16. Burn In Hell

Above I attached "Easy" by Troye Sivan. It really captures the last half of this chapter. Also, double update in one week, who am I? Strap in because it's a doozie.

***

The sound of my heart hammering in my chest and the sound of dishes scraping against each other battled for dominance in my ears.

I'd floated through the day, not fully there mentally unless Ty was by my side. From my first period to my train ride home, my insides were anxiously buzzing with anticipation. Tyler was coming here to have dinner with my family. To Azalea and my other siblings, it would just seem like I'd invited a friend over to hang out, but to Padre and Papa, they knew it meant more. So much more.

I was wondering if inviting him so soon was a mistake.

Though we'd been content keeping our relationship— if you could even really call it that— labelless, now I was second-guessing everything I did, trying not to come off too strong too fast. I had to admit I was falling. Hard. Every smile he threw my way, every melody that made up his laugh, every bout of warmth he sent through my body by simply smiling made me fall deeper and deeper into him, like I was trapped in quicksand. I liked him a lot, and that, like most things that'd been happening recently, scared me. I really didn't want to mess this up.

I glanced at the clock as I put the finishing touches on the meal I'd created. Tyler had texted me fifteen minutes ago that he was on his way. Any second I'd get the text confirming his arrival. The very thought made my hands sweaty.

I'd made my family's favorite dish of mine: bucatini with lemony carbonara. I'd also made freshly squeezed lemonade and salad. I just hoped Tyler would like it. Kyra never really did. Yeah, she'd pretend but she was more of a basic Olive-Garden-Italian kind of girl. But he was...different.

"Everything smells good, Addison," Azalea said as she wandered into the kitchen. Her hair was newly styled, this time she had two braids leading into a high puff. She had a scarf wrapped around the front of her hair, likely to lay down her intricate edges. I'd never understood how she did it. Even when she tried to teach me, I was left with more confusion than answers. And a whole lot of hair gel stuck to my hands.

She was a wizard.

"Thanks, Azzy." She approached my side as she slid her phone into her back pocket, likely texting Josh again. According to Tyler, he'd seen them becoming closer and closer. Holding hands, even a few kisses here and there. As much as I wanted to interrogate her and grill Josh harder than a barbeque, I wasn't the one to judge someone about secret relationships, a pot kettle thing.

She raised a brow as she looked at me, her deep brown eyes filled with amusement. "You're sweating bullets, Addison. What's up with you?" There was a certain tease in her voice that nudged me.

I chuckled, trying to brush it off. "Nothing. I'm just hot and I've been working really hard on this."

"Vedo (I see). Go change your shirt and wipe that look of impending doom off your face, Addi. It doesn't suit you. I'll make sure the little demons don't eat it before dinner starts."

I rolled my eyes before I gently pushed her on her forehead, causing her head to fall back. "Thanks, Azalea. You know, you're really not that bad when you're not being annoying. Dovresti farlo più spesso (you should do it more often)."

She swatted my hand away before she gave me a sickly sweet smile as she flipped me off. "Love you to, fratello (brother)."

I chuckled before I hurried upstairs and did as I was told. I changed into a simple sweatshirt and a pair of gray sweatpants. I looked around my room. I'd made sure that it was as clean and presentable as possible. If we made it back here after dinner, which I was endlessly hoping for, I wanted it to be as clean as possible. I looked at my bed, the one we'd sat shoulder to shoulder a bit over a week ago would be the same one that could harbor other deeds. A shiver ran down my spine just thinking about it.

I'd never been so eager in my life. My own want was surprising even to myself.

I looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath, calming my racing mind. This was just another family dinner. The only difference was that Tyler was going to be there. At that dinner table for those 30 or so minutes in the eyes of my siblings, nothing had changed. Except everything had.

The buzz that came from my pocket caused me to jump. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the notification. Tyler was on his way up. I hurried to my dad's room, nearly running into them as they were coming out. "Whoa, Addison, what's the rush?" Papa asked.

"Tyler is on his way up. I just wanted to make sure that things stay...normal, okay? I don't want things to be awkward."

Padre quirked a brow. "Awkward. At a family dinner? Never." Playfulness dripped from every syllable.

"Da che pulpito viene la predica! ("Look from which pulpit this sermon is coming!" which basically means "look who's talking!")" Papa said with a laugh. "Remember my first dinner at your house? It was so awkward, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife."

"Madison!"

"Dad!"

Padre and I said at the same time, the only difference was that Padre was laughing and I was not.

"It was 'awkward' because you showed up at my house totally unannounced!"

