Flashbacks and Backlash

I can't tell if Maeva's shivering or just hunching her shoulders in her usual vampiric public posture. I've told her it probably scares people when she does that, but she's only said that that's the point. This is one of those things I just don't bother getting to know in more detail. I probably don't need to know. I don't think I want to know. It's just a Maeva Thing.

Still, if she's cold, I want her to warm up. "Hey, do you want to stop in somewhere? I know it's snowing and you didn't bring a hat or anything."

"Nah, I'm good. I technically have a hood."

"With snow in it..."

Maeva's laughing. "It's fine, don't worry, Mom."

I take the compliment. As long as she's doin' good, I'm good. "All right, well we can pop in at a rest stop anytime before we get too far into the wilderness."

"Evren, this isn't Cardend, the street will always be close by."

Touché.

"So, how's Aika?"

God, Maeva always gets straight to the point, doesn't she? I was hoping to avoid talking about my flustered ass. "Well, it looked like a torn wrist," I tell her, keeping the news solemn and far away from everything else. "She was in the hospital on her birthday, too."

"Oh, I didn't know she had a fight on her birthday. I'm surprised the announcer didn't say anything about it."

"Well, we got there late so maybe he did?"

"Good point." Maeva pauses before her expression changes. Her brows come closer together. "Torn, though. That's not good news."

"No," I agree. "Could I really have seen her last fight?"

Maeva sighs and dodges the question. "I was hoping you'd give me some good gossip I could use to make fun of you later," she says. Wow, thanks, Maeva. "Are you gonna ask her out or not?"

"Maeva!" I gasp.

"Ooh, you already have, haven't you? That wasn't a surprised tone," she says.

I groan. "Listen, I said 'date' but I meant 'friend date,' not... date date."

She just cackles her weird witch cackle. "You're too cute."

I give her my best pout.

"I know you like her," she says with her incredibly annoying shit-eating grin. "You hit it off pretty well last time we were together, too. You're both good competitors and you seem really interested in getting to know her. You know, in the 'I have an obsession... I mean, crush' kind of way. I think you'd be cute."

"Maeva, we haven't even talked much about, like, deep stuff," I argue. I think I'm flailing my hands. Maeva's smirk confirms that the embarrassment I'm feeling is visible. "And besides, relationships are a two-way street. I'm not sure she likes me."

"Of course she likes you, have you seen how she looks at you? She's got a hawk eye, I swear. If you're within a hundred metres, she'll spot you. No one's that good at spotting someone unless that someone is already on their mind."

"Well, I'm pretty easy to spot with the hair. And the publicity. I'm kind of famous. And we're kind of rivals."

Maeva huffs.

I laugh. "No, but seriously, just because she's interested in me as a competitor, or even as a... friend... doesn't mean she's interested in me, like, romantically."

"All right, all right." Maeva yields. "But just know that both Faith and I approve."

They've talked about this...?

"It wouldn't hurt to try, Evren. Sometimes dating is about getting to know people better, to see where it goes. You've been good about staying friends with people it didn't work out with."

I know she's right. She knows I know she's right. But it's... not that easy. I just feel like Aika deserves more care than usual. "And you call me the Mom Friend. How is it that you have this romance radar when you're not even remotely interested in this stuff?"

Maeva just shrugs. "Maybe not gettin' distracted actually makes my radar stronger." I shake my head, not bothering to argue, and we keep walking the frost-covered path up Bethune Point. There aren't a whole lot of people out right now, even though it's lunch time and the sun's shining bright and beautiful. They're probably not fans of the cold. There's a slight breeze, but I'm fine with it. Maeva also seems to be. Or she's pretending to be. I really can't tell sometimes with her. She would've made a good career actor.

Actually, that reminds me, "How's work been going? Did you make that deadline?"

"Ugh, barely," she says. "The research took a lot longer than I thought it would. Who knew that glass chalets would be so difficult to find? That's so specific! At least Jen's given me fewer shifts at the pub so I don't have to also deal with cold hungry customers."

"Amen to that! I still don't know how you manage the service industry. I only survived like a month."

"It's nice when the people are nice. The kids are usually good, but unfortunately there aren't a lot of those at the pub in the evenings."

"If there were, I'd be concerned."

"Yeah..."

We're coming up onto the first overlook now. I can see the break in the bushes and the clear sky beyond them. It's always a pretty view. The area past here has a small river and woods that aren't really explored by anyone. Sometimes I've caught sight of some rabbits, and even deer. I'm surprised animals even go there with all the noise. I guess it's a peaceful place comparatively.

Maeva's made a weird noise so I turn to look at her.

