CH 25

Chapter 25 – Unrealistic Thoughts

“It’s alright and it tastes delicious.  This fried fish head is crispy and the meat isn’t overcooked at all……….what is this?……….”

Without chopsticks, Xiao Jingfeng used a spoon to scoop the rice.  When he inserted the spoon, it seemed to be obstructed by something and when he dug it out from the white rice, he found a hard-boiled egg.

Unable to control himself, the tears slipped down his face as he ate.  With just a glance, he knew that the egg was especially left for him……….his wife and child still thought of him.

“Is the rice……..hard to eat?”

A warm little hand caressed Xiao Jingfeng’s cheek.  He stiffened and did not dare to move but was so excited that his heart was like ten thousand horses galloping on the grassland.

“It’s good.”

“Then why are you crying?”  She helped him to wipe his tears.

“Because it is so delicious I was moved to tears.”

The little girl looks very much like her mother……..curved eyebrows, round almond-shaped eyes, and a dainty mouth.

“Don’t be afraid.  If the food doesn’t taste good, just say so.  Mother said we must tell the truth.  I don’t eat green vegetables……..but Mother forces me to eat them.  Even when I cry, Mother tells me to finish them…….”

Mother is not good…….green vegetables are bitter…….even when she cries, Mother says that if she doesn’t eat them, she won’t get a balanced nutrition and will fall sick.

What is nutrition?  Is it related to fireflies?

(The pinyin for nutrition is ‘ying-yang’ and firefly is ‘ying-huo-chong’.  The first characters of the two words start with the same pinyin ‘ying’, so Little Sister Yue thought the two things are related.”

When he received Little Sister Yue’s sympathy, Xiao Jingfeng did not know whether to laugh or cry.

“Will Mother beat you if you don’t eat them?”

Little Sister Yue shrank her neck and peeked at her mother.  “No……..but I have to eat even more……..so much…….that Yueyue is scared.”

Her small arms drew a big circle in the air to indicate the large portion of vegetables she had to eat.

“You can only grow up if you eat a lot of vegetables.  Look, Father eats a lot of vegetables.”

As soon as he spoke, the cabbage was eaten with one bite.

The little girl covered her mouth and smiled happily with her little face looking like a blooming magnolia.

“It’s Uncle, not Father………Yueyue doesn’t have a father.  Father died in the war.  You’re wrong.”

Upon hearing this, his heart broke.  “Your father is not dead.  He is…….”

“Sister Yue, it’s getting late.  Isn’t it time to go to bed?”

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“Dead men can’t be resurrected.”  He should rest in peace.

“Mother, Yueyue is not tired……..talk to Uncle.”

For the first time, she did not listen to her mother.  She wanted to spend more time with this pitiful person.

“No, you’re sleepy.  Your eyelids are already drooping……you’re very sleepy, you should sleep.”

First, Li Jing’er covered her daughter’s eyes then brushed her eyelids downwards, and at the same time, she told her daughter it was time to sleep.

Children’s thoughts are very pure and simple.

“Yueyue is not sleepy!  I…….”  The little girl yawned while saying that she was not sleepy.  Her small hands rubbed her tired eyes and her small head lowered a little.

“You’re sleepy.  The little lambs are looking for you to play!”

As soon as the little lambs were mentioned, Sister Yue felt sleepy and subconsciously, counted the lambs in her mind.  Very quickly, her eyelids started to droop and kept slipping down and down……..

“Come, little sister……..brother will take you to bed.”

Shuangming, who was afraid that his little sister would be taken away, hurried over to hold his sister’s hand and led her slowly to the bed.

“Uh, thank you Guo-Guo.”  She felt very tired and wanted to lie down.

“You’re welcome.”  With his small thin arms and legs, Shuangming pushed his little sister onto the stone bed with all his might while Xiao Jingfeng looked seriously at him with worry.

Shuangzhen, who had gone to bed first, lifted a corner of the quilt to let Little Sister Yue, who could hardly keep her eyes open, crawled in.  Then as soon as Little Sister Yue’s head touched the pillow, she fell asleep soundly with the quilt covering her.

She was the perfect ‘one-second sleeper’ which is common for children.  A second ago, she was still playing and laughing with the spoon but on the second look, there would not be any sound as she had fallen asleep with her head lowered.

“I still can’t acknowledge my own daughter……..”

Xiao Jingfeng said aggrievedly and turned his grievous words into food that he ate in big mouthfuls.

“What will happen after you acknowledge her?  Are you going to take her away?”

He felt very happy but did not think deeply and his thoughts were not carefully sorted out.

Of course, he can acknowledge his daughter but what will happen next?

“I……”  He stopped suddenly and was lost for words.

He lives alone on the military base.  Although there is a small independent courtyard, it would be very cramped for a family and it is not as good as this stone house in the mountains.

“You have to follow deployment orders from the military.  Today you are at Sanhe Guard Base but who knows where you will be sent tomorrow?  You don’t lead a stable life, so how can you give the child a stable home?  Your daughter is still young and can’t follow you all over the country.”

This is the bad point of being a soldier.  The pay is little, the job has high risks, and there is no fixed place for them to stay.