"Actually, Noah, as I recall, you knew about the dinner, so I wasn't 'unannounced'."

"Okay, correction: I knew that I was supposed to be having dinner with a friend of my Nona's and his son, I didn't know it would be you, and you fully knew it would be me! Not to mention how you flirted with me the whole time and look at me that way, and you know what I'm talking about."

Papa chuckled as he put his hands around Padre's waist and pulled him closer. "You mean look at you like this." I instantly saw Padre helplessly melt in Papa's arms.

"Yes, exactly like that," Padre said, looking up at Papa like a lovesick teenager. I wondered if Tyler and I would ever look at each other like that. I couldn't say I'd be opposed to it. But what I was opposed to, however, was the fact they were leaning in for a kiss. That meant I wouldn't be able to get their attention for at least 5 minutes and Tyler could arrive in the next 5 seconds. I had to admit, despite them being married for so long, they still act like they're in the honeymoon phase of their relationship: always touchy-touchy and affectionate all the time, even in the most inopportune times such as this.

"You two can do all that in a second, but I'm serious. Please, I don't want this to be weird. It's already weird enough as it is, and with you two knowing, that makes it even more awkward. I just want tonight to be perfect."

"Addison, it'll only be awkward if you make it awkward," Papa said. "We've been in your shoes before. We'll save all the boyfriend interrogations for after you're fully out." A chuckle tagged itself to the end of his sentence.

I blushed as I looked away. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Yet," Padre said before he reached over and ruffled my hair. "Don't worry about us, Addison. Just have a good time with your family and your friend, okay?"

I offered them both a grin. "O-Okay. Thanks."

I hurried away before any more words could be exchanged. I'd barely made it to the bottom of the stairs before I got another text from Tyler. He was here. I took a deep breath, said a silent prayer, then opened the door.

As soon as my eyes met his, a weird calming sensation moved through me. Like everything was going to be ok.

"Hey," I said, a smile instantly growing across my face.

"Hey." His voice was a bit soft as he spoke. "Thanks for inviting me."

"No problem, come in," I said as I stepped out of the way so he could enter. Before we started down the hallway toward the living room and kitchen.

"I'm warning you: my family is insane, so be prepared for that."

Tyler lifted an eyebrow that had a natural perfect arch in it. "You said that last time I was here."

"Yeah, but last time you weren't actually with them. Now you are. So be prepared."

"And I'm warning you: if you don't live up to the standards you set, we're going to have a problem."

I grinned, as I stopped in my tracks causing him to stop as well. I looked up at him."And what are you going to do if I do?"

He took a step toward me, chills running through me as his eyes shamelessly looked me up from head to toe. He gently gripped my chin and turned my head so my neck was exposed to him. He used his opposite hand to gently stroke my hidden healing hickeys he'd left. I couldn't help but shiver beneath his touch. His lips turned up in a grin as a mischievous look filled his eyes. "I guess you'll have to find out."

The simple sentence and the way he looked at me was enough to make my heart race and my hips ache for the familiar feeling of his as my lips tingled, calling to his. As if he heard the call, his eyes quickly flickered to my lips. My tongue instinctively darted out to moisten them. He moved closer and I let him gently press me against the wall. The hand that had gripped my chin was now tenderly cupping my cheek and the hand that had sent shivers down my vertebrae with a single stroke was now gripping my hips. Before he could do what I desperately wanted him to, I gently put my hand on his chest. "No, non adesso. Dopo. (No, not now. Later). Someone could catch us." The words softly departed from my lips, so softly that the air in the room nearly absorbed them before they could reach his ears.

Tyler didn't move. He stayed there looking me in the eyes, my hand on his chest. "Have I ever mentioned that I really love it when you speak Italian?"

I blushed and broke eye contact as I dropped my hand from his firm chest. "Thanks."

"What does it mean?" His thumb gently stroked my hip, filling my brain with white noise and static.

"You'll find out eventually. I'll probably say it a lot and you'll definitely hate me for it."

A grin spread across his face. "I'll live. Besides, it'll be nice having my own, really hot Italian teacher."

His words caused butterflies to erupt in my stomach. I fruitlessly tried to suppress the way the corners of my lips wanted to turn up as I rolled my eyes and reluctantly slipped away from his captivating touch. "Whatever. Just don't go off saying stuff like that at the table. My family doesn't know anything and I'd like to keep it that way for the time being."

"Okay, okay. Addi, you're no fun. Live a little."

"With both know I'm plenty of fun," I teased before we emerged into the living room where Emerson and Adryan were playing on the floor as the TV played cartoons in the background.

