Find Me on the Ice: Chapter 15

“Welcome to Duluth. Have a good day,” the flight attendant says as I step off of the plane.

“Thank you. You too,” I tell her as my palms start to sweat.

Flying states away to see a girl? This is something I can say I have never done, but she deserves it. I would fly to fucking Antarctica if it meant I could get five minutes with her.

When she drunk-dialed me and asked me to come visit, I booked a flight that night without hesitation. It’s pretty much all I’ve been able to think about since then.

Quickly, I make my way through the airport with my carry-on duffel and backpack and order an Uber.

Throwing my hood up onto my Nighthawks cap, I maneuver through the crowds and find the exit rather swiftly, my heart continuing to thrum in my chest with each passing second.

I’m a fucking goner for this girl. I’ve never had anxiety or butterflies before seeing someone like this before. I wonder if I should have messaged her and let her know I was coming. What if she has plans and is out of town or something? I already checked her shop’s hours online multiple times to make sure it would be open. Because if it’s open, then she’s there.

My phone buzzes, telling me that my Uber is arriving. I throw my phone in my pocket, and I quickly find my ride outside.

Throwing my bags across the backseat of the car, I slide into the seat and buckle up.

“Hey, man. How’s it going?” my Uber driver, Jared, asks me.

“Good. How about you?” I ask.

“Great. Thanks for asking. Looks like we’re about four minutes out from your destination. There’s water and snacks; feel free to grab something,” he announces as he pulls into traffic.

“Thank you,” I say, but I don’t take anything.

My leg is bouncing like crazy as I pull my phone out of my joggers and check once again to see that the shop is still open. It’s already six thirty, so the shop is open for another half an hour tonight.

I’ve never opened up with someone like I have with her. She’s gotten to know my demons pretty well. Perhaps that’s why I’m sweating bullets.

It’s easy to get girls when you’re a pro hockey player—that’s not arrogance; it’s just a fact. But I’ve always kept it superficial. It’s always at my place so I can control their length of stay and because I’m in my comfort zone. We fuck, and they leave. That’s it—simple.

But Nikki and I have only kissed once, and she already knows more about my past than anyone else does—aside from maybe Kos. Everything is different with her, and I want it to be. I don’t want to rush anything with her. I want every touch and every kiss to go in slow motion. I want to memorize every second that I’m with her.

The moment her shop is in view, my heart skips a beat. I hope she’s going to be excited to see me.

Shit, maybe I should have called her first before dropping in. But it’s too late now.

“Have a good night, sir,” Jared says as I grab my bags and open the door.

“Thanks. You too.” I tip twenty dollars and climb out of the car.

Too late to turn back now. My stomach is in my throat as I approach the door to her shop.

With my hat and hood up, I might be able to stay under the radar for just long enough to see her first.

But as I pull the door open and the bell rings, Chloe is already turning to face me from behind the counter.

It takes her only a second to recognize me. I don’t see Nikki. Hopefully, she’s in the back or something. It would give me the perfect surprise.

“Cam!” Chloe shouts across the shop, pulling the attention of the group of girls studying in the corner.

They are not impressed by the interruption and go back to their work.

“Hey. Is Nikki around?” I ask, unable to hold back my smile.

Her lips part, and her eyes widen with excitement as she says, “Yeah—I mean, no. She’s at the library. Does she know you’re here? There’s no way she wouldn’t have told me.”

A quiet library, where she will for sure not expect me? Perfect.

Shaking my head, I smile. “No, I’m surprising her. Can you tell me where I can find the library?”

She clasps her hands together on the counter. “Oh, she is going to die, seeing you here.” She laughs. “Yes, come here. I’ll show you.”

She walks out from behind the counter and heads toward the front door, and I follow.

“Do you see that building right there with the blue roof?” She points across the street toward the two-story building at the end of the street perpendicular to us.

“Yeah. That’s it?” I ask.

“Yeah. Here, bring her a croissant. I know she didn’t eat dinner before she walked over there,” she tells me as she hustles over to the display case. She bags up a chocolate-strawberry croissant and hands it to me.