“I can buy a house for you to stay and I’ll come back to see you whenever I have time…….”  He proposed a solution.

“Do you mean you’ll be back every 3 years to 5 years or come back once every 10 years?  What if you’re sent to the border?  Based on your official position, I’m afraid you’ll have to settle down there.”

Some commanders never returned home for a lifetime and were buried in a foreign land.  If there is no dissent, the border guards will rarely be transferred.

He froze and could not swallow the mouthful of food in his mouth.

“We’re having peace talks recently and won’t be going to war.  If there’s no fighting at the border for a year or two, we who are the conscripted farmers will be released back to the fields and every one of us will have to return to our homes to resume our old jobs.”

“But you mentioned that you’re not sure and there might be sudden changes.  What if the peace talk failed?  The peace we see now is just an illusion and soon the flames of war will rise again.”

A man must have a far-sighted vision and cannot be limited to what others want him to see.

“Jing Niang, you’re overthinking.  General Chen had made all preparations.  We won’t be fighting but once we fight, the enemies won’t have a chance to retreat.”

“Alright then!  Where is your money?  A few days ago I went to the county to ask…….a two-entrance courtyard with a water well costs at least 150 taels of silver and a three-entrance courtyard costs 200 taels of silver.  How many silver taels do you have in hand?”

It’s not that she wanted to make it difficult for him but it’s a matter of reality.

“I have………15 taels.”  He muttered with a red face.

In Wolong Village, 15 taels of silver would be enough for a family of 5 to live for 2 years.  However, in Yangliu County, the annual rent for a two-entrance courtyard is 12 taels of silver and that excludes daily expenses.

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Upon hearing he had 15 taels of silver, Li Jing’er wanted to sigh.  Without thinking, she already knew where the silver taels had gone.

“How much is your monthly salary?”

“Ten taels.”  He thought it was a lot.

“So you can’t eat or drink for two years before you can afford to buy a decent house.  During this period, you can’t fall sick, can’t treat your friends, and don’t have extra to spend or else you can say you can’t afford it.”

She analyzed each of them to cut off his unrealistic thoughts.

“Jing Niang, we can buy a smaller house…….”  He said in a soft voice lest people know how incapable he is.

“You can’t afford it no matter how small the house is.  Don’t you have to send money back to your family?”

Now that they know he is not dead, they will definitely wait for him to send money home every month.

“This……”  He was stumped.

“If you dare to refuse to send them money, your parents will certainly come all the way to ask for money.  Do you believe me?”

“I believe you.”  His parents were this kind of people and they crave money shamelessly.

“Not to mention, if I stay in your house, what status will I have?  That will be your external home and my status will even become lower than that of a concubine.  You’re humiliating me.”

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Men’s thoughts are always very simple.  They will never think about etiquette and the outside world and assume matters will smoothen out eventually.

“Jing Niang, you are my wife.  Wife of the chaff won’t leave the court*.  I will never let you down in this life.”

(Wife of the chaff won’t leave the court means a man who had become rich should not abandon the poor wife who had gone through hard times for him.)

With a serious expression, Xiao Jingfeng grabbed her hand.

“Let go, the children are watching.”  She wanted to pull her hand away but was held tightly.

“I’m not letting go, the children are all asleep.  We must make this clear today.  Unless I am dead, you can only be my wife and it’s alright if you want me to marry you again.”

He made up his mind to hold hands with her until they grow old, be grateful to her, be dedicated to her and will fly together with her like they are a pair of wings.

“You want to marry me again?”

Is this man stupid?  A good horse will never return to old pastures and a good man will not marry a woman who had once been married.  Does he still want to marry his divorced wife?

He nodded.  “Yes.”

“Is there something wrong with your brains?”  He always does stupid things!

Xiao Jingfeng pulled her gently to stand in front of him.

“I will be good to you.  Jing Niang, you must believe me.  As long as I am alive, I won’t let you suffer any grievances.”

“But you’re very poor.”  He was poorer than her.

Instead of feeling angry, he nodded his head.

“I will work hard to earn merits and win the appreciation of my superiors.  When I become a second-ranked official, I will be rich.”

As soon as the words were said, Li Jing’er was so angered that she laughed.

“How long do I have to wait?!  I might as well make money on my own.  A live centipede is worth 100 copper coins and 10 live centipedes are worth 1 silver tael.  In 10 days I can make 10 taels and in a month I can earn 30 taels.  Why should I marry you?”

He said sternly.  “Jing Niang, it’s too dangerous for you to catch centipedes.  Don’t take the risk.”

“Xiao Jingfeng, what if I tell you a method to make money?”

This business doesn’t need any startup capital.  No one is doing this and it is a proper business that no one can snatch away.

“What method?”  He wanted to know the details.

“Make money from the dead…….”

“Make money from the dead?!”  He was shocked.

“Don’t people die in wars?  Those corpses lying on the battlefields need to be cleared eventually!  We can leave the corpses of our own people untouched but if they are the enemies………  What’s wrong with picking off the loot from them?  Those are the things that we deserve.  What is the use of money left behind by the dead?   Even their armor, their battle uniforms, shoes, and the accessories on their bodies can be taken off and sold……..”