"Alright you two, andiamo (let's go). Dinner's ready. Tyler's joining us again."

Emerson looked up at Tyler. "There's a new boy in my class named Tyler. I kicked him in the shin for saying that boys are better than girls," she stated very matter-of-factly.

"Emerson!" I said, not in a chasting way, but more of a shocked way as Azalea laughed from the kitchen.

"I guess violence runs in the family; first Addi beat up Tommy Burger in elementary school and now Emmy is following suit. I might as well punch someone at school so I can join in on the fun."

"Ooh, can I punch someone at my school too? There's this kid named Jamie in my class and he stole my black crayon and—"

"There will be no punching at any schools," Papa said as he and Padre entered the room. "Hi, Tyler, how are you?"

"Dang it!" Adryan frowned. "It's not fair, they always get to have fun!"

Tyler chuckled. "Hi, Mr. Bruno and Mr. Bruno. I'm doing fine, how are you?"

"Fine, thanks for asking," Padre said.

"Good, and I just realized how confusing calling us both the same thing is, so you can call me Mr. Madison and you can call him Mr. Noah," Papa said, very much out of nowhere.

"Yes, sir— I mean, yes Mr. Madison," Tyler respectfully said, remembering how my fathers didn't like to be called "sir" because it made them feel old before he knelt down to Emerson's level and softly said, "I promise that boys aren't better than girls. Boys are stupid sometimes."

Emerson grinned in triumph before she turned to me. "I like him."

He winked at her before he raised his hand and she instantly high fived it.

"Alright, everyone wash your hands," Azalea announced as she finished doing so. Emerson and Adryan instantly jumped up before they rushed to the bathroom down the hall since it had their step stools, and Papa and Padre followed closely behind them. They'd made the mistake of trusting them to wash their hands on their own and within thirty seconds, the faucet was broken and Adryan had soap in his eye. Those two were something else, I had to say.

Tyler and I washed our hands in the sink in the kitchen, and electricity would shoot through me every time our arms gently brushed against each other's. Whether it was intentional or not, Tyler was affecting me. No matter how many times our bodies touched, each time felt like the first time: magical and serene.

Before long we were all back together in the kitchen. Since I'd made the food, Azalea gave everyone their plates and silverware. "Alright, Addison, tell us what you've made," Papa said as we all sat at the table, but I knew he wasn't saying it for their sakes, since they all knew what it was, but rather, for Tyler's sake.

"I, um, made bucatini with lemony carbonara. I also made fresh lemonade and salad."

"Buon lavoro (good job), Addison. I fully expect it to be amazing, as always," Padre said. They were putting too much praise on me, probably to help impress Tyler.

Tyler raised a brow. "Well, I'm excited about this."

Papa raised his hands, palms up, initiating for us to all hold hands for prayer before we bowed our heads and closed our eyes. Since I'd made the meal, I had to pray. "Benedici, Signore, noi e questi tuoi doni, che stiamo per ricevere dalla tua generosità. Per Cristo nostro Signore. Amen (Lord, bless us and these gifts of yours, which we are about to receive from your generosity. For Christ our Lord. Amen.)."

They all repeated "Amen". Once I opened my eyes and looked up, Tyler, who was sitting next to me, was looking at me with embers of a fire burning behind his eyes. Have I ever mentioned that I really love it when you speak Italian? His words from earlier bounced around my skull like a bouncy ball. Heat rushed to my cheeks as I broke eye contact and everyone started eating.

Emerson and Adryan's voices instantly filled the air with our fathers' voices joining in every now and then. I remained occupied with my delicious creation and I had to admit that it was good. I hadn't lost my touch.

"I must say, Addi, you blew away all of my expectations. This is amazing, I should come around more often" Tyler said, gently elbowing me as he spoke. To everyone around us, it seemed like an innocent compliment that a friend would give a friend, but everyone around us didn't see the embers growing exponentially behind his eyes. My neck instantly tingled as I remembered the feeling of his thumb running across it.

"Well, we'd be happy to have you," Papa warmly said. "Speaking of, Tyler, how are things? Is Addi behaving?"

"I'm doing good. School's fine, football is great. But as for Addi," he said as he draped his arm across my shoulders, "he could learn to behave better. He could also learn to be quieter at times."

The hidden message in his tongue in cheek remark caused my cheeks to heat up, but I covered it up with a chuckle and a light shove. And, reminiscing on Tyler's and I's adventures, the way he'd kiss my neck and the noises he'd pull from deep within me, I guess I could be quieter at times.