"Wha-ow?!" I feel the dirt path connect with my shoulder. Good thing I landed on my side. My face would have eaten shit. I'm also not that far off the drop-off to the other path below us. That would not have been a fun fall.

"Evren, you ok?" Maeva's half-crouching next to me.

"Yeah," I mumble as I turn over and haul myself up off the ground. I look around for the person who bumped me while I beat the twigs and mud off my coat.

I see Hadley Theoharis staring at me, wide-eyed. Not at all who I expected to be out promenading around the local park. I've never been this close to him before. The last time I saw him was honestly on television. He had his dog with him. I always recognize Major: a shiba inu isn't exactly a common service dog breed. Hadley has him this time, too. He hasn't said anything and is just standing still, staring at me. I'm not really sure what to say. This is an awkward situation. He hasn't opened his mouth to apologize, but he's clearly not leaving or ignoring what just happened. What... do I do?

"Hey," Maeva calls Hadley's way. Her voice isn't accusatory, which is surprising. Usually she jumps on people that give me a hard time, even by accident.

Hadley doesn't answer, but his eyes have kind of glazed over. He looks possessed. I think his hands are starting to shake... Oh. Is he having... a panic attack?

Maeva moves closer to him. "Hey," she calls again, more gently this time. "Are you ok?"

Again, Hadley doesn't answer, but his dog seems to have noticed that something's not right because he's pacing around Hadley and barking and whining. "I think he's having a panic attack," I say. Maeva looks at Hadley worriedly. "Should we... help?" I ask.

Maeva flashes me a disapproving look but Hadley's heavy breathing brings my attention back to him and his dog. Hadley's crouching down next to the shiba inu and petting him. His hands are still shaking and he seems to be sweating, even though it's freezing outside. Maeva's already on him. I'm still frozen. This is the Hadley Theoharis, having a panic attack in front of me, in the middle of a random park in the middle of the day. It's not even winter proper and I've got cold feet.

"Hey, sit down, sit down. There's a tree right over here," Maeva says. She guides him back a couple of feet until he's propped up against a tree and petting his dog with a bit more stability. "Just focus on me," Maeva says as she crouches next to him. I finally snap back to reality and move in to help. After a few silent minutes, Hadley's breathing seems to even out a bit.

"Sorry," he barely whispers.

"Don't be sorry," Maeva immediately says. "Are you going to be ok? Do you need to be left alone?"

Hadley nods and Maeva stands up and grabs me.

"Take care of yourself," I manage to croak out as we leave and continue towards the lookout point.

Once we're out of sight and earshot, Maeva suddenly rounds on me. "What the hell, Evren?"

I don't know what to say, so I just stand in shock.

"What was that back there? "Should we help?" Of course we should. You've been trained with this stuff, I could've used an assist. I had no idea what I was doing."

I can't answer her. If anyone was equipped to help back there, it was me. I know it. Why did I hesitate? What was with the cold feet? Frozen brain?

Maeva groans in frustration but drops the subject when I don't give her a reply. "Whatever. Let's keep going. We'll loop around the second lookout point and call it a day, yeah?"

"...Sure."

I'm walking through the door of my apartment when my brain gets stuck on Hadley again. I should have helped immediately. I should have supported Maeva instead of leaving her to deal with both Hadley and his dog. But again, why couldn't I do it? The question seems to ring forever and ever in my head as I come up with zero answers.

The rumbling of my phone in my pocket startles me. It's Aika.

Hey, thanks for visiting yesterday. I really appreciated it, she says.

of course, no problem at all :) I punch back.

And now Aika's on my mind as well. I said I was going to be the best friend she's ever had, but what kind of friend can I be if I hesitate about helping others?

"Ooh, what are you thinking about, Evren?" Iida's just walked by me and is giving me her signature eyebrow waggle.

I sigh. "People."

"Want to talk about it?" she asks.

I shake my head. I can see she has her keys in hand and is probably about to head out. "You go do whatever you were about to do," I tell her. "I'll just... call Aika."

"All right," Iida nearly sings as she moves to pass me. "Tell me all about it later." She's clearly having a good day.

Now I'm alone in the apartment, somehow having promised my mother that I will tell her about the conversation I'm apparently about to have on the phone with Aika. I have to call her. I can't just make something up, Iida knows me too well. But I haven't ever called Aika; we've only texted and chatted over Visalogue.

"It wouldn't hurt to try, Evren." Ugh, why is Maeva always right?

Ok, fine. We're calling.

It's been ringing for a few seconds now. Maybe she doesn't want to talk?

"Hello?"

Oh shit, she answered. "Hey!" I'm surprised I responded so casually, as if my heart isn't racing. Chill out, Evren, it's just Aika. Your friend. She's not your... girlfriend... ok, never mind, don't think about that. Just be cool.

