going to do now?

***

So yeah...that happened. Needless to say that the upcoming chapters are going to be full of conflict and a bit of sadness. What would you do if you were Addison? What do you think of Kyra's reaction? How do you think Addison is going to handle this? Let me know in the comments and don't forget to vote! Honestly, writing this story is giving me a much-needed break from my life full of college applications, surgery recoveries, and sickness, and I love reading y'all's comments and reviews. They honestly make my day and remind me why I do what I do. You guys honestly mean everything to me and I love each and every one of you guys.

Okay, I'm done with the sappy stuff, but I'll remind you that the next chapter is already up on Inkitt (I literally uploaded it a 4am this morning before I went to sleep lol) so check it out if you want to. It's...a bit sad and a bit happier and loaded with a lot of drama. Love y'all :)

Stay safe and healthy- Jordan