"Whatever, Tyler. Keep running your mouth and see where it leads you," I bit back.

"I agree with Tyler there, Addi, you can get housebroken a bit more," Azalea butted in.

I had to resist the urge to flip her off. So, I did the next best thing. "How's your little boyfriend Josh?"

"Addison—"

"You two are holdin' hands, and kissin', and—" my words were cut off by a few leaves of salad being thrown at me.

"Azalea!" Papa said, though, much like me with Emerson, it was more out of shock than anger.

"Oops, it slipped," she innocently said as Tyler chuckled.

I scoffed. "I thought I was the one who needed to be housebroken."

"Addison, don't make me—"

"Alright, you two, calm down," Papa said, though it was obvious by the glint in his eye that he was entertained like the big kid that he was. "Anyways, Tyler, what department are you in at the school?"

"I'm in the audio department."

Padre's eyebrows shot up, impressed. "That sounds fun. What all do you do?"

Tyler started talking about the different projects that they did in the department, his words quickly captivating everyone at the table. And as he did, his hand made its way to my knee below the table. Heat moved through me that only the sun on its hottest day could rival, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It felt like a fire's first breath after spending hours in the freezing cold. I didn't realize how much I missed his touch until I had to sit right next to him without touching him in the slightest.

As he continued explaining his department, I was counting down the seconds until I could have him to myself.

***

My heart was racing as I led Tyler upstairs toward my room. My body felt like I was walking on air, the closer our bodies became, the further away from reality I felt.

Within moments we were in my room. I flipped on the lights and all but dragged him inside before I shut the door behind us. I looked up at Tyler, breathless and eager. "Kiss me," I whispered, my voice soft but filled to the brim with longing. He wasted no time obliging. We started out slow and controlled, keeping our eagerness and teenage horniness on a leash. But, as the kiss deepened, our grips on the leashes loosened until we lost our grip on them completely.

He tasted like heaven as his tongue dove deep into my mouth, and his hands under my sweatshirt released a fire within me that even hell couldn't conjure. Within moments, I felt him grab me under my thighs and pick me up, causing my legs to instantly wrap around him. A light giggle escaped my lips as I clung on for dear life.

The soft embrace of my bed quickly found me and Ty stood over me, his hips between my legs and his eyes boring into mine. In our excitement, I hadn't even realized he'd lost his shirt and it was discarded on the floor back at the door. "You should wear gray sweatpants more often. They look really good on you," he said, his hands sliding over my body.

I grinned. "You can flatter me later. But right now, I want you to take my clothes off and baciarmi (kiss me)."

"Aren't you worried someone might catch us?" he teased as he firmly gripped my hips and pulled them closer to his. Our new contact left little to the imagination. He leaned so his lips were a hair's width over mine. "You didn't even lock the door."

I put my hands on his cheeks as I pulled my eyebrows together and feigned a frown. "Come on, Tyler. Live a little," I said, throwing his words from earlier back at him despite the fact that I was 100% terrified that someone would in fact open the door and ruin this moment. But at that moment, all I could see was him. All I could feel was him. All that I wanted was him.

I pulled his face back down to mine. I wasted no time deepening the kiss myself as I slid my hands down his back and beneath the waistband of his jeans, cupping his butt through his briefs. I pulled him closer to me, causing him to roll his hips against mine. A deep groan was pulled from deep within me as a euphoric feeling unlike anything I'd ever felt moved through me. That feeling only deepened, darkened when that same groan was pulled from deep within him.

With a shift of our weight, I was on top straddling his hips and he was on the bottom. My brain was on go and all I wanted was to get that sound from him again and again and again. I kissed down his jaw to his neck. That sound filled my head again. It was a high I'd never felt before. A high that no one or nothing else could get me. And the way he said my name. My name. Mine. And it was my mark on his neck. And across his chest.

I heard my name as I started kissing down his stomach, but it sounded far away. It wasn't the voice I wanted to hear. He tightly gripped my thighs, silently urging me to keep going. My heart was racing as his waistband got closer and closer. I didn't know what was going to happen or even what I wanted to happen, but what I did know was that the way his eyes rolled back and the way he softly said, begged me to not stop would make me do anything he'd ask me to do.

But I kept hearing it, my name. It was getting closer and closer.

Tyler said my name, but this time, there was a different urgency behind it. I barely had time to look up at his face before the sound of the door opening filled my ears accompanied by a familiar voice. "Hey, Addi, sorry to come unannounced but—" Kyra's words died on her lips as she finally looked up from her phone to see me on top of Tyler, both of us shirtless and both of us in a position that couldn't easily be explained away.