"Are you... ok?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, just, you've never called me, so I thought that maybe it's urgent," Aika says. She sounds concerned. Great, now I'm stressing her out.

"I don't know." Why did I say that? I mean, it's true, that whole Hadley encounter and the "are you dating Aika yet" question have kind of thrown me off for the day. I can't talk about that latter thing, though. Not yet. "I've had a weird day," I say.

"Want to talk about it? I'm pretty bored since I've been barred from training for a while."

And now I've reminded her about her injury, and probably also her NCC prospects. No, let's avoid that topic. Steer away, Evren. "Rest is a great birthday gift, I'd treasure that. Santeri's been working me to the bone."

She laughs. "Fair enough! I'll take it. A day without Nevaeh yelling at me is a good day, you're completely right." I laugh too. Doing good, Evren! Just relax. "So, what happened today?" Aika asks.

"Hmm, where to start..." Has Aika heard of Hadley before? No, she's got to 've, he was all over the news after the incident. You can't know the NCC without having heard of him at least once. Someone always manages to bring him up. "You know Hadley Theoharis, right?"

There's silence over the phone, but I can sense tension. Wait, should I not have brought up the NCC again? God, Evren, why are you like th- "Have you bumped into him too?" Aika suddenly asks.

"Oh!" So she's met him. "When did you see him?" I ask.

"The other day," she says. "Takumi and I were out shopping when we accidentally bumped into his, um, service dog."

Her voice is shakier than I'm used to it being. "Did he get angry at you?" I ask.

"No!" she says immediately. "No, he was... actually pretty chill. But it was still a bit intimidating." Aika? Intimidated? "What happened with you?"

"Ah, Maeva and I bumped into him when we were out at Bethune Point earlier today. Er, more like he bumped into us."

"On purpose?"

"Oh, no, I don't think on purpose. He seemed really anxious and went into a panic attack."

"Oh, shit."

"Yeah, I didn't know what to do at first, which isn't like me. Usually I respond to these things immediately. I'm trained in panic intervention and stuff. I... feel bad for hesitating to help him."

There's another pause before Aika says anything else. "Maybe... because of his reputation?"

I hadn't thought of that. "But I shouldn't be judging people on just their reputation, right? Especially since the one we know was entirely made up by the media. You know how they are. I sure do. He also genuinely needed help."

"Hm." Aika pauses again. I can imagine her furrowing her brows in the usual expression she makes when she's concentrating. "To be honest, I definitely judged him. He... killed a person, you know? Of course, I know it was an accident, but I think that with all the media coverage and everything, and the dog being there, it's best to be cautious."

"That isn't really fair to Hadley, though," I argue. "He's probably gotten enough crap about the whole incident. He was in court for years. His whole life stopped. He had to relive that day over and over in a public trial. Actually, now that you mention it, the fact that he has a service dog with him wherever he goes is a pretty good indicator of how people like us – the general public – have made him feel unsafe. God, now I feel even more horrible for treating him the way I did. I know all of this and I still got cold feet."

"No, you're right," Aika says. I can hear an apology in her voice. "You're not as bad as me. I flat-out ignored him. And he was just completely friendly and kind and everything."

"It looks like we've both done some wrongs." We should make things right. I straighten myself up. "Let's befriend him," I say with confidence.

I hear silence, then laughter on the other end of the line. Aika's laugh is cute. It's something between a giggle and a cackle, and it's endearing. I can't help but giggle a bit too. "Is befriending people your strategy for winning the NCC?"

"Excuse me!" I laugh. "I am not that petty!"

"Sure, sure, whatever." Aika's still laughing. I let her. Her voice rings in my ears and I swear that it drowns out everything else, echoing and warming my whole head.

"All right, all right, laugh it off," I say as I plop onto the couch. When the giggling finally subsides, I thank her for her time. "I think you've helped me realize that I've judged someone, without even really noticing it. I guess his reputation really did get to me."

"Ditto on that," Aika says. "I think you're right. We should try talking to him."

"Yeah. He could probably use a friend."

"You're a good person, Evren, you know that?" My whole body tingles as Aika's voice softens.

"Thanks," I manage to reply, as genuinely as I can. My heart is pounding. "I'll let you go enjoy your boredom now, since I've got some planning to do." I don't want to hang up.

"Wow, thanks," Aika chuckles. "And good luck. Nice to hear from you," she adds. "We should... do this more often."

Did I... hear that right? "Um, yeah! Definitely!" Was that too much enthusiasm?

"Ok." Aika doesn't seem to mind. "Talk to you later then."

"See ya."

Now I just have the silence of the apartment to keep me company. That, and the rush of my blood through my whole body.