“Thank you,” I say, turning toward the door. But immediately, I spin and face her again. “Do you think she’ll be happy to see me?”

She practically shoves me toward the door. “Oh my God, yes. She hasn’t stopped talking about you. But if you say that, I will deny it until I die. You can leave your bags here if you want—easier to walk that way. Now, hurry up and stop wasting time with me.”

Laughing, I drop my bags behind the counter, then head back towards the exit. “All right, thank you.”

“No problem. Bye, Cam!” she says as I walk through the door and into the softly falling snow outside.

The snow is really starting to come down. I hurry across the street and jog once I hit the sidewalk, closing the distance to the library in no time at all.

The door opens with ease, and then it’s grabbed by the wind and flung open. Pulling it shut behind me, I throw my hood off of my head.

A little old lady sits at the desk up front, so I think that might be a good start.

“Well, hello there. How can I help you?” she asks as she adjusts her glasses.

Cradling the croissant in my arm like a prized possession, I say, “I’m looking for a girl who is about this tall”—I raise my hand to my chest—“and has long light-pink hair. Do you think you could help me with that?”

A light bulb goes off behind her eyes as well as a streak of protectiveness. “Uh, yes. And you are?”

“I’m Cam. I stopped by her shop, but she had already left. Chloe sent me over here with this.” I hold up the bag.

She narrows her eyes, but nonetheless tells me what I want to know with a smile as she points behind her. “She is in the Romance section to your right, dear. You’d better be on good behavior, do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I tell her as I begin to wander toward the section she pointed out.

For as small as this building seems from the outside, it feels huge. Bookcases and bookcases fill the room. I pass at least ten before I see light-pink hair through the gap between rows of books.

As quietly as I can, I creep into the row behind the shelf she is leaning against. I don’t want to spook her too bad, but I want to see what she’s reading and get an idea of what she likes.

I carefully crouch and look over her shoulder through the bookcase between us. She isn’t reading at all. She is on her phone, stalking my Instagram. More precisely, she is zooming in on an action shot from our last game that I posted.

This feels like the perfect moment to announce myself. “If you want ice-side seats, all you have to do is ask, baby.”

“Ahh!” she shrieks, and the look of fear in her eyes as she turns around and meets my gaze stabs me in my heart.

Without a second of delay, I race around the bookcase and kneel in front of her, spinning my cap around so there is nothing obstructing my view of her every micro movement. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. Are you okay? I’m sorry.”

Her chest is rising and falling with such ferocity. I set the bag down and take her hands in mine, rubbing the backs of her hands with my thumbs.

“I’m sorry. Surprising you like this went much smoother in my head.”

She bursts into laughter and squeezes my hands. “Oh my God, please don’t do that again. I might have an actual heart attack next time. What are you doing here?”

Maybe I’ll keep that little secret to myself.

“I wanted to see you,” I tell her with the utmost sincerity.

“You flew here just to see me?” she whispers.

Nodding, I pull her to her feet and gaze down at the short, pink-haired goddess who has me wrapped so tight around her finger and she doesn’t even know it.

Releasing her hands, I bend down and grab her phone, which is still open to my photo, and the bag with the snack in it and hand them to her.

Her cheeks flash red as she remembers I saw her social-stalking me. “Thank you.” She opens the bag and looks up at me quizzically. “Ah, that makes a lot of sense now. Chloe told you where to find me.”

“She did. She also sent that along. So, what do you have planned for tonight?” I ask her.

I take in every beautiful little feature of her face, the ones that FaceTime can’t show me. The small freckles across her cheeks and nose. The small scars on her jaw. The lines by her eyes from years of smiling. Although, I think those smile lines should be more defined. Everywhere I look is as perfect as the last.

“The only thing I was going to do tonight is rewatch , so lucky for you, I’m free,” she says with the sweetest smile on her face.

I thought there would be more awkwardness between us, more nervousness. We FaceTime or text every day. In a way, we already know each other so well. It makes sense that it is so natural between us.