Almost every expression imaginable crossed Kyra's face at that moment: shock, anger, disgust, but most of all, betrayal. I quickly climbed off of Tyler. "Kyra it's..." I started but my words died before I could finish speaking. What could I say? "It's not what you think"? That was obviously a lie and Kyra, no matter how hard it may be, deserved the truth.

Her face hardened before she looked between me and Tyler before her gaze finally rested on me again. "You're just like him."

"Ky, no, wait—" I started but she was already gone. I jumped off of Tyler and hurried out of my bedroom to see her almost at the end of the hallway toward the top of the stairs. I quickly caught up to her and grabbed her wrist. "Kyra—"

"Don't you dare touch me, Addison!" she hissed, yanking her wrist from my grasp. "You...You...." she trailed, tears welling up in her eyes, but they weren't sad tears, no. They were angry tears. Furious tears. And they were directed at me. "You knew what he did to me, to my mother. The damage, the hurt. You hugged us and smiled in our faces, making promises and pretending to be my friend, pretending to care just for you to do the same thing to me?" Her voice broke, cracked down the middle. But the look on her face, that's what shattered me. "How could you..? Why would you..?"

"Kyra, really I—"

"Shut up, Addison!" she snapped. "You're all talk. That's all you do. But do you realize the effect your words have on others? On me? I mean, saying sweet nothings, laughing with me, telling me you love me, telling me to trust you. I mean you promised you'd come back to me and..." She let out a bitter laugh, though there was nothing funny about what was going on. It felt like cotton balls were filling my lungs and shards of glass were in the air as I breathed it. My knees felt weak, not pleasant the way they'd felt mere moments ago with Tyler. I felt like I was going to pass out. I wanted to say something. Apologize, explain, promise her that I did love her and that it wasn't fake. But of the books and books of words I knew, the careful collections of descriptions I'd crafted, and the worlds of scenarios I'd written, I was utterly speechless.

She sniffed and quickly wiped her eyes. She didn't deserve to be crying or feel any of these emotions she was feeling. It was all my fault. I was a terrible person. "Tell me something, Addison." Her voice sounded so small. So defeated. So tired. I'd never heard her speak this way before, not even when she broke the news of her dad's betrayal. "Did you ever plan on getting back with me?"

I opened my mouth to say "of course", but it was my heart preventing me from telling such a lie.

My silence was her answer.

She scoffed. "Burn in hell, Addison."

She started going down the stairs, her steps heavy and radiating anger and pain. Two emotions I'd never wanted to cause anyone, let alone the girl that I'd wanted to marry and start a family with once upon a time. "Kyra wait," I called, my voice weak.

She stopped before she slowly turned to me.

"Please don't tell anyone."

My brain had barely processed that she'd quickly started climbing back up the stairs until I felt a sharp sting across my face and sharp pain in my neck due to how quickly my neck turned and how forceful the slap had been. I shakily brought my hand to my stinging cheek, pain instantly shooting through me at the slightest touch. "How dare you?" she hissed.

"Please, Kyra. I know you don't owe me anything, but please don't."

"I'm done doing things you want me to because you asked. You always asked and I've always done, but the one thing I ask you for, the one time I really needed you to just come back to me, you can't. And now you want me to..." She trailed off, shaking her head with a scoff as she started walking down the stairs. "Goodbye, Addison."

I made no attempt to follow her or say anything. Instead, I helplessly watched her go, the slam of the door was enough to shake me to my core and break the fragile facade of strength I was desperately holding on to. I pressed my back against the wall and slid down it, one hand against my cheek and the other against my chest, which felt tight. Despite my best efforts, both of my hands were trembling.

I let out a shaky breath and watched the place on the stairs that Kyra had just been standing on, my brain reeling and spinning to try to piece together exactly how this ended up happening the way it did, but no combinations of events made sense.

What just happened?

Why had she been here?

But most importantly, what was going to happen now?

***

Hey y'all, I hope you enjoyed this extra-long chapter! Whoa, a lot just happened. It's crazy. What do you think is going to happen? Do you think Kyra overreacted? Why or why not? Do you think that Addi was in the wrong? Tell me all your thoughts in the comments, and don't forget to vote if you're enjoying this book so far! Also, I've gone back and named all of the chapters. I didn't like how they were just numbers so I named them according to the "theme" of the chapter. As always, the next chapter is already available on Inkitt so check it out if you want.

Have a good rest of your week :)

Stay safe and healthy- Jordan