“Good. Because I was really hoping that we could hang out.” I slide my hand into hers as she steps toward the exit.

“Hmm. I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” she mumbles, and my heart plummets. She looks up at me and panics. “Oh my God, I was kidding. Of course I want to hang out with you.”

The ache begins to fade as she strokes her thumb over my hand.

“I thought about you a lot today.”

“Oh, really?” I tease her as we approach the front desk.

“Heading out?” the librarian asks her.

“Yeah. Do you need help with anything before I go?” she asks and turns, giving the lady her full attention.

How is she always so thoughtful? That small gesture might be overlooked by most, but she always makes sure that whoever she is interacting with feels truly listened to—a habit she probably picked up because she once felt like she was never heard. She gives me the same attention every day while we talk. I will make damn sure she always feels the same way with me.

“Oh, no. I can handle it from here. You two have a good night.” She shoos us away with her hands, and I follow Nikki’s lead to the door.

“Did you pack any bags?” she asks. “I have clothes you can borrow, but they might be a little tight.” She giggles.

My smile stretches on my face from that beautiful sound she makes. “I think I’ll have to pass on that this time around. My bags are at your shop. I just have to drop them off at the hotel, and I’m all yours. Do you have a jacket? It’s pretty cold out there.”

She shrugs. “I’ll be just fine. I walked over here, you know.”

I don’t give her a second to protest before I’m pulling my hoodie up and over my head. “Here, wear this.”

She stares at me. “Cam—”

“Please. It will make me feel better,” I assure her.

She hands me her phone and croissant and takes the black Nighthawks hoodie from my hand.

She slides her arms through it, and as the extra-large hoodie envelops her small frame, I know that I am eternally fucked. No one will ever look as good in my hoodie as my Little Dove does. She might not be mine yet, but I’m sure as hell hers.

“What?” she whispers.

Smirking, I feel my cheeks warm as I hand her things over to her. “It looks better on you than me. Keep it.”

I take her hand in mine again when we step outside, and I’m happy to see the snowfall has lightened up.

She swings our hands between us as we make the brief walk back to her shop. “If you want, I was thinking you could—”

Her hand pulls mine as she slips, and I lift her up with ease.

“Are you okay?”

She giggles again. “I didn’t even fall; you caught me.”

“Always, Little Dove. Better safe than sorry,” I tell her as I scoop her legs and cradle her in my arms. “Now, what were you saying?”

Her soft gaze is locked on to my face, and she remains silent for a moment before breaking it. “I was going to say that if you don’t want to stay at a hotel, you could stay with me.”

It takes all of my focus to stay on my feet and not let my knees buckle out. “Are you sure you’re comfortable with that?”

Nodding, she says, “Yes.”

I know how hard it is for her to take a leap of faith with me. “I would love to.”

She looks ahead as we approach the shop, unable to hide the smile on her lips.

“If you change your mind at any point, I’ll go to the hotel, okay? And nothing will change between us. I won’t take it personal, Little Dove, I promise,” I assure her so she knows she has control the whole time.

She turns back to me with glistening eyes and whispers, “Thank you.”

Nodding, I support her weight and bend down so she can reach the handle. “Can you get that for me?”

She leans down and throws the door open, and I catch it with my foot.

“Thanks.”

“Whoa, what do we have here? Cam! What a surprise!” Chloe shouts at us across the now-empty shop.

I lower Nikki to the ground as she laughs. “Shut up! Thanks for the heads-up!”

We approach the counter as I say, “I’m so thankful you didn’t say anything because I caught her creeping on photos of me.”

Chloe cackles. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

Nikki fake glares at her. “Mmhmm.”

An awkward silence falls over us before Chloe says, “Well, I’ll lock up. You crazy kids have a good night. Cam, your bags are back here.”

I step behind the counter and notice that my duffel is unzipped and a complete mess. “Um, what happened?”

“Oh, well, I had to make sure you didn’t have, like, a serial killer kit in there or anything weird, you know. All checked out,” she says as she walks up to Nikki and pulls her into a hug, whispering something in her ear.

Laughing to myself, I zip my bag up.

“Call if you need anything.” She points at Nikki as she walks backward toward the door. “Cam, be good. But remember, I can make you disappear .” She snaps her fingers.

Lifting my hands in surrender, I say, “I believe you. I promise to be on my best behavior.”

She squints her eyes before turning around and walking through the door, locking it behind her.

The thought of my girl and me being alone together for the rest of the night is suddenly very real, and I couldn’t be happier.

“Have you eaten?” she asks me as she grabs my backpack.

I take it out of her hands and grab my duffel bag. “I’ve got it. I ate lunch and a snack on the plane. I’ll definitely need to grab something in a bit. Do you have something in mind? Are you craving anything?”

She continues down the hallway and unlocks a door that leads to a staircase. “Pizza. But I’m always craving pizza.”

We ascend the stairs that lead to a door with more than enough locks on it.

“Pizza it is.”

She begins to unlock the door, starting at the top, and I don’t question why she has as many locks as she does. She’s a single woman who lives alone—that’s answer enough.

“I have some fresh dough and toppings in the fridge, if that works. Or we can order from next door,” she says as she undoes the last lock and opens the door to the small studio apartment.

Up to this point, I have only seen glimpses of her space from whatever has been behind her during FaceTime. It’s small, but it has charm. I’ll probably just sleep on the floor tonight. I’m not going to invite myself into her bed unless she wants me there.

“I would love to make pizzas here. Homemade dough? I might never leave,” I say with exaggeration.

“You’ll be sick of my baking soon enough,” she mumbles.

Gently grabbing her wrist, I spin her around to face me. “Never.”

She gulps, and her skin flushes red. “Set your stuff wherever you’d like. Um, I-I’ll get the pizza going.”

She pulls from my featherlight touch and walks to the kitchen.

With my bags in hand, I bring them over to the sofa as I hear her rustling in the fridge. I unzip my duffel and begin refolding the mess that Chloe made. I stack the clothes neatly on her chair and unpack the rest of my bag as fast as I can so I can join her.

“How’s it going in there?” I ask.

“Oven is preheating, and the pizza station is ready, just waiting for you, slowpoke,” she teases.

“I’m done now.” I laugh, dropping everything in my hands.

Walking a few feet toward her kitchen, I step beside her and wait for her instruction.

“I only have cheese and pepperoni,” she says as she spoons sauce onto her dough.

“Pepperoni is my favorite,” I say as I take a spoon from the counter and scoop sauce onto my dough, smoothing it out.

Silence and tension build between us as we make our pizza. The oven beeps, and she jumps slightly. At least I’m not the only one on edge right now.

“All done?” she asks without meeting my eyes.

“Yeah,” I whisper as her gaze slowly rises to mine.

She wets her parted lips before tearing her focus away and going back to the task at hand. She places both pizzas on a baking sheet and slides them into the oven. She grabs her phone and sets a timer.

“Ten minutes-ish. I usually only cook one, so it’s a guess,” she says as she sets her phone down on the counter.

I take a few steps back and grab the counter with my hands as I lean against it. I can’t help but stare at her. Her eyes are so piercing blue, almost haunting. I didn’t think pink hair could look so good before I met her.

I let my eyes roam over her body, down my hoodie to her bare feet and back up her perfect face. “You are so beautiful,” I whisper to her.

She looks down, and I wish I were close enough to catch her chin to make her meet my eyes so that I could say it again.

“I like you, Cameron,” she says softly while looking anywhere but at me. “But it scares me.”

“What scares you?” I ask her.

“How much I like you. I’ve built such a careful wall around my life, around myself. Letting you into that …” She trails off and meets my eyes. “It’s terrifying. My ex hurt me … a lot. I know you say you won’t hurt me and you won’t let anything hurt me. But what do you think he said to me? He said all the right things all the time until he showed me what he really meant.”

Gripping the counter tighter, I resist walking over to her and touching her. I know how difficult it is to open up about this. I don’t want her to feel suffocated.

“I know you take everything I say with a grain of salt, and that’s okay. The only way you’ll ever trust me is through my actions, and I’ll make sure that they always match my words, I promise. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay at the hotel? I don’t want to push you.”

She smiles, and her face lights up, like the shadows that her ex cast over her fade to the back of her mind. “I want you here, Cam.”

Taking slow steps toward her, I hold her intense stare and place my hands on either side of her against the countertop. Gently, I lean my forehead against hers and close my eyes.

“I want to be here too. I like you, Little Dove.” I lift my head up and place a soft kiss on her hairline. “A lot.”

We spend the next few minutes wandering through her studio apartment on somewhat of a tour. When our pizzas are done, we eat and start on the couches. At first, I want to sit on the sofa seat next to her. But I opt on the other couch across from her’s to prove that I’m not just here for a hookup and to touch her. That I’m here because I really like her. And now I couldn’t be happier with my decision. I would like to say that I learn all about her favorite movie, but I can’t take my eyes off of her the entire time. When the end credits begin to roll, I make a mental note to watch this sometime in the future to actually remember what it’s about.

“So, what did you think?” She turns to look at me on the couch across from her.

I knew I couldn’t sit next to her and focus on the movie. Little did I know, that would happen over here too.

“It was good. I really liked the part in the beginning when she met the queen,” I say, unsure of my answer.

She licks her lips and smiles. “What was the main character’s name?”

“Mila?” I say questioningly.

“Horrible. Just horrible.” She laughs. “What was the country’s name that she was the princess of?”

It started with a and had something to do with pears. “G-G …”

“Did you watch the same movie I did?” She laughs and stands up, pulling the hoodie off of her and setting it next to her.

Adjusting my hips on the couch, I answer genuinely, “I was watching you far more than I was watching the movie.”

“Mmhmm,” she hums. “I’m going to change quickly. I’ll be right back.”

I watch her walk over to a dresser and grab something red out of it before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door.

My need to touch her is going to be at an all-time high if she walks out here in something short and tight. Thank God I’m sleeping on the couch. I would have the hardest fucking time keeping my hands off of her.

When the door opens, I catch my jaw from fucking dropping. She is wearing a silk tank top and shorts set a bra. Her nipples are poking through the red top, taunting me.

She smirks and is well aware of what she is doing.

“Comfortable?” I ask her mockingly, my eyebrows pinching together.

She smiles villainously. “Very. You?”

“At the moment, not very,” I mumble, lifting my hips as my pants tighten from my growing erection.

Standing up, I grab a blanket and and say, “I’ll take the couch.”

When I turn around, she’s mere feet from me.

“Cam.”

“Yes, baby?” I whisper as she takes the blanket from me.

“I can change if this is too distracting,” she offers.

“No, please, God, don’t change,” I beg of her. “I just need a second to … adjust.”

I will never get used to the sight of her.

She bites her bottom lip, grinning.

“I want to go slow, Little Dove,” I tell her as every fiber of my being itches to feel how soft her skin is right now.

She looks at me like she’s waiting for the punch line. “Okay, that works for me. Can I ask why?”

I take a step toward her and another until we are so close that our bodies are pressing against each other in the utmost torture.

Hooking my bent finger under her jaw, I lift her gaze straight up to mine. “When I fuck you for the first time, I want you to trust me completely. I want every cell in your body to respond to mine. I don’t want you to hold back because you doubt what I feel for you, what I would do for you. I want you to want me without fear.”

She wets her parted lips as her eyes darken and soften at the same time. “Okay. But what are we supposed to do right now?”

“What do you mean?” I ask her as I run my fingertips up her bare arms.

She closes her eyes and bites her lip. “What are we going to do right now? Because I am so turned on that I’m about to go to the bathroom and take care of it myself.”

I smirk at her as an idea comes to mind. “How would you do that?”

She hesitates. “With my vibrator.”

“Hmm,” I moan as her breath quickens. “Can I see it?”

She narrows her eyes before walking to her nightstand and pulling it out. “Why do you want to see it?”

I reach out to take it, and she pulls back but gives in after a second. Tucking it in my arm, I grab her hands and gently sit her down on the couch she sat on during the movie. I set the vibrator next to her and walk over to my couch.

My hard-on is already threatening to bust the seams of my boxers.

.

“We don’t touch each other,” I say as she watches my thumbs slip into my joggers, and I push them down my thighs. “But we listen to each other. You tell me what you want me to do to myself. I’ll tell you the same.”

“You want me to masturbate in front of you?” she asks shockingly as I pull my shirt off and over my head.

Grinning, I hook my fingers into my tight boxers. “I want you to use that vibrator and make yourself come as I tell you how desperately I wish it were me. How I wish I could taste how sweet that perfect pussy is between those thighs.”

She slowly reaches for the vibrator while holding my stare. “I’ve never done this in front of someone before.”

“You’ll be perfect, baby,” I praise her as I begin to push my boxers down. My almost-full erection springs free, and I sit down on the couch with my knees falling open.

Little Dove’s eyes are locked on to my hardened cock.

“Are you happy with what you see?”

She nods.

“Good. Then, run that along the inside of your thigh,” I demand.

She listens as I wrap my hand around my shaft, pumping lazily. It is not going to take me much to come with this happening in front of me.

“Good. Now, the other leg,” I order as she drags the tip of the vibrator from the inside of her thigh toward the apex.

Her breathing is loud and heavy, and I can’t wait to hear what she sounds like when she falls apart with her toy pressed between her legs.

“Cam, you-you’re huge,” she moans, and I all but fall apart at the seams.

“Don’t worry, baby. It’ll fit,” I assure her. “Now, press it against your clit.”

She hesitates and gasps the second it hits that bundle of nerves.

“I’m not going to last very long,” she whispers.

“That’s okay, baby.

, I wish I could burn this image into my mind.” I tighten my grip on my cock and pump harder.

Her breaths are already so uneven and labored. I think she’s going to come faster than I thought.

“I want to taste you so badly.”

“So, do it,” Nikki says, and it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to tear those little silk shorts off of her body and tongue-fuck her until she comes in my mouth.

“Nikki,” I warn.

“What? You don’t want to do it?” she asks as a spark lights in her eyes.

“Don’t test me, baby,” I groan as I cup my balls with my free hand.

She throws the vibrator to the side and stands up. I contemplate what I would let her do. If she were to storm over here and grab my cock, would I be able to push her away? Say no to my Little Dove? I honestly don’t know.

But she doesn’t take a step. Instead, she yanks her shorts down, revealing a see-through red lace thong, and kicks the shorts off.

“

.” I pump faster. “Grab the toy,” I demand, knowing I’m moments from coming. Even if it kills me, she is coming first. “Touch your pretty little clit.”

I watch her sit down and push the toy against herself, jumping from the sensation.

“Fuck, Cam,” she moans, and I know she’s on the edge.

Standing up, I walk over to her and drop my arm beside her head and cage her legs between mine as I continue to stroke myself with my left hand.

“Keep going, baby,” I order as I lean my forehead against hers. “There you go,” I praise as she begins to writhe in place.

“Cam. Fuck. Fuck. I’m going to come. Fuck,” she moans as her legs start to quiver between mine.

Pulling back slightly, I hover my lips over hers. “Come for me, Little Dove.”

I pump harder and feel my spine tingle as my orgasm nears.

She falls apart beneath me. “Cam. Fuuuck. Fuck, Cam.”

And it is my fucking undoing. I throw myself down on the couch beside her as I feel my balls tighten, and I plummet over the fucking edge of sanity.

“Fuck, baby,” I groan as I come on my stomach.

I roll my head to face her, and she is panting and staring so intently at me.

“That was … fun.” She grins.

“Good. We can do that anytime.” I smile as my heart rate begins to slow.

“Can I get you something for …” She trails off, pointing to my stomach.

“I’ve got it. You relax,” I say as I carefully stand and walk over to my shirt on the ground. “I’m going to clean up quickly, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” she says as she stands up and walks over to the bed with a shy smile on